Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Moving on Up

    Share
    avatar
    Scaramouche
    Gigabyte

    Gigabyte

    Posts : 124
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Location : Anywhere the wind blows
    Level : 1

    Character Sheet
    Defense Bar:
    0/0  (0/0)
    Health Bar:
    60/60  (60/60)
    Stamina Bar:
    11/11  (11/11)

    Moving on Up

    Post by Scaramouche on Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:54 pm

    Time: 09:30:00
    Date: 6.6.08



    This was it.

    This was the big day!

    "I can't wait, I can't waaaaait~! I'm excited! Are you excited~? Huh, are ya? Honk, honk, honk~!"

    Honk, honk, honk!

    All around the beaming android was a cacophonous maelstrom of flapping wings, eager beaks, and wiggling tail feathers. There must have been a handful - no, at least a dozen - of the noisy blighters swarming his ankles, and the squirming mass of feathery waterfowl sang and danced with every sprinkle of feed. On today's menu, oats and grapes! That's right, you lil' honkers... worship your new metal god, mwahaha! "Tch, tch, tch!" Scaramouch clicked his tongue at the relentless swarm with a bright, toothy grin. "Easy, easy~! There's plenty of this stuff for all of ya, alright? Hey, Abigail! Get your chompers off poor Amelia; any plumper, and you're gonna end up on someone's dinner plate!" He... may or may not have already named all the local geese. But hey, might as well, right? They were gonna be neighbors, after all~! Golly, being neighbors with all the geese... The irony wasn't lost on the robot. Optics glanced off the chatty gaggle and admired the serene background of Portal City's park. Man, just look at this view...

    The rolling green, green knolls... All the trees and their quaking leaves as a gentle breeze fluttered on by... The glittering ponds, the idle chatter of passers-by, the general ambiance of unhurried time, just... everything. And yes, everything included even the geese. Another sprinkle of feed soothed the ravenous horde, though a few of the more satisfied regulars had began waddling off to their nests and reedy homes. He didn't mind, though. These birds were already as fat as they came!

    Honk!

    Hm?

    Optics zoomed backed into focus just in time to spot a certain feathery friend hop onto the park bench beside him. "Aw, it's nice to see ya again, Odette." A Black Brant goose, Odette wasn't as majestic-looking as the Canadian geese nor as recognizable as her Emden brethren. Small, unimposing and with a rather stubby bill, she was largely unremarkable. Odette possessed a quality that set her above the rest, however. Servos whined and groaned as the robot gently placed the goose upon his lap. She wasn't ornery. Metal fingers stroked her neck feathers gingerly. "Didn't feel up to migratin', huh? I don't blame ya; it's nice where you're at." Odette simply fluffed her breast and eased into the robot's touch. It was a shame... Brant geese were more northerly than most breeds, but Odette never seemed able to make the flight home. She always lingered about the city ponds and kept to herself. Poor thing... Maybe she was sick, or injured? Whatever the reason, Scaramouch smiled and rubbed the underside of her bill with a thumb. She gave the goose equivalent of a sneeze. "Fear not, babe! I'mma be your new neighbor if today's appointment with the realtor works out. You can stop by whenever and honk at me to death, 'kay? Oh, and speakin' of that..."

    The quartz-crystal in his head, now correctly tuned thanks to Jo and her employee, accurately displayed the current time. A frown soon replaced Scaramouch's grin as he looked off into the distance. "Hmm..." His optics zoomed to the collection of brick buildings across the way, perhaps a good several hundred feet from where the android sat. "It's 09:30, which is the time of my appointment, but I don't see anyone standin' around..." Indeed, there wasn't. Aside from the random assortment of citizens going about their business, nothing really screamed real estate agent to him. No sharply-dressed suits, no well-groomed hair, no briefcase...

    "Eh..." The android shrugged and reclined against his seat. "I'll give it a few more minutes before anklin' on over," Scaramouch decided, giving Odette a soft squeeze. A pleasant coo filled his auditory sensors. "If there's no one there by then, I'll ring 'em up and see what the dealio is."

    Man... getting stiffed on something so piddly as a realty appointment. That's a new one.
    avatar
    Scaramouche
    Gigabyte

    Gigabyte

    Posts : 124
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Location : Anywhere the wind blows
    Level : 1

    Character Sheet
    Defense Bar:
    0/0  (0/0)
    Health Bar:
    60/60  (60/60)
    Stamina Bar:
    11/11  (11/11)

    Re: Moving on Up

    Post by Scaramouche on Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:56 pm

    09:31... 09:32... 09:33... By the time 09:40 rolled around and there still wasn't hair nor hide of this so-called real estate agent, Scaramouch was beginning to feel a little - just a little bit - peeved. "Okay, this is a load of applesauce," he huffed, grumbling. "I don't know what this guy's deal is, but I ain't exactly groovy with it, ya feel me, Odette?" The goose merely studied him with those big, unwavering eyes. "Yeah, you feel me." Ugh... looks like it's time to mosey across the street and see what the hold up was, if anything. If the android so much as got stood up... Eh, best not to think about it. He stood up with a click of his ruby heels and streeeeetched, the plates alongside his back audibly shifting. "Oof, I'm gettin' old...!" Scaramouch griped. And fooling around with a dame whose weight shifted from bearable to crushing wasn't doing him any favors, either. Oh well! Death by Snu-Snu wasn't a bad way to go.

    He shrugged with a tiny smile and set Odette down. "Well, it was fun hangin' out with ya, babe, but this is where we part ways. You stay out of trouble, 'kay?" She honked once, her tail feathers wiggling. "...Huh? No, ya can't come with me. You gotta stay here - like a good goose! We'll see each other again, promise." But if Scaramouch thought that would be the end of it...

    Click...! Click...! Click...!

    Wap, wap, wap!

    Suffice to say, the robot had another thing coming to him. Puzzled, he glanced over a shoulder and observed a (very) stubborn Odette trailing after him. "...Babe, no. What did I just say!?" It didn't matter what he said; Odette did what Odette wanted, like all geese, and this waterfowl desired nothing more than to go with the android. She waddled up to Scaramouch's heels with a defiant honk, peering up, and he reacted to her bold antics with a curt grunt. The nerve! "Hmph... Odette, you are a goose. Ya can't come with me to my realty appointment! What're ya gonna do, haggle 'em down with a mean glare and a hiss? Stay here. You belong out in nature with other geese and stuff! Now, I'm gonna turn around and keep walkin', and you better not take another step forward, capisce?"

