Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    A Fishy House Call

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    Minion
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    Re: A Fishy House Call

    Post by Minion on Mon Sep 04, 2017 1:10 pm

    Even Minion found the choices of vegans to be odd! Fear's opinion on them was obviously quite negative. Shrugging his robotic shoulders lightly, the fish gave his two cents on them. "If they choose not to eat meat and milk, that's their choice. Not a smart choice, but it's their right to eat what they want. I just don't understand how they think it changes anything." A metal hand gestured vaguely in the air. "Just because they don't eat steak doesn't mean no cow will ever be slaughtered again! All of those products are still in the stores, supplied to the people who do consume them. Makes all the complaining and belly-aching kinda...useless." About as productive as yelling at the sky, at least. As far as he was concerned, the ghoul had the right idea. As long as the animals were looked after and killed cleanly and kindly, there were no issues in his book!

    His comment had been made in jest, though Minion found himself quickly interested in what Fear thought of it. Joints popped grotesquely and he couldn't help the twist that came over his fishy face, features churning in light disgust. Eugh...good old rigor mortis. Slim metallic digits tapped against each other as the wave of revulsion ebbed away. "Aha..." It was instead replaced with apprehension. Gifted with higher thought, but plagued with it as well. Certainly a darker take on it, but the alien found he could not deny the truth of it. Did not Goldie, simple as she was, find happiness in merely swimming in a tank and eating fish food? Certainly a less disturbing life than the one he led for so long. "O-oh, I prefer the company of uh...well, civilization!" He offered the former man a toothy smile. "I haven't found a fish yet who's made for good conversation. Not even my own pet goldfish. If I lived in the ocean with schools of fish... I think I'd wind up pretty lonely." Such was the life of Minion.

    Onto less depressing matters, Fear's paramour sounded like a difficult case. Such impudent behavior caused the fish to chuckle, shaking his...well, whole body, as if in disbelief. "What a stubborn man. Makes the fact that you're trying to make him soup even...nicer." It showed that despite the attitude, the ghoul cared for him. It almost reminded Minion of some of Roxanne and Megamind's antics, though Fear spoke up and jarred him out of memory lane. "O-oh. I thought it'd be...the respectful moniker." He explained, tone sheepish and light. Although the corpse had hired him to be something of a teacher, the other man was technically his temporary boss. Such a role deserved a bit of formality and respect, didn't it? "If that's what you prefer! You've got it, Fear!" Minion relented with an awkward smile. The name alone was odd but to use it so personally... Well, as long as that was what he wanted. A name was a name, after all!

    Mincing ginger was apparently the job Fear was made to do, as the ghoul seemed to expertly hack and slash away at the root! The fish observed his pupil's work with a proud stance and grin, mechanical arms folding behind his back. Bits of the root flew through the air in a rather messy display, but it was nothing to be concerned about. The uh...the gleeful rasp on the other hand...

    "Hu hu! Jussst like chopping a man'sss neck,"

    Was it possible to gulp when you lived in water and breathed through a pair of gills? Science be damned, Minion felt himself swallow thickly. Tendrils wavered in an anxious pattern and the fish alien suddenly directed his attention away from the chopping. "I'm uh, glad you're enjoying yourself!" Just don't think about it, focus on the meal. His attention drifted to the Dutch Oven, metal joints squeaking softly as the alien shuffled over to keep a steady eye on the broth. Not much longer, just let him get a few more hacks and slashes in!
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    Re: A Fishy House Call

    Post by Fear on Wed Jan 03, 2018 9:07 am

    Eh, choices... As far as Fear concerned himself (and quite shallowly), he viewed the notion of free will as a double-edged and oftentimes clumsily-wielded sword. "Giving the uneducated masssssesss a voice and an option to pursssue isss a fool'sss recipe for disssassster. Take thisss notion of veganisssm," he rasped solemnly, gesturing with a rotted hand. "You know asss well asss I do that choossssing to abssstain from a life of meat and animal productsss isss nothing more than man'sss folly againssst nature herssself. It isss the illussssion of choice, for you are again right; one vegan, let alone a thousssand, will not make a difference in the natural order of thingsss. Prey isss to be consssumed by the predator - meat to be consssumed by the hungry. Thisss isss how it hasss been sssince time immemorial."  

