Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Breakeven

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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Sun Jan 03, 2016 11:12 pm

    ((Guess who got some marshmallow Santas and snowmen in her stocking? xD))

    Aw, Kev was imitating him… He gave his own "dorky" little snort at that, noticing his mirror out of the edge of his eye. "Precise and profound, my friend," Discord agreed hearilty. "You are correct, as in all things." Seeing the slight tremble in Kev's poised fist, Discord grinned, putting his fists on his sides, puffing his chest, and giving a hearty evil laugh. Weren't they just the most perfect of evil specimens, the two of them? Plotting betrayals over tea, perfecting their witty banter, and hamming it up in the way that only villains of their stature could. Or, they were for a while… Kev's face and posture fell and Discord dropped his overly dramatic pretence in favor of lounging back with a slight smile like the contented sigh after a taxing bout of laughter. Of course, not everyone was suited for that kind of thing. He could plainly see that Kev was no villain; how could he be? Perhaps that was why he found himself trusting him so quickly… At least part of the reason, that was for sure. "Of course, all of that's just a fantasy for us. I honestly couldn't imagine any motive for you to do something like that, and I'm reformed," he said. "It's not as if I'm hiding anything particularly menacing." How could he, he hardly had any power here. He would antagonize others one of these days, but today was not that day and tomorrow didn't seem likely either. He had to cooperate if he were to survive in a world of those stronger and better versed than he.

    "Really?" How odd, considering it seemed a rather default name… "Then again, I don't know of any ponies named Kevin either… There was a John Doe, however." He seemed to remember Fluttershy speaking of him once. He wasn't sure whether he was a pony or not, but he existed. Speaking of ponies, Kev would certainly make a good one with that kind of positive outlook on friendship. Discord's only response to the whole thing was a rather cheesy grin and a small hum. It would be physically painful for him to do much more than that; he was sure of it. He may have been the first to present this particular attitude, as painful as even that was to admit, but that did not mean that it was not completely against his nature. If it was entirely up to him, he wouldn't even be interested in making amends with that feathery menace… Alas, he was stuck, unwilling to let anyone down. He had to try.

    Not exactly… Fitting in was just another thing that was against his nature. It seemed that this whole place was quite intent on forcing him out of his comfort zone. Maybe that was it, however; his comfort zone was not something many ponies at least could appreciate. Aside from the evil gods—which he certainly would like to consider himself one of, had he all his powers—and the "environmental change," he doubted he could have thought of any of that. "Oh, I can think of a thing or two…" …eventually. Most of his ideas did happen on the fly, after all. One does not simply plan chaos. The very idea was abhorrent. An idea that seemed almost as abhorrent until he thought about it for a moment was the thought of bringing Equestria's form of order to the Breach as a means of causing chaos. "Hmmm… You may be onto something there…" He lapsed into deep thought, still nibbling away at the now half-devoured Santa. It would be slow going… "Kev, you might be a genius." Unfortunately, now was not the time to reveal his evil ideas. "I'd be astonished if I could actually pull off something on the scale of my current thoughts in a place like this, however. Not just because it would be difficult, but because I would probably get bored trying," he explained, the last portion coming out flat and unamused. When did he become such a buzzkill? "And also because I'm reformed. Why would I ever want to do something like that?"
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Wed Jan 06, 2016 4:17 pm

    ((Same here! I looove me some marshmallow Snowmen and Santas~))

    Discord snorted as well, though it sounded to Kev a lot more distinguished than his own. Though that could just be due to the nature vibe Discord gave off. Though the draconequus was a bit of a jester, there was something respectable about him too. It told Kev not to write him off, no matter how funny and kooky he was. "Precise...profound...perfect." The alien's fingers steepled together in his mischief, creating the ever popular 'hand triangle of doom'. "Why thank you Discord~! You are equally as right." Kev thanked him in a decidedly more chipper tone, too chipper for any respectable villain at least. The hands fell back to his lap in a more relaxed gesture as they both dropped the act. At least it was a fair bit of fun, acting ridiculous was always a good way to cheer himself and others up, even if this charade did stir a few feelings up. Feelings that still buzzed around in Kev's scaly noggin as Discord insisted that neither of them could ever be up to anything like that. Discord was reformed and Kev? Kev was Kev, and he would never betray his friends. There was...no chance he was hiding anything menacing at all. "Yeah...of course! The only thing you could be hiding is whatever little animals are hiding back at--at the cottage." Kev stiffened for a moment, almost slipping. Almost calling it Fluttershy's cottage. Though they had been speaking of her this whole time, he still aired on the side of caution in actually using her name. It was still so...fresh, after all. "I'm not hiding anything menacing either." It was the truth! Kind of... The alien wasn't hiding anything intentionally menacing at least... In any case, his head lolled to the side and his eyes fell down to the arm of his chair, feeling some guilt for the things he was hiding. His friends would forgive him...surely if they ever found out, they would one day forgive...

    Blue eyes snapped back onto Discord with a sharp blink. "A pony named John Doe?" What an...ironic name! "Kekeke...!" The name tickled him, snickering at the thought of it. "Sounds like a name for a little deer... Are there any little deer in Equestria, like the ponies? Talking and...all that?" That sounded potentially adorable, since the ponies were already so cute. Baby deer with little white spots on their hind ends, bucks with little antlers! What a cute little pony world... Dicord's cheesy grin got a chuckle, the alien pushing aside his previous guilt. He could beat himself up about bad choices later, this was...nice! A nice visit. A funny visit, even with the subject that started this visit. Kev straightened up in his seat and focused on remembering past events for Discord, tilting his head back at the draconequus to see what he thought of it all.

    "Yeah?" Of course, it wasn't too surprising to hear that Discord may have a few more things up his sleeves. Everything Kev had named was, for the most part, very specific. Discord was a chaotic being, so of course he'd have things that were outside of the box! Though Kev couldn't begin to imagine what those things might be...

    Discord wrote:"Kev, you might be a genius."

