Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Adventure!

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    Scaramouche
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    Adventure!

    Post by Scaramouche on Sun Dec 10, 2017 2:12 am

    Time: 08:00:00
    Date: 12.09.08



    "Skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope skeetle-at-de-op-de-day~!"

    What on earth was that nasally, horrendous racket? Was it the mating call of an exotic animal? Could it be a hiker being mauled by a starving bear? Had cultists encroached into this part of the wilderness for their heinous rituals? If you had guessed either of these things, your imagination was far too lively. But, if you had guessed the culprit was none other than a certain jazzy robot whose Tom Kenny scatting was just atrocious... Stick around; this was a thread for you.

    The morning sun on his metal frame and a cheerful song in his little robot 'heart', Scaramouche was - as usual - nothing but happiness and cupcakes. The reason wasn't as innocent as one would think (in fact, it was rather naughty). "What a bea-YOO-ti-ful day~!" he joyously sang. Annoying didn't even begin covering it.

    Ruby heels softly - crunch crunch crunch! - glided across freshly-fallen snow as the android sauntered his way through one of Portal Breach's many forests, seemingly unconcerned with the obscene amount of moisture surrounding him. Picturesque, no? Despite finding winter to be his least favorite season, there was a majestic quality to it that even Scaramouche couldn't snub. The robot could very well do without all the wet, cold snow clumping on his broad shoulders and paddy hat, however. "Hm..." He paused in his brisk gait and casually inspected his footwear. Fabulous footwear, but highly inappropriate for today's journey. "Well," Scaramouche tutted quietly to himself, chastising, "not one of my brighter ideas, but hey~! Sometimes ya just can't substitute style over functionality." Besides, he wouldn't be out in the elements for much longer. If his memory served (and it was quite good), the android's destination was no more than ten miles northwest. Cyan diodes flickered and soon the distinct whirring and groaning of motorized servos filled the still wintry air. "No point worryin' over spilled milk now!" he laughed, obnoxiously chipper. "I got a job to do and I ain't goin' back 'til it's finished, baby." Just... hopefully not to the point of death.

    That would be bad.




    Good mornin', sunshine~! Just lettin' ya know that I've reached the forest and am currently en route to my designated target. Still have a loooong ways to go but I hope you'll enjoy this picture I've snapped in the meantime! I don't know about you, but all this snow is awful...! Pretty, but awful.

    Anyway, TTFN~! I'll keep ya updated soon.

    XOXO,

    --Mochi
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    Scaramouche
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    Re: Adventure!

    Post by Scaramouche on Sun Dec 10, 2017 3:14 am

    Roughly one hour later...



    "Cold, cold, cold...! Stupid snow...  Stupid ice... Stupid winter!" It took a bit longer than he imagined, but Scaramouche had at last regretted his choice of clothing. Style over functionality? What an idiot! "I know I'm an idiot!" he irately barked. Well then. A grumpy idiot, and also freezing his nose off. Sour, the android furiously rubbed his metal hands together as if hoping the friction would generate enough heat to keep Jack Frost out of the picture, shivering in his boots. Icicles were already dangling from his schnoz - the horror! "I cannot believe I'm doin' this..." No, that was a lie - Scaramouche could and he did. This wasn't just any regular job, you see. This was a labor of the heart - a mission to locate and bring only the very best gift for the special lady in his life. Sappy? Yes, but also incredibly worthwhile. The romantic in Scaramouche wouldn't accept anything less. Anyway...

    He shoved both hands beneath his armpits (for what good that would do) and tried to keep the chattering of his teeth at a minimum. "F-F-Fuck me, it's c-c-cold...!" Elegant as always. Stubborn, too.

    It felt like ages since the birch forest began to thin, their spotty white bark steadily replaced by the hardier dark browns of native pine. Scaramouche found the latter's aroma quite refreshing, admittedly. The change of flora also meant he was getting close. Ruby heels no longer crunched against the frozen earth; they now - clomped! - and - slopped! - as the snow layer grew deeper and deeper with every quarter mile, threatening to swallow his boots whole and leave the android bereft of the meager protection they offered. "Damn snow... I hate you. Ya hear that, I hate you!" Such a petulant automaton, like a child robbed of their toy.