    An otherworldly chuckle rumbled throughout the kitchen. "The living can be quite ssstupid, no?" It was followed by a succinct pause. "...No offenssse to you, of courssse." Right, Fear always seemed oblivious to present company.

    "O-oh, I prefer the company of uh...well, civilization! I haven't found a fish yet who's made for good conversation. Not even my own pet goldfish. If I lived in the ocean with schools of fish... I think I'd wind up pretty lonely."

    Oh? Now this was a decadent thought for the mind.

    "Ha ha! The woesss of not being a psssychic, hm?" Fear glanced up from his work, whatever it may be, and decided to humour his aquatic instructor. "You would be pleasssantly surrrprisssed," he hissed. "A great many of God'sss creaturesss posssssessss thought, however simple it may be. Mossst do not coalesssce their thinking into the ssspoken word, but I do believe desssiresss and emotionsss are rather ssstraightforward enough. I underssstand your plight, though." Transitioning between a civilized mind and a more animalistic one proved cumbersome at times, even for a veteran psychic such as himself. "Ah well..." Fear shrugged and went about his business, grotesque hands occupying themselves lest they become the Devil's playthings. "Life'sss easssier when you are more ignorant to itsss maddening pitfallsss. While I am not privy to the finer minutiae of your current exissstence - at leassst, not without psssychic intrusssion - I believe you are handling yourssself well enough. There isss little reassson to fix what isssn't broken, yesss?" Best to leave things as they were and let the pieces fall into place.

    Chop chop chop! WHACK! Chop chop chop! WHACK!

    The ginger root hadn't a hope or a prayer as Fear made short work of it, the air smelling heavily of spiced earth and the general aura of the kitchen brightening. Wielding a knife had that effect on the helmeted ghoul. "Oh yesss, he isss quite ssstubborn," Fear agreed, nodding stiffly along. "But it isss that sssame dogged conviction I love ssso. If only more were like him..." Alas! He wiped his knobby mitts on a nearby towel and finished mincing the ginger. Otherworldly eyes looked to Mitchell expectantly. "Yesss, that isss true, innit? Missster isss ressspectful. However, you need not trouble yourssself with formalitiesss; I am not particular." Not anymore, that is. "How isss the broth? Isss it coming along nicely?"
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    Re: A Fishy House Call

    Post by Minion on Sat Jan 13, 2018 4:56 pm

    Despite the ghoul being something of a more...stern and strict figure, Minion still found himself in agreement. Humans were meant to be omnivorous! Canines had developed in their mouth for a reason, surely not shredding greens to pieces. No, those were flesh ripping teeth. Just as Minion himself had a mouth full of fangs! "The meat industry is very flawed, but the answer is definitely not just boycotting the products. They just don't have enough power, like you said." If the choice is an illusion, is it even worth trying to pretend otherwise? After such wise words, Fear promptly stuck his foot in his mouth! ...Was there a mouth behind that helmet? Woof, that was a black-hole of a thought. Best steer clear of that one! "None taken! I have my ditzy moments, so..." The fish shrugged, hardly affected by the potentially insulting words. Back when Megamind was a villain, he remembered thinking the citizens at large were stupid for ignoring or hating his friend and brother! Besides, how did the saying go? A person is smart, people are dumb.

    Fins fluttering lightly, the alien fish hummed curiously at the idea of being psychic. To hear the thoughts of others? Well, that would solve a lot of interpersonal issues but seeing hidden thoughts was a bad idea. It was like flipping through somebody's diary! However, the power would come in handy to help communicate with the average fish! What thoughts lied within Goldy's head, or even Cleo's...? "I've often wondered about the thoughts of animals and wished I could hear them...but I don't have any experience with psychic powers. Or any powers! I'm just an alien fish in a robot suit." As if to demonstrate, Minion wriggled within his tank. "I guess it's better to just accept things as they are and...try to make some lemonade where you can, right?" Nothing was 'broken' now that he'd escaped from that impostor, and he had rebuilt his life into a better one. There really was nothing more he could ask for! Though now it made him wonder about Fear's own life. Psychic powers were a hefty responsibility. Requiring much discipline! What was it like...?