    "..." Kev squinted an eye, staring at Discord like a parent trying to deduce if their teenager was going to throw a party in their absence. Had Kev's big, conversational mouth signed a 'world ending' check again? Would he wake up one day to find Discord looming in the sky, cackling and doing...chaotic things? Before he could really begin to worry, Discord continued talking as he nibbled his treat, expressing skepticism that he himself could ever pull off anything like that here. It'd be incredibly hard, and for Discord, boring. Plus, he was reformed! Kev let out an audible sigh of relief, rubbing the back of his head. "Phew, good. For a moment there, I was worried I'd given you an idea to end the world... Good to know it's just a 'what if', thing!" Which didn't sound too odd for somebody who was reformed. When you think one way for so long, it could be hard to think another way entirely. Perhaps considering how he would, if he could, like that, was a way to work through it. Just for old time's sake! "Me, genius that I am, I'm usually pretty satisfied like this. A job, people and animals to care for, a home... There are some things I'd change, if I could, both about myself and this place, but... I'm okay like this. I don't think I'd have the strength to do anything all...'end of the world' or 'shake things up for a month' or anything." At the mention of being a genius, he puffed his chest out and clasped a hand over the middle of his chest in a boastful manner. Much genius. Very smrt!


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Sun Jan 17, 2016 1:02 pm

    Oh yes, he was hiding oodles of small, fluffy woodland creatures back at the cottage. He could practically feel the earth shiver beneath them at the mere thought of his adorable armada, lying in wait for their chance to be unleashed upon the unwitting citizens of the Breach! Discord let out a snort of laughter at the thought. "Oh yes," he replied sarcastically. "Their harmful capabilities are unparalleled, and simply itching to be released…" Kev admitted that he didn't have much to hide either, but the aliens demeanor was raising a yellow flag for the draconequus. He wasn't so certain that Kev wasn't lying, but of course that was none of his business. And surely he wouldn't be glancing away in what could easily be seen as shame and guilt if it was anything too horrible. A successful criminal mastermind and traitor to all didn't have room for such doubt. Doubt clouds judgment and lessens killing blows. Of course, these lesser blows still had the power to wound, but that was beside the point. Better bleeding than dead. "Of course not." His tone was of the utmost confidence, reflecting little if any of his thoughts. He highly doubted he had anything to fear.

    He was content to let the subject drop in favor of Kev giving him a reason to love him. Discord couldn't help but snicker right alongside Kev, his eyes bright. Pony names…pfft! They had kept him laughing for centuries now. "Hm-? Oh, yes. Yes there are," he replied to the sudden question. "A whole herd of them at least, I seem to recall. Not certain what they name their fawns, but it's probably equally ridiculous." The ponies couldn't take all the credit for coming up with the ridiculous names in the world… He supposed he owed them at least an honorable mention for preparing him for names like 'Bun Bun' and 'Knockout' in later life. It was hard enough for him to get along as well as he wasn't with his masochistic peers as it was without being blindsided by names like those as well.

    "End the world?" Discord eyed Kev with a raised brow. "Why would I do that?! I live there! Nonono, I would simply mix things up a bit, and that is indeed a 'what if' scenario." 'What if' in this case being 'what if I figured out a way to take over the world without getting sought and thoroughly obliterated by the enraged and extremely powerful and certainly ungrateful populous.' He'd had more than enough tastes of defeat in his lifetime to be more than a little paranoid even about what he called his for the taking. Global improvement could hold its horsies; it wasn't like the possibility was going anywhere. "Hmm. Yes, that is a rather popular opinion, it seems." One he, naturally, didn't share. At all. There were only so many ways he could vary his routine with a nine to five, and he was already exhausting his options. If he didn't need the job, he certainly wouldn't have kept it for so long. Of course, now he needed it even more, seeing as…well, he didn't need to go into all that. Planning really sucked the fun out of a lot of things; he'd rather play it by ear and be astonished and challenged by the results. Much more engaging. No need to plan for the future, none whatsoever. "In any case, I can assure you that you would never have any part in any hypothetical evil plans I may or may not formulate and certainly would never carry out." No, if he had a soundboard henchman, it would be someone genuinely bad. Someone with the stomach for it, at the very least. "But you have nothing to hypothetically worry about because, again, reformed."
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Fri Jan 22, 2016 12:31 pm

    "Hahaha!" The alien openly laughed, even slapping his palm across his knee! The laughter died down into a hearty snicker, shaking his head. "Harmful, ahaha...that's priceless~!" Fluttershy's animals, vicious animals just waiting to be released, itching to cause trouble and bring down society! Oh, it was rather unbelievable. Fluttershy could very well have a giant seven-headed serpent that ate the blood of kittens and puppies, and Kev would doubt the dangerous nature of it by dint of it being a creature under Fluttershy's care. While the yellow pony had a plethora of animals in her cottage, some of which probably were dangerous, there was something so...odd about animals belonging to Fluttershy being like caged monsters. Bears and eagle jerks aside, Discord was likely kidding, as Kev himself had. The scaly alien leaned forward in his seat, hands clasped together across his lap as he decided to play along. "A regular zookeeper, aren't you? Keeping such creatures at bay. So impressive!" Kev was unaware of his tells, merely hoping that Discord wouldn't catch on or realize anything was wrong, and become disgusted with him. Kev even stiffened for a moment, waiting for the draconequus' response and the response he received...

    The Kryptonitanian let out a small sigh, relieved. Whether Discord had any suspicions or not, he sounded confident. He sounded...like he had faith in Kev. The little alien's eyes became a little shimmery, watering up. Discord trusted him...as much as that made him feel guilty, it also made him feel...good. Just hold on to this feeling... Kev gave Discord a firm nod, acknowledging what Discord had said, as well as the things that went unspoken. An arm settled onto an armrest, leaning on it to take a more leisurely pose. "Oh wow!" The ponies were cute enough, imagine what the deer were like! Little prancing critters with stubby antlers and little hooves...! Discord had no idea what names the deer may have, though at the mention of the names likely being ridiculous, a little light bulb pinged in Kev's head! ...Not literally of course, the alien lacked Discord's special powers. Between ridiculous names for deer and the holiday season... Kev kicked his legs for a moment and giggled to himself. "As ridiculous as 'Dasher', 'Dancer', 'Prancer', and 'Vixen'?~" Perhaps even a Rudolph! "Kekeke...!" Ah, but Gods forbid any of the fawns actually have those names... That'd be a strange coincidence.

