Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Advice from the Robotic Uncle

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    Re: Advice from the Robotic Uncle

    Post by Scaramouche on Mon Sep 04, 2017 1:24 pm

    "You two have made for a nice 'family' so far! It's all I could ever ask for, really."

    Did... Did she really mean it? Like, actually mean it?

    Though it was strange for a robot and a cat-woman to act as surrogates, what they were wasn't important. Korra wanted them. She actually wanted them, and that was all Scaramouch needed to hear. Before she could even react, a metal hand grasped the Avatar's head and - whump! - shoved it into the android's metal bosom. "Aw, that is sooooo cute~!" he squeaked. "You really like hangin' out with us? Really, really~?" Oh no, Scaramouch was getting hot! Cooling fans loudly droned, but it was pointless - the damage had been done! His grin couldn't possibly get any bigger. "We like havin' you and Bailey too, kiddo! Come over for breakfast! Come over for lunch! Hell, come over for second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper!" It was too late, Avatar. You had made a friend for life. That was an awfully long time, you know? Here's hoping you had the patience of a saint - you'll need it.

    All the while as Korra reminisced and shared personal details of her life on another world, the android faithfully listened. He listened, kept mum, and absentmindedly stroked the Avatar's head in a friendly, caring manner. Only when she was finished did Scaramouch pipe up in his Scaramouch way. "It's not easy bein' a hero figure," he agreed with a small nod, "but think of it this way, kiddo: you did what very few could." What did this mean, exactly? Let him elaborate!

    With a curt laugh, the android gently released Korra from his iron-clad grip. "You wanna know why heroes are in such short supply?" he asked. The answer was simple, if not... a little sad. "It's 'cause bein' a hero is a thankless gig, that's why! Everyone puts their expectations and concerns on ya - everyone - and there ain't no manual that comes with the job. Through you, kiddo, people are able to wake up each mornin' and find a reason to keep on tickin'. That's why you had a target on your back - all symbols of hope do. And for what it's worth, this old 'bot thinks you're very brave for choosin' the higher, less journeyed path." When it came to heroism, Scaramouch was sorely... lacking in that department. Not because he was callous or apathetic, but because he was afraid. A robot's place was to obey, to serve. And while a hero may do both, they were oftentimes prone to stepping out of conventional boundaries and doing what no one else could or wanted. In that, the android truly was in awe of Korra's selflessness.

    "Of course, there ain't no harm in freein' yourself and livin' life, too~!" Another downside of the heroic life: being society's lapdog. That was no life for a young dame, no sir! "So long as you're cognizant and not thick between your ears, I think ya should go out and forge a trail for yourself, kiddo! Find what ya like to do, see what you wanna, and just enjoy life for what it is - a series of random, spontaneous events~! Better yet, share it with somebody." Wink wink, nudge nudge. He gave the Avatar a knowing wink and accompanying smile. "Life's no fun when you're too busy fightin' baddies and worried about reputation. Now that you're here, I highly recommend ya just appreciate each day for what it is, kiss your puppo and Bailey, and live every moment to its fullest. Hon, it works for me~!"

    Why do you think Scaramouch loved faffing so much?

    But yes, living on your own wasn't without its expenses: money, space, food. All this and more would impede the girls' progress, though grasping success wasn't impossible. It simply took careful planning, budgeting, and discipline! "Hmm... well, you will definitely need enough room for Naga," Scaramouch hummed. With a polar-bear dog as big as she, Korra's options would unfortunately be limited. "I dunno 'bout a flat such as mine, but you cooooould find a house to rent? That's a thing, y'know!" A house with a spacious yard, preferably. As for jobs... that was easier said than done.

    He clicked his tongue, thinking. "Savin' on groceries is smart, but so is figurin' out what you wanna do." The android had a funny feeling, just a small one, that saving the world and bending the elements didn't pay well. He also had a feeling that Korra wasn't a veteran of money... "When it comes to employment, ya should really narrow down your passions and interests. Don't do what most people do, kiddo! If ya find somethin' your heart's not into, you'll be miserable and bored. Since this world has a different concept of cash, I suggest you and Bailey figure out your likes together. Personally, I don't see you as the customer service-type. You're far too free-spirited and stubborn for that~!" And, really, it'd be a crying shame to confine someone like Korra, who could bend the elements, to a cash register.

    "French kissing?"

    ...Oh, gear shift!

    "Mmmmmhm~!" Scaramouch's face said it all: ooh la la~! "French kissin' is when you add a lil' tongue. Hon~! Some folks like that." And because he was such a pill, the android stuck out his and loudly went - "Phhhhbbbbt! And ya don't need to have a penis for penetrative sex! That's what strap-ons are for." ...Oops! He said the p-word. Eh, Korra was old enough.

    "What? Y-you mean...fingers can go there?! Hnnngh...!"

    Or, well... maybe not. Mentally, that is. She seemed quite aghast by the very idea.