    Honk!

    Eh, he'll take that as a 'yes'. Those ruby heels once again resumed their elegant strutting down the pathway.

    Click...! Click...! Click...!

    ...
    ......
    .........

    Wap... wap, wap, wap!

    But so did a certain goose's.

    "Odette!" Sigh...

    Here she came, waddling in all her pigheaded glory as the small goose came sidling up to the robot's heels. This time Odette was smart, however. This time she wedged herself between his feet and promptly sat her feathery butt on Scaramouch's boots as if to make a statement. "..." Honk! Why you lil' - ! An exasperated sigh escaped him. "...I can see why ya never migrated with the rest of your friends; you're as dense as a rock!" And probably too feeble, but that was no excuse. Cyan diodes narrowed and flitted to the busy boulevard up ahead. Ick, so many cars, trucks, and so forth... An ignorant goose walking across the street might as well be like a turtle with a death wish! The android's lips screwed themselves into a pout. "Y'know, I should just let ya learn the hard way and get a crash course..." It's what Mother Nature would want, after all. "...but then I'd feel bad for lettin' ya get turned into a lil' goosey paste." Kev. This was Kev's fault. Defeated (and by something so pathetic as a tiny goose), Scaramouch knew when he was beat.

    He scooped Odette into his arms, careful, and gave the insolent waterfowl a tender squeeze. "You pain in my neck~!" the robot grinned. Yes, victory swam in Odette's eyes. Or, um... perhaps sleep? It was hard to tell since she was a goose and all. "Okay, now let's ankle on over and see what's goin' on," Scaramouch remarked, nodding to himself.

    Together, both android and goose waited for the light to turn red before crossing the intersection.
    avatar
    Scaramouche
    Gigabyte

    Gigabyte

    Posts : 124
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Location : Anywhere the wind blows
    Level : 1

    Character Sheet
    Defense Bar:
    0/0  (0/0)
    Health Bar:
    60/60  (60/60)
    Stamina Bar:
    11/11  (11/11)

    Re: Moving on Up

    Post by Scaramouche on Thu Jun 08, 2017 11:09 pm

    Well, there was good news and there was bad news.

    The good news was: hooray, they hadn't gotten into any trouble on the way over! No car accidents, no getting mugged, no baby grand piano falling out of the sky, etc. All in all, a pleasant experience. 10/10, would walk again. Now for the bad news: the realtor still wasn't here!

    "...Really!?" Yeah, no. Scaramouch was miffed. The robot stood in front of their supposed meeting place, an old school building, and wasn't the happiest camper around. "I cannot believe this prick!" Seriously, he couldn't. "I go through all that trouble to set up an appointment with the schmuck, arrive early and on time, and this moron doesn't even have the pair to call? Hmph! Someone's gettin' a one-star review on their website after this." Honk! "...Huh? Oh, yeah, guess I could call 'em up, huh?" That would be a good idea. Smart thinking, Odette. Mechanical bits and bobs in Scaramouch's aluminum dome got to work as he made the call, a dial tone ringing.

    Waiting... Waiting... Still no answer... Waiting...

    An impatient foot tapped anxiously on the sidewalk. "C'mon, c'mon... Pick up, ya stupid bas - ?"

    Ring, ring...! Ring, ring...!

    Click!

    "H-Hello...?"

    ...????

    Both robot and goose looked at each other, astonished. Ruh-oh! Sounds like the realtor was here all along, and now the plot thickens... Irritation simmered into a bubbling anger. "That DOES IT!" It wasn't an everyday occurrence for Scaramouch to get riled up, but when he was... Ruby heels stormed - not sashayed, stormed - a few paces to the left, forced open a door with one hardy kick, and into the building the android went, teeth bared. All the unruly commotion earned a startled squawk out of Odette, her feathers ruffling. "Alright!" he barked, striking an intimidating pose, arms and legs shoulder-width apart. "Who's the bimbo futzin' around with me, huh? HUH!? Show yourself, ya coward, so I can shove my boot up your worthless, good for nothin' ass!" When it came to wasting his own time, Scaramouch might as well be an Olympic champion. But when it came to someone else wasting his time, well... Need there be more of an explanation?

    Much to his worsening chagrin, nobody answered. It was expected, really; flies always did prefer honey over vinegar. Nevertheless, the robot's sensors went on a full sweep, his squinty-eyed optics meticulously scanning the foyer from top to bottom. There wasn't much that stood out from the ordinary, but there were telling signs of someone having very recently eaten lunch... A half-eaten sandwich lay on the stairwell's steps, as did an insulated coffee cup.

    A warm, insulated coffee cup. Wisps of steam could be seen wafting through the lid. "Mhm..." Without another word, the robot had already figured it out. Ruby heels furiously clicked toward the stairwell, a metal hand outstretched.

    "C'mere!"

    "EEP!"

    From out behind the stairwell was wrested a wimp of a man, the android snaking his metal fingers around the idiot's neck with striking ease. Oh, and crushing. Can't forget the crushing. "Gotcha, ya lil' - !" Scaramouch didn't alike himself to that of a lowly thug, but he wasn't above shoving his captive against a nearby wall and hoisting the man up by the collar of his dress shirt. The fool's polished shoes dangled helplessly a few inches off the ground. "What's the big idea, wise guy!?" See that dagger situated ominously on this belt? Yeah, this dagger wasn't just for show. Flesh wrinkled beneath the robot's tightening grip, fingers digging into the man's supple neck. It'd be a shame if something were to snap. "You think it's funny holdin' someone up? Huh?! Do ya!? I'll have ya know that I'm an assassin, babe! If I so much wanted, you'd be dead within two shakes of a lamb's tail!" And lambs shook their tails very fast, he'll have the man know.