    Kev's head cocked to the side, caught off-guard by Discord's incredulous response. "Well..." The reptilian shrugged his shoulders, almost a little confused himself. "You make a good point, but that never really stopped anybody else..." All of those fantastical creatures and beings Kev had named lived on the Breach, but they all decided to destroy the place. The way they shook things up wasn't nearly as fun or joyful as Discord's methods... "Mixing things up sounds promising though!" Sometimes the place could do with a little change...so long as it was harmless! Even if the majority of people had the same mindset as Kev, preferring peace and domestic life. Crossing one leg over the other, the alien tilted his head thoughtfully. A foot bobbed as he pondered. "I guess it is a popular opinion...well, when you fight a lot to defend this place, you start to crave the...peace and calm. It's nice. Besides, it's not like I have much to do in my life aside from taking care of my animals, my friends, and the store." So why not prefer the domestic life then? He had no powers like Discord to put to use. He was simply Kev.

    The reassurance was appreciated, the alien sighing deeply through his nose as he seemed to deflate into the chair. "Good, good! Thank you. I'm sure your plans, hypothetical, evil and good alike, are great plans! I'd just...hate to accidentally mess things up in a big way like that. But, I'm glad I hypothetically have nothing to worry about!" Kev winked playfully. "You really are reformed, huh? Not even making silly hypothetical plans can tempt you...that's pretty great, Discord."

    ((Sorry this one took a while!))


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Fri Feb 19, 2016 8:42 pm

    ((You took a while? Heh... *awkward grin*))

    He certainly felt like a zookeeper from time to time. Or at least a zookeeper's assistant… He was used to animals, of course; he had been living in Equestria before ponies had ever settled there, after all. He couldn't say that he was used to living in such close proximity to them for such long periods, though. That one was new. "Oh, I try," he accepted with a bashful flip of his paw. "Somepony's gotta do it."

    Kev's response to the draconequus's lack of worry wasn't exactly confidence-inspiring, but they both let the moment pass without comment; Kev wasn't willing to talk about whatever was going on, and Discord wasn't worried enough to bother him for details. Instead, they moved on to chatting about world building. Kev seemed positively fascinated by the concept of civilized deer, once again reminding Discord of just how different Equestria was from the Breach and what its citizens are used to. And although he didn't know of any deer names to share, Kev seemed to have an idea of how to ridiculously name the next generation of deer… An idea ridiculous enough to earn itself a loud groan as Discord went slack over the couch. "Oh Celestia forbid!" Despite his behavior, however, he was grinning broadly at the thought. Who was to say that there hadn't been actual deer named that in the past, though? It would certainly explain a thing or two, but even so, it was still a positively ludicrous notion. Ponies would have to really step up their game to compete with that.

    Discord simply shrugged his shoulders at Kev's puzzled response. "Well, I'm not anybody." He paused for a moment at the possible implications of that statement, then promptly shrugged them off as easily as Kev's confusion. He then promptly beamed at that seal of approval. "One on board, who knows how many more to go!" he said with a wink. "I oughta start a petition." No one can argue with a bunch of random strangers' signatures; Discord 2k16, everypony! (I am the spirit of chaos, and I approve this message.)

    "That makes sense. Most don't appreciate someone tracking mud all over their newly cleaned carpet," he reasoned. Thankfully for the maid, he was aiming for glitter. Or just replacing the whole carpet. Whichever. "Hmm." He found it depressingly easy to empathize with that thinking. He imagined his life would be that boring as well if he never made the effort to do what he was programmed to. "If that suits you, then you go right on ahead with that." At least for the time being, seeing as the world wasn't being fully consumed by chaos just yet. After that, who could say? It would be hard to maintain any form of routine when none of the clocks behaved and the day-night cycle could no longer be relied on as a gauge.

    The thoroughly reformed draconequus smiled cordially throughout Kev's response to the reassurance that his plans were purely hypothetical. He couldn't quite tell whether he out to be offended or flattered… Yes, his plans were amazing. But, evil? Mess things up? His plans were perfectly  saintly (at least from his perspective) and a definite improvement from the ordinary! Aloud, he merely accepted what Kev was saying. "Thanks! I always thought I was great," he replied with a wink, puffing his chest out. Yeah, he was reformed! Nopony could doubt that. "Oh, if the ponies back home could see me now… They'd probably think I was just putting on an act." The mere notion was simply ludicrous! Like he had any reason or need to pretend around his friends. He chuckled and casually bit off another piece of his half-finished santa. "As if I'd stoop so low."
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Fri Feb 26, 2016 7:31 pm

    ((Oh it's fine, I'm glad to see you back!))

    A very modest zookeeper, despite almost seeming like a braggart! Discord certainly wasn't shy about his powers, nor what he was capable of at his full strength, but when it came to tending the animals... The draconequus was downright sheepish! Probably because the poor guy was still so new to it... "I'm glad they have some...pony like you." Kev said reassuringly, hesitating on the odd phrase commonly used by Fluttershy and Discord. It was very lucky for Fluttershy's animals that Discord had come when he did. Fluttershy was almost like a shut-in. What would have happened to her animals if she had disappeared and Discord wasn't here? How long would it have taken for Kev to realize she was gone, and where would the animals go? They probably would have scattered back into the wild...

    Thankfully, Discord seemed to understand the reference of the reindeer names! If the joke had earned him a confused stare, Kev wasn't sure he'd be able to explain the names without the joke becoming critically unfunny and boring. Instead, the chaos spirit groaned, hoping that none of the reindeer had such ironic names. Despite his words though, Discord was grinning! It made the alien snicker, eyes bright and cheery. "The deer parents would basically be begging for their kids to be locked out of any deer games, huh~?" Particularly if they gave their fawn the name Rudolph.