    In true shameless fashion (as was typical of Scaramouch), he shrugged. "Er... yes? Fingers can go anywhere, kiddo. It is an erogenous zone, after all." Like, duh...?
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    Re: Advice from the Robotic Uncle

    Post by Korra on Tue Sep 05, 2017 6:15 pm

    What was--whoop! And suddenly the Avatar found her face pressed up against the simple cotton of Scaramouch's lazy day t-shirt. A hand lay comfortably atop her scalp and the metal beneath her face seemed to warm up immediately. Combine that with the pleased croons of the robot and it seemed she had said just the right thing! Chuckling softly against him, she nevertheless returned the affection by wrapping her arms around him and shuffling closer. Aah...see? This was more affection than she had ever been afforded by her real uncle. Quite comfy too. She could see what Lunette saw in him. Lips tugging into a playful smirk, Korra peered up at him with her crystal blue eyes. "Really, really! You two are amazing" She chirped back, voice filled with mirth. How else could Korra describe two people who had been so helpful and supportive of the two of them? "Those are a lot of meals, you sure we won't eat you out of house and home?" Despite the position against him, she did her best to puff her chest out proudly. "Being the Avatar gives ya a mighty appetite." Could you afford to foot the grocery bill, Uncle Mochi?

    As Scaramouch began to stroke her head, large fingers very careful with her hair, Korra found herself leaning into his hand. On some level, she felt that such affection should be 'strange' coming from somebody she hadn't known for a while. But then again, this was somebody she'd given a familial nickname to! He had been very calm, and being held like this kinda reminded her of her dad. The young woman almost protested when he let go, though she complied by pulling away from his chest. And yet, she still shifted herself so that they were knee to knee as she listened. Thankless gig... Yeah, no, the jazzbot had it pegged. The bottle was turned about in her hand, beverage swishing softly as Korra smiled to herself. Symbol of hope...she liked the sound of that. "You're right. After all, the other Avatars had their troubles too! It's not easy but...there's not really any other choice, you know? At least, not one I could live with." The Avatar smiled brightly at her 'uncle', eyes brimming with a fair bit of naivety. Despite what she had been through, the drive to protect and fight had not yet been beaten out of her. "Thank you. It means a lot to know that you think I'm brave! For what it's worth, Bailey and I think the world of you both." She echoed his own phrasing, leaning over to give him a nudge. "You're generous, kind people. I think Bailey's been missing out on folks like that in her life. So knowing the two of you are here for her... I'm happy."

    Living her own life, Korra was embarrassed to admit that that had not been something granted to her back home. How could she, after all? She had been trained from a young age to solve the problems of the world. A pleased smile graced her lips at the robot's words, only turning bashful at the mention of 'sharing' her life. Real subtle. "I would like that..." Korra seemed to mumble, cheeks a-glow. That was the life for her, no doubt about it! Just enjoying each day and loving those she cared for. A faffer's life for her, it would be!

    Though even a faffer had to consider reality, and the truth was that with two dogs between them? Space was a priority. Snapping out of her daydreams, the young woman nodded her head as eagerly as a bobble head. "Oh yeah, no. We definitely need a yard for Naga and Ailbe, they have to stretch their legs!" Scaramouch was definitely speaking her language, a happy sound escaping her at the thought of a house to rent. "A real house? We could rent one?!" It was clear that buying a home was new to her, especially a little house. "Oh that'd be perfect!" Even narrowed down their choices for homes! What a productive little visit this was proving to be.

    "Yeah...that's easier said than done." Korra admitted with a drooping pout, fingers idly playing with the strands of her ponytail. The idea of a job seemed as evasive as the stars in the sky. If only she could reach far enough to pluck one out! What were the opportunities for employment here? What could she possibly do? "Like the people in the groceries stores and stuff?" Without even meaning to, the Avatar's lips curled at the very thought. Seated behind a register or wandering the aisles... She could already tell she'd just feel cooped up. "Yeah, I think I'd be lucky to make that work a week before getting fired..." With a 'hmph', her chin nestled into an open palm to ponder over her 'interests' and 'passions'. Hmm... "Well, I like to help people. Obviously. And I really like getting to exercise, train, working out... I do my best when I can move around and use my muscles! If I'm just sitting behind a desk or something, I get restless." With furrowed brows, she gave the robot an almost hesitant stare. "Maybe I could help people workout at the stadium...?" The halt in her tone betrayed her own doubt in such an idea. There was no guarantee that anyone would be interested, after all.

    "Oh! Tongue?" Giggling at the impromptu raspberry, the young Water Tribe woman seemed to appreciate the subject change. Her own tongue waggled within her own mouth, Korra pressing it against the back of her teeth experimentally. The tip roamed over the gum line, and for a moment she imagined doing it in Bailey's mouth. Humming thoughtfully, she nodded to herself. "I think I can do that." Strap-ons, though? That was another story entirely. Granted, the term was technically foreign but considering the subject at hand and what the words implied... Heat flushed its way across her face and the Avatar could do little else but huff. It was her surrender, for obviously, Scaramouch had her there. Just as he did with this new knowledge that fingers could go anywhere. Soon, her gawking drifted from the robot's perplexed face down to her own palms. Each finger flexed, Korra gaping at them as if she expected them to detach from her hand and crawl away like little brown caterpillars.