    The man's name might as well have been Snively. "P-Please don't kill meeeee!" he cried, snot dribbling down his nose. Oh boy, one of those... He kicked and he sobbed, limply gripping his captor's plated wrist. "I d-didn't want this job, r-really! M-My stupid uncle thought I s-should get off my worthless butt and d-d-do something with my life, honest!"

    Wha...?

    Honk!

    Anger quickly devolved into confusion, Odette honking a second time. "Um... right." Scaramouch didn't need to be told twice. He abruptly dropped the man and took a step back, irritated but curious. "...Eh, I ain't gonna off ya," the robot mumbled. Tempting, but no. He instead reached into his pea coat and withdrew a business card, optics looking it over. "Are you Nick Baginski, real estate agent?" Boy, it was gonna be super awkward if the guy wasn't!

    Frightened blue eyes peered through shaky fingers. "U-Um... yes?" he squeaked.

    Oh good, so it was the right dummy.

    "Great~!" Scaramouch couldn't help but flash a smile; hey, the robot was relieved, okay? Finding this bozo had been an absolute slog. "Sorry for roughin' ya up, there, Nicky, baby, but I'm Scaramouch! Y'know, the guy over the 'net? I made an appointment with ya earlier durin' the week. You, um... didn't forget, didja? 'Cause, like, you seemed busy eatin' lunch, so..." Not terribly professional of a guy wearing a hand-me-down suit.

    Nick just squeaked, and squeaked, and squeaked. "I d-didn't forget!" he stammered, trembling like a leaf. "I told y-you - I didn't w-want this stupid job! My uncle forced me! I was h-hoping you wouldn't find me and just t-t-took off!"

    ...?

    Aaaaand right back to confusion, no anger mixed in. "Wha...?" That didn't make a lick of sense! Ugh, organics... Guess it was time to drive a healthy dose of logic home. Yay... "L-Look, Nicky, babe," the android began, "Uncle or not, this is your name on the card, correct?"

    "C-Correct."

    "And you are a real estate agent, is that also correct?"

    "T-That is also correct, y-yes."

    "Okay, so, seein' that you are Nick Baginski, and that Nick Baginski is a real estate agent, that means you, Nick Baginski, are technically responsible for whatever duties are assumed by your title of real estate agent. Followin' me so far, babe?"

    Nick just whined, and whined, and whined. "Y-Yes...!"

    "Good~!" The robot's grin quickly soured and he looked at the man with a disgruntled squint. "...It ain't good business for the real estate agent to be late to his own appointment with the client." Scaramouch couldn't have used more implications in that sentence if he tried.

    "I-I know..."

    A quiet settled between them.

    A quiet, before - "U-Um, I hate to a-ask, but... is that a goose in your arm?"

    Hearing that, the robot's metal lips quirked into a cheeky, lopsided grin. "No, it's a Chinese cat; very exotic, very fierce."

    Odette loudly honked in protest. A cat!? The gall!
    avatar
    Scaramouche
    Gigabyte

    Gigabyte

    Posts : 124
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Location : Anywhere the wind blows
    Level : 1

    Character Sheet
    Defense Bar:
    0/0  (0/0)
    Health Bar:
    60/60  (60/60)
    Stamina Bar:
    11/11  (11/11)

    Re: Moving on Up

    Post by Scaramouche on Fri Jun 09, 2017 3:02 am

    Ding!

    "O-Okay, so, here is the hallway."

    After a bit of coaxing (and believe him, there was a lot of coaxing), both organic and android - honk - and waterfowl stepped out of the building elevator and into a thin, narrow hallway with yellow lighting and old, old architecture. The molding was worn and fraying, the doors alone were undoubtedly pieces of history, and the light fixtures themselves screamed for electrical repairs. Even the air itself had an undercurrent of lingering must. All in all, Scaramouch quickly found himself a fan; he had always fancied buildings that were throwbacks to ancient, simpler times. "Hmm!" Cyan diodes finished scanning the walls for health violations before fixating on Nick's back. "And what year was this building made?"

    The realtor gave a halfhearted shrug. "Circa 1910s...?" Eh, that was probably as good as Nick was gonna give, so the robot didn't fuss. He simply nodded to himself and studied the tiling beneath his heels. "It has six stories, twenty-four units - came all the way from New York City, you know," the fidgety man added. "There's a nightclub on the first level, a couple of offices on the second and third, and the last three stories are purely lofts."

    Oof, sounded pretty lively. Maybe too lively.

    "And the listing I'm interested in...?" Scaramouch knew it was the sixth story, but it never hurt to be certain of the minor details. Those tended to backfire big time if left unchecked. Nick fortunately assuaged the robot's fears.

    "Yep, sixth story," he bobbed his head. That was... probably a nod, right? "It's also, um, a corner unit. You don't mind having that, right? N-Not all tenants like corner lots; too much sun, not enough sun, too drafty, too stuffy, etc. It's a real perk if you want privacy, though. Corner lots aren't as prone to nosy neighbors or elevator noise, so. Oh! A-And better views. My uncle really hammered that into me." Huh! Despite ol' Nick being as twitchy as a tweaker and generally flaky, the android was liking what the little guy divulged more and more. "Also, since this is the sixth floor and the highest - save for the roof, h-ha ha - you wouldn't have to worry about people stomping loudly above you. I mean, it's almost like those folks are paid to drag their feet all night, am I right?" And that... was probably Nick's attempt at a joke.

    Not wanting to suffer yet another awkward moment with the man (the elevator had been bad enough), Scaramouch humored Nick with a synthesized laugh. The pity in his melodious voice was very, very subtle. "Hon, hon~! Good thing there ain't nothin' above but pigeons and handymen, huh~?"

    "Right!?"

    Oh god, they couldn't reach the unit fast enough.

    But, sure enough, they did (a-freakin'-men) and Nick stopped at a lone doorway down the end of the hall, fumbling in his pockets for the keys. Optics immediately noticed the golden numbers plastered on the wood. "Huh, Unit #69..." Now, the android normally would have cracked a raunchy joke for shock value, but something told Scaramouch that Nick would -

    "Ha ha, y-yeah... Good ol' #69." Welp, that wasn't hard to figure. After ten long seconds of patting himself up and down, Nick finally produced a heavy keyring, swamped to the brim with keys, and wiped his sweaty brow. "It's a-an unfortunate number, I know. B-But it's just a number, you know? Sure, the mailman is gonna laugh at you, o-or whoever buys this place, but joke's on him; the view is just killer."

