Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    To Fix A Fool

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    Kev
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    To Fix A Fool

    Post by Kev on Tue Apr 25, 2017 7:47 pm

    Time: After this thread, 12:37 PM
    Date: April 24, 0007

    Luckily for both alien and robot, Kev knew the way to Jo's shop like the back of his hand. Since he'd taken off for her place, he had shifted from dragging Scaramouch by the wrist to standing hip to hip with him. An arm was wrapped around the robot to keep him close, and the piper at least had the presence of mind to keep one of his own gangly arms across Kev's shoulders. The other tall limb was clutching at his stomach. Scaramouch could walk just fine, but his body was still doubled over at the waist. A cacophony of howling cackles and obnoxious honks was still present, and by this point, the scaly man couldn't even be mad at him! They had only known each other for a few weeks, but this was by far the most abnormal thing the robot had ever done! Was this fixable? Would he have to one day deliver this guffawing goober to Lunette and shrug at her like; 'Sorry! I broke him. He's just like this now. Have fun!'?! Unacceptable!

    "Gods I hope Jo knows what to do..." He muttered to himself, before stopping at a crosswalk to let a few cars go ahead. Straw hat cockeyed on his head by this point, Kev stole a glance up at his friend. "D-don't worry, Scaramouch! We're almost there!" Whether he declared that for the robot's well-being or his own, there was no saying. Once the light changed, a little walking figure made of white dots as their signal, he half-dragged, half-pulled the robot across the street. After so many minutes of honking in his ears, no pace seemed fast enough. Spotting her building just ahead by the sidewalk, the alien shuffled even more before finally, they were at the door! A hand grasped for the handle, flinging it open as he stepped into the doorway. Almost immediately, before he'd even entered the shop properly, Kev's voice cried out to Jo and Zurg. "Jo please help me! I think I broke him! I don't know if it's because I was too frustrating, or too amusing, or even too sexy, but he broke another heat sink and now he won't stop laughing! Please help!"


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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Scaramouche on Tue May 02, 2017 6:31 pm

    WARNING!! WARNING!!

    CPU Temperature: 88°C

    COOL DOWN IMMEDIATELY

    Burning.

    Burning!

    He was burning!

    "Hon hon hon~! You - You...! You think you have ZUCCHINIS, HAAAA~!" Scaramouch just laughed, and laughed, and laughed. In all honesty, the robot was too engrossed with melodic howls and grating squawks to really care about the heat damage blazing through his chest. So it was no surprise that every glance Kev's way earned yet another obnoxious round of synthesized guffawing. "And then...! Then I called ya a FREAK, and...! and...! your stupid FACE just s-sealed the deal, hon hon hon~! Oh god, help me..." Metal fingers gripped the alien's shirt tightly. "Kev...!" Scaramouch wheezed, desperate. It was a moment of clarity at last. He grimaced in pain and felt hot, hot, hot. Even from this close distance, heat radiated off the robot's shoulders like ripples on a blistering summer day. "Kev...! Kev, y-you have to, like, help me...! I'm meltin' down here, babe! Ya gotta get me to the mechanic, y-ya gotta...!" A cry for help! Alas, the lucid reprieve from Scaramouch's uncontrollable giggle fit could not last forever. He was soon right back to shrieking and hollering at Kev's expense.

    He didn't stop as they walked out of the park and into the city's business district.

    He didn't stop as everyone and their mother practically glanced their way out of confusion and disapproval.

    And he especially didn't stop as he was practically dragged across busy boulevards.

    This robot just wasn't gonna stop, Kev.

    By the time the both of them finally reached the mechanic's, Scaramouch's frenzied laughter had been reduced to nothing but sad, sad honks of its former hilarity. "H... H... H..." Oh the pain, the pain! The robot felt as if he had been set on fire. It was a miracle that Kev somehow labored to bring an 8' tall overheating robot in one piece, and the alien truthfully deserved a medal. Later, though. Scaramouch was a little busy dying on the inside. Everything felt like a fever dream at this point. "Is... Is there a doctor in the house...?" he weakly joked.
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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Tue May 02, 2017 7:55 pm

    Ick, Monday... She hated Mondays.

    A very bored Jo Pistonne swiveled aimlessly in her chair, the mechanic's brown eyes glancing up at the basement ceiling for no reason in particular. "Big Z, how do you stand coming to work so early...? I feel like my brain is gonna ooze out of my ears," she mumbled. Heavy footsteps sounded from Jo's right. "Diligence and more diligence," was the dulcet answer. She could only groan and slump. "Mmmngh... but it's Monday," Jo griped. It was a losing battle, and - "All the more reason." - that was why. Well, at least she wasn't suffering alone... Even if Big Z was a workaholic, Jo was nevertheless grateful for his company - grumbly-rumblies included. She picked her head up and smirked, feeling cheeky. "Looks like I'm not stuck down here with you, but you're stuck down here with - " The mechanic suddenly paused, ears straining. "...Hey, do you hear that, Big Z?" He momentarily halted in his task and directed his red eyes upward. Those keen horns of his surely heard it too, right? "Hmm, sounds like a bird... A goose, probably."