    "I can't believe it... Nobody ever told me that!" For now, the idea was...inconcievable. Then again, everything below Bailey's waist might as well be a mystery wrapped in a puzzle. "I think for now...I'll focus on the stuff that's not down South." Korra muttered, seeming embarrassed as her hands dropped back down into her lap. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."
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    Re: Advice from the Robotic Uncle

    Post by Scaramouche on Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:05 am

    Oops.

    Was this too touchy-feely? Maybe it was too touchy-feely...

    Pfft, nah! Not when the Avatar herself was just as affectionate! "Eat me outta house and home, huh~?" You know what? Scaramouch will accept that challenge. "Tch! It's like you've never been to a buffet or somethin'... They're practically designed with mighty appetites in mind, kiddo~!" Had the Avatar been to a buffet? ...Did she even know what a buffet is? All sorts of mechanical gizmos and doodads clicked as they processed this highly important query. "Mmmmmaybe we'll take you and Bailey out to lunch one day so you can have the experience, how's that?" the android offered. Hey, it seemed like a really 'uncle' thing to do! And, you know, Scaramouch was somewhat curious to see why organics loved buffets so much. Something about endless piles of nourishment...?

    "Thank you. It means a lot to know that you think I'm brave! For what it's worth, Bailey and I think the world of you both. You're generous, kind people. I think Bailey's been missing out on folks like that in her life. So knowing the two of you are here for her... I'm happy."

    Urge to suffocate Korra in yet another hug... rising! As hard as it was keeping both hands to himself, the robot managed to respect the Avatar's personal space. She was just so cute and innocent and - gah! Bailey was one lucky dame. "Hon~! Aw, thank ya, kiddo... That's very kind of ya to say! In truth, I think a lot of us have been missin' out on healthy, stable relationships - platonic, romantic, and anythin' in-between. A new world means new hardships, and what better way to overcome our collective struggles than to partake in communal well-bein', huh?" Made sense to him! Of course, Scaramouch was also a hopeless romantic (and quite naive), but the android stubbornly clung to his infectious optimism. "And hey, don't sweat it, kiddo," he continued with a cheerful smile. "We're here for both of ya, just how you're both here for Lunette and myself. We may not be related and we certainly hail from all walks of life, but!" This next part was important. The android held up a finger and drove his point home. "But, so long as we nurture our relations and stick together, I think we're all gonna be juuuust ducky. Hon, hon~! Can't enjoy a garden if it's nothin' but weeds and neglect!" Life's easiest when it was simple and carefree, you know?

    "Of course ya can rent a house, kiddo! It's, like, what a lot of couples and folks do~!" Ooh, was that blush spreading across the Avatar's tanned cheeks? Inconspicuous scanners made short work discerning Korra's vitals. Rising body temperature... quickened heart rate... sweaty palms... Mhm! Those were the telltale signs of love, alright~! Fortunately for Korra (and because Scaramouch was feeling generous), the robot didn't poke fun. That'll come later, trust him. "Pfft, the stadium..." Oh alright, it was gonna come now.

    Synthesized honking filled the air. "As if, kiddo!" remarked the android, incredulous. Silly Korra; gotta step out of your comfort zone and see the world! Can't do that while shackled to an arena, hm? He winked and not-so-politely poked the Avatar's cheek. "Why settle for somethin' you've already known when there's an entire world at your fingertips? Why, with skills like yours, kiddo, I bet you could get all sorts of stuff!" But, yes - it was time to brainstorm. From the sounds of it, Korra enjoyed being a help to the people and wasn't a fan of being locked up like a bird in a cage. Who could blame her? A stadium was just a cage without a visible frame, however, and Scaramouch felt she could do better. Loads better, in fact. "Y'know, if I didn't know any better, it kinda seems like you wanna be a personal trainer," he pointed out. Nothing wrong with that, but there was still plenty to consider before they got too ahead of themselves.

    A pensive - "Hm..." - escaped him.

    Now, Scaramouch wouldn't pretend to know the full details of being a personal trainer. He would, however, engage in a quick internet search and study whatever he'd find lightning-fast. There were some good things and ther were some bad things. "Well..." he muttered, clicking his tongue. "Good news is, kiddo: I think you're young and spry enough to help motivate others to get in shape. Bad news: you might need certification. It's just, like, how the system works, y'know? Otherwise, any ol' schmuck could be one!" Knowingly, the android didn't let Korra flounder.

    "You'd probably have to take courses and get schoolin', but I don't think it'd be anythin' major. You could easily do it!" Scaramouch grinned. "That is, of course, assumin' you wanna be a personal trainer. If ya decide to look into it, you'd at least be able to work at plenty of locations and you'd get to help all sorts of age groups. I think the job sounds very diverse and liberatin' for your needs!" And, if not, he could always perform another internet search and pick the web for whatever bounty it so freely provided. You know who else could benefit from an internet search, though? And on her own time?

    "I can't believe it... Nobody ever told me that!"

    Yeah.

