Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Special Delivery

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    GLaDOS
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    Re: Special Delivery

    Post by GLaDOS on Thu Feb 25, 2016 3:41 pm

    There it was.

    GLaDOS had stared at that lunatic long enough through the cameras in her facility when she was there (and long enough in the videos of her own memory banks when she wasn't there) to be able to recognize the slightest changes in her expression. And as soon as she brought up testing, she saw it--the mute lunatic's face lost some of its color, and she knew she had the upper hand.

    While the human was mute, her expression spoke clearly enough on its own, but of course, the moron had to provide his own unnecessary translation of it.

    Unfortunately their question was not one she wanted to answer, because the answer was...

    (She reflected briefly on the unfinished, single-button, single-cube test chamber she was still working on.)

    ...embarrassing, to say the least.

    Well, compared to her normal tests anyway. It was one of her tests, so it was genius in that way, but it was still lackluster compared to the sorts of tests she built back in the facility, not to mention unfinished.

    No matter. She could work her way around this.

    "You would like to know that, wouldn't you?" she said, looking from the moron to the lunatic. "But that information is classified... unless, that is, either of you wish to volunteer yourselves for testing."

    Here her gaze trained on the mute, looking her up and down. "I always have a slot open for quality test subjects." Her gaze then turned to the metal ball, growing a bit more disdainful. "And I suppose I could find a use for spare parts." She paused. "It is entirely voluntary, but... you know."

    And she tilted her head ever-so-slightly, her optic arranging itself into something of a sinister smile. "Cake will be provided at the conclusion of the test."
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    Chell
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    Re: Special Delivery

    Post by Chell on Mon Feb 29, 2016 7:14 pm

    GLaDOS wrote: "Cake will be provided at the conclusion of the test."

    Ohhhhh, now she'd done it. Now she was just poking a nerve. Chell bristled at the mention of cake, then bristled again at the notion that she was apparently still mad about the cake, even god knows how many years later. Especially since she could get the stuff whenever she wanted now. She didn't really go out of her way to eat it, even if  she was practically surrounded by the stuff after taking up work at the bakery--bad memories. Not to mention fattening.

    At least She hadn't brought that up yet.

    Exhaling sharply, she found herself pinching the bridge of her nose, trying desperately to get her racing thoughts in order. No... no, it wasn't exactly the cake she was angry about. She wasn't even that angry about it back in the labs, given that trusting vaguely sarcastic, unstable sounding AIs was not something she did frequently even before they tried to kill her. (Speaking of which, the whole 'attempting to murder her' thing? That made her angrier than the cake.) It was just... she was just so goddamn tired of it all. So much time had passed, enough for her to stop having nightmares every night, even to work up to functioning like a normal person again. Hell, enough time for her to have essentially forgiven Wheatley for what he'd done, and that had stung. Now she was back at square one again, listening to threats of testing and cake, and putting up a mask to show GLaDOS that she couldn't get under her skin. Or trying to, anyway.

    Wheatley had a point, though. The house did look... small, especially compared to the labyrinth that was Aperture Laboratories. Was she really planning on setting up shop in there? How was she even planning on getting test subjects? How would this even work? With her luck, Wheatley was right, and the AI did have some form of underground base. Putting two and two together, Chell could only figure that Aperture itself hadn't made the journey here along with her. Otherwise, why would she be bothering with place?

    Huh. Now that she thought about it, she could possibly use that to her advantage. Flashing GLaDOS a look, she quickly began scribbling away again, before presenting it to her enemy with a bitter smirk. It was a long shot--especially since she didn't know whether Aperture was hidden somewhere or not--but it was worth a try. "What happened to not wanting me anymore? Or did that go out the window along with your lab?"
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    Re: Special Delivery

    Post by Wheatley on Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:47 am

    GLaDOS wrote:"...unless, that is, either of you wish to volunteer yourselves for testing."