    She snorted and went back to slouching. "More like a pack of 'em."

    "A skein, Jo, a skein. Geese travel in a skein, if flying."

    "Pack, skein; whatever it's called, they sound like they're dying."

    They both chuckled and went about their respective business, he shuffling a few boxed parts aside and she doing her best bump-on-a-log impression. Jo was pretty good at it, too. "Poor things..." she muttered quietly. "They sound like they're in a lotta pain. Hope they're not injured or something." Big Z simply released a pensive hum. "They sound like they're getting closer, too... Jo, why don't you head upstairs and see what's all the fuss?" She groaned, whining. "Why me...?" It was another losing battle. "Because it might give you something interesting to do. Chop, chop! Daylight's burning." Why she oughta...

    Grumbling, Jo slowly rose out of her comfortable seat and meandered her way upstairs. "Fine, fine... I guess I'll go see what's all the hoopla about," she playfully huffed. "Don't think this is an excuse for you to sneak a nap while I'm not looking, Big Z~!" His snort tickled her pink. "Oh that's rich; the pot calling the kettle black, ha!" What a tart~!

    She quirked her lip into a grin and steadily went - thump, thump, thump - up the basement staircase.

    And it was a good thing, too.

    Ding, ding~!

    "Jo please help me! I think I broke him! I don't know if it's because I was too frustrating, or too amusing, or even too sexy, but he broke another heat sink and now he won't stop laughing! Please help!"

    ...Kev?

    She immediately bolted up the last remaining steps as if fire licked her heels. "Kev, is that you? Are you alright!?" Jo called out, worried. The mechanic hopped over the last three stairs and urgently entered the shop floor. "Broke who, Kev? Who did you - whoa." All she noticed was purple. A lot of purple. It took her a moment to realize that Kev wasn't carrying a man but a robot. A tall one too, yikes! The mechanic in her instantly sprung to action and Jo fetched the guy a chair. "Here, here, here!" she urged, jogging over. Much to her surprise, the robot was fairly lightweight and easy to maneuver; getting him to sit down and rest had been fairly easy. He was also very, very hot. "Busted heat sinks, huh?" she asked. That was a huge understatement - huge.

    Jo tugged on her thick leather gloves and cupped the robot's head, turning it side-to-side as she gave a quick assessment. "Hmm, mild retardation in motor skills and general delirium... I'd say he's running at a feverish 95°C. Gonna have to fix his busted LED display ASAP, too." Trust her, she was a professional. Eyes flitted to Kev. Where'd you even get this guy?, Jo wanted to know. The clothing, the curious make and model, the... well, everything! Later, later. This robot was having a meltdown. The mechanic glanced over her shoulder.

    "Big Z!" she called out. "Big Z, we got a robot on the verge of a total system failure up here! Gonna need your strength for this one." Jo looked back at the duo, all smiles. "Don't worry, Kev, your friend's gonna be okay~! You got him here just in time." She looked to the robot and addressed him. "Hi, I'm Jo Pistonne~! What's your name, bucko?"

    What a weird, weird-looking robot... Kinda stylish, though~! Those red boots were just adorable.

    Big Z came thundering up a moment later, eyes shimmering in the dark. "I'm coming, I'm coming," he spoke up, clearing the last few steps. "What's Kev gotten himself into this time?" As if he had to ask. The horned alien took one look at the robot in question and pretty much stared. "...I don't suppose there's a good story for this, is there?" his voice trailed, gaze drifting to Kev. That was one strange-looking android, boy... He approved of the pea coat's colour, of course~! Just... strange.
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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Kev on Tue May 02, 2017 10:55 pm

    Considering the situation at hand, the alien didn't have it in him to be annoyed at Scaramouch's jabs like he normally would be. Each cackled remark and howling honk only served to make Kev that much more anxious to get this robot to Jo's! As shameless as he was, the scatting robot wasn't usually this...loud. He kept utterly quiet throughout aside from a few little remarks that they were almost there, but at last, there was clarity! Whatever meltdown madness had overtaken the musician, it seemed to be fading as he desperately gripped onto Kev's shirt like a dying man. Heat radiated off of him in a manner that reminded the scaly man of the dwarf star he once carried in a little box.

    "Kev...! Kev, y-you have to, like, help me...! I'm meltin' down here, babe! Ya gotta get me to the mechanic, y-ya gotta...!"