    Truly, it was a sorry, sorry state of affairs... One that even had Scaramouch shaking his head in disbelief. "On the level?" he asked, piping up. "Were you, like, raised in a monastery or somethin'? 'Cause, uh, no offense to you or nothin', but man..." For someone her age, Korra was awfully ignorant in a lot of ways! Then again, maybe Avatars were supposed to be celibate? Oh lord, what a can of worms that would be. The robot quickly fanned a metal hand and steered their conversation to greener, more productive pastures. "Alright, alright - so ya don't wanna entertain any of this stuff with Bailey for now. That's fine! Hey, your body, your rules, ya dig? But I wouldn't be a very good uncle figure if I said ya both don't need to brush up on your sexual education. It's, um, kinda important..." Birds and the bees from a robot... What a timeless classic. Where was Lunette when he needed her!?
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    Re: Advice from the Robotic Uncle

    Post by Korra on Wed Sep 20, 2017 9:52 pm

    A buffet? The Avatar peered up at the robot, her eyes gleaming like a pair of aquamarines. "Oh, I know what a buffet is!" Shocker, right? "That's like the Inn's restaurant! Different kinds of food, all laid out for people to sample as they want, right?" Definitely sounded like something befitting a large appetite. So many options to choose from! Even if she was used to the Inn's buffet style food, however, it didn't lessen the excitement that brightened up her smile. "I'd be honored, Uncle Mochi!" Her smile soon turned mischevious, nudging Scaramouch with an elbow. "Hehe, maybe we could think of it like a double date!" A double date with people she thought of as family who were treating herself and her girlfriend to lunch, but a double date nonetheless! Despite the teasing, it was clear that Korra enjoyed the idea, practically buzzing with excitement.

    "Kind as it is, I speak nothing but the truth!" She boasted with a toothy grin. It wasn't in her nature to lie about things like this! So if she thought the world of this goofy robot, it was as sincere as it gets! As for the lack of stable relationships in their lives, good ole Uncle Mochi spoke nothing but the truth. There were exceptions of course, like Sokka! But on the whole, there had been something missing from the lives of the Water Tribe teenagers. Things were tough when you lost your family and friends. Finishing off her bottle with a thoughtful hum, Korra was quick to toss in her two yuans as soon as she swallowed! "I think you have a point! Taking part in that talent show was a lot of fun. It made me sad I'd missed the one the year before!" Interacting with the community, hearing the 'ooh's and 'aah's of people admiring her talents... It felt pretty spectacular.

    "Maybe it's just because I'm in love and stuff but... I've been feeling really happy lately. Like a new Korra!" One with new friends, a new girlfriend, and new plans for the future! How could that not make somebody excited? Dark cheeks reddened at Scaramouch's reassurance, a deep crimson that traveled all the way up to the tips of her ears. "T-thanks... It feels really nice to have people like you guys to depend on." The garden metaphor was a little weird, but it made her smile all the same. Sounded like something Tenzin would say, although he wouldn't have sounded nearly as chipper as the robot! Chuckling lightly, she regarded the other fondly. "You may be silly, but you really are wise." Just like a real uncle.

    Renting a house... Who knew there was so much to being in a relationship? Well, apparently everybody but Korra knew something like that. It was almost embarrassing, but she couldn't even think about that as her heart felt as though it might pound right out of her chest! A house, a yard to let their pets run around in, a couch to snuggle on, and a bed to sleep in together... All of it made for a dorky lovestruck look on the Avatar's face. Yep, she had it bad. Only obnoxious honking and a poke to the cheek could cut through a rosy and romantic vision like that! Inspecting her fingertips, Korra felt a frown tugging at her lips. "I don't know..." It all just sounded so far away. Even as she spitballed a potential career, the young woman began to seem more and more hesitant of her own idea. As Scaramouch said, there were pros and cons to it. On paper, it sounded like something up her alley and it wasn't like Korra would let something like certification get in the way or something she wanted! But that was the problem, wasn't it? She sighed, and her cheek found a comfortable place nestled upon her own palm.

    "All I've ever wanted to be was the Avatar. Ever since I was a little kid! It's everything I've worked for...and I guess now I realize that no matter what, I am the Avatar. And I don't have to prove anything to anyone or do things for people just because I think that's what an Avatar does. But I don't think I really want to be a personal trainer... It sounds fun but I think I'd enjoy it more if I was just training with Bailey or a friend! And you can't really charge for that..." What kind of jerk would charge their friends or their girlfriend for something like that? Obviously, she had to reassess her wants...the kind of things she wanted in a job. Fingers wove their way through the hair of her scalp, lips pursing into a pout. "I don't suppose you can make a job out of just...'helping people', huh?" Seemingly simple, right? It was all she wished, and yet it seemed so elusive! What kind of job would truly allow you to help people? Too bad vigilantism didn't pay.

    "On the level? Were you, like, raised in a monastery or somethin'? 'Cause, uh, no offense to you or nothin', but man..."