    Only the sound of violent chopping could jog the fish, who stepped a bit closer to observe. Bit by bit, the smell of the chopped liver cycled through his vents and allowed him to 'smell' it through the water. "Aah..." Minion sighed appreciatively. He quite liked the scent of ginger! Oh, but how intriguing. Fear's lover was a stubborn thing, but the conviction he carried in his heart was a trait that the ghoul loved! The fish's smile turned crooked, mind flitting to days gone by. "Conviction seems to be a desired trait in romantic partners. I think that was one of many reasons why Megamind fell in love with Miss Ritchi. She was a very sweet woman, and if she made a choice or decision...she stood by it wholeheartedly." She was most certainly not submissive or hysterical.

    With a nod to show he understood Fear's wishes regarding how he be addressed, the fish soon gasped and stepped back to the broth. "Oh right, right!" Looming over the Dutch Oven, his fish eyes stared at the contents with a critical eye. "Hm...! I think it is almost ready! It's just about to simmer, I just need to...aha!" Robotic fingers grabbed the sprigs of thyme delicately, setting them down beside the broth. With a 1/4 teaspoon ready, Minion held the sprig aloft. His metal digits pinched the plant at the top, before slowly sliding down and dislodging the leaves to trickle down onto the counter. Most of them found their way into the measurement spoon, and the rest were swept up in his hands and plopped inside. "There. Bring over the ginger and the pan of roasted veggies. It's about time for us to put it all together!" Within the Dutch Oven was the tell tale burble of a simmering fluid. "I hope you don't mind if I remember this recipe for a nice, winter day." It almost made him hungry!
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    Re: A Fishy House Call

    Post by Fear on Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:37 am

    Aye, ole Fear was a cynical bastard. He believed that if given a chance, a person was wont to repeat bad habits and ill judgement. Such is the nature of mortals - flesh-and-blood creatures driven by their impulses and prey to temptation. "Alasss," he sighed, "ssso the indussstry ssshall remain until necesssssity ordainsss change. Asss you've no doubt realized, a perssson isss sssmart and people are - frankly - dumb." Psychic, remember? But yes, it was best to kindly (ahem) forgive the ghoul's faux pas.

    "I guess it's better to just accept things as they are and...try to make some lemonade where you can, right?"

    Wiser words never spoken. Although...

    Decrepit sinew and bone loudly groaned as the towering undead pivoted upon his rancid heels to better face the toothy alien. "Perhapsss," Fear mused. Otherworldly eyes bored into his instructor, gleaning Minion's unguarded thoughts... his dreams... his fears... "If it cannot be helped, then yesss. It isss bessst not to rile the hand of fate. But if you have the power to invoke change..." Ah, now there was a novel thought, wasn't it, dear instructor? A knowing chuckle escaped the shambling cadaver's throat. "Methinksss, teacher, you are cognizant of thisss principle better than mossst. There isss no ssshame in making lemonade out of life'sss many lemonsss, but complacency leadsss to a dreary, bitter exissstence. Why sssettle for the ssstatusss quo when you can accomplisssh more?" When you can grasp the recognition you deserve? The ghoul left his words at that and decided Minion could read in-between the lines. He was, after all, a clever fish. Far too clever for the banal life of a nanny.