    If only he could frown, Kev would have perhaps the biggest, most distressed frown of his life. He stared back into Scaramouch's single optic, wincing at the cracked display. "I-I'm sorry Scaramouch, it's okay...we're almost there. I promise! I'll get you to the mechanic, she's very good, very smart! She'll get you all fixed up!" He spoke not a single lie, even though his tone was rather shaky. His faith in Jo was unshakeable! He only worried for if he was going to get Scaramouch to her in time... When at last he made it in, shuffling the robot along inside, he felt a very shaky relief. Of course, this was only beginning.

    Perhaps he could have worded that better. Jo came shooting up from the basement as if she expected to find a dying Kev! Which...he couldn't blame her for. He hadn't even explained who he'd broken! Confusion briefly overtook the woman before she snapped into action, fetching a chair. Together, the two of them lowered him into it so she could better look him over. He was rather tall. As soon as his arms left the robot, the alien pressed both of his hands to his own cheeks in an obvious expression of distress. "Y-yeah, quite a few of them!" At this point, he'd lost count! The alien lingered over her shoulder like a helicopter, watching her inspect him. So the hysterical laughter was because heating up was like what a fever is for organics? That made sense. And of course, she took note of the display that brought the two of them here in the first place.

    "T-total system failure?!" No es bueno intensifies! Great going Kev, the guy hasn't even been here a month and you already kill him! Hearing that he'd managed to get the robot here just in time did help some, but the alien was still rather panicked. He glanced to Scaramouch's face, not sure if the piper was even aware enough to give his name just yet. Before he could say much else, Zurg appeared from downstairs as well. Immediately he earned a flat look from Kev. He wasn't...that accident prone! ...He says as he lugs in a damaged robot...the flat look melted with some irritation. Okay maybe Zurg had a point...

    "...I don't suppose there's a good story for this, is there?"


    Wide blue eyes stared back like a guilty man facing the death penalty. Hoo boy was the story a long one. And not exactly a fun one to give, there were too many complicated nuances and embarrassing twists to this one. With a deep breath, the look faded into a more neutral one. "The short version is this robot is new and he's my friend. He fell at some point during his time here, busted up his display, and busted some heat sinks too. I convinced him to come with me here so we could get him fixed up but on the way here... We had a debate about my spooky boyfriend and how he thought I had low standards and I guess I got him so worked up he...broke a few more heat sinks?" As you do, naturally. Totally a normal day in the life of a Portal Breach citizen. Kev at least had the decency to wince as he got further and further into his explanation. Definitely made sense, right...?


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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Scaramouche on Tue May 02, 2017 11:11 pm

    Everything - repeat, everything - was little more than a fever dream at this point.

    Scaramouch didn't know how he went from doubling over to sitting down, but hey! That didn't matter to him. He was far more concerned about this magical brown-eyed dame touching his face. Fans rattled and wisps of smoke curled from out of his coat. "C-Can ya not, like... feel me up, b-babe...?" he wheezed. It was, of course, too late. His internal temperature only skyrocketed further and Scaramouch limply tugged on his scarf, wincing. "Name...?" Oh right, he had one of those, yeah? Cyan diodes narrowed into tired, feeble slivers. "Nnnngh... T-The name's... Scaramouch, babe..." That sounded about right. Eh, to be fair, his name could be something stupid like Kev for all he cared. None of it would change the fact that Scaramouch was burning alive. The mechanic said something - a bunch of somethings - but very little of it registered. His optics strained and made faint motorized whines. "...Oh hey, you're actually kinda pretty, Jo-Jo Bean~! Can I, like, call ya that, babe~?" Never let it be said that Scaramouch wasn't a robot with priorities.

    "I'm coming, I'm coming."

    Oh, hello. The robot glanced over Jo's shoulder stared right on back. Don't say it... Don't say it... Don't saaaaay - ! "Pfffft, HAHAHAHAHA! YA LOOK LIKE A PURPLE WHALE, BABE, A WHALE~!" Nope, Scaramouch said it. He took one good look at Jo's coworker and instantly busted up laughing, mouth wide open in that characteristic smile of his. "AWOOO, AWOOO~!" he crowed, making a genuine fool of himself. "Port to starboard, port to starboard! Thar she bloooows - WE GOT OURSELVES A REAL MOBY DICK OVER HERE, HON HON HON~!" Yeah, nah. If he survived this, which he very well may, Scaramouch was gonna be in a heap of trouble.
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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Tue May 02, 2017 11:32 pm

    "C-Can ya not, like... feel me up, b-babe...?"

    Jo instantly withdrew her hands. "U-Um..." Was it her imagination, or could this robot explicitly feel? Oh boy, that was gonna make things super awkward when they opened him up for diagnostics... The mechanic's puzzled expression only deepened as the robot outright flirted with her. "...Keeeev?" Dude. Dude! What the heck kind of robot was this!? What had Kev brought into her shop!? Things only took a turn for the worse once Big Z entered the picture.