    Eh, shouting at nature literally did nothing other than somewhat raise his dour spirits. Not all seemed grim, though. After a few more colorful obscenities and dragging footsteps through the slush, winter once again proved itself a masterful charmer. The android immediately paused in his hellish trek and no longer wore an irritable grimace, catching his figurative breath as he surveyed a mountainous ridge. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my goooood~!" Scaramouche clapped excitedly, beaming wide. "This is, like, stunnin', baby! The aesthetic... The dawn's gentle rays... The speckled canvas of snowy trees and shit! Oh she's gonna looooove it! Y'know, this is almost worth the frustration." Close but not quite. Nevertheless, his optics zoomed and refocused to take the perfect shot, and once he felt they captured the snowy landscape in all of its majestic splendor...

    Whiiiiir... clik - clik! Clik - clik!

    Photo break!




    It's me again, babe! I'm currently in the - dig this - mountains! And they're gorgeous. Positively gorgeous, baby! ...There's also a metric fuckton of snow. Like seriously, Lu. I can't walk a freakin' step without this awful crap tryin' to suck my boots under! Ooh, Mother Nature's kinda givin' ya a run for your moola~! Anywho, I better get these doggies movin'. The longer I stay out here, the sooner I'll turn into a robo-popsicle. Say 'hi' to Kev and his family for me!

    XOXO,

    --Mochi

    PS: when I get home tonight, bury me in fluff 'cause I was stupid.
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    Re: Adventure!

    Post by Scaramouche on Sun Dec 10, 2017 1:36 pm

    And one hour after that...



    This was a stupid idea. This was a stupid, stupid idea.

    By now, Scaramouche was all but completely frozen, the android's face glistening with an icy layer of frost and the oil coursing within his lines thick and sluggish. Nevertheless, he had found it. A cave of ordinary proportions, its yawning mouth dark and rather uninviting. A low, ominous howl echoed deep within. A howl that would curdle one's blood. "Ugh..." The robot sniffed with a tired grimace. He hated caves. Dark, confining, and riddled with who-knows-what, the robot would rather suffer a lightning storm than crawl into one of these wretched things. A mission was a mission, however, and Scaramouche had already resigned himself to its completion. "Scaramouche," he shivered, "you're a fool, but damn if you ain't a determined one." Eh, a lukewarm pep-talk. Not one of his best. Begrudgingly, the android urged himself forward with all the willpower he could feasibly muster. One step, two step, three step, four step... He could do it. He could enter this cave and not automatically curl into a freezing ball.

    If nothing else, the cave offered shelter - respite from the falling snow and the icy-cold winds. Darkness enveloped Scaramouche whole as he felt his anxiety sharply rise. For the first time since beginning his adventure this morning, a thought came to him: this was dangerous. He didn't know what lurked beneath the earth. He didn't know if this particular cave would lead to anywhere. He simply didn't know, and that was terrifying.

    "Hmph... pull yourself together, babe. You were Aku's No. 1! There ain't nothin' in here you can't handle." Better. That was a better pep-talk. His hand cautiously gripped at a nearby cavern wall as Scaramouche made his precarious descent.

    Were there trolls in here, he wondered? Remnants of ancient civilizations or treasures beyond imaging? Though he was loathe to admit, such possibilities were exciting. There could be anything down here. Or there could be nothing. Either way, Scaramouche was only after two things - precious resources that the earth would undoubtedly covet but bequeath freely. He need only find them, and that, therein, lied his biggest obstacle. Slowly but surely, the android felt his internal balance level and he knew the ground beneath his buoyant feet was solid. It would be demeaning of his reputation if he fell into a pit so early in the day. "Well, so far so good..." he muttered, feeling slightly optimistic.

    But only slightly. He entertained a few more delicate steps before pausing, the cyan diodes of his LED display emitting a soft, fuzzy glow. Dark... way too dark. Maybe he could - ? Curious, the android cranked the brightness setting of his optics to full capacity and took his chances.

    Flash!