    "Yesss, I do recall thisss Roxanne Ritchi. My partner hasss interacted with her ssseveral timesss in the passst, asss with thisss Megamind." An odd name, that. But certainly no odder than the discrepancies flitting about Minion's thoughts. There had been a Miss Ritchi and then... not, according to the alien. His recollection of the brunette was strikingly different to that of Kev's. The contradiction elicited a desire of yearning... of resentment. How interesting... Fear knew better than to pry, however. "Faith isss crucial in any relationssship, platonic or otherwissse," he rasped, staring down at their progress thus far. This soup was coming along quite nicely! "Without faith, there can be no trussst. And without trussst, there can be no faith. It isss... regrettable that many ssseem incapable of either." A great many things were regrettable, unfortunately. Alas! These were woes for another time, a time where Fear was not in the presence of his cooking instructor, and he eagerly carried out Minion's order with posthaste. "Here you are," he remarked, stiffly offering the goodies. "The vegetablesss and ginger, jussst asss you have requesssted. And of courssse! You may adopt the recipe and ussse it to your heart'sss content. In fact, you may even bring home a bowl if you ssso desssired. I am certain my partner will not mind." Er... assuming Minion could eat a bowl of soup, considering he lived in a... well, bowl.

    ...Could he?
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    Re: A Fishy House Call

    Post by Minion on Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:04 pm

    "Human life was honestly better before the population had such a boom. People bought their meat locally, animals were raised on a farm and fed normal food. Once the world got bigger, it's like the standards were lost." Minion had been something of a stickler, very particular about where they got their food from. The fish preferred home-raised goods but sometimes you just couldn't get that on a supervillain budget! As for the intelligence of people, the alien gestured towards Fear with an agreeable nod. "Oh yes, nowhere is that more true than in a city! A person is clever, but people tends towards mob mentality." Roxanne Ritchi had more wits than the average Metro City citizen.

    Fear's movements were very...frank. He snapped. He crackled. He popped! Being a very little guy, Minion didn't have creaky bones or loud joints. The poor ghoul sounded as if he might keel over at any moment and the sound had him flinching within his tank. "Change...?" The fish echoed, the instructor quickly becoming the instructed. He mulled over the words and found himself bobbing in the tank slowly. "Too many lemons make life sour. You're right, that sometimes we cannot simply make due with what we have. Breaking the status quo was...hard. Stressful." A metal hand clasped over the center of his chest, and a fin reflected the motion. The deal with Prixlezub had been hectic, as scheming with demons would usually bite one in the butt! But instead, he'd found freedom. He had to lie to faces that resembled his loved ones, tiptoe around them and make an escape. Yet, every step was worth it. A smooth smile stretched across Minion's face, fangs poking through. "Now, I don't need to make lemonade. I have water, and it's never been clearer and more fulfilling." The smile widened, amber eyes squinting at the corpse. "I even get to help make a special dinner for a couple!" He wouldn't trade this new life for anything.

    "Yesss, I do recall thisss Roxanne Ritchi. My partner hasss interacted with her ssseveral timesss in the passst, asss with thisss Megamind."

    Aaand there went the peace. Minion sucked in a deep gasp of water, grimacing openly as his little heart began to pound frantically within his chest. Fear's partner knew them! He knew the fake Roxanne and Megamind! Robotic hands began to fan at his glass 'face' frantically, the fishy alien hyperventilating a tad. This was fine! This meant nothing! Back in the day, Roxanne and Megamind had been the talk of the town, friends with most everyone! The populace at large didn't know any better, thinking the couple was on the level. But they weren't. Calm down, Minion. This didn't mean everything was up in flames! If he went to pieces over everyone who had even been aware of the two of them...

    Bit by bit, the fish alien calmed himself down until he was no longer hyperventilating. He offered Fear an awkward grin. "S-sorry." Feeling too close to people who used to know the couple made Minion feel as if a giant searchlight was beaming through the glass. Such was the anxiety of living a lie, always waiting for the ball to drop! Ah, but Fear was preaching to the choir. Because lack of faith and trust was why the fish's relationship with Megamind fell apart! "It can be rare to find, which makes it even more precious." Much like how the ghoul knew better than to ask, Minion too knew better than to inquire about who in Fear's life was incapable of having faith. The soup was far better to focus on! "Thank you, Fear!" With a shiny (if watery) smile, he held up a spatula and tilted the pan towards the dutch oven! With deliberate movements, he scraped the roasted veggies into the broth and topped the mixture with the ginger.