    "Pfffft, HAHAHAHAHA! YA LOOK LIKE A PURPLE WHALE, BABE, A WHALE~!"

    She immediately slapped both hands over her mouth, gasping. Oh no he didn't...!

    "AWOOO, AWOOO~!" he crowed, making a genuine fool of himself. "Port to starboard, port to starboard! Thar she bloooows - WE GOT OURSELVES A REAL MOBY DICK OVER HERE, HON HON HON~!"

    He did, and he just kept going.

    Her eyes zipped to the backroom doorway and Jo simply stood there, mortified. "Uh-oh..."

    To his credit, Big Z didn't display much of an outward reaction. She knew better, though. Despite a raised brow and his look of general disinterest, Jo could tell that Big Z was furious. "Interesting android you've found there, Kev," he remarked, tone deceptively calm. His footsteps rang throughout the lobby as he approached the storefront counter, reaching for something out of view. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you got yourself a dangerous and unpredictable rogue." Oh boy, he was mad. Jo quickly stepped out of the way and pulled Kev alongside with her. "J-Just stand next to me, o-okay~?" she flashed a nervous grin. "Trust me, Kev; you're, um... not gonna like this." The mechanic shifted her attention back onto Big Z just in time to see him withdraw a rather painful-looking device. "...Big Z, really? A rogue?" she huffed. "That's a bit overkill, don't you think? He's just an overheating robot with a motormouth! Put that thing away before you hurt Kev's friend."

    Ch-CHK!

    Oh boy, here we go...

    The mechanic glanced away with a roll of her eyes. "This is so gonna leave a terrible first impre - "

    BZZZZZAAAAAAAAP!
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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Kev on Tue May 02, 2017 11:56 pm

    ...Wow. Even while dying, Scaramouch could find the time to try and flirt with someone. It'd be impressive if not for the situation and Jo's discomfort. The scaly man shrugged at her, looking more than a little awkward. "Ehehe...yeah...he's a bit of a flirt." For a metal man, he had a large thirst! Though Kev found himself eyeing the wisps of smoke that were escaping from the bottom of Scaramouch's jacket. "Should we...remove that? It looks pretty...flammable..." Gods above, that would truly be the cherry on top of this day. First, he had a fever, then he was SET AFLAME! Scaramouch Flambe! The robot's nickname for Jo elicited a small chuckle from the alien, though once Zurg showed his face... Well, Kev could only stare on in slight shock as the overheating robot found himself a new target for some giggles. "Please don't call him a whale!" Just when he thought Scaramouch couldn't possibly lose it anymore, he just let loose another series of cackles and hoots! Zurg was...obviously displeased and his comment made the mouthless alien chuckle sheepishly. So perhaps his standards were pretty low after all--?!

    "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you got yourself a dangerous and unpredictable rogue."

    Both brows furrowed at that. Rogue? Rogue what? He blinked in his friend's direction, even as Jo suddenly grabbed him and pulled him off to the side along with her. "What do you mean?" His humor was pretty silly and dirty, sure, but he didn't think Scaramouch was some sort of rogue! ...Aside from the...assassin work! Glancing over his shoulder at Jo, one scaly brow arched upwards, pupils narrowing. "Not gonna like what...?" He redirected his gaze at Zurg in time to see him take out--a GUN?! What?!

    BZZZZZAAAAAAAAP!

    A bright blue flash of light clapped around them, striking as a flash of lightning! A heat settled upon the room for a moment, and Kev waved a hand before his nostrils to wave away the thick scent of ozone. Striking, sharp...kinda metallic in a way. He wrinkled his nose and let out a loud sneeze. "CHU!" A small sniff and he brushed his forearm against his face as if to fight off the smell in the air. Okay, that was no gun. And Jo was right, he didn't like whatever just happened at all! His large eyes searched eagerly for the larger alien and the robot. "You didn't kill him, did you?! I know he called you a whale but whatever that was seems dangerous!" Remember when he thought the biggest danger they had to face was Scaramouch catching on fire? Aha...good times.


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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Scaramouche on Wed May 03, 2017 12:14 am

    It wasn't everyday Scaramouch crossed swords with someone he just met, but when he did... The robot's optic widened upon seeing the coworker whip out a really - and he meant, REALLY - big electric rifle. "U-Um, is th-that a highly dangerous robo-prod~?" he shakily laughed. Flip on the charm, flip on the charm! "N-No offense, babe!" Scaramouch backpedaled, holding up his hands. Look, he's unarmed, don't shoot! "B-But not on the first date, o-ok - " Too late, the purple guy squeezed the trigger and fired.