    Reckless. If anything was something lurking about in this chamber, it would've barreled for him with an angry roar. Thankfully, there wasn't a living thing in the immediate vicinity or the next cavernous pockets beyond. His plucky efforts were rewarded with a breathless picture; one Scaramouche couldn't help but share. "Wow..." Was it his lucky day or what? The snapshot was filed away for future use and a copy was sent to his fluffy worry-wort back home. "Hon~! She'll love that one too," Scaramouche grinned. Wait, focus. This wasn't a trip for the scrapbooks - this was a mission. A mission of the utmost importance! "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" He huffed and readjusted his paddy hat with a disgruntled look. "Like, lemme warm up and catch my breath, will ya? Sheesh... This is gonna be backlogged anyway." What an insolent little upstart!  




    Ta-da~! Surprise, mi vefo - I'm in a cave! Now, I know what you're thinkin'. How could I, the fabulous Scaramouche, eagerly be spelunkin' when I absolutely hate caves? Hon, hon~! That's for me to know and for you to find out! The reception's spotty in here so I'll try to keep in contact with ya as much as I can. Please don't worry if I go dark for a lil' while, though, 'kay? I won't be dead, promise! It just means I lost reception. Until then, enjoy this dazzlin' photo I snapped! Pretty neat, huh~? And look, not a bear in sight!

    Miss ya lots,

    --Mochi
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    Scaramouche
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    Posts : 187
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    Age : 32
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    Character Sheet
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    Health Bar:
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    Stamina Bar:
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    Re: Adventure!

    Post by Scaramouche on Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:54 pm

    Well... the good news was, Scaramouche hadn't eaten shit and wasn't mauled during the first ten minutes of stepping foot inside this miserable joint. The bad news was, caves sucked. They sucked harder than a magical musical robot thirsting for dick in a sea of women. "...A lil' on the nose, don'tcha think?" Truth hurts, babe. "Eh!"

    So there the android was, alone in the dark and shivering, uncertain of his life's choices and feeling mighty dumb right about now. It didn't take much, honestly. He rubbed his metal hands together and grumbled lowly. "Alright, alright... You can do this, baby, you can do this! Spooky cave or not, you've been through worse. Ya just gotta keep calm and think - think!" Unsurprisingly, the cave was pitch-black. A regular buffoon with an unaided eye wouldn't be able to see jack no matter how hard they tried, let alone spot whatever called this place home. How fortunate for Scaramouche that he was a robot with more tricks up his sleeves than a sleazy car salesman. "Hm, not sure I particularly like that analogy, but..." He shrugged and reached up, fiddling with his LED display. "Okay! Now to see if my sonar mod ain't inconveniently a bust. That'd be just a shitty stroke of luck, huh? Can't have your character die so early in the game~! 'Cause then you'd have to actually do some elbow grease for once." Eh! It was tempting, so don't push it. Rock beats aluminum every time.

    Beep!

    Instantly, Scaramouche's means of vision shifted with an electric hum. No longer did the robot observe the world in the visible light spectrum but in one of pure sound, color exchanged for ripples of cascading waves with every delicate click of his heels. "Hon hon~!" He laughed and the cavern practically gleamed. "Now this is more like it, babe!" So long as the android spoke, so long as he resumed walking, so long as he simply made noise, every detail became as intimate to Scaramouche as the back of his hand. The path before him shone as if it were cast in daylight, the rough divots and intricate splintering of rock no longer shrouded by darkness. "And to think," he smiled, pleased by these turn of events, "I had this mod installed so I could bump off people in the dark~!" Now look at him - Scaramouche was using this to find his way through a stupid cave. Not quite as glamorous as assassinating a shrewd target, but it sure beat going about this as blind as a deaf bat! Know what would make this even better, though? "Hon hon hon~! Are ya thinkin' what I'm thinkin'~?" Yes, sadly... "Good. You just love my bea-YOO-ti-ful voice so~!" Urge to drop surprise boulder of death... rising! Scaramouche puffed out his chest and let his obnoxious magical voice rip:

    "We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig in our mine the whole day through~!
    To dig dig dig dig dig dig dig is what we really like to do~!
    It ain't no trick to get rich quick~!
    If you dig dig dig with a shovel or a pick~!
    In a mine! ...In a mine! In a mine! ...In a mine!
    Where a million diamonds... shiiiiine~!"


    Spoiler:

    Sigh... it was going to be a long, long day.

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    Re: Adventure!

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      Current date/time is Thu Apr 19, 2018 7:47 am