Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Breakeven

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    Kev
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Mon Sep 21, 2015 12:05 am

    ((TIME KEEPS SLIPPING AWAY))

    Kev's acting had changed Discord's laughter, turning it from a villainous snicker to a more boisterous chuckle. It sounded more...natural! The alien chuckled along, raising a brow at the draconequus. Those were some sturdy lungs in that noodle chest of his! The laughter trailed off, and Discord reiterated how horrible the fate really was. "Perhaps the TBPRR is just too dangerous...too risky for me to even DARE to go after it." If he would only find himself with a horrible fate, why even chance it? The TBPRR wasn't worth the risk!

    Shally's feather gnawing earned her a raspberry, and at the sight of Discord's snake-like tongue Kev let out a small laugh. "Looks like you have a little snake in you!" He teased lightly, pointing towards the spindly tongue. Wonder if Discord could hiss like a snake too...? The tongue did nothing to deter Shally, though it did seem to give her an idea as the gnawing paused. She raised her head to stare at Discord with her round, amber eyes. For a good few moments she stared, as if staring him down, before she looked back at her prize and stuck out her tongue. The sandpaper tongue came down upon the barbs of the feather. Even though it was a jagged clump by this point, Shally seemed to think it could use some grooming... Ah good, Discord's feathers weren't a major weak spot or anything. In fact, it looked like he had feathers to spare! "Do you have any weaknesses at all?" He inquired with a raised brow, curiosity striking him suddenly. Discord was a strong draconequus, though Portal Breach had obviously sapped some of his initial strength. How powerful was he...?

    Oh boy, here come the crocodile tears. Kev was met with a pair of wibbly, shiny peepers and it really did catch one in the heart. At the same time however, the alien's hands tightened around the teapot and he let out a small snort. If Discord were truly hurt, he probably wouldn't put on such a show. "Well, a start is better than nothing!~" Kev cooed, with all of the support and comfort of a nanny as he held the teapot close to his own face cheekily. At the sluggish movement of the draconequus, the alien hugged the teapot to his own chest with a small snort. Discord resembled a puppet on loose strings, moving in such a languid fashion! Kev waited patiently for Discord to pull himself back up into a normal sitting position. "Chocolate might." The way he heard it, chocolate was good for voids like that! At the comment about the tea, Kev lifted the top and peered down into his pot.

    "Hmm...yeah it's pretty cool now. I'll go ahead and warm it up on the hob right quick." Though Kev himself didn't mind iced tea, the way Judge Fear talked, iced tea seemed to be an abomination apparently. In the end it would probably be best to warm it up. For quality's sake! Teapot in hand, the alien began to stroll into the kitchen, only pausing to look back at Discord as he admitted that normal cats might not be so easily charmed. Shally, having deemed her feather properly cleaned, picked it up into her mouth and sauntered out of the living room and up the stairs with no aside from the slight pap pap pap of her paws on the wood. "Being able to talk with someone does make it easier to negotiate with them. Otherwise, I've found that affection is really good for charming animals! Affection and keeping calm." Stepping into the kitchen, Kev approached the hob and pulled the kettle he originally used forward. He poured the contents of the pot into it and turned on the handles of the oven, turning one of the burners on and setting the kettle onto it. "Shouldn't be too long..."


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:53 pm

    ((I feel you there. xP))

    “There is a reason hardly anypony goes after it…” He wasn’t saying that was the reason, but there was indeed good reason. Including but not limited to “toilet brush” of course. The hardest part of seeking the TBPRR would be finding the right restroom. So many toilet brushes, so little time! Maybe there was an amulet or something… Or would it be like one of those “the chosen one will just magically be able to tell just by looking” things? “In any case, it’s too dangerous to go alone. You’d need a companion for conversation and comic relief, and who knows where to find that kind of quality help in this day and age?”