    Well, that was a lit'ral no-brainer.  "Uhhh.  Think I'll pass, thanks all the same.  We'll pass, I mean." A quick glance in Chell's direction, as if to apologize for sort of assuming she didn't want to, y'know, volunteer for the testing... thing.  Seemed like a pretty easy assumption, but, well, you never knew, did you?  You know what they said about assuming, after all:  It makes an ass out of u and m...ing.  "I mean, I think I can speak for both of us here, when I say absolutely... no."

    The longer that their imminent doom wasn't, err, imminent-ing, the more confidence the little Sphere was starting to regain.  It helped, perhaps, that Chell seemed to be getting over her shock, as well.  It was much easier to be brave when a.) Chell wasn't being mad at him and not forgiving him for the terrible things he'd done in the distant past that really didn't bear mentioning anymore these days and b.) Chell got that particular expression on her face.  That face didn't bode well at all for any menacing AIs being menacing in her general direction.  (Not that he knew this from personal experience, uhm.)

    But, most of all, was c.)...

    Ooh, he'd spaced off there for a moment.  What were they talking about now?

    "Cake will be provided at the conclusion of the test."

    "...honestly, are we still on about the cake thing...?"  Wheatley muttered to himself.  As an artificial intelligence with no tastebuds or ability to eat at all, he'd never seen the point of it, really, but then again, you know humans and their cake.  Just loved the stuff, didn't they?  Do anything for it.  

    Ohhh, good, Chell'd got her notebook out.  He was a little relieved he didn't have to be the sole translator, since, well, he was a bit rubbish at it.  And, also, GLaDOS was a bit scary.  And by a bit scary, we mean bloody terrifying.
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    Re: Special Delivery

    Post by GLaDOS on Sat Apr 30, 2016 9:20 pm

    Had the cake comment really struck a nerve with her? That was interesting. Perhaps she was starting to realize how heavy she actually was. GLaDOS realized she hadn't yet made any comments about that particular issue, but those could wait until another time, such as when she needed to motivate her to test.

    ...And of course the moron had to speak up, again. Honestly she should be used to this by now, but that voice never failed to grate on her aural sensors. "Suit yourself," she said with a slight shrug of her frame. "You'd be a fair amount more useful as a pile of spare parts, though." Or as just a nonfuctional, slightly-crushed machine lying on the pavement. She was highly tempted to make that happen, but then, she wasn't exactly in the mood to toy with the authorities here.

    When the lunatic showed her some near-unintelligible scrawlings again, GLaDOS read over them--and tensed, but only for a second, though it felt entirely too long. "I wanted you gone before," she admitted, "but that was when I had the perfectly-capable cooperative testing initiative to test for me. As of now, both they and my lab are... elsewhere. I am merely conducting a few experiments here before I am ready to return to my lab again."

    It was a lie, of course--she very much wanted to return to her lab now, but she had yet to find a way back. But she would, eventually.

    She had to.
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    Re: Special Delivery

    Post by Chell on Sun May 29, 2016 7:31 pm

    Thank you Wheatley, for your insight. And Chell meant that too, giving a curt nod of her head to back him up. She knew GLaDOS more than likely knew the answer all the same, but it always felt good to get your two cents in, especially in lieu of a voice. That had always been the best part about their team up, honestly--when all you had were cameras to make your generally pissy gestures into (which in her case usually meant destroying them), it felt good to have someone who just never stopped talking along for the ride, even if it did get kind of annoying sometimes. The two of them might not always be on the same wavelength, but they generally understood each other in regards to Her, nine and a half times out of ten. Living together and learning each others quirks only seemed to increase that, however different they remained in personality.

    Luckily, it seemed to be enough to get the AI to back off, at least for now. Chell might have been curious about what exactly she had set up inside her little house, but she refused to step one foot into it, ever.

    GLaDOS wrote: "I wanted you gone before, but that was when I had the perfectly-capable cooperative testing initiative to test for me."