    "Oh, thank you kindly! I've admittedly worked up an appetite after fixing all of this...it smells really good." The bubbling mixture within the dutch oven spoke for itself! Eating soup was a little tricky, but Minion usually tried to spoon it directly into his mouth, if not catching it the moment it dropped into the water! Though it could definitely get dirty. Changing water out was a bit of a chore! "Alright! This will cook for ten to fifteen minutes, and then we blend it all up! And top it with..." Ah right, the bacon. He swiveled towards the timer, metal body creaking lightly as Minion bent down to better see it. There were still about twenty minutes left! "When this says there's ten minutes left, we can check the vegetables and see if they're done! The bacon still has a bit to go before we get to chop it up... Perhaps we can get out the blender!"
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    Re: A Fishy House Call

    Post by Fear Today at 3:07 am

    "Human life was honestly better before the population had such a boom. People bought their meat locally, animals were raised on a farm and fed normal food. Once the world got bigger, it's like the standards were lost."

    You know, Minion had a rather astute head on his fishy... shoulders? Gills? ...Something? Point being, the alien spoke wisdom and Fear himself quietly nodded along in agreement. "I do prefer farm-raisssed or organic asss well," he rasped. "Not for myssself, of courssse, but for my partner'sss health and for the animalsss." A strange admission, especially from one such as Fear, but he wasn't always obtuse. Not everyone had the dubious luxury of becoming a superfiend, after all.

    Suddenly, the air began to change; to stir and saturate with emotion. Heartache... Resentment... Peace... Enough so that the decrepit ghoul looming before Minion lapsed into a silent reverie. His motions froze, Fear seemingly trapped in the ebb and flow of time. He saw them, yes. He saw the figures of Megamind and Roxanne; of Prixlezub and the desperate bid on Minion's behalf for freedom. It had been tumultuous. It had been frightening. And it had been liberating. After what seemed like an eternity, Fear at last spoke. "You did the right thing." The remark was simple yet profound; a reassurance to soothe whatever doubts plagued Minion's thoughts. This did little, however, to combat the wave of anxiety rippling out of the diminutive alien. "Goodnesssss," Fear commented openly, taken by surprise. He rigidly turned on those leathery heels and observed Minion perform his best rendition of a frantic headless chicken.

    "Hu hu! Relax, relax... No one isss aware of your sssecret identity," the helmeted fiend calmly pointed out. Though... "Methinksss, however, that you ssshould come clean eventually, mm. The more you uphold thisss charade, the more you will grow paranoid of thossse around you. I ssspeak from experience." Sadly...

    Fear fanned unpleasant thoughts of his own aside, and literally did the same with Minion's nervousness. "It isss alright," he hissed. "Your sssecret isss sssafe with me, Mitchell Finley." In hindsight, that last name was right on the nose, bloody hell! In any event, the soup. It was almost done, Minion seemed certain of it, and naturally Fear grew more excited by the second. "Good, good!" he commented, teetering over the alien, otherworldly eyes aglow with a burning intensity. "My partner ssshould be home from work sssoon, and I very much wisssh to sssee the look of sssurprissse on hisss face." An embarrassed pause one moment later. "...My cooking isss rather hit or misssss." But not this time! Oh no, this time Kev was going to have a lovely home-cooked meal that wasn't questionably edible. And speaking of edible... While the ghoul went to fetch the liquidiser, an idea struck Fear's rotted noggin. He reached into a nearby cupboard and withdrew a straw; it was long and made of a thick plastic, like one would find in cups and goblets from carnivals or special attractions.

    "Here we are," Fear rasped, setting the goodies down onto a kitchen counter. "I brought out the liquidissser and a ssstraw to eassse your consssumption. You may borrow it, if you wisssh. I know it will be awkward for you to eat with usss, essspecially given your condition." When it came to aliens and their incredibly odd eating habits and quirks, Fear was no stranger. In fact, he liked to fancy himself prepared for anything!
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    Re: A Fishy House Call

    Post by Minion Today at 5:08 am

    Being something of a caretaker for many years had given Minion a good amount of knowledge! Megamind's intelligence was undisputed when it came to science and technology, but the fishy alien had become learned in the ways of Earth. "No shame in that. The research has proven that organic and farm-raised foods are the most healthy option!" Not to mention the most expensive option as well, at least on Earth. Then again, what wasn't expensive in America? "Do you cook for your animals, too? I like to pamper Cleo with a cooked chicken breast occasionally. She loves it." A little smile grew at the mental image of such a frightening ghoul serving fresh steaks to his many dogs. What an interesting man, very loving and sincere despite what his appearance may suggest.