    Hm? Blinking at her uncle figure, Korra could only give a surprised "Um, sort of?" Poor uncle Mochi. That would probably need a bit of elaboration. Pulling her hand free of dark brown tresses, attention shifted completely to the metal man. "When I was 4, the White Lotus realized I was the Avatar. They're sort of like body-guards. They trained me and protected me for years in a private compound in the Southern Water Tribe. Stuff like kissing and relationships and...sex," She whispered the last part as if trying to conceal the subject from invisible ears. "Wasn't really an important curriculum for a growing Avatar. The most I learned was about the time of the month, and how babies are made!" Neither of which were going to be of particular use while she was courting a certain redhead. But Scaramouch had a point, these were things she'd have to address someday. Who knew what else she was ignorant about?! Furrowing her brows, the Avatar cupped her own chin in the deepest thought she could conjure up. "Would the library be a good place to learn about it? I mean, I love you and all Uncle Mochi, but I'm not sure you could handle being the only one teaching me about this stuff..." Poor guy might blow a gasket over just how little she knew! Or maybe Korra would be the one to bend, fainting as the robot gave her more and more pointers for the 'bubs'.
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    Re: Advice from the Robotic Uncle

    Post by Scaramouche on Sun Sep 24, 2017 5:55 pm

    Oh, so Korra did know what a buffet was? Color the android shocked! "Hon~!" Scaramouch grinned, not admitting a few of his more insulting thoughts. Nine out of ten pertained to the Avatar's level of intelligence - in a friendly way, however! Not like his usual jerky 'tude. "You're right on the money, squirt. Though I've never bothered with 'em, I guess they're the elephant's eyebrows with ya organics! ...Maybe stuffin' your mouths to the point of suffocatin' is euphoric?" A robot obviously wouldn't understand the insatiable lust people had for smorgasbords, but ole Scaramouch did catch wind of the imp sitting on Korra's shoulder. Mm, she was gonna tease him by probably - nudge, nudge! - yep, poking and prodding her elbow against his metal sides. Korra's antics elicited a synthesized grunt. "What d'ya take me for, a babysitter?" he huffed. Tut, tut! Only bad uncles didn't watch their nieces and nephews like a hawk. Besides, hadn't he already extended the invitation? The android's irritation didn't last long; it never did. "Pfft~! I'm just teasin' - a double date sounds ducky! We'll have to pencil in a date that works for all of us."

    Scaramouch wasn't made of mercury, he swore!

    "I think you have a point! Taking part in that talent show was a lot of fun. It made me sad I'd missed the one the year before!"

    "Don't I always~?" But yes, the talent show had been incredible! A fabulous turnout, roaring applause, and getting to strut their stuff for a certain few highlights in the crowd. Really, what wasn't to love? "Hey, nothin' wrong with feelin' like a new you. It's like they say: where one door closes, another opens~! It's good spreadin' your feelers around." Never know what's gonna bite, right? Anyway, stick around, Korra: when it came to wisdom buried underneath ten layers of tomfoolery, look no further than the clownish robot beside you. "I like bein' silly~!" Really, no surprise there. "Means I'm the life of the party while bein' quite the wildcard. Super useful for gettin' the drop on folks!" Everyone knew a fool was a fool, but only those who enjoyed living knew better than to judge a unpredictable book by its obnoxious, honking cover. Now, then... What's this about the Avatar letting uncertainty seep its way throughout her, pardon the pun, spirits? The whimsical jester in Scaramouch took first to the stage. "Why the long face, kiddo? Ya seem troubled." Well, duh. Korra didn't know how to wrangle her own future and shape it into something more akin to her passions, her needs, her dreams! Hm... funny, who else did this remind the android of?

    Being the spiritual link between mortals and spirits...

    Catering to others and running a business because it's what your father wanted...

    Boy, organics had it rough. They touted all this free will and still became shackled to destiny; or, in terms a robot would comprehend, a designated purpose imposed by others. By all logical reasoning, Scaramouch wasn't the best equipped for such a discussion. "Hm... can't know unless you try~!" Didn't stop him! Isn't that all anyone could do?

    "I think, maybe, you're bein' too pessimistic about all this," he added, wearing a reassuring smile for Korra's sake. "Remember what I said 'bout givin' others hope? Well, who said ya can't do that now, huh?" Allow this old machine to elaborate. "While you most likely won't belch fire and slam people-sized chunks of earth outta the ground to make a livin', you can still make a positive difference helpin' others out. Will it be glamorous? No, probably not. But hey, to the other person who desperately needs your help, it could be! I just think, maybe, ya gotta start by reinventin' the wheel. And by that, I mean conditionin' your brain to realize that no small deed is worth less than a heroic one!" Ah, but he needed an example - something to really hammer this home. Perhaps he should use...? "I know ya said ya don't wanna be a personal trainer, but think of it this way, kiddo: suppose you enlisted yourself at the local hospital, or even a therapy group somewhere in the city. D'ya know why folks need physical trainers? Here's a hint: it's not only 'cause they wanna get in shape~!" The problem with organics, he found (and Scaramouch meant this respectfully), was that they were too quick to narrow their horizons. He felt the same was true for Korra and Lunette, bless their kind hearts. "Lots of people need physical therapy 'cause misfortune befell them; accidents, injuries, worsenin' health conditions, losin' the will to live... just to name a few. By havin' other, more able-bodied folks assist them and reinforce a positive regimen into their daily activities, it really boosts their quality of life! It gives them hope - and that, kiddo, is just as important as savin' a city or baggin' the bad guy." It's the little things, you know? "Anyway! That's just one idea out of infinite. We'll keep spitballin' until ya find somethin' your heart likes~!"