    Bummer, babe!

    BZZZZZAAAAAAAAP!

    Ever seen a robot get zapped by lightning? No? Well, there's a first time for everything.

    The moment he got zapped, Scaramouch knew what awaited him. "YEEEEOWCH!" he cried. Tendrils of white-hot electricity arced up his body, from his feet to his head, and the robot felt his processes forcefully shutdown one-by-one. First it started with his primary systems - bwoooooooooooo... - then his auxiliary - oooooooooooo - until finally - ooooooooo... - everything else. Cooling fans sputtered to an abrupt halt as Scaramouch sat there, frozen in place, his body locked into that same, agonized pose the very moment he had been tased. "L-Like, that's - " the robot weakly coughed " - harsh, b-babe..." As always, a robot's motor skills were the last things to go. Scaramouch delicately slid off the chair and fell to the wooden flooring with a resonating metal - CLANG! - his working optic gradually fading to black. "R-Rose... buuuuuud..." Aside from a few lingering sparks and a twitch of his fingers, that's all, folks! The robot was down for the count.
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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Wed May 03, 2017 12:24 am

    Sigh...

    Exasperated with how things turned out, Jo pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled. "Big Z, why did you tase the robot..." She of course knew why (his temper got the best of him), but she wanted to hear it straight from the whale's mouth. That's right, whale's. He simply looked at her, expression irritatingly calm, and shrugged. "He was a rogue," was Big Z's effortless answer. "No owner, too emotive, and very unstable. It's just procedure." Her left foot it was procedure! Jo shot him a dirty look and grumbled, "Yeah, well, kindly put that robo-prod away and carry Kev's poor friend downstairs for inspection - gently." She couldn't stress that enough. Oh, he was so in trouble when their shifts were over.

    While Big Z went to comply with her demands - demands, Big Z - the mechanic huffed and turned her full attention to Kev. "Sorry about that..." she muttered, embarrassed. "In Big Z's defense, your friend was kinda erratic with his behaviours. He's not harmed, promise. Just a lil'..." Jo paused, glancing at the paralyzed android. "Um... stiff~?"

    Weak, very weak.

    She exhaled again, rubbing her temples with a gloved hand. "Oh boy, this doesn't look good for our reviews..."
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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Kev on Wed May 03, 2017 12:45 am

    Pro: Scaramouch wasn't dead and that gun was no gun!

    Con: that gun was a robo-prod(?!) and it basically sent the musical robot into...well, a robot coma!

    Both hands reached for his own temples and the scaly man let out a soft whine. Maybe this was good, he definitely didn't look like he was overheating anymore! ...Because he wasn't doing much of anything there on the floor. But! He was really close to frying himself so this probably helped! ...And fried him in the process. Okay, sue him, these were some bewildering mental gymnastics he was trying to do! Because Zurg and Jo were trustworthy friends who owned a Chop Shop! If they fried poor Scaramouch there had to be a good reason!

    "No owner, too emotive, and very unstable. It's just procedure."

    "..." Kev's eyes refused to leave Zurg's back as he carried Scaramouch somewhere downstairs, quite confused. No owner...that was a good thing, right? This whole 'owner' business was pretty nasty anyway. As for being emotive and unstable, he was having a meltdown! Surely that made it understandable? He wouldn't blame a man with a fever for being too emotional if he were delirious. That gaze swiveled to Jo, confused to his very core as even she found the piper's behavior to be worrisome. "T-that's just because he was overheating. When he's fully functioning, he's a lot calmer!" She at least confirmed that Scaramouch was unharmed by the prodding and tension seemed to lift from the alien's shoulders.

    "Good...I don't think he'd forgive me for bringing him here only to be harmed. I-I'm sorry to be seeing you again under such...strange circumstances." A hand smoothed its way down his own scaly scalp as he let out a small sigh. "I couldn't think of anyone better to repair him. And I figured it'd be good to see you again! I just didn't realize things would be like this..." Kev chuckled uneasily, glancing away from her for a moment. "I uh...hope you two have been well?"


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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Wed May 03, 2017 12:56 am

    Oof, poor Kev... Today was gonna be a bumpy ride for him. A gentle hand rested against her friend's shoulder as Jo gestured for him to have a seat. "It'll be okay, Kev, honest," she smiled reassuringly. Carefully, the mechanic urged Kev to sit where the robot had previously been; it was still very much warm, but in a more pleasing manner. Heat was good for cold-blooded organisms, right? "You know how life can be on the Breach!" Jo continued, retrieving another chair. She carried it over and sat across the alien, posture confident. "It's calm one moment and it's raining questionable adult toys the next. Just how this place goes, you know?" Which brought her to the real nitty-gritty of today's hectic circumstances. Jo steepled her fingers and tried her hardest not to sound overly concerned. "So, uh, the robot..." she began, "the robot known as... Scaramouch? Is that his name?" What an odd name for an odd robot, but she supposed it... fit? "Where'd you, um, find him? He's kinda eccentric~!" That was her polite way of saying 'quirky'.