    Minion had been so frozen by his own tumultuous thoughts that he didn't realize Fear was just as battered by them. That's right, the man could read minds! Which meant if someone was freaking out around him...geez. Shame flooded him, trying to focus on Fear's words of reassurance. The right thing, the right thing. His betrayal had to be done, every other attempt to get through to that impostor had been useless! The alternative was to remain beneath his heel, forever picking up after two grown adults who seemed incapable of doing anything for themselves! No wonder they disappeared without me. The spiteful thought was sudden, but strongly felt even as shame came after like a wave following a tsunami. Between that and the fear that he'd be revealed... The alien's robotic body leaned upon the counter heavily, a hand flattening against the smooth glass of his tank. He focused on his gills, letting them ebb and flow to allow himself to gasp in the water. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." The fish apologized immediately, cringing at his own reaction like a scolded child.

    "Methinksss, however, that you ssshould come clean eventually, mm. The more you uphold thisss charade, the more you will grow paranoid of thossse around you."

    Another wave of anxiety crashed against Minion, though this time he tried to get himself under control. Focusing on his breathing, the fish twisted his body from side to side in his best imitation of a shaking head. "I don't-I don't think I can... I've already been lying for so long! Even if nobody holds it against me, what if the people who do remember me from back then..."

    "I've heard a lot of nannyfish talk."

    "Megan acts more like ya his babysitter."

    "Does he have any tracking device on him? [...] And you haven't installed another one on him?"

    Thanks to Megamind, the majority of the populace had only known Minion as being Megamind's 'nagging nannyfish'. If he revealed himself, told the truth? Would all of his progress as Mitchell be torn away, leaving Minion forever cringing in the blue alien's shadow? Forever known as 'nannyfish'? "I-I'm scared." An apropos admission to give to a man named Fear. Portal X really loved his irony, didn't he? At least Fear offered his support, pledging to keep Minion's secret to himself. The fish gave the man a half smile, truly appreciative for his secrecy. He slipped easily back to his work, and the ghoul seemed reinvigorated once he realized how soon their hard work would pay off! The strange slits in his helmet were aglow, bright as a sun. Even the sensation of the man looming over his shoulder draw a soft laugh from Minion. He was like a child who'd made his first dish! "Well, I personally guarantee that this one will be a hit. Or your money back!" Despite what a strange being this man was, his excitement was a bit contagious!

    While Fear gathered up the materials, Minion continued to keep watch over the simmering mixture to make sure it did not overcook. This dinner was coming along nicely! When the ghoul returned with the blender, he had the most curious little accessory as well! The fish tilted to the side within his tank, inspecting the straw. What was that...? Oh! He smiled brightly. "That'll work perfectly!" How marvelous, though he'd need to make sure he didn't nibble the plastic with his fangs. Chuckling sheepishly, Minion's hands worked to set the blender up. "Yeah, I suppose spooning soup into the top of my head at the dinner table wouldn't be the most incognito move." Once the blender was plugged in and the top removed, their only obstacle now was the ticking timer. Amber eyes flicked from it, to the crock pot, and finally to the ghoul who'd hired him. "...You're right, you know. I can't possibly live like...this, forever." He motioned to himself, the holographic disguise. "I enjoy being Mitchell Finley but eventually...eventually, the truth will come out. And it will be better if it came from me." Robotic arms were pulled snugly towards himself, metal fingers curling around an elbow as his body language made the robotic body attempt to seem as small as possible. "I'm just...not ready yet."

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    Re: A Fishy House Call

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