    ...Oh lord, did she just whisper the word 'sex'?

    Alright, that was enough insightful chit-chat. Scaramouch smelled blood in the water! "Y... You can say it, y'know. Sex. Intercourse. Nookie. Hanky-panky. Coitus. Doin' the pip-pip-diddly-doo~!" That last one got a short laugh out of him. "Hon, hon~! It's not like you're gonna summon a boogeyman if ya do, kiddo! Seems like these White Lotus yahoos were like your everyday religious fanatics..." Read: boooooring! There was nothing 'high and mighty' about locking up a young woman and keeping her dangerously sheltered.

    "Would the library be a good place to learn about it? I mean, I love you and all Uncle Mochi, but I'm not sure you could handle being the only one teaching me about this stuff..."

    The android clicked his tongue.

    Loudly.

    "And what's that supposed to mean, huh?" Couldn't handle? Couldn't deal? The look on Scaramouch's metal face said it all. "You do realize who you're schmoozin' with, right? Like, I'm Scaramouch, kiddo. I'm Scaramouch and I know scary-much about everythin' and anythin' to do with 'carnal knowledge', ya pickin' up what I'm throwin' down?" His one (depressing) claim to fame and here Korra was, shitting all over it! "Hm, I suppose the library can be a generous wealth of knowledge..." he ultimately answered, lips pursed with obvious disdain. "But ya can't get everythin' from the lifeless, unfeelin' pages of a book, mhm. Some of this stuff, kiddo, requires a hearty amount of experience. If only ya could charm the local librarians for some personal one-on-one time, ooh~!"
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    Re: Advice from the Robotic Uncle

    Post by Korra on Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:15 am

    Hey, Korra was a meathead after all! Naive and sheltered as she was, you could bet the Avatar knew her stuff when food was involved! "Elephant's eyebrows?" She couldn't help but repeat the odd phrase, amusement clear in her voice. She certainly didn't think of an elephant's eyebrows when she decided to enjoy a feast but to each their own! A chuckle rumbled out of the young woman, sticking out her tongue in a brief razz before she decided to correct him. "It's not the 'suffocating' that's so amazing, it's the food! Having a bunch of choices and getting to mix flavors together is the real elephant's eyebrows! If you're suffocating, you're doing it wrong." Or have a strange, food-related death wish. Another raspberry responded to Scaramouch's grunt. "No, 'cause babysitter's get paid." Being an uncle was rough stuff. All teasing aside, the robot approved of the double date! The young woman grinned toothily, pleased by his agreement! "Since Bailey and I are jobless, anytime should work out for us!" Korra would just have to go and let the redhead know first!

    Well, she didn't know about always, but the scatbot hadn't steered her wrong yet! In fact, the things Scaramouch was saying felt right. There was real wisdom in this metal man, even if he was much sillier than Tenzin. "I like spreading my "feelers"," Korra agreed, fingers wriggling to imitate such creepy-crawly appendages. "There are so many new things about this world, why not try things out?" She wasn't one to pigeonhole herself into a box, even if she was a meathead. As for the silly facade, she pursed her lips as she considered the uses for such misdirection. "Hm...sounds like my best friend, Sokka. He's funny, but he's not to be underestimated." Maybe that was why the Water Tribe warrior could be quite the clown? "I'm more direct." She wasn't the only one though, as her companion pointed out the sullen expression on her face and asked what was wrong. It was easy to speak her mind to Scaramouch, the young Avatar opening up rather easily. This metal wingman hadn't given her a reason to distrust him!

    Pessimistic? Maybe, but it was difficult not to be. Jobs were rough stuff! For all these powers Korra held at her fingertips, none of it could help her earn an honest living! Shoulders slumped, she closed her mouth with a soft click of her teeth as Scaramouch continued. Bit by bit, he fanned the flames of her mind. Fanning it with an upbeat attitude and a bit of perspective! Powers or no powers, maybe she didn't need them to inspire others. Maybe she could give people hope by just being... Korra. By sharing her time, giving advice, helping people regain their strength. Because he was right, people didn't need physical therapy just for their vanity or to look good! A smile grew on her face, and the young woman leaned over to wrap her muscled arm around Scaramouch in a hug. "I think my heart likes that idea. Inspiring others and giving people hope...that's what the Avatar does and if I can do it by helping out somewhere like the hospital?" A dark cheek smooshed against his cotton t-shirt, rubbing affectionately. "I couldn't ask for anything better. It beats customer service by a mile!"

    "Y... You can say it, y'know. Sex. Intercourse. Nookie. Hanky-panky. Coitus. Doin' the pip-pip-diddly-doo~!"