    "No, you definitely aren't everybody or anybody." Kev agreed with a nod of his head. Discord was a bit strange, perhaps even perplexing, but he was also unique and rather fun to be around! What Discord said really was simple; don't destroy the world if you live there. And yet things could still get so complicated. The important thing right now was that Discord had no intention of causing permanent damage like that. The alien perked in his seat at the idea of Discord making a 'petition' on changing things up. "You could call it the 'Petition of change'!" Kev jokingly suggested, before actually turning thoughtful. "You know, I bet X would actually sign it, if you had a real petition. He seems like a guy that likes to shake things up. Not in a bad way but...just in new ways. I think if you ever met him, you two could have some things in common." With his visit to the Penitentiary in the back of his mind, Kev could definitely spy a few similarities. Making objects appear, changing how they looked... All Discord had to do was literally turn into someone else and give Kev's cheek a pinch and they could be like brothers!

    The carpet metaphor was a new one on Kev, but rather accurate. When that carpet gets dirty, it gets really dirty! It takes enough time to beat it clean again, the last thing anyone wants is to set down a clean carpet...only to have it stomped on all over again. "I'm grateful just to have a clean carpet in general, so letting it be clean for a while would be very nice." Alas, life was messy... Sometimes it cared not for clean carpets. Kev nodded his head in agreement with Discord, before gesturing back to the draconequus with a wave of his hand. "And the same for you too! I may not completely understand some parts of chaos but...it suits you. You should do what you feel is right." Even if what he felt was right, might involve a bit of mischief!

    Ah, there was that bragging that felt more natural on Discord, especially a joking sort of bragging! The alien rolled his large eyes playfully in response to the wink. "Be careful not to get a big head, Discord!" Kev teased with a wink of his own, chuckling. Ah, but it seems the ponies of Discord's world might be a bit more skeptical of Discord's reformation. If they were here, the draconequus postulated, they'd think he was putting on a show. A fake reformation, to pull the rug out from beneath their little hooves when they least expected it. "If they're so skeptical, then if any of those ponies come here, know what you should do?" The scaly alien leaned forward, a hand to the side of his head despite not having a mouth. "You should put on an even bigger act to get on their nerves! Sell cookies, help old women across streets, be as obnoxiously kind as you can to really rub it in~!" He snickered, a mischievous and evil little sound. If someone doubts your moral alignment, turn into Mother Teresa!


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Sun Feb 28, 2016 6:33 pm

    Heh, sheepish… Kev's coining of "somepony" made Discord smile slightly in spite of himself. (It seemed that that was going to be a tougher habit to break than he had anticipated.) If only the animals thought the same way as Kev was, maybe he wouldn't be having nearly as hard a time with them. They obviously had grown to appreciate Fluttershy's care and protection, seeing as they allowed themselves to be loved in a similar way to common pets despite being largely independent. How they were able to stand that was an enigma…

    "Oh yes." Those poor little fawns would be certainly taunted out of joining any reindeer games. Lay off the booze while naming your kids, everypony. "Even I would pity them," he added. And that was saying something, given how exclusion was just one of many forms of everyday discord. His influence wouldn't even be necessary to exploit that kind of situation.

    As some random guy had once said, "a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a taco." In other words, a perplexing fiesta! Who doesn't like tacos? Aside from the alicorn princesses, anyhow. Wait, what were they talking about? Oh yes, what they always talk about; taking over the world. "Hmm… Not bad, but I think we could do better. How about 'fo Canhge Ptitoien'?" he mused aloud. "Or, for the sake of simplicity and adequate labeling, just 'Egnahc fo Noititep.'" Well, it was better than "Petition of Change." That was just too ordinary; you have to start with throwing the little things off balance first then work up from there. "Of course, it won't be a petition for very long if our local god himself signs it. If that were to happen then it'd basically be law." How exciting!

    "I suppose," he replied thoughtfully. A clean carpet was pretty nice, but… "I personally don't mind a few dust bunnies here and there." Why would he? They're cute. Besides, a completely clean carpet could get boring to look at after a while; usually just one color or pattern, much too consistent, no character whatsoever… Boring. "What's the cleaning mare- or, rather, lady, going to do if the carpet stays perfectly clean all the time? What if she likes doing her job?" Extended metaphors aside, it seemed as if they were all loving and tolerating each other equally despite their difference in preference. "Indeed!" He was just destined to give the cleaning lady a hard time. A little hard work never killed anypony.

    A big head? "Who, meeee?" Of course, just as he oh so innocently said that, his head swelled like a balloon and lifted him off the couch. With an unamused expression, he pulled a pin out of thin air and popped his comically oversized head with a whine of air like, well, a deflating balloon. Without that to hold him aloft, he fell back onto the coach heavily, bouncing once before stilling, his expression still completely unamused but surprisingly intact despite the previous popping. "…I see your point." You'd think he'd learn to control all that hot air after so long, but you'd be wrong.

    "Oh?" As Kev prepared to give him the whopper of all advice, Discord couldn't help but eagerly lean in with a conspiratorial smirk, his head turned and ear pricked to catch what Kev told him. And that smirk only grew when he heard what Kev had to say. "Brilliant! I like the way you think," he said with a devilish snicker of his own. Let's see those goody-four-shoes ponies call him evil with a little old lady on one arm and a poor orphaned baby bluebird snuggling into the other! He'd kill them all…with kindness! He'd be so reformed they'd have to give him a shiny magic necklace. Or, they would if he had a cutie mark… 'Hard to immortalize one's rump picture like that when one doesn't even have one to begin with. Oh well. "One does not simply accuse an Eagle Scout of bad behavior."
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Thu Mar 10, 2016 3:47 pm

    ((Gah, I am SO sorry this took so long!))

    Kev chuckled openly, giving Discord a wink. "Even you, huh?" Who knew the way to Discord's sympathy was having a silly name? A very narrow niche, to be sure, but still one to remember. There may yet be a heart of gold thumping in that furry brown chest! If not gold perhaps...a nice silver or bronze?