    As for the snake in the room, Discord merely flicked his tongue a few times. He had decided to dutifully ignore the cat as she violated his poor fallen feather, so he managed to pay her very little mind. “Yes.” Kitchen sink included, remember? He had a little bit of everything. And the ponies often said he had a snake-tail, despite the not-so-snake-like tuft of hair on the end of it and the spines… He supposed it was snake at heart, with a little extra that made it better than just a run of the mill snake. So, yes; snake-y bits extra confirmed. Forked tongue, scaled tail, serpent body, the whole shebang.

    He eyed Kev at the next question. “Sure I do. Getting dastardly plans, are we?” he asked, the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips letting him know that he was joking. He couldn’t imagine Kev doing anything bad with the information (at least not on purpose), but that didn’t mean he was about to go blabbing about it. Any more than he already had, of course… They had just been discussing violent, angry rainbows not too long ago; that counted as blabbing about his weaknesses, didn’t it?

    He supposed that was true… A start was certainly better than nothing. He could already feel his faux depression melting away at Kev’s rather sarcastic sympathy. He was liking this; it wasn’t very often that others played along with most of his shenanigans. He kind of liked it… The fun got to continue longer, and he was still able to surprise Kev intermittently despite said playing-along. Win-win! At Kev’s next words, his pupils suddenly doubled in size, not unlike a cat who had just spotted some appetizing prey. “Do you have any?” he asked eagerly. He couldn’t just pass up an opportunity like that if it was present.

    “Noted.” The advice Kev gave him from the other room did make sense… It was what Fluttershy did. He glanced over as Kev assured him that the tea shouldn’t take too long, simply humming in reply. He didn’t let his expression fall just in case Kev looked over and saw, but his mind did wander enough that he obviously appeared to be spacing. He knew he’d need to really take all the advice that had been going in one ear and out the other seriously. All the animals that had come to rely on Fluttershy would be his responsibility now… “Define ‘affection,’” he called out to Kev in the kitchen. He’d never been particularly…how do you say, “good” with that kind of thing in the past. At least not Fluttershy-good… He tugged at the area where his grey fur ended and his short brown feathers began for a moment, the skin stretching comically as if he were simply readjusting his collar. Dilemma…
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Fri Oct 02, 2015 10:38 pm

    "The true power of the TBPRR. So dangerous, that it stays out of everyone's reach and gets to keep the power for its own uses." Quite the tricky little toilet brush... So devious. So dastardly! So...unattainable. Alas, some things just weren't meant to be, and apparently this brush was just one of them. At least Discord had some helpful advice for how Kev could manage to get the brush, but the suggestion only made the alien chuckle. "Well, that's going to be a problem because I'm the companion for conversation and comic relief. So if I want proper companionship on this little adventure...I guess I'll have to find a stiff, humorless hero to accompany me." Thankfully, Kev didn't have anyone knocking on his cottage door, asking for some comic relief for any random misadventures. The alien's adventuring days were behind him, for the most part.

    Kev's eyes were trained on the flickering tongue, finding it to be rather...funny looking! He had definitely seen a couple of snakes flick their tongue like that, but seeing it on Discord was funny. To have such a reptilian trait to go with a head that was more mammal...really, Discord's anatomy in general was confusing. A reptile leg and a reptilian tail, a bird hand, bird wing, and the rest was an assortment of mammals. "You're an interesting guy, Discord." The real kitchen sink.

    Upon bring eyed, the alien tilted his head to the side. Discord's answer was rather diplomatic, admitting to having some weaknesses but not stating what they were. It was only when the draconequus asked his question that Kev realized just how devious that question may have seemed. His shoulders hunched, head ducking down bashfully. Even though Discord looked to be joking, he'd hate to send off the wrong vibe! "Oh no, no. Sorry, I was just curious! Nothing dastardly here." Well, there were a couple plans that some may consider dastardly...but certainly nothing intentionally dastardly and especially not against Discord in particular.