    ...You lost her at 'hanky-panky'. Korra pulled her face out of the robot's chest, her arm still around him in a loose hug. She looked up at him, face stretched in a mixture of disgust and confusion. "Doing the what...? That doesn't even sound fun!" What a goober! Scoffing lowly, the Avatar fixed him with a stern little stare. "Fine! If I'm not gonna get in trouble... S-sex. Sex, sex, sex! Nookie! Ssssexual relations!" Only the click of his tongue hastened any more phrases for the mattress mumbo. Cyan eyes continued to squint at the robot, an eyebrow beginning to rise with every word he said. Wait, was he...offended? Why?! Huffing, the young woman leaned into the scatting master of pleasure. "Don't get your boxers in a twist! I only suggested the library because I didn't think you'd wanna answer all the questions I'm gonna have. ...Or Bailey! The both of us might start having some real questions about this sort of thing, can you really handle that? Scary-much knowledge and all? Hm? Hmmm?" Each question was punctuated by a poke to Scaramouch's chest, prodding him for answers!
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    Re: Advice from the Robotic Uncle

    Post by Scaramouche on Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:04 am

    "Elephant's eyebrows?"

    Don't think too hard on it, kid.

    "And isn't stuffin' your face practically the same as suffocatin'~?" Tit-for-tat, spit-for-spat! As far as he knew (and Scaramouche knew plenty), humans didn't have a secondary windpipe. They could chomp on food but not breathe, and they could breathe but not chomp on food! What a ridiculously ineffective way of gathering nourishment. And listen to Korra take a swipe at him! "Hmph~!" The android outright stuck his metal schnoz in the air and sharply looked away. "Yeah, yeah!" he grumbled sourly, arms crossed. "Babysitters get paid and poor uncles don't. You're lucky I don't charge you penniless bums whenever we do take ya out for lunch~!" Honestly, Lunette would never let him. She'd balk at the notion and scold the robot with a wagging finger!

    Anyway, the Avatar's optimism was music to Scaramouche's auditory receptors. "That's the spirit~!" he grinned widely, showing a lot of teeth. Why would a robot need teeth? Well, Korra, if you could really stomach that long and treacherous rabbit hole... "As troublesome as a few things are, you got a bright future ahead of ya. You and Bailey! If ya both can navigate your lives together and overcome all of life's obstacles as a team, I think you'll enjoy a wonderful bond. It's what I wanna have with Lu~!" Sometimes there were to be ups and downs, even heartache, but that was all part of the journey. And wasn't the journey what truly mattered when experiencing life beside the loving presence of a partner? "Pssh~! You ain't kiddin'!" Scaramouche honked (loudly) at Korra's expense but he truly meant no ill. The android was just, well, obnoxious! "And I like what I'm hearin' about this Sokka guy. Every troupe of adventurers needs comedic relief, and who better to brighten yours spirits than a gagman? Humor is food for the soul, kiddo. It's like chicken noodle soup but tastier~!" It should come as no surprise what role Scaramouche filled.

    Here's a freebie: it wasn't the armor-clad hero or (somewhat) useful wizard.

    "I think my heart likes that idea. Inspiring others and giving people hope...that's what the Avatar does and if I can do it by helping out somewhere like the hospital? I couldn't ask for anything better. It beats customer service by a mile!"

    Aw, look at that blossoming smile! True to form, the android starkly grew heated and his grin increasingly crooked. "Y-Yeah, see~?" he stuttered. Physical contact always got the best of him. That went double for genuine affection. Scaramouche cleared his metal throat and regained composure, "You're on the trolley now! Keep your chin and spirits up, kiddo. And remember: no matter how dark or dreary some days are, there will always be sunshine after a storm. You just gotta stay positive and keep on truckin'~!" It worked well enough for him, hadn't it? And soon it will work for Lunette, too! Also, he saw your confusion and disgust, Korra... Nothing escaped these unblinking optics. They were in high-definition~!

    "Oh, and suddenly you know what's fun and what isn't about sex?" the robot huffed. Once again Scaramouche clicked his tongue and gently patted the Avatar's fluffy, clueless head. "Kiddo, kiddo, kiddo..." he muttered. "There is like, soooo much ya gotta learn before ya can even think about steppin' in the ring with ol' Scaramouche. For starters, sex is great~! It's a great way of lettin' off steam, expressin' love, and it feels terrific! ...Oh, not that you would know anythin' about this, though. Hmm~!" Sassy to the bitter end, that Scaramouche. Shameless about it, too. Poke, poke, poke! REEEE, KORRA WAS JAMMING HER MEATY FINGER AGAINST HIS FRAME. With a huff and a puff, the android immediately glared down at the blue-eyed dame with all the intensity and scorn of a provoked owl. "Hey, quit that!" he whined. "You're gonna smudge me up with your oily fingerprints and then I gotta polish! That's pretty time-consumin', y'know!" Scaramouch had conveniently forgotten about the clothes on his back. He didn't, however, ignore the thinly-veiled challenge lacing Korra's words.

    Can he handle that...?

    Can he HANDLE that!?