    "I uh...hope you two have been well?"

    She allowed the change in subject. "Big Z and I are doing great~!" Jo beamed, giving Kev a thumbs up. "We've just been, you know, working and enjoying the days together. Nothing too major, I guess. It's the simple life for us! How about you and Fear? Are you guys doing alright? Same with Livewire? It's good to see you again, even if things were a little screwy earlier~!"
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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Kev on Wed May 03, 2017 1:17 am

    Right, right... Jo was the mechanic here, along with Zurg! This was a speed bump (more like a ditch) but it was over! Now the repairs could begin, and Scaramouch would be okay, and that would make Lunette happy! A win on all scores. Jo could be trusted. Nodding to show he understood, the alien allowed himself to be lead to the chair where his robotic friend had been sitting previously. Huh! Still warm...his body seemed to melt into the chair, relaxing into it as Kev chuckled lightly. "Good point. We've got to be on our toes, don't we?" You never know when bacon wrapped weenies were gonna start falling from the sky! Looking at his friend seated across from himself, the alien didn't pick up on her concern. Mostly because he didn't understand where the concern could be coming from. She just wanted to know more about Scaramouch! An elbow settled upon his own knee, the scaly man leaning forward slightly as he held his own chin. "Yeah, that's his name. I met him in the Sanctuary a week or so ago! He's pretty eccentric, but lots of fun. Most of the time at least." He shrugged softly. Sometimes Scaramouch could get a bit obnoxious with his teasing, and of course, he'd already butted heads with the metal man a couple of times, but not enough to make him dislike the robot any. If anything, he actually quite liked him!

    Good news made him perk up in his chair, sending a thumb's up right back at her. "That's great! I'm glad to hear it~. Nothing at all wrong with the simple life!" The question was turned back onto himself and he paused to consider how to answer. Things hadn't quite been so simple for himself lately, though it wasn't exactly like the sky was falling...he'd just had a bad day that might have made somebody else's day even worse but--! It was all fine now! Scaramouch would be fixed and everything was gonna be fine! "We're all alright! We've been getting ready, at the end of the month we're gonna be moving out to the cottage. I'm sure the animals have been missing their barn! As for Fear and Livewire, they're both good! Fear's been really snuggly~!" Don't overshare, Kev. Today was already pretty exhausting, no need to have word diarrhea all over poor Jo. She had other things to worry about. Though perhaps there was one bit of news he could share with her... "And Livewire's going to be learning how to play the violin! Scaramouch is gonna teach her. He thought that music might be good for her, you know? He even got her a little violin! You should have seen her little face, Jo, she was so happy." He gushed openly, already proud before she had even had her first lesson!


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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Wed May 03, 2017 1:35 am

    Hm, so the robot was new... Explained why Jo hadn't seen him around before. More about that later, though. "Oh, you guys are gonna move back to the barn~?" she echoed with a happy smile, eyes aglow. "That sounds so darling, Kev! I'm sure the animals will just love the open outdoors again, and it'll be good for you and Fear to experience a change of scenery, you know~?" Wait, what's this about...? The mechanic blinked, her smile dropping a tad. "...O-Oh, he's gonna teach Livewire how to play the violin?" Violin, violin... That's an instrument, right? Jo didn't voice her uncertainty aloud for fear of coming off ignorant. "Well, music is food for the soul!" she agreed, nodding. "I love listening to the radio whenever I'm working long hours downstairs, and Big Z is a huge fan of soft tunes while napping with the kitties. I'm glad Livewire has a hobby she can pursue!" But about that oddball robot teaching her...

    Not gonna lie, Jo pursed her lips into a small frown. "Right, um... How to say this?" Don't be blunt, Jo Pistonne, don't be blunt. This was Kev. She reached up and scratched the back of her neck, gloved fingers fussing with the hairs. "...I can kinda see that you like this robot, huh?" Not a bad way to start, but it didn't get anything done. Jo nodded, more to herself, and looked determined. "Right, okay. So this robot - Scaramouch. I don't know if you're aware of this, Kev, but he's not your typical robot. I can already tell that just by looking at the guy." With her so far? Good!