    Playing along with Discord's shenanigans was very fun, Kev could never resist a little bit of ham! And let's face it, Discord was a honey roasted ham with a side of bacon. The hammy depression was lessening, and the last little bit that managed to completely break the act was the mention of chocolate. Kev's own eyes widened in response to Discord's, chuckling again at the eager reaction. Somebody really like his chocolate... "I do, actually! You're lucky, with the Holiday at the end of the month I have themed chocolates that I give to my friends. Would you prefer a Santa with marshmallow in the middle, or a completely chocolate snowman?"

    Leaning against the counter, Kev's eyes were trained on the kettle, only occasionally glancing back at Discord when he'd respond. The draconequus seemed to be deep in thought, as there was a large gap of silence between his responses. "Well...I guess it depends on the animal. For instance, dogs like being rubbed on the belly but cats don't. Usually, pets and strokes on the head are your ticket. Especially under the chin and behind the ears. But always wait for the animal to come to you, unless they are a very friendly animal. They can be testy and fickle sometimes, only wanting affection when they demand it, even if you're not in the mood." Kev reached over, pulling the top off of the kettle and peering down into it to see how the tea was. It had only just started boiling, and so Kev turned off the hob. He pulled the kettle off of the stovetop and poured the reheated tea into the teapot. "Tea's warm again!" All he had to do was grab the chocolate Discord wanted and he returned to the main room with both the chocolate and the pot in hand.


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Tue Oct 13, 2015 8:31 pm

    ((And the musical ends! My nights are mine aside from homework. xP))

    “And here I thought I’d never be able to relate to a toilet brush,” Discord remarked with a snicker. Dastardly little power-hungry things, the both of them; perhaps they could form an alliance. But, as fate would have it, it seemed as if neither of them would be adventuring anytime soon. “Good point.” He could think of a great many stiff, humorless beings on the Breach, but he couldn’t really consider most of them heroes… And without the proper group of weary travelers, there could be no adventure. At least for now, they would have to just be comfortable in their own homes.

    They don’t call him “the amalgamation” for nothing. Not that he complained; he took pride in his variety. So, naturally, he took Kev’s remark as a compliment, flipping his paw at the Kryptonistanian nonchalantly. “I try…” Being interesting was much better than being boring, that was for sure, and being a confounding freak of nature was a great way to start.

    Discord couldn’t help but chuckle good-humoredly at Kev’s embarrassed amendment. “Of course not,” he replied genuinely. He really couldn’t imagine Kev being evil in any capacity, and at this rate, that impression wasn’t going to change. Just look at him! Being all ashamed of his implications and blushing… Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife, he’s too dangerous! “That doesn’t mean I’m telling, though.” He liked being the only one who knew of his weaknesses (that he knew of). Well, the only one on the Breach, anyway… Way too many of the ponies back home knew how to get through to him. It was almost as if he’d been tamed, but of course the very notion of such a thing was completely absurd.

    Moving on to brighter prospects: “You’re serious?” He hadn’t expected Kev to actually have chocolate, but if he was offering… “Marshmallow would be nice,” he replied, eyes sparkling innocently. Definitely the combo, but wasn’t that obvious? Everything about him was a combo platter, as they had just finished going over not too long ago, and he liked his candy the way he liked his art; varied and only just sentient enough to cause a bit of mischief. Besides, he needed to start pigging out on marshmallows in preparation for his eventual rematch.