    Color Chell unimpressed. Scoffing, she rolled her eyes, too angry for any form of subtleties at the moment. Did she really think she was going to find willing test subjects here, once whatever poor souls she manipulated figured out what was going on? Chell herself was extremely lucky her own excursion hadn't ended in death, though she'd had some close calls. It also didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened to all of the test subjects before her--and the scientists, for that matter. Save, potentially, for her unknown artist friend. It was really too bad she would never learn who they were, or what happened to them. They had no doubt saved her life more times than she could count.

    Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Chell snorted again, pointed and ruthless in her irritation. "Return? You do understand where you are, don't you? None of us can go back." she wrote. "If your lab isn't here already, you aren't ever going to return to it. That's just the way it is. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news."

    She wasn't.
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    Re: Special Delivery

    Post by Wheatley on Sun May 29, 2016 11:51 pm

    Wheatley didn't even have to sneak a glance at the proffered tablet with Chell's retort. The derisive snort said it all. Emboldened, the little AI Core snickered. It was probably a really, really terrible idea to taunt the larger, malevolent AI but...

    Well.

    He was built to come up with---and enact---the worst, most moronic plans in the history of ever. Not taunting her right now, that... why, that would just be going against his programming.

    "S'right. What she said," the Sphere chuckled, smugly, despite the fact he hadn't read what Chell had written and technically had no clue what she'd actually said. Even he could guess enough from context - even he knew there was no getting back to where they'd come from. Personally, he didn't care in the slightest... and so, surprisingly, found himself in the rare position of knowing something that She didn't, and that might be upsetting to Her. "You think you're so smart.... Didn't you get the, um, the welcomes speech? There's no going back, luv. That world, your lab, it's... it's been destroyed. It's in pieces, little itty bitty atoms, floating through... through nothingness, really. Poof. Gone."

    Smug, smug smug smug. Oh, he was undoubtedly going to regret this in a moment, but for this one happy moment, Wheatley was going to enjoy lording it over the larger AI.
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    Re: Special Delivery

    Post by GLaDOS on Wed Aug 31, 2016 10:05 pm

    ((OOC: ooooffff this took me way too long))

    The scoffing hadn't exactly been unexpected, but it still wasn't what GLaDOS wanted to hear. The sound of the lunatic trembling in her unfashionable shoes would have been preferable, but she could, as the idiotic expression went, roll with the punches. Even if said punches were hitting a metaphorical sore spot.

    No, that was illogical. She had no reason to be upset over something that was not true. Of course she would get back to her lab. There was no reason she couldn't.

    But then the lunatic snorted--a stupid noise--and wrote:

    The mute lunatiac wrote:"Return? You do understand where you are, don't you? None of us can go back. If your lab isn't here already, you aren't ever going to return to it. That's just the way it is. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news."

    Her fans whirred just a little faster. That is completely and absolutely wrong. My facility has withstood the worst situations imaginable and has come back in a better condition than it has ever been in before. Nothing--not even a simple mishap such as this--is going to get in the way of me getting back to testing in my facility.

    All of that would have made it from her central processor to her vocal processor had a certain idiot not activated his vocal processor first.

    His smug tone and confident chuckles were like rusty metal screeching against metal, broken mechanisms grinding against themselves--every word of it brought images to her mind of his stupid, ugly, cracked optic on an enormous screen, boasting over how much he'd ruined her facility--

    A high-pitched whining interrupted her thought processes, and she realized that, as the moron spoke, she had retracted her claw, and brought out her shockprod instead.

    The boiling anger that had caused her to activate the weapon without thinking quickly simmered down into something more controllable--but still very, very evident beneath the surface. Keeping the weapon active, though not making a move to use it, she leaned her head closer to the moron, keeping her optic trained on his.

    "You are a moron, and well over 89.937% of what comes out of your processor is incorrect, if it is not merely inane and stupid." Her head tipped slightly, as she pretended to consider his words. "But let's assume, for a moment, that you are correct. That my facility is, as you put it, 'little bitty atoms floating through nothingness.'"