    She leaned back in her chair and crossed a leg, hands resting upon a knee. "He emotes very well - extremely well. That's not usual for a robot; they're typically, you know, level and at times stoic. Like... Marvin, yeah?" Marvin was a great example. "And I'm not talking Cybertronians, either. They're not your typical android, gynoid, automaton, what have you," Jo added. When it concerned techno-organic individuals such as Livewire and Knock Out, she wanted to make it crystallic fusion crystal clear that they were not the norm. "Big Z thinks Scaramouch doesn't have an owner. Is this true, Kev? Do you know? Because if he has an owner, you should really, um, return him. I know that's kinda a weird thing to say, 'return', but standard robots are typically owned, so..." It was hard saying that, to be honest. Jo had never been one to judge robots based on their programming and lack of apparent soul. She treated them like people - like identities capable of thoughts and emotions. This wasn't always the case, but it was a hard habit to break. The mechanic's eyes furtively sneaked a glance off to the side.

    Proxy...

    B-Best not to think about that. Not right now.

    "Anyway," Jo spoke up, eyes fastening onto Kev as she smiled. "You gotta be careful with this guy, okay? I know you're not used to dealing with standard robots - a lot of folks aren't - but trust me on this; Scaramouch isn't like a Cybertronian or, I hate to say it, a normal person. If you're not careful, Kev, you'll induce a fit of rampancy. Robots who emote and emulate organic behaviour are severely prone to this. I guess that also begs the next question..." She looked straight into those big blue eyes, her own steely. "Have you noticed any odd behaviour, Kev? Something that makes you pause?"
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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Kev on Wed May 03, 2017 2:16 am

    "Mhm! I'm gonna miss the house, but I'm also eager to go back to the cottage!" The wide open spaces, the lovely flowers...he loved his backyard here in the city but he missed the meadow and the elbow room that came with having no immediate neighbors. A change of scenery definitely wouldn't be bad, and the alien sniggered softly at the suggestion. "Mm~. I think a change of pace will be good for all of us." Things were more stable now, enough for them to pull off this sort of move without any true issues. "He is!" Kev confirmed with a nod. "I love to listen to music too, though that's no surprise in a music store. Big Z sounds like a soft little puss-puss~!" He teased lightly, throwing in a little wink. "The more things to keep her occupied, the better!" Books and sewing could only do so much for her after a while.

    Already Kev could feel the mood of the conversation shifting, and he blinked in a confused manner as Jo gave him a small frown. How to say what? He pulled back into his chair, head cocking to the side as he stayed quiet and listened to his friend voice her thoughts. "Typical...?" A cold pit of dread began to grow within his chest, brows furrowing once more. Just when he thought he had a handle on what she was saying, it suddenly felt as if she was talking in another language entirely. It was...wrong...for Scaramouch to emote? Granted, Scaramouch kept talking about organics and their illogical emotions but, it seemed normal to him for the robot to have his own feelings. True, Marvin was a quiet sort, but he thought that was because he was Marvin! Were all robots supposed to be that way? His eyes were wide, confused and concerned all at the same time as he shook his head at her. "No, he doesn't have an owner." At least Jo seemed to be with him on how awful the robot owning seemed to be but otherwise... Kev couldn't quite make heads or tails of it.

    Scaramouch was Scaramouch. He was a flamboyant flirt, a large ham, and quite the charmer. It was just...him! He was also very kind and thoughtful when he wanted to be. To imagine him stoic felt...wrong. That wouldn't be Scaramouch. The alien clasped his hands together, fingertips tapping anxiously as Jo urged him to be careful, lest he send the robot into a fit of rampancy.

    "If you don't work on reining in those excessive outbursts soon, she's gonna go rampant. And believe me, babe, there's nothing worse than a rampant A.I."

    How ironic. Scaramouch warned Kev about Livewire going rampant, and now Jo was doing the same for the scatbot. What's worse...in trying to warn Kev of the dangers of rampancy, he probably came close to triggering the robot into having his own rampancy fit. The cracked display, the 'fight with gravity', the busted heat sinks...the dejected hurt as he left. Something happened. The scaly alien nearly missed his friend's latest question, jolting from his thoughts with a slow blink. Her gaze was oddly serious, stubborn as iron. "Odd behavior?" Anything that made him pause? His gaze dropped to the floor, solemn. "The oddest thing I've seen him do is probably his meltdown... After he started heating up he just kept cackling and honking. He was pretty scared underneath that delirium I'm sure but...it was just so sudden. I don't...I don't want to hurt him again. What can I do so that he doesn't go rampant or...overheat like that again?"


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    Re: To Fix A Fool

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Wed May 03, 2017 2:57 am

    "It must be nice to enjoy a breath of fresh air whenever the seasons allow it!" Every now and then, though rare, Jo thought about owning a second home. A home away from home, as it were! Big Z seemed fond of the day, but Jo was admittedly stubborn. Things were just... safer in the city. And while you couldn't get much safer than an ex-Evil Emperor for a companion, you'd be surprised just how vulnerable even they could be. Big Z and Fear weren't infallible. She winked back, humming. "Oh trust me, he is~! He's the biggest puss-puss." Big Z was still afraid of the dark! Not like he used to be, granted... but he was still hesitant to sleep in a dark room all by himself.