    Why...

    Scaramouch bit his tongue to keep from quipping. The goose, meanwhile, hadn't the foggiest idea of what was happening; Odette simply enjoyed things as they were and kept peacefully mum.

    Clnk, clnk, cl - Click!

    Nick managed a crooked, though not too confident smile. "Ha, open sesame! G-Get it? Open...? Um, yeah... right, I-I'll just... let us both in." God bless Nick's uncle, because boy, this guy was just a nervous wreck waiting to happen. With an anxious shuffle, the realtor shoved a shoulder into the heavy door and stepped inside, meekly gesturing for the robot and waterfowl to follow. "W-Well, come on inside. I'll show you, uh, around, I guess." Neither Scaramouch nor Odette were very certain of Nick's capabilities, but... well, they were here now! They furtively glanced at each other and seemingly disappeared into the ether together, the door shutting quietly behind them.
    avatar
    Scaramouche
    Gigabyte

    Gigabyte

    Posts : 124
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Location : Anywhere the wind blows
    Level : 1

    Character Sheet
    Defense Bar:
    0/0  (0/0)
    Health Bar:
    60/60  (60/60)
    Stamina Bar:
    11/11  (11/11)

    Re: Moving on Up

    Post by Scaramouche on Fri Jun 09, 2017 4:28 am

    "And heeeere, as you can see, is an open concept foyer that immediately leads itself into the living room and kitchen."

    The first step.

    The first step, and already the robot was floored.

    Wide windows, lots of light, a spectacular view of the park below; hot diggity dog! This living room was exactly the kind of thing Scaramouch was looking for! And that's not all, either. No sooner had his optics fell in love with this side of the apartment, there was still yet another side off to his right that needed equal oogling. Oh man, did the living room extend even further, complete with an open concept kitchen and more gorgeous eye candy of the park below!? "Wowie-wow-zow, babe! This place is the freakin' cat's meow!" There were no words. No words to describe how he felt. Honk! Odette knew, though, and she immediately wanted to be set loose. "Alright, alright~!" laughed the android. He obliged the goose's request and gently lowered Odette to the hardwood floor, happily watching her waddle off. "Aw, look at her... I think she likes this layout too!"

    Nick, however... Well, suffice to say, Nick wasn't certain about a wild animal left to freely wander one of his uncle's properties. "U-Um, is the duck...?"

    Scaramouch huffed, pivoting sharply upon his heels with hands resting upon his metal hips. "Goose," he corrected, holding up a finger. "And I dunno if she's house trained, but she ain't a complete animal~! Also, this is a sweet, sweet setup ya got here, babe! You've been sittin' on a gold mine!" Which honestly begged the question of why this corner lot hadn't been sold... Hmm, the robot was going to figure out why in a moment, but right now Scaramouch was far too busy enjoying the ambiance. "I absolutely dig the plentiful lightin', too. It's great for a positive vibe~!" And would you just look at these ventilation shafts!? The aesthetic was far out! Pleased, the robot couldn't help but strut over to Nick and rest a friendly arm around the man's shoulders, drawing the latter close. Fans whirred as metal plating heated up. "Y'know, Nick... if I wasn't in a committed relationship and on business, I could just kiss ya~!" Sorry, Nicky, babe, but you were also pretty greasy, too. Not prime necking material!

    Which was all fine and dandy, because the realtor instantly shrunk and made himself appear very small. "P-Please don't... Physical c-contact makes me n-n-nervous." Obviously, but the android minded his manners and happily removed the arm around Nick's torso.

    "You're missin' ooooout~!" he teased in obnoxious sing-song.

    "M-Mm..."

    Forever alone, that Nick. Forever alone...

    Anyway, back to talking shop! Scaramouch clapped his hands together with a loud, metallic ring; poor Nick, meanwhile, jumped in his shoes. "Okay, babe!" he eyed the little guy, grin split from auditory sensor to auditory sensor. "Let's skip beatin' our gums and get right to the nitty gritty. I obviously like what I see, so sell me on some of this room's features. Entice me, baby, entice~!" Easier said than done...

    Put on the spot, Nick weakly shrugged and Scaramouch felt his elated mood withering. "Um... it's got a great view...?"

    "That's it," remarked the android, tone empty. "That is seriously the best you can do. Oh no, no, no, babe~! Nicky, baby! C'mooooon, surely you can spice things up a lil', can't ya? You can't sell a place and think to impress a possible tenant with just a great view. You gotta wine 'em, dine 'em, serenade 'em~!" And guess what Scaramouch liked out of all three? But still Nick refused to play along, further chafing the robot's metal frame.

    "I-I don't... know?"

    Pffft!

    Scaramouch simply rolled his optics, unmoved. "Oh brother..." he griped. Shaking his head and tutting, the robot wagged a finger before Nick's face. "Babe. Babe," he smiled, canines apparent. "Let's start with the basics - like this swanky hardwood floor. Listen~!" With a playful - rappa-tap-tappa - of his heels and a flamboyant spin to match, Scaramouch marveled at the echo his boots produced. "Just listen to that copacetic sound, baby! This place has killer acoustics~! Oh, she's gonna like that..." He didn't let Nick ask a single question on purpose. "And the lighting!" continued the android, throwing up his arms excitedly. "Check out all this solar power, Nicky, babe. It's just perfect for spontaneous catnaps!" But probably a little too stifling in the summer, hm... Scaramouch calmed himself down enough to think and pensively rub his chin. "Hmm, I hope this place also has decent heatin' and coolin', because it just won't groove to freeze durin' a cold winter night or suffer a heatstroke durin' a hot summer day..."

    This is where Nick proved himself useful. Shocker~! "U-Um, well..." He swallowed, tugging on his dress shirt's collar. "This place has a fully renovated and operational heating and cooling system, s-so it won't freeze during a cold winter night or cause heatstrokes during a hot summer day. T-Trust me, my uncle didn't skimp out on the u-utilities. Nightclub on the first level, r-remember?"