    Naming petitions was very delicate, almost like an art. One needed a catchy name that properly summarized the cause. Needless to say, the scaly alien had no experience doing such a thing... But Discord seemed to! The suggested names earned the draconequus a look of pure awe. Were he to see the names written, Kev might have picked up that the 'names' were an anagram and the same words backwards. Only by hearing it though... Well! The Spirit of Chaos may as well have spoken an entirely new language! "Ooh... I like the sound of 'egnahc fo noititep', myself!" Kev attempted to replicate Discord's pronunciation as best he could with telepathy, finding the words to be poetic. Maybe even beautiful! "Law...?" Idly, he scratched the bottom of his chin with an index finger. He'd always aligned the laws of the world to be associated with the ISOs, though since those were pretty much extensions of X himself... "I didn't think of it like that. That'd be neat, to be part of making a law!" It was very exciting indeed! The law would likely be one that the Portal would want a personal hand in making reality.

    Scaly dome tilting just as thoughtfully, he pondered his guest's words. "Having a few dust bunnies does give you something to do... My own experiences have been less dust bunny and more...animal crap dragged in off of the bottom of someone's shoes." Kev's tone took an admittedly more bitter tinge to it. Kidnapping, death, painful injuries, and the end of the world. At times, it simply became too stressful. Their little metaphor was becoming convoluted, and he responded with an amused look in his eyes. With one brow arched up, he snickered lowly. "Well...depends on the cleaning lady. Sometimes the cleaning ladies like their job for all the wrong reasons. Like...cleaning the rug just so that she'll be thanked, to the point of getting upset when she isn't admired. If you like cleaning rugs simply because you believe a rug shouldn't be left soiled and dirty, I can admire that. And place my trust in them, knowing they'll always clean the rug even if I can't." He offered an apologetic shrug, becoming aware of just how twisted this was becoming. So long as Discord wasn't alienated by it...

    Before he could answer the likely rhetorical question, Discord's head began to swell up! Kev's eyes bugged out, an alarmed gasp escaping from him as both hands folded over his face. The first thought that came to mind was an allergic reaction. Once he saw that Discord's noodly body was floating up like a balloon, he caught onto the shenanigans and snorted behind his fingers. Hovering for a moment, the reformed spirit pulled out a pin and with a light little jab, popped his own head! Kev flinched, inwardly very thankful that Discord's head didn't pop in quite the same manner of a balloon. Seeing his face stretched and limp, in little pieces and resembling bacon... U-u-ugh... A shiver squirmed up his spine at the very idea! A hissing whine of air sounded, attracting the attention of the dogs in the backyard who howled and barked at the offensive noise. Once all of the air was gone, the draconequus landed back upon the couch and resumed his languid position with a stoic look on his face. "Hehe, point!" The alien snickered again, tossing a wink Discord's way before leaning forward. "I'd hate to play poker with you, Discord! How you can keep a straight look on your face throughout all of that is beyond me."

    Oho, the offer of advice had snagged Discord's attention quite well! Not to say he was being inattentive before, but the way he leaned in like that... Kev seemed to have tickled his chaos bone with his advice. The alien only became more pleased at Discord's reaction, squinting his eyes like a content cat. "Hehehe...~ Thank you, Discord! Coming from you, that's quite the compliment!" Which was, in itself, a compliment too. To have Discord, a creature with a very unique and amazing kind of thought process, say he liked the way Kev thought... Well, that could be concerning, but Kev preferred to think of it in a nicer manner. "I'm the type to give people chances. Especially if that eagle scout used to be an evil ruler or something... The right support can really make a difference." So if any ponies decided to drag Discord through the mud, turn their snouts up at him? Well, the draconequus was within his rights to be incredibly obnoxious, in Kev's book!


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Sun Apr 03, 2016 11:44 pm

    Discord nodded gravely. It would be incredibly difficult to make a quality first impression with a name as unfortunate as that, and he knew how important it was to make a good first impression. If he hadn't made such an amazing first impression on the royal sisters, how would he have ever earned his title of "formidable villain"?

    "Egnahc fo Noititep it is, then. I'll get right on that," he agreed with a smirk. He supposed it was somewhat poetic, in a way… What better way to name a petition of change than practically warping reality just to say its name correctly? Oh, beautiful irony… Kev's next comment broadened Discord's smirk. "Well then, I suppose I'll have to let you know when I draw it up so you can be a part of it."

    Discord snorted. "Well that certainly would take the fun out of it… Dust bunnies are much more adorable than animal crap," he replied, his nose screwing up at the thought. Excrement was less "friendship speed-bump of the week" and more "season premiere/finale baddie." And with any degree of regularity, that would get extremely exhausting. It only happened once or twice a season for a very good reason, and even Discord didn't want to mess with that too much; too much competition for the heroes' affections any other way. "That is a good point…" Thanks was always nice and preferred, but getting greedy about the gratitude was generally viewed as an unsavory quality in a hero. Discord couldn't care less about how unsavory that greed was, however; he would freely admit to not being that reformed. If he was going to get squished in his efforts to save not one but two kingdoms at once, he needed some gratitude. Which he had never really gotten. He was still a little miffed about that, now that he thought about it… Anywho, "It would seem that cleaning duty is a wonderfully accurate metaphor for this sort of thing, given the short straws we've frequently drawn… How many people can say that saving the world is a mundane chore?" He remembered a time when he could count them on just his claws.

    Kev was still slightly alarmed by his shenanigans, but Discord wasn't overly concerned about that given how quickly he was learning to just play along. He even grasped a subtle pun, bravo! "It's a talent," he sighed, examining his talons for a moment. "Hardly anything surprises me anymore. Can't say I've played too many honest games of poker, though." He didn't generally count references and cameos, and he didn't really know of anyone he could sit through more than a single hand with without it descending into unruly chaos. (Not that that was necessarily a bad thing, of course.)