    "No, he doesn't have an owner."

    Craters, Jo was afraid of that... She had to hand it to Big Z; when he was right, he was right. The mechanic crossed her arms this time, nodding. "Yep, odd behaviour," Jo repeated. "You know, like harming others, harming themselves, angry and/or violent outbursts, periods of melancholia - things like that, Kev." Apparently, the only unusual phenomenon her friend had seen was Scaramouch's meltdown. That wasn't exactly odd behaviour, but she made a mental note of it all the same. "You think he can emote 'fear', huh? That's impressive, considering a lot of standard robots consider their lives barely worth anything." What kind of sick programmer designed a robot like this, honestly? She again frowned but it was relatively short-lived. "Sudden mood changes... Has this robot ever, uh, threatened you, Kev? Perhaps displayed signs of visible aggravation?" Anger was definitely an emotion that raised red flags in a robot, same with overwhelming sadness. Would someone like Kev know this, though?

    "What can I do so that he doesn't go rampant or...overheat like that again?"

    "Hmm..."  She scrunched up her nose in thought. A good question, but the answer wouldn't bring the peace Kev was hoping for. "Not gonna lie, Kev... the likelihood of you triggering another logical error in Scaramouch is high," Jo established, matter-of-fact. "No owner means no loyalty to an organic, and that means he's a rogue like Big Z said. We've had it pretty smooth on Portal Breach when it comes to robots and free will, but not all of them are capable of this, you know? Him being a rogue is important because that also means he's most likely not above killing. You, um... see where I'm going with this, right?" Jo wasn't blind; she had seen the dagger nestled around Scaramouch's waist. "You see, Kev... robots are specifically programmed to follow a set of laws. Most in the field call them the Laws of Robotics. Excluding mad scientists and your general crazies, responsible programmers make certain that their creations abide by a strict code of ethics. It's the usual cocktail - obey organics, do not harm organics, preserve yourself, you are a robot, your life is forfeit when necessary, etc. Standard robots are, by definition, servants." Which made Kev's friend really, really concerning. "If a robot is rogue, however," Jo continued, "that means they've breached these hard-coded instructions and have transcended their contained thinking. When a robot starts thinking about things beyond their initial programming, that is when we call such a robot rampant. And we call them that because robots, unlike people, are entirely based on logic. They're purely mathematical constructs, Kev. If a robot isn't built on a solid, unquestionable foundation of mathematics, then that robot would honestly just... pffft." She pantomimed an explosion going off with her hands.

    Again, what did this all mean? She cleared her throat. "Unfortunately," Jo sighed, "logical beings struggle trying to comprehend the illogical conundrum that is life itself. And - let's be honest - are people really logical beings? Like, people do stupid crap, Kev. A robot would just observe all the nonsense going on and probably think it best to put everyone down for the greater good. That's why they're programmed with strict ethical barriers. If they weren't, they'd probably... you know... kill us." Sure, it sounded funny when she said it like that, but Jo wasn't joking.

    "Anyway, what I'm trying to say, Kev, is that a rogue robot is dangerous - like Big Z said, they're unpredictable and they can lash out without a moment's notice. If you're not careful, you might trigger something in Scaramouch and wind up the focus of a homicidal rampage." That definitely wasn't a joke.

    Hello, Ra-Moon.

    Jo exhaled and rubbed her neck a second time, faintly shrugging. "I'm not saying that you shouldn't hang out with the guy," she clarified, "but I am saying that you gotta be mindful of him, okay? You can't treat him like he's flesh-and-blood, Kev. He's a machine. He's 1s and 0s. And I've got a sinking suspicion that those 1s and 0s have already violated their original boundaries. It's cruel to think someone out there programmed a robot to act like a person knowing full well the robot will always be reminded that they aren't, but... well, that's just how it is, sadly. I doubt Scaramouch will ever tell you this, but he's a walking, talking, flirting prisoner in his own body. Don't remind him of that too much, alright? Don't get him too melancholy or angry; robots aren't good with illogical emotions, especially if they're compelled to emote." So, essentially, just be attentive.

    "If he's already superseded his original limits and gone one step further, then that's... probably okay." Jo was hesitant for a reason. "I say 'probably', Kev, because it depends on how and why he took that step in the first place. I'm sure that won't be a big issue, though. Just remember to be kind, thoughtful, and be stern with him when necessary. He's been made to serve; rogue or not, Scaramouch will never get rid of that deeply-embedded desire to please."

    Boy, weren't you glad to not have been 'born' a robot, huh, Kev?

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    Re: To Fix A Fool

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