    Smart man, Nick's uncle~! It's too bad about Nick, though... Ah well, can't have everything.

    The android lightly fanned the thought aside and resumed grinning, optics squinted. "Right, right~!" he sang, head bobbing side-to-side. "Now, seein' how you ain't comfortable in your own suit yet, lemme guide you along, 'kay? Tell me about the kitchen."

    "U-Um... it's a kiiiitcheeeen?"

    Oh boy...



    ((OOC Note: the images above, and those in future posts, are for layout purposes only; there is no furnishing in the loft.))
    avatar
    Scaramouche
    Gigabyte

    Gigabyte

    Posts : 124
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Location : Anywhere the wind blows
    Level : 1

    Character Sheet
    Defense Bar:
    0/0  (0/0)
    Health Bar:
    60/60  (60/60)
    Stamina Bar:
    11/11  (11/11)

    Re: Moving on Up

    Post by Scaramouche on Fri Jun 09, 2017 2:21 pm

    "N-No offense to you or anything, b-but... why does a cyborg need a kitchen?"

    Organics just say the darnedest things, don't they? For the umpteenth time during this past hour, Scaramouch minded his manners; he'd be a liar if he said it wasn't increasingly difficult to do so, however. Slowly, the android's optics leveled with Nick's. "First of all," and this was important, so pay attention, Nicky, babe, "the correct term of my particular make would be android; cyborgs are organics who have biomechatronic prostheses. Comparin' the two is like sayin' apples are oranges." Why... Why do people always confuse robots for cyborgs? It was a huge pet peeve! He blamed science fiction movies. "And secondly, I don't - but it ain't gonna be for me, ya dig? I plan on usin' it for guests, friends, etc." Actually, Scaramouch himself wouldn't be using the kitchen at all, but when a great portion of Portal Breach's populace was heavily organic in nature... a kitchen wasn't a bad thing to have.

    The answer was good enough for Nick. It better be. "O-Oh..." The realtor bobbed his head weakly, hands fidgeting. "R-Right, apples to, u-um, oranges." Another awkward pause. This was something of a recurring theme with the guy. "...H-How about I show you the office, huh?" What a positively marvelous idea, Nicky, babe~!

    For the most part, the loft's office was fairly run-of-the-mill.

    It was a sizeable enough space with plenty of head and legroom (very important, considering Scaramouch's towering height), and the continued view of the park was a selling point alone. There wasn't much use for an office, though, and Nick was keen on figuring out why. "S-So, um... being that you're a cy - "

    "Android."

    Android, android, android. For the love of God, android!

    "R-Right, android, sorry. Um... being that you're an android and all," much better, "y-you probably already have, like, Microsoft Office and stuff downloaded into your head, right? I mean, what, you're p-probably your own personal computer, so." Whew, Nick! Asking all the tough questions so no one else had to.

    If Scaramouch would have physically scrunched his nose if he could. "Okay, I dunno if you're aware of this, babe, but do I look like freakin' Office Depot here? Oh sure, lemme just pull out my built-in printer and fax machine." No, he didn't have 'Microsoft Office and stuff' downloaded into his head! What kind of a dumb ass statement was that!? What does Nick think he is, the car of the future? That was K.A.R.R.! Who was very fancy for having been developed and built in the 80's, by the way. That paneling was just exceptional. Anyway... Social faux pas aside, the robot understood where Nick was coming from - begrudgingly. "Sure, I'm like my own personal computer," Scaramouch openly sighed. "So yes, I wouldn't be usin' this as office space. If anythin', it'll probably be an entertainment center or somethin'. Maybe a place to sit back, relax, and play music."

    The admission was a big mistake.

    "O-Oh, you play an instrument? I u-used to play the recorder in third grade."

    "..."

    Nick was just the gift that kept on giving even if he really shouldn't. Like, really shouldn't. "Nick, babe. Just... Just show me the balcony, 'kay? Just show me the balcony." Patience...! Dwindling...! Send help! Urge to maim... rising!

    There would fortunately be no mercy killing today, because the jumpy realtor got the memo and hurriedly shuffled past his squinty-eyed client. "B-Balcony, got it! Showing you t-the, um..." With another fumble of his hands and nearly tripping over his own feet, Nick pushed aside the sliding glass door and stepped outside. "O-One balcony shown!" he stammered.

    As with everything else so far, the balcony was nothing short of spectacular. "Oooh~!" The trees... The trails... The waterways and ponds... That beautiful, beautiful city skyline! Can you just imagine the sunrises and sunsets? How romantic~! There was even enough room to make a little balcony garden, too! This right here? Yeah, this right here was enough for Scaramouch to fork over all his hard-earned savings - except a special, little fund he was accruing off on the side. In fact... "Sold!" exclaimed the robot with a wide, toothy smile. "How much do I owe ya?" He literally, absolutely, positively, 100% did not need to see anything else; Scaramouch was easy to please that way. Which... must have been very confusing for poor Nick, admittedly.

    "D-Don't you wanna see the master bedroom...?"

    "Nope~!"

    "W-What about the master bathroom?"

    "I'm sure it's nice~!"

    "The laundry room?"

    "Nick..."

    "Not even the walk-in closet?"

    "Nick, what did I just - wait... didja say walk-in closet?"

    Curses! The awkwardness continues.
    avatar
    Scaramouche
    Gigabyte

    Gigabyte

    Posts : 124
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Location : Anywhere the wind blows
    Level : 1

    Character Sheet
    Defense Bar:
    0/0  (0/0)
    Health Bar:
    60/60  (60/60)
    Stamina Bar:
    11/11  (11/11)

    Re: Moving on Up

    Post by Scaramouche on Fri Jun 09, 2017 4:53 pm

    "Viola! The m-master bathroom."

    "...I thought you were gonna show me the walk-in closet, babe?"

    "W-Well yes, but the bathroom is technically before the c-closet, so..."