    Well, well, well… There was hope for him yet, it would seem. "I can tell. No wonder so many seem to like you to some degree," he responded with a slight grin, "It's hard not to." It took him a moment to realize what he had just said. When it dawned on him, however, his brief stunned expression made it more than clear that he wasn't used to just handing out compliments like that one. He hadn't even really thought about it beforehand, he had just said it. Nevertheless, he didn't withdraw it… He merely glanced about for a moment as if checking that only the two of them had heard it, and bit off half of his remaining Santa, leaving only his feet and part of his legs.
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Thu Apr 07, 2016 6:45 pm

    "Splendid!" Kev clapped his hands together eagerly, tapping his fingertips together before steepling them before his chest. Egnahc fo Noititep, it was poetic. Groundbreaking. Beautiful. ...Alright, maybe all of that was hyperbole. Still, the draconequus had a way of making this sound rather exciting. Must be the name choice! "Please do! I'd love to see how this goes." If nothing else, it'd definitely give Discord something to do. Going from a powerful Chaotic spirit, to a quite de-powered one, must leave one feeling rather antsy. Hopefully Kev could one day see Discord at his full power. Unable to return the smirks, the alien's eyes crinkled in a happy squint.

    Life always had bumps in it, but sometimes those bumps turned into gigantic craters and spiky mountain peaks. "I prefer the dust bunnies too. And I guess there's been less..."animal crap" lately but some things...tend to stick for a while." Finger quotes were included, as Kev's tone turned rather wistful. As strange as the metaphor was turning, animal crap was rather astute for a comparison. Even when you think you've scrubbed it off the bottom of your shoes and off of the rug, you may find that some had slipped where you could not reach. Similarly, certain experiences had a way of lingering in one's mind.

    Before his mind could wander, Discord brought up a good point. One that drew a small chuckle from the scaly alien. "That's true. I know things in your world got like that at times? At least, that's the impression I got from what I've heard..." He rolled a wrist as he spoke, trying to conjure up clearer memories. The things he'd picked up either from Discord or Fluttershy involved the terror of Tirek, Discord's own mischief, and Princess Luna, who'd once been evil. Though nowhere near as frequent as it was here, it still sounded to be something that came up more than once. "But back on my planet, the worst thing we'd ever had to go through was already in the past. So...the most I ever did was just usual day by day things. I'd never helped to 'save the world' before I came here." And his first experience saving it was definitely one way to break into the 'saving the world' business. "I've been able to take a back seat, lately. I don't need praise, or gratitude, but I do need a break. And...I hope that hasn't made it harder for people like you who've had to get involved since the last time I was in the fray." Kev seemed almost sheepish, avoiding Discord's gaze. He knew that with his experience, he could have helped when the thorns came down and began to cause trouble. Perhaps things would have moved smoothly. Perhaps Nym wouldn't have died... As much as the lean green bean needed a break, he felt selfish taking one. Yet, the idea of running head first into the next disaster wasn't appealing either. Oy...

    Kev's dark blue eyes joined Discord's in scanning the talons of his bird claw...paw-hand? An idle motion that simply came from following Discord's eyes, he soon snapped his gaze back up to the draconequus' face. "I haven't played too many games of poker either. I tried once, but it was really confusing." But as for nothing surprising Discord anymore? "You're probably used to doing all of the surprising anyway." Kev commented with a wink. With powers like his, who could possibly get the drop on Discord? Well, perhaps X could... As for the compliment, it seemed Discord still had more to give! Commenting that he could see why people seemed to like him, the spirit of Chaos added that it was hard not to. Emerald scales turned a brighter shade of green, flushing at the compliment before choking back a snicker at the look on Discord's face! It was as if he'd been caught stealing something. Or in his case, perhaps the analogy that worked best was 'as if he'd been replacing stolen goods'.

    Though he had been reformed, it seems the draconequus was still getting used to handing out genuine compliments. Kev didn't comment on the brief stunned look, nor on the way he seemed to look around for eavesdroppers. Instead, he sat there with a sappy, warm feeling blossoming in his chest. His eyes closed contently, and after a few moments he looked back to Discord with a content look in his orbs. "Thank you, Discord. Sincerely. I really appreciate that. I feel the same for you too!" Kev chuckled and leaned forward in his seat. "I think your sense of humor matches with mine rather well, because its hard not to like you either! You're funny, you're kind of magnetic, and you bring a nice energy into the room! You've really brightened my mood, today."


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Wed May 18, 2016 10:47 pm

    ((I'M FREAKING DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL. Back to your regularly scheduled post-gramming. ;D Have you gotten through your finals yet?))

    A true statement, but not a very pleasant one either literally or metaphorically. He still had some of one particular excursion stubbornly stuck to his hoof… "Oh certainly; Equestria was no stranger to practically apocalyptic events whatsoever," he replied with an almost overeager nod of his head. "Some of them weren’t even my fault." That statement came equipped with its very own smug smirk. It was a fairly true statement as well; once he thought about it—and he certainly had—he realized that he had been involved in, if not the cause of, about half of the major end-of-the-world scares that the ponies of Equestria often spoke of. His original reign, his return, his other return, the near-death of the Tree of Harmony, Tirek, and he may or may not have played a subtle hoof in that whole Nightmare Moon thing… Yes, he was a celebrity.

    He couldn't say he had ever been into that whole "saving the world" thing either. He was more of an "actually save the world by making it ten times better" kind of guy himself. The former was mostly left to the girls, who never failed to rush headlong into danger when the need arose. And that guilt that Kev was obviously feeling as a result of his bench-warming was definitely a characteristic they all had in common. "No need to explain; if I could elect to leave my gloves and sponge in the closet, I certainly would. Who wouldn't want the option?" he said with a dismissing wave of his paw. "You've done your share, let the next generation handle the rest." What was Kev supposed to do, take on the world for the rest of his life? Discord doubted that he had ever signed up for that duty in the first place. Had any of them? Judge Fear definitely wasn’t "saving" anything for kicks.

    "Well… I wouldn't say all—" The flick of his wrist as he spoke sent several aces flying from his "sleeve" and onto the table between them. He stared at them for a moment before grinning cheesily at Kev. "Okay, most." He hastily whisked the cards away; they hissed defensively and fluttered away from his shooing like butterflies, vanishing soon afterwards in small flashes.