    A great surge of compressed air furiously escaped the robot's nostrils as he hiked up his boxers and twisted them around his thin waist with provoked gusto. "Well then, kiddo, let's put your skepticism where my mouth is!" Scaramouch harrumphed emphatically. "Ask me a question about this topic - any a question at all - and I'll answer it! Go on, gimme your best shot, squirt! I betcha 10-to-1 you ain't got an inquiry all prepared." No one can out-bluster a fool! No one!
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    Re: Advice from the Robotic Uncle

    Post by Korra on Thu Nov 16, 2017 5:35 pm

    Oh boy... The Avatar had clearly underestimated how difficult it would be to explain the concept of 'eating' to a robot! Korra groaned lowly, slapping her forehead with an open palm. "No, no, you're thinking about it too much! When we stuff our face, we know how much to put in there without suffocating! ...Most of the time, at least." She mumbled the last part out of the corner of her mouth before continuing. "It's supposed to be a saying! Most people don't literally stuff their face unless they're starving." Guess Scaramouche would have to try his hand at being organic before he could really understand the concept of eating. Not that she could blame him, it's not like she really understood how he did his stuff. Did he plug into the wall like a microwave? Or did he drink gasoline? Uncle Mochi's ruffled feathers were showing, sticking his beak in the air and looking away like a pouting brat. The sight elicited a smug smirk from the super-powered woman. "If you really wanna charge us, you could always take us to the tavern to eat! But I imagine you two would rather check out a different restaurant." Who would wanna go eat at their own job? Where's the adventure in that? Despite her amusement, Korra gave the robot a pity pat on his arm. How surprisingly warm his metal skin was!

    It was clear that optimism was Scaramouche's language! Huffy one moment, and now he was all grins. Geez those were a lot of teeth, huh...? Now that she was gawking at them, did she spy a couple of canines? Who gave him such realistic teeth?! Before she could think on that subject for too long, her eyes flickered up to his blazing cyan optics. "Y-yeah! I'd rather be workin' with Bailey than against her. And I think saving up money together would be good practice for us! Useful for problem solving and stuff, right?" Even with what little experience she had in the romance department, Korra knew that relationships worked best when the people involved worked as a team! Frankly, her parents had been good role models in that regard. Grinning back at him just as widely, the Avatar gave him a small wink. "I think you already have that with her!" The two already fit so easily in her mind. If she thought of Lunette, she imagined Scaramouche right alongside the cat woman and the same vice versa. Peas in a pod, a couple that seems to mesh!

    Such obnoxious honking earned him a playful eye-roll, Korra letting that slide as she focused on what else the robot had to say. "Comic relief...?" Brows furrowing, the young woman put on her thinking cap. Thinking of comedy immediately reminded her of Sokka and Bolin. Not that Korra didn't have a funny bone, she actually had a health sense of humor! But humor wasn't the first thing people saw when they looked at her, it was her muscles and can do attitude they'd see. Mako could be really stiff and Asami...she honestly didn't get close enough to see if the woman was 'funny'. Then again, maybe the situation she was in didn't exactly make one very humorous... Each thought drew a pondering purse of her lips until Korra looked as if she might have swallowed a lemon. Only then did the expression drain out of her face with a firm nod. "Okay! I think I see what you mean. Life gets pretty sad if nobody can make you laugh. That's why you're a great uncle!" She made a face, scrunching up with a ladylike snort. "My real uncle wasn't funny at all!" Scaramouche's metal skin heated up in response to her hug, and she gave him a small squeeze. As long as he didn't burn her skin, she didn't mind the temperature! He still used phrases she never heard of, but it didn't take the wind out of her sails. "Until the sunshine comes, at least I've got great people like you guys and Bailey to be my umbrella!" She returned his crooked smile with one of her own. Hey, if they were going down this road of metaphors, might as well go the whole way!

    Just as things were getting fluffy and sweet, of course things had to settle back to a simmer as Scaramouche became huffy once again. She really didn't understand why! ...Then again, there was apparently a lot she didn't know. Such as, "Well, no--I don't know what's fun or not about it!" Korra protested with a frown that only deepened with each doting pat. Bright blues rolling, she let out a huff of her own! "Yeah, you really got me there! I was keeping it a total secret." Despite her own sass, she couldn't stop the blush from rising to her cheeks even as Uncle Mochi's irritation hit 9000! If she thought his feathers were ruffled before... She withdrew the offensive finger, still holding it upright as if she were pointing at the ceiling. "Okay, okay! Suh-rry! Didn't realize I'd leave fingerprints..." She didn't even think to point out the tank top!

    "Well then, kiddo, let's put your skepticism where my mouth is! Ask me a question about this topic - any a question at all - and I'll answer it! Go on, gimme your best shot, squirt! I betcha 10-to-1 you ain't got an inquiry all prepared."

    Was that a challenge? Was this boxer hiking, ruffled feathers, butt-blistered fool challenging her? The Avatar? To ask him a question?! Related to sexual relations?! ...No really, how did the situation get this out of control? Still, Korra puffed out her chest and jutted her chin out like a rooster about to throw down. She wasn't about to back down from a challenge!

    ...

    Right after she thought up a question. After a whopping twenty seconds of silence, Korra's eyes widened with a sharp gasp. "Bubs!" It burst out of her like a compulsion, the young woman planting a hand over her mouth as if she'd used a dirty word. No! No shame, Korra! Sucking a deep breath through her teeth, the hand fell from her face as she stared back at Scaramouch confidently. "I-I mean...boobs! Boobs. What do I do...with boobs?" Nailed it.

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