    Admittedly, the master bathroom was fairly decent. It was open, airy, modern and new... but it was a bathroom, and robots didn't need bathrooms. Scaramouch stepped inside, ducking beneath the doorway, and slightly hunched to keep from brushing his head against the ceiling. "It's, um... a bathroom~!" Like, seriously, what was he supposed to say? Nice toilet...? Great vanity...? What? "N-Nick...? On the level, I'm... I'm an android, babe. In case you haven't noticed, I don't really need to use anythin' in here. Why are you showin' me this?" Call him stupid, call him ignorant; whatever he was, Scaramouch could honestly go about his life with never stepping another foot in here. It just... It just wasn't something he'd futz around with!

    But Nick was nimble, Nick was quick. He timidly sneaked a glance through the corner of his droopy eyes and wore a tiny, half-quirked smile. "For her." ...Oh. Oh, so now Nick thought he was a wiseguy, huh? Alright, cool. That means he gets the wiseguy treatment.

    "Mmmm..."

    Hear that, Nick? That was the sound of synthesized displeasure. Metal fingers reached over and firmly tugged on the realtor's ear. Yank, yank, yank! "Very funny, wise ass," Scaramouch grumbled, "but now that you've so tactfully reminded me, I think I might have a use for this bathroom after all." Funny how things work out. "How tall are you?" the android demanded. In case Nick got any more wise ideas, those fingers continued to twist and twist. Twiiiiiist.

    "OW, OW, OW! I'm 5'6", I'm 5'6"...!" he whined, leaning into the robot's coercive touch with a pained grimace. Pfft, what a wimp... But 5'6", huh? Hmm, that actually might work...

    Scaramouch relieved Nick of his torment, but he wasn't done. A firm hand clasped itself around the man's neck and roughly shoved him forward. "Doable, now get in the tub." The request naturally earned a confused, if not terrified stare out of Nick. "Did I stutter? I said get, in, the, tub."

    A series of forceful whacks against the realtor's back got the job done, though Nick didn't go along happily. Or quietly. "H-Hey, hey, what's the big idea...!?" God, the petulance in his voice. Nick's back-talk earned another whack for good measure, this time via a sturdy boot to the man's ass. "HEY, WATCH IT!" He quickly hopped into the tub and turned around, huddling with a shiver. "O-Okay, I'm in the stupid tub, s-sheesh! What do you want from me!?" A very good question.

    Emitting a pensive hum from his metallic throat, the robot crossed his arms and began appraising Nick's proportions to the bathtub and shower. It was time for fancy, robot maths. Incredibly serious stuff. "Hmm..." Well, it seemed like there was plenty of room, but... Scaramouch twirled a finger. "Can ya, like, turn around for me? Just one revolution'll do."

    Nick probably thought he was gonna die in a horrible manner. "Wh-What are you, some kind of F-FREAK!?" he squeaked.

    Exasperated gesturing followed. "BZZZZ! Damn it, babe, just turn around!"

    After one incredibly reluctant spin out of Nick, Scaramouch had his measurements. He huffed, indifferent to the man's lackluster performance. "Eh, that'll do, that'll do..." the robot limply signaled for Nick to stop. "You coulda put more oomph into it, but it's hard soaring with eagles when all you've got is a turkey." And that was frankly being generous. Cyan optics hardly flinched at the realtor's simmering glare - it was tepid, at best. Now then, what else... After a few seconds of intensely locking eyes, an idea dawned upon the android. Nick wasn't gonna like it, but oh well~! "Okay, now lay down."

    "...What!?"

    Nope, he didn't like it.

    "What are ya, deaf!? I said lay down!"

    This is where the realtor thought himself ballsy. "S-Screw you!" he shouted. "I ain't doing that for your sick, twisted fantasies! I-I'm gonna call the police!" How cute.

    The robot had other ideas. "Aw, you're gonna call the police~?" Scaramouch mocked, cooing. He descended upon the trembling milquetoast like lightning, fingers snatching Nick by the back of his neck. That's right, yelp, you lil' pissant! "Go ahead, call the police, babe," he growled, grip tightening. "Call 'em and see what happens, I dare ya. I double-dog dare ya, but your sorry butt is layin' down in that tub and you're gonna like it." One unpleasant nudge was all it took for Nick to fall down and curl up - and yes, he was whimpering. What else? Scaramouch didn't expect anything new by this point. Now that the android had Nick right where he wanted him, ruby heels stepped into the tub, dainty, and soon the two began to spoon. That's right, spooning. But it was innocent, trust him. Scaramouch just needed some calculations!

    "P-Please don't kiiiiiiill meeeeeeee...!" Sob, sob, sob.

    "Oh hush. If I wanted to off ya, you'd already be cat food. Now just be quiet and lemme think, alright? Jeez Louise..."

    Mechanical bits clicked and whirred as the android processed everything about their positioning, heat coursing through his metal plates. Hmm... well, the bathtub seemed spacious enough. Not too big, not too small... He didn't exactly fit, but that was also the point. All in all, the fixture was given his approval and he almost - almost - felt like taking a light nap right then and there. Such was the alluring power of cute, fluffy thoughts. Alas! Fate would yet again prove itself a cruel, cruel mistress.

    Nick, as precious as he was, meekly glanced over his shoulder. Maybe, if the robot was lucky, the realtor wouldn't say anything weird. Hah! That was a laugh and a half. "W-Wow, um... you're very, very warm. It's kinda... n-nice?"

    Okay, never mind. Things were right back to awkward. Scaramouch cracked open an optic and pressed his lips into a thin line. "...Nope, the moment is lost. Thanks, babe." No more cute, fluffy thoughts. There was only Nick. The android wasted no time in getting up and stepping out of the bathtub, ruby heels strutting away and hips sashaying. "Your uncle is a saint, y'know that? A freakin' saint, babe!"

    "I-I know a-and, um... I liked our h-hug!"

    God.
    avatar
    Scaramouche
    Gigabyte

    Gigabyte

    Posts : 124
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Location : Anywhere the wind blows
    Level : 1

    Character Sheet
    Defense Bar:
    0/0  (0/0)
    Health Bar:
    60/60  (60/60)
    Stamina Bar:
    11/11  (11/11)

    Re: Moving on Up

    Post by Scaramouche on Fri Jun 09, 2017 9:22 pm

    Honk!

    "Oh g-god, the freaking duck!"

    "Goose."