    As if the compliment wasn't strange enough, that response nearly made him choke and really made him stutter. He quickly covered for that, though, lounging back in his seat, and closing his eyes with his nose up and to the side. "I always knew I was great," he remarked, tossing the last bit of his Santa into his open mouth, still not looking even in Kev's direction. His eartips actually felt a little warm… Curse that faulty air conditioner. "It's nice that somepony is finally recognizing that; I knew those ponies back home were odd."
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Sat May 28, 2016 11:39 pm

    ((Oh wow, congratulations! Do you have plans for college? If so, good luck! It might be hard, but it is definitely worth it! As for me, I actually already graduated high school and college! Been out of school for about a year. So luckily, no finals for me~ How were your finals?))

    Snickering, the alien almost found it funny how the land of Equestria could remind him of Portal Breach so. "It's so interesting, because if you didn't know any better you wouldn't think that ponies have been through so much. Every pony I've met has been very bubbly, friendly, and kind." Not exactly the usual picture of citizens who had been through Apocalypse after Apocalypse. A soft snort sounded as the draconequus pointed out that some of those events weren't even his fault. Thinking it to be more playful than perhaps Discord had intended, Kev nodded his head in agreement. "I guess some universes just breed conflict, huh? Especially the world ending kind." Chaos spirit, ponies in a moon, changelings... Here's hoping those sorts of events wouldn't follow Discord here. A reunion between the draconequus and Tirek would just be awful, from the sounds of it.

    "No need to explain; if I could elect to leave my gloves and sponge in the closet, I certainly would. Who wouldn't want the option? You've done your share, let the next generation handle the rest."

    Such kind words, filled with a firm understanding. Perhaps Fluttershy had rubbed off on Discord more than he realized... Either way, his reassurance was like a soothing balm on the heated bruise that was Kev's guilt. It felt nice to have his feelings validated. The alien rubbed the back of his neck bashfully, glancing back at his guest and offering him a small nod. "Thank you. After a few years, my gloves have holes in them and the sponge is ripped and scummy. They're a little overdue for the closet..." Fingertips danced across smooth, cool scales in thought. Disaster after disaster, death upon death, and a whole slew of issues... Kev had done his share for now. "Maybe, when I'm feeling up to it, I can charge back into the fray and help again." Came the tentative yet optimistic response. Even if there were many others who could take on the task of saving the world, the scaly man felt a sense of obligation. He did his best to ignore it for now, the future an uncertain and unsteady one for him. A break was great but if the time came and the world needed his help... Kev would come running in an instant.

    Very much like a magician, a flick of the draconequus' wrist sent cards flying from seemingly nowhere, the simple paper landing on the table. Kev peered over to look at them, snorting lightly as he recognized them as cards that were used in those poker games. He arched a dubious brow at Discord's grin. "Uh-huh. Only most." The alien sounded skeptical, though in a decidedly playful way. With a chaotic bag of tricks up his sleeves, it was almost guaranteed that getting the drop on him was quite difficult. Just look! He craned his head to get a better look as his guest shooed at the cards. In a rather un-cardlike behavior, they hissed and flapped away, soon after dissipating in a flash of light. The commotion had drawn the attention of Shally once again, trotting back with a mangled feather still sticking out of her chops. After the cards disappeared into nothingness, the calico's ears flattened and she fixed the draconequus with an irritated look before leaving the room with a haughty flip of her head.

    Discord was not used to compliments in any fashion it seemed. Neither giving them, nor receiving! Kev's guest turned his face away, though he remained lounging leisurely across the couch as the last bit of chocolate was easily gobbled up. Great indeed, with such powers and a lively personality. Of course Discord was aware of such a thing, though it was a shame the ponies were not. Might have to do with his past of course, but still... "Or maybe I'm just odd enough to recognize greatness when I see it." He joked idly, one leg crossing over the other.


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Mon May 30, 2016 11:54 am

    ((Lucky! I wasn't sure if you were still in school or not. Finals went pretty well for me! :) As for college, I'm going to start local to get my gen eds out of the way and then move somewhere else for the rest. ;) ))

    Yes, he supposed that the ponies had been through quite their share of apocalyptic events... “True, but I suppose it could make sense when you consider that their form of apocalypse doesn't usually include massacre of any kind,” Discord explained. “This summer I actually died; all Tirek did was betray me and steal my magic.” It's typically much easier to keep a bright happy smile on your face when death isn't on the table, after all, and back in Equestria, it usually wasn't. “Hmm... Do they? Every dimension I’ve seen has been in it’s own variety of discord, but discordant nonetheless.” Discordant was even generous for some of them; some were downright Ti-wrecked, which is never any fun at all. He enjoyed a fair share of trouble every now and then, but there was a difference between trouble and trouble. Something about actually being defeated just took the fun out of it all.

    “That's the spirit.” Personally, he didn't understand how not being a martyr could make someone feel guilty. Surely their own happiness mattered just as much as everyone else's? And yet, especially now that he was friends with Twilight and the gang, he saw this kind of guilt all the time. He had even manipulated Twilight with it once. He supposed it was just one of those “hero” things that “protagonists” got to experience,  meaning that he blissfully would never have to deal with that sort of thing, a fact he was immensely grateful for. Unfortunately, Kev did not seem to have the same luxury... It really was a wonder that anyone was a hero these days when the price of being one was so high. And yet, here they were, not-so-willfully throwing themselves into the fray. Even he had at a certain point, considering that he hadn't had to help the White Queen once he was there. He could have skipped the boat ride and the labyrinth, but instead had chosen to help the queen. Apparently his company really was beginning to rub off on him... Oh joy...

    Kev’s sarcastic response to his little mishap only made him shrug with a snicker. And it would seem as if his card trick had upset a certain feline... She had been so quiet that he had almost forgotten she was there with them. Tucking his wing in under his arm protectively, he suppressed a hiss  out of fear that it would antagonize her further and thus draw her back to mangle more of his feathers. “Perhaps next time I'll bring her an actual toy so she won't feel the need to use me as one instead,” he remarked darkly, stroking his remaining feathers. At least he didn't have any cats at home (that he knew of)  and therefore didn't have to deal with this kind of abuse on a regular basis.