    Now she leaned in closer, her faceplate tipping downward into a scowl. "I don't suppose it would be unreasonable to finish the job, and start reducing the other unimportant, former parts of the facility into atoms." The shockprod loomed closer. "While this weapon is incapable of completing such a task, it is more than capable of starting it."
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    Re: Special Delivery

    Post by Chell on Sun Sep 25, 2016 8:58 pm

    As much as it had pleased the slightly sadistic side of Chell that enjoyed seeing GLaDOS squirm for once, Wheatley's response put those good feelings on the back-burner pretty much instantly. Why why why did he have to be this way? Why couldn't she have gotten saddled with a core who's specific function was to not talk, or flip pancakes or something? Anything but the core who thought it was a good idea to provoke an AI with a shock prod.

    Whirling toward him, Chell began making quick, slashing motions across her own neck in the hopes of getting him to shut his metaphorical trap, to no avail it seemed. Predictably, it wasn't long after that the shock prods came out and even more threats were made, which would have prompted a facepalm out of her if she wasn't so convinced GLaDOS would happily make good on her claims if this went on much longer. Chiding herself for prompting this in the first place, Chell lurched forward and positioned herself between the AI and Wheatley, arms extended outward as if to push them away from each other. Despite being the one who got himself into this situations in the first place, she was quite against her mortal enemy turning her roommate into a doorstop, thank you very much.

    Once she was convinced they weren't on the verge of killing each other, Chell cast Wheatley a sharp look before turning back to GLaDOS, staring into her optic and giving her the steeliest glare she could manage. It was times like these she could really do with a voice. Letting her arms fall to her side, she let her stylus once again fly across her tablet, shoving the finished message toward her nemesis with a forcefulness that implied she really wasn't going to put up with this much longer. "That's enough."
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    Re: Special Delivery

    Post by Wheatley on Fri Sep 30, 2016 12:51 am

    For one brief moment, Wheatley felt an old familiar stirring.  Not of the Itch... but of the satisfaction, however fleeting, of getting under Her skin.  Metaphorically speaking.  He had been a little, bumbling, fumbling moron, ineffectual, neglectful, and the very next thing to useless - they'd fobbed him off on babysitting all the humans in the 'Relaxation' chambers, which was a job a rock could have preformed with about as much efficiency... He'd been small, and weak, and She'd made him feel stupid... then suddenly he'd been big, and strong, and he'd had all that power and smugness, and She was the one tiny and powerless.  

    It had been wonderful.  And it shocked him now to realize a tiny part of him had... had missed it.  

    Of course, that feeling melted as quickly as an ice cube dropped into an incinerator, because he'd forgotten one crucial detail in his smug taunting:  She was still bigger than him.  And she had a-

    !!!!  Wh- She had a shock prod?!

    It finally started to sink in that Chell had been gesturing furiously at him to shut up.  The Sphere was more than happy to finally take the hint, ceasing his babble with an audible gulp.  "Right. Shutting up now."

    Of course, knowing Wheatley, this status quo would only be quo for approximately three to five seconds.
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    Re: Special Delivery

    Post by GLaDOS on Fri Sep 30, 2016 9:18 pm

    Some ugly emotion that GLaDOS refused to register slithered through her circuits as the lunatic stepped in between her and the moron. Instead she focused on the other part of this that was bothering her--that former test subject was not the one in control of this situation and was not the one to be making the calls. GLaDOS could very well zap that moron's excuse for a processor until it fried if she wanted to, and she kept the shockprod out for a few seconds longer to emphasize that point.

    But she did turn it off, retracting it back into her hover unit. "Of course, that would be a waste of electricity, at the moment," she said, as though Chell hadn't actually written anything. Her gaze turned from the lunatic to the moron and lingered on him. "Perhaps some other time... should the need arise."

    As appealing as frying the moron's circuits would be, she did have other things that she needed to attend to.

    Two claws extended from her hover unit this time, but rather than making any threatening gestures, they simply scooped the boxed cake up from the ground. "Now assuming my order is not completely ruined, I should get to putting this away. I have a lot to do, and you two have already taken up far too much of my time."

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