    It was a long journey (and an even greater trial of patience), but they were finally at the last leg of their tour. The only room left to inspect was the master bedroom, and, like everything else, it certainly didn't disappoint. Large window with a terrific view, plush carpet, a modest-sized room and a workable ceiling to match... Yep, consider the android tickled pink. He wasn't the only one, either~!

    Nestled alongside the windowsill was a roosting Odette, the feathery explorer currently soaking up some sun. She looked at Nick and the robot almost expectantly as if to say: what took you so long? Now, Scaramouch wasn't fluent in goose (contrary to what people thought), but he knew that look like the back of his own hand. "So that's where you took off to~!" he cooed, smile as wide as ever. Ruby heels quietly sunk into carpet with every delicate step. "Are ya enjoyin' the view?" Though she didn't reply, her gaze drifted to the outside world below, Odette perhaps enthralled by a perspective so inherent and yet alien to her. Aww... he'll have to make a roost for the poor thing whenever Odette decided to visit. Waterfowl aside, the android studied his immediate surroundings with an approving nod. "Not bad, not bad... Plenty of room for a bed and stuff. Maybe a nightstand or two. Though, I wonder..." Optics trailed downward, blinking at the carpet beneath his feet.

    Yep, time to do yet another thing.

    Just when Nick thought today's shenanigans were over, they started anew. Scaramouch took a moment to sit upon the floor and began unlacing his boots. "Yo, Nick. Take your shoes off," he demanded. That wasn't a request, either.

    The realtor blinked. "...W-Why?"

    "D'ya want me to take 'em off for ya?"

    "R-Right, taking off my shoes."

    He can be taught, folks!

    Soon both fellas were kicking it barefoot, naked human feet outstretched beside metallic doggies as Scaramouch laid down with a quiet, satisfied sigh. "Ahhh..." He idly kicked his legs and rubbed his soles and fingers into the fabric. "This feels soft... Does it feel soft for you, babe? Help me out here; I ain't used to carpet."

    Nick faintly shrugged. "It's... not bad, I guess."

    "Yeah?"

    "Plush, thick, clean."

    The last adjective earned a snicker out of the robot. "Don't take this personally, Nicky, babe, but you are so strange. Like, out of this world strange. Anyone ever tell ya that?"

    They probably did all the time, because Nick embraced the comment with the usual halfhearted gusto. "I mean, my uncle does, b-but he has high standards, so..." He shrugged again and wrapped his arms around his knees, toes wiggling. "No stranger than an android who has a goose for a pet and is looking for a place to buy, despite not needing a kitchen, a bathroom, or a bedroom. Probably doesn't need a washer or dryer, too."

    "Hon, hon, hon~!"

    Honk!

    "Aw, you both sound related."

    Pffft, cheeky. But Scaramouch let it slide. He was in far too good a mood to argue. "Yeah, I guess it's weird..." the robot muttered. Arms rested beneath his head as optics closed. "To be honest with ya, babe, I really don't need all this stuff. Give me a tidy closet or a simple room, and I'm ducky. But, as I'm sure you've already figured out by pressin' two neurons together, this ain't just about me." Honk! "Hon, hon~! Or, yes, you too, Odette. I'll always have room for you, though, don't worry~!" What an odd, odd character... Nick didn't know what to think of this guy - this fast-talking, heel-wearing, hot-and-cold android - but he seemed... fun. It was weird, even by the realtor's measures, but he couldn't help but interact.

    The little guy nodded along, though Nick knew nothing of love or bunking with someone who wasn't family. "Well," he exhaled, glancing around, eyes sunken but lively, "if you're planning on having a significant other frequently visit, this is a nice choice. Plenty of room, tons of privacy, stellar ambiance... It's not the Ritz, but it's got character. Assuming she's not the picky type, she'd be very happy."

    Well damn, that was the most mature thing Nick's said all day.

    He glanced over at an extremely baffled Scaramouch and actually reached over to pat the android's shoulder. Such a hesitant, gentle touch... "Oh, right! Let me show you the walk-in closet you were so excited about. This way... b-babe?"

    Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir!

    Welp, there went crush #1,475,980... It was hard being a love machine.
    avatar
    Scaramouche
    Gigabyte

    Gigabyte

    Posts : 124
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Location : Anywhere the wind blows
    Level : 1

    Character Sheet
    Defense Bar:
    0/0  (0/0)
    Health Bar:
    60/60  (60/60)
    Stamina Bar:
    11/11  (11/11)

    Re: Moving on Up

    Post by Scaramouche on Mon Jun 12, 2017 2:08 am

    "Ta-da~! Well, what do you t-think? Was it everything you hoped for?"

    "Um, w-weeeeeell~! It's... It's a lil'..."

    You know what they say; it isn't about the destination, but the journey. And the former wasn't quite what Scaramouch had expected. Frowning, the towering android ducked beneath a doorway and now stood in the master bedroom's walk-in closet. He did a few rotations of his feet and sighed. "It's a fabulous closet, babe, but... don't ya think it's a lil' big? Like, maybe too big?"

    The question honestly floored Nick. "Big?" he repeated, thinking he had misheard. Never in all his years had the realtor heard of someone complaining about a big walk-in closet! It had always been a major selling point.

    "Y-Yeah, big."

    Now wearing a frown himself, Nick stepped inside and joined his client, occasionally sweeping his eyes along the closet's top-to-bottom. "W-Well, uh, there's plenty of room for a hers and his," he piped up, hoping to highlight the positives. "You could have one side, she could have another... I mean, that's great! I know plenty of couples who argue about closet space, you know? A-And there's room for shelves, coat racks, shoes and hats... You could really do a lot with all this space." So... what was the problem, then? Most folks would kill for a closet this - oh. The little guy glanced up at the robot and blinked. "...Is this about another fetish, or...?"

    Pfft! Okay, that earned a loud snort out of yours truly. Scaramouch huffed, "Nicky, babe? I don't think you wanna know the answer to that." He preferred the term 'kink', anyway. Fetishes could get so weird!

    "R-Right, gotcha. Don't ask, don't tell."

    Oh brother...

    Not going to touch that topic, the android exited the closet with a roll of his optics and had much to consider. Actually, not really (his mind was already made), but Scaramouch was gonna pretend he did. "Killer views, beautiful and airy kitchen, privacy, swanky master bedroom and bathroom, office space... small closet..." Welp! Can't have it all, right? Closet aside, this place really was the cat's pajamas. Now, would the cat actually like it or not...? "Hmm, and no one bought this place because?" He probably shouldn't look something this nice in the mouth, but Scaramouch didn't like being suckered. As amazing as this place was, there just had to be - had to be - a reason why it wasn't instantly snatched off the market. Like, seriously! What devils were hiding in the details?

    Nick was helpful as always. He shrugged and gave an extremely blasé answer. "I don't know, I guess it's a mixture of Portal City's small population and no pressing need for real estate." That... probably wasn't a great explanation, so the realtor took another crack at it. "Like, all properties in the city are either 300,000 creds, assuming they're purely residential, or 500,000 if they're businesses. That's just how it is here. Always has been."

    Wait, what...?

    "Sooo..." A dozen tiny mechanical bits and bobs strained as the robot tried to process Nick's words. "Wait, wait, wait. You're tellin' me that every property within city limits - every single one - is set to a static price, the only deciding factor being if it's residential or commercial?"

    Another shrug. "Yep! Preeeetty much."

    "And the reason there's all this prime property - including the one you're showin' me right now - is because there ain't enough people for a high demand, right?"

    "Right."

    The next question Scaramouch wanted to ask danced on the tip of his synthetic tongue. It was kinda rude, but... eh, Nick's heard worse, he rationalized. "...Then what's the point of a realtor?"

    A sigh of relief escaped the little man. "Thank you!" Not the response Scaramouch was expecting, but hey! He'll roll with it. "I have been saying that exact same thing for ages now, but my uncle..." Nick shook his head, wagging a finger. "But my uncle says having this gig will establish character. Yeah, right... And I'm not a socially inept shut-in, and you're a Mac." ...A what? The android didn't get to ask as Nick shuffled out of the closet and back into the master bedroom. "A-Anyway, if you want this place, it's yours for the low, low price of 300,000 credits. No taxes, no fees, no hassle of paperwork and bidding wars with competitive interests. Just whip out your credit card and we'll do the transaction right here and now."

    Oh.

    That... That was actually very comforting to know, yes! What's this about a credit card, though?

    "I don't... thiiiiiink I have a credit card?" For very obvious reasons, Scaramouch had never been allowed to physically own a line of credit. He could spoof some information and apply, sure! But a robot who used a credit card...? Robots were possessions, not people! But, then again...

    "Sure you do!" Nick chortled. "You got a wallet?"

    "Er, yes?"

    "Is it on you?"

    "S-Sure?"

    "Great! Whip it out."

    "..."

    Well shit, might as well, 'cause things were already this far in, right? Though hesitant, the android reached into his pea coat and retrieved a slender black pocketbook, complete with a silver clasp, and opened it up. Credit chips, a few business cards from local shops and vendors, a rolled up piece of aluminum foil, and a homemade sketch of a certain fluffy lady's beautiful face greeted the realtor. Nothing out of the ordinary! "Okay, so, there's just... credits and stuff. See?" He showed the wallet's contents to Nick and thought nothing of it. "No credit card, so... I dunno how to pay ya right this moment, babe. Don't you have, like, an office I can visit later or somethin'? I got the scratch, but it ain't on me. Who's dumb enough to carry all that dough~?" Not this groovy cat, that's who!

    Nick couldn't help but smile at the drawing, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Aw, did you make that?" he asked. Fans noisily sputtered. "She's really gorgeous. I almost thought you had a pet cat at first, h-ha ha!" Why.

    "N-Nick, th-the c-c-credit ca-a-ard...?"

    "Oh right, s-sorry. It's, um... oh! R-Right there, just near your thumb. See it?" No, he didn't see i - wait, what's...?

    Scaramouch wouldn't have believed his own optics if they weren't operating at 100% capacity, but sure enough there was something in his wallet that wasn't there before. It was slender, vaguely transparent, and glimmered with an eye-catching sheen. It, um, also had his name on it and stuff, go figure! Had it seriously been in his wallet all this time? "...What the he - ?"

    "Didn't know it was there?" Nick didn't bother stifling a chuckle. "Yeah, you're not the only one, don't worry. This place has a really weird sense of humor like that. Every citizen has a credit card - or a bank card, really. No one knows where it comes from or how you get it, just that you have it. Neat, huh?"

    "Actually," the robot slowly began, "that's kinda spooky."

    The realtor frowned. "You think so...? I always thought it was kinda neat. A-Anyway!" He fidgeted and reached into a pocket, withdrawing a sort of... black scanner-like device? Whatever it was, it had a slot designed for cards - very much like the one pinched between the android's fingers - and its innards seemed to pulse with this odd, otherworldly cyan glow. The energy readings coming off the thing were ridiculously unknown!

    "What... is that?"

    "Oh, this? It's a card reader. You give me your card, I slide it in, and it does the rest. Easy, right?"

    "And is that thing secure...?"

    "I'm... I'm assuming so...? These things are all over the place; merchants, shopkeepers, realtors... I mean, they're technically a part of the system, right?"

    "...The system?"

    "..."

    This was getting too awkward, even for Nick. "Y-You know what? I'm just g-gonna..." In one fell swoop, the realtor plucked Scaramouch's supposed (and highly convenient) credit card out from the android's fingers and swiped it through the reader. A cheerful - beep! - sounded as one of the little lights flickered green. "Alright, you're approved!" he said with a timid smile. "Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of Unit #69. H-Here's your card back."

    Oh, uh...! Scaramouch took his card back happily, even tried to smile, but the confusion was plainly written all over his metal face. What just happened? "That was, um... uh... g-greeeeat~? R-Really simple and kinda alarmin', b-but also great! Thanks, Nicky, babe~! You're a life saver."

    "Y-You're welcome! And, uh..." Nick's eyes glanced suspiciously from left to right. "G-Good luck with the furniture shopping. You're gonna need it." He held up the card reader and patted it with a wink.

    "..."

    From her sunny perch across the room, Odette couldn't help but laugh.

    Sponsored content

    Re: Moving on Up

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:04 pm