    That admission made Discord send a sly grin over towards Kev. ”Oh yes,  we're a couple of oddballs you and I...” he chuckled. “But don't worry; it's the fun kind of odd.” What kind of world would it be if they weren't there to make things interesting? Certainly a kind of world he had no interest in living in. How boring Equestria must be without him... But alas, it would seem this world was in more dire need of his assistance. Assistance he would be more than happy to provide in full once he got his powers back, hence their little petition.
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Fri Jun 03, 2016 3:32 am

    ((Good to hear! I definitely don't miss doing finals. Starting local sounds like a good plan! Hope you have a good time in college!))

    Aha, right. Death and murder wasn't a usual thing in pony world. Apocalypses were straining, but if the worst that could happen was just an injury... Well, anybody could handle an injury or two! Even Tirek, one of the bigger threats from what Kev had heard, betrayed Discord and stole his magic. Perhaps emotionally painful, physically draining...but as long as the magic was given back, he'd be fine. And from what the alien could tell, the draconequus didn't carry any hangups about being betrayed. "That's a good point...in a way, dying isn't so bad here because you can come back. I mean, I've died four times and I can definitely say that you get...used to it." Kev rolled a wrist casually. "But, like you were saying, when it's a massacre... The possible death of everyone on the Gamma...that's where it gets pretty serious." Even this Tirek apparently wasn't about to kill hundreds at a time... So in a way, despite what ponies went through, they got off a little easy when it came to trauma. Considering Discord's words about how most worlds were in discord, the alien's brows furrowed lightly. "Hmm...well..." A hand reached back to scratch idly at his neck. "You seem to have more experience so you are probably right. My kind didn't exactly...'get out much' when it came to our dimension, so for all I know everybody was in a constant state of chaos. While we were sort of isolated on our own planet." Ah, the joys of being invisible.

    Indeed, that was the spirit! The hesitant look on Kev's face slowly ebbed away, replaced by a more confident and sure look in his eye. Had he not spent the past year and a half minding his own business? Keeping back from running into disasters and strife? And how many times did anyone come waltzing to his front door to berate him for not helping? Zero. That's how many times. The people of Portal Breach would not be upset with him, had not been yet! (At least not for staying home, there were a handful of people upset over other things he had done but that was for a different day.) At this point, it was only Kev himself who was the source of this guilt and indecision. He'd have to work on that sometime... Tension still seemed to leave his body, helped by Discord's little trick. Things were going to be...fine! The alien just had to believe in that.

    A certain furry miss had made herself known, and as Discord shielded his wings, the alien rose from his seat to reach down and scoop her up. "No need, she has several toys of her own to play with." Plopping back into his seat, Kev settled the cat across his lap and looked down to peer into her amber eyes. "Shally, you're scaring our guest! You need to behave, and not chew on his feathers." He wagged a finger, like a scolding parent. Shally's response was to bat at the finger with a paw and sniff at his fingertip. Just like a cat, she wasn't the least bit ashamed of her behavior. The scaly alien gave Discord a sheepish shrug. "Next time you come over, I can put her away in the room for a little bit." Soon the cat seemed to melt against him, and slim fingers began to stroke the tortoiseshell's neck and ears.

    "Ooh, I like the fun kind of odd." It was a personality trait that made Kev liable to befriend many sorts of people. From the genocidal to the chaotic. Squinting his eyes in approval, he nodded. "And oddballs stick together!" Even if his type of odd was centered around little jokes and puppet shows, whereas Discord's was a lot more bombastic and impressive. Noticing that Discord had finished off his treat, the alien tilted his head lightly. "Do you need anymore tea, or anything else to eat?"


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Sun Jun 05, 2016 10:02 pm

    ((Thanks! I'll certainly try to. ;3))

    "Precisely." He had only died the once himself—four times was quite the number!—but even just that once was enough to make him grateful that death was still mostly off the table. It was bad enough that he had gone through the ordeal in the first place. If he hadn't made it back… Well, he would be thankful for not having to experience Fluttershy's reaction firsthoof, but little else. "Everyone?" he replied, his ears and brows rising in alarm. Perhaps Kev wouldn't have the choice of storing his gloves and sponge, if they were expecting any events of that scale any time soon. "My word, do I even want to know what sort of catastrophe has or would have brought that kind of…misfortune?" At least last summer hadn't been that intense in retrospect, what with only the party's lives and the pair of kingdoms on the line. The rest of the Breach had remained untouched.

    And it would seem that Discord's words had helped to reassure the guilty alien, the tension visibly leaving him. The draconequus of course noticed it with a hint of pride, but aside from a slightly grin, decided not to acknowledge it aloud. Most heroes never learned to hang up their capes without regrets. Thankfully, it would seem that perhaps Kev could be different from them, and that was very much a plus if it meant he could live his life without the stress brought on by that load of bologna. Of course that wouldn't necessary eliminate all the stress from his life, but that was none of Discord's business.

    Discord frowned deeply at that response. "Who'd'a guessed it?" he mumbled, stroking his feathers with a pout. Until they puffed out with indignation, that is. "Scared?! Who's scared? I've defeated alicorns and a whole variety of massive beasts! A hostile little ball of fluff hardly compares." And yet, his wing was still shielded, now entirely from view behind him, and he had all but turned his tail to stone. Maybe stashing the cat away wouldn't be such a bad idea, however… At least until he could figure out how to whisper to animals. "…Just because I agree with this notion does not mean I'm afraid," he admitted, not meeting Kev's eyes and blushing slightly with embarrassment. He really needed to work on his multiracial communication skills…

    An all but wicked grin spread across Discord's face. Had Kev expressed his reasoning behind that sentiment aloud, the draconequus would've likely agreed; this entire world was odd compared to everyone's normal, so having at least an appreciation for that sort of thing was an admirable quality for many. "But of course!" A complementary couple of oddballs like them could never be fully separated, that would be just plain wrong. "Hm?" So he had finished his Santa! He had been starting to get the feeling that he would be inexplicably nibbling on that thing for at least a couple more pages… "Oh, no thank you. I'm perfectly content and refreshed." As unusual as it was, he just didn't have much of an appetite right then. The tea and chocolate had gotten something in his stomach as comfort food is prone to do, but even though his thoughts were temporarily distracted from the original reason he had initiated this visit, he still wasn't hungry.

      Current date/time is Mon Oct 23, 2017 5:32 am