    Fickle sounded like an understatement… “Huh. Apparently I'm just all sorts of relatable tonight.” Toilet brushes and common animals? He was on a roll... He supposed Kev's advice made sense. Food and attention. Not quite as smooth as just being able to somehow naturally communicate with them so flawlessly that they instantly became bestest buddies, but as long as it worked… He knew for a fact that he would never be able to replace Fluttershy--who could even hope to manage that?--so that would have to do, even if it wasn’t the way she had found a way into her furry little friends’ hearts. He was well on his way to getting lost in his thoughts again when Kev saved him with his announcement that the tea was ready again. He sat back up and quickly banished the more depressing thoughts from his mind, distracting himself instead with the prospects of chocolate. “Wunderbar! My aching heart is ready, let the candy-and-hot-beverage-induced healing begin,” he replied, the deceptively cheerful exclamation setting a new tone for his demeanor, all but completely banishing any and all of his more depressing thoughts.
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Fri Oct 16, 2015 2:01 pm

    ((Yaay, that's the best! Hope the musical was fun!))

    "I think that if we were all to take a good look at ourselves, we would see that we can relate to all toilet brushes." Kev responded with a sage-like tone. "You've got the TBPRR, that stays away from those who may use it and keeps its power to itself, and you also have your normal, average toilet brush. It may seem insignificant...it may even have a little bit of crap on it. But ultimately, without that brush, your life becomes...crappier!~" The alien chuckled to himself, eyes sparkling with humor. He couldn't help it, the opportunity was right there! Haha! Crappier...he mimed wiping a tear from his eye before nodding his agreement. "Adventures can be so strict on who they allow to join, huh?" A humorless hero, a plucky comic relief, probably a jerk with a heart of gold, someone with a kind heart, and lastly, the brainy one. Definitely made for some interesting adventures though...

    "You succeed." Kev punctuated his response with a brief point to Discord. Of course, a great many people were interesting on this planet, though Discord was definitely up there in originality. The only ones who could match him were Portal X and Hazama. Bonkers as well, though the bobcat was long gone...

    At Discord's chuckle, the alien relaxed, relieved that Discord wasn't worried about Kev trying to chase him down and kill him or some other such thing. "Good, good..." At the addition, Kev snorted. "Haha! That's fine. I don't really need to know, I was just curious. You seem like such a strong guy, so I was beginning to doubt if you even had any..." He rolled a wrist with a light shrug. "I'm nothing special, and I have a ton of weaknesses." Ah, the bane of being a cold-blooded creature that literally depended upon sunlight for sustenance... Not to mention a few weak spots as well. Whatever Discord's weaknesses were, Kev figured they wouldn't make it easy to take him down.

    Seems someone wasn't really expecting to receive chocolate~! "Yep, I'm serious! Usually I don't have any unless Nym picks some out to eat as a snack, but for Halloween and Christmas, I buy up loads of it." For trick-or-treaters and friends alike! The important decision had been made, the draconequus deciding on a marshmallow Santa Claus. Kev chuckled good-naturedly at the sparkle in Discord's eye, it was like a child or something! Kind of adorable, really! "Marshmallow it is." He said with a nod. Discord apparently found himself relating rather well to the finicky nature of animals. "Mhm, I think you relate to a lot of things, really! In just the past couple of minutes, I've seen you act like a cat and a snake." Between that, and the way Discord seemed to be made up of several animals, it made sense he'd likely relate to them. "Maybe that can help you with them too."

    Kev went quiet for a moment, reflecting back on his advice. "It probably sounds very obvious, huh...doesn't take a degree to put together that giving animals food and love gets a good response." He rubbed the toe of his boot against the kitchen floor lightly. "Tell you the truth, a lot of it is sort of...instinct. Animals go by how they feel, most can't really think critically like us. They can pick up on how you feel too, so if you seem aggressive and angry, that'll make them anxious or angry. You have to be soft and gentle, but some animals, you need to be more...dominant. Like a bear! They aren't as cuddly as a cat or a dog, so being kind and gentle might just get you attacked. If you keep them fed, give them attention and respect while also letting them know that you are in charge, you should be fine!" He chuckled to himself, almost sheepish. "Though sometimes you'll still have one or two who keeps trying to be the top dog..." For Kev, those troublemakers were Oscar and Llama, sometimes even Glen! The stubborn little ram...

    The tea pot with the reheated tea was set aside for a moment, so that Kev could fish out the chocolate Santa from out of the cupboard. A good choice too, because it actually looked like Kev had run out of the little chocolate snowmen! With a mental note to buy some more, he grasped the little package in one hand, and the other scooped up the tea pot. He returned to the main room, and raised a brow in slight amusement. "Vunder Bar...?" Was it a candy bar brand, perhaps? The tea pot was set down in the center of the coffee table, whereas the very important package was held out for Discord to grab. "The candy-and-hot-beverage healing is a great one, second only to alcohol!" Kev was in no need of healing at the moment, alcohol or otherwise and so he took his seat once more. Though the mood had been depressing initially, it was actually rather nice now. Discord was the kind of guy that really brightened your mood.


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Sun Nov 01, 2015 2:55 pm

    ((Holy SHIZ it's been way too friggin' long... Remind me again why I decided to get into AP art? xP))

    That statement earned one of the blankest stares of all time in response to its very existence as a thought. “…Very nice sentiment, Kev. I’m sure that is considered deep in some dimension,” he finally replied after a moment of silence. It was almost ruined by the straight-face-breaking Kev used, but he managed to hold the expression, only snickering after he had spoken. As for the strict formula for any decent group of adventurers… “The strictest.” The analogy with the s’mores came to mind, as useful as it was for this sort of circumstan-tuation. The marshmallowy comic relief is never optional.

    “Good; that’s just what I want them to think.” He didn’t want just anyone to be able to figure out all his weaknesses; that would suck. It’d be embarrassing if, after everything he had been and accomplished in Equestria, he was suddenly able to be beaten down by just anybody. Hence why his quest for revenge against Bun Bun was still at the forefront of his mind. That didn’t mean he didn’t have weaknesses, of course… He was flesh and blood despite all his showmanship, after all. Even aside from that he still had “chinks in his armor” that could and even had been exploited to make defeating him easier. Those chinks were just hard to see at a first glance. “Nonsense. A psychic anthropomorphic reptile that drinks via osmosis and seems to be one of the only pacifists in this entire dimension is plenty special, surplus of weaknesses or not.”

    His amalgamative nature could make him relatable? He blinked once. “Huh, I’ve never thought of it like that,” he replied thoughtfully. He had only ever really thought of himself as a whole, rather than a sum of his parts. Whenever he interacted with other species, it was as himself. “I suppose I’ve just never cared enough for fitting in to think of that before.” If he wanted to be accepted by Fluttershy’s forest friends, however, it made sense that he may have to play as one of his parts, so to speak… It was an interesting thought, to say the least, even if the thought was more than a little distasteful.

    Well, Discord didn’t think the food answer was very obvious… The entire situation of him being seemingly incapable of even getting along with a bunch of simple forest animals that he now felt almost obligated to look after in…was beyond frustrating. The answers likely seemed simple for anyone else, but the entire idea of any of it was novel for him, the lone wolf he was and seemed to have always been. And the rest of what Kev was saying only affirmed his thoughts more firmly; he didn’t have what such a task would require of him as he was. He knew Kev was right, and everything he said made perfect sense as a concept, but everything he said sounded even to Discord like the exact opposite of what he was like. He wasn’t even sure he had the kind of instincts Kev was referring to, the kind that Fluttershy had earned her cutie mark for.

    He shook his head and snickered at that last comment. “Something tells me that my guard eagle thinks pretty highly of himself,” he said. He could hope that an offering would help the situation, but would it really fix that entirely? The draconequus chuckled at the thought despite himself. He was already making friends.

    Those thoughts pushed aside by time and distraction, he clarified with “Ja, wunderbar! It’s foreign for ‘wonderful.’” What kind of foreign? This world may never know… Except for almost everyone who had come from some variation of your standard, run-of-the-mill classic Earth, but he certainly knew nothing of that subject. He greedily accepted the small package Kev offered him, his eyes once again adopting that fascinated cat look at the sight of the shiny wrapper. “Thank you,” he said quietly as he tore open the wrapper with all the delicacy of someone picking up an important paper they had dropped in a muddy puddle, minus the distaste. Once he had removed it, he immediately began to nibble contentedly on the fat man’s chocolate hat. “I wouldn’t know…” The closest he could remember ever been to genuinely intoxicated had to be last summer during the candy incident. Of course, he could have gotten spectacularly drunk and just didn’t remember it afterwards--which likely would’ve been the point--but he doubted that considering what he had heard about how the mornings after typically went. Thanks again, radio! “I take it you may know, on the other hand? If so, then I demand only the funniest of stories.”
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Tue Nov 03, 2015 3:50 pm

    ((Because ART!))

    The blank stare only seemed to make Kev's giddiness grow, chuckling to himself and squinting his eyes in a pleased manner. "I'm a very deep guy~!" He jokingly boasted, tossing in a wink as Discord's mask almost failed. The only indication that the draconequus really found Kev's joke funny was the muffled snickering. It made the alien snicker in return, shaking his head lightly at the ridiculousness of it all. Kev nodded his head in agreement, though he found that on Portal Breach, the formula wasn't really so strict. And sometimes, things were so hectic that working in a joke was nearly impossible. Maybe Discord was better at it...he did sem to be a professional, after all!

    "I see, I see...the ole 'Cover up weaknesses by displaying your powers and seeming Godly' route. Unless someone tries to call your bluff, you should get away with doing that." And usually, people only called 'bluffs' if they had a personal vendetta. Discord didn't seem the type to create personal vendettas! ...Deeds from his world notwithstanding, of course. For Kev, the important thing was what Discord did now, and what he did now was being a good guy. The alien tilted his head at Discord's description of himself, blinking once or twice as he absorbed it. Anthropomorphic reptile...had to admit, that one was new to him. He had heard the word in passing before though, and he supposed it was technically correct. The rest of what Discord said was correct, though Kev had never really thought of all of that as being 'special'. Kev chuckled lightly, waving a bashful hand at him. "Aaaw...you flatter me! But, thank you. That's very kind of you to say. I guess we're all special in our own way." Even if it was a more humble way, like himself. Made his little chest warm up, that's for sure!

    "Really?" His head cocked to the side, though it made sense. Discord's shtick wasn't usually trying to get animals to behave. "If it helps, you don't have to think of it as fitting in so much as...walking a mile in somebody else's shoes!" He gestured downwards for a moment, particularly to Discord's own feet. "With unique feet like your's, you can fit into many pairs of shoes, if you really try!" Kev threw in a wink for good measure. "Animals seem to relate best with things they can relate to. If you're too different and foreign, something they aren't used to, they might be skittish. Though you obviously aren't just an animal, maybe something about you makes you seem intimidating to them, even if you don't mean to be. The magic, maybe...or maybe just your size. Animals can be...finicky, like that." The alien gave Discord a sympathetic look, digesting their conversation. Though Discord seemed ready to commit to this, he also seemed rather...out of his element. "If you are ever at your wit's end...or if you're having issues with them, or even if you need a bit of help, I wouldn't mind coming over to lend a hand. I probably already offered...but I'll offer again. It can be difficult, to suddenly have so many animals under your care all at once. I really wouldn't mind helping..." Anything to help Fluttershy's friend, as well as her animals.

    Kev shook his head in amusement. "Oh yeees...from what you've said, I'm betting he'll be a real troublemaker. And I'm afraid I'm not that experienced with birds of prey! Furry creatures, snakes, turtles...even ducks, but eagles?" He let out a brief snort. "They're like slimmer versions of owls..." And aah...so this vunder bar word was a foreign one. Alright! "Vunder bar...wonderful...I can see the similarity! The accent sounds familiar too..." Perhaps Kev had once met someone who was familiar with this foreign dialect! The treat handed over, the scaly alien had to stifle a snicker as Discord seemed instantly transfixed by the shiny metal wrapper. "You're welcome!" Shally had been similarly enchanted by the paper, even chasing and batting it around the cottage, once! Though the mental image of Discord doing the same was amusing, Discord was also much larger than Shally... Of course, Kev was no better. The pupils of his eyes grew and he watched Discord carefully open it up, eyes tracing every spot where the light shined off of it like a beacon. Discord got down to the important part, and nibbled on the head of it to start off.

    Kev's scales seemed to turn a brighter shade of green as Discord inquired about Kev's experiences with alcohol, the alien tensing up in his seat and rubbing the back of his neck. "O-oh...well...I-I guess I actually do know! Hehe...and I have a couple of funny stories to go with it..." Now that he had actually been asked about it, especially by someone who had never seen himself while drunk, Kev felt a bit embarrassed. Hopefully Discord wouldn't think he was some sort of lazy alcoholic... "One time, I actually got drunk and high at the same time! A-a bit of a long story, basically I was shoved into a pool full of vodka, LSD, and coffee. I stripped myself naked and ran around screaming about gnomes. The little buggers kept coming after me, but nobody else could see them! And another time, I got so drunk I actually thought somebody else was me. And he was drunk too, and he thought he was me too. And I thought that I was my ex-girlfriend and the two of us kinda...made out somehow. Which is almost impossible since I don't even have a mouth, but we went at it nonetheless! Just...smushed our faces together and everything!"


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Wed Nov 11, 2015 1:04 pm

    ((YEAH ARRRT <3))

    Discord was about to fire back at that with “who says I’m bluffing,” but he couldn’t really say that at the moment… He knew he was stronger now than he was when he had first arrived in this dimension, but it still wasn’t much. He couldn’t even teleport still, let alone use his powers to their greatest potential. He was starting to doubt that he ever would be that strong again at this rate. All of the chaos and disharmony in this world, and yet, thanks to that “portal sickness” limitation, he could hardly draw more than an ounce from any of it. He was as much of a victim of the dangers of instability as anyone else; no wonder he had seemed to all but entirely lose his ability to appreciate the excess of it… “Yes, yes, yes, but that doesn’t really happen very often because few are wise enough or foolish enough to risk it. Unless I say otherwise, who knows how long I’ve been here or what I’ve got up my sleeve?” he explained with a conspiratorial and rather proud smile. He even lowered his voice and put a hand up to block his mouth, as if somepony nearby could hear them. And it would seem as if Kev was grateful for his reassurance. “Indeed,” he replied. Everyone is special, and don’t judge a book by its cover. Apparently he had learned a lot from ponies…

    That next comment definitely earned Kev the groan and accompanying eye roll that Discord gave him. As much as he wanted to poke fun, however, Kev’s point was valid. “That makes sense… A lot of them still seem scared of me even though I haven’t done anything to them.” Well, anything else. But that was just that one time and he had only intended to startle the goat and the eagle! And even they weren’t even scared of him anymore; they just plain didn’t like him. (Which was okay, because he hadn’t quite forgiven them either.) Discord wasn’t really surprised by Kev’s offer, and he knew that if he couldn’t make any progress and soon, he’d have to take him up on it. “Thank you, Kev. I’ll let you know if I need you to come help.”

    Oh yay, a skinny owl for a troublemaker… He could feel an anticipatory migraine building already. “I suppose I can handle just the one of him… As long as he doesn’t give the others any funny ideas.” A plank with a smiley face drawn on it poof-ed into floating existence just long enough for him to knock on wood before it vanished. Before he could dedicate any degree of interest to how Kev knew of his foreignese accent, however, he was distracted by chocolate and the prospect of funny stories. (So what if they were at another’s expense? Those were usually the best kind!) Discord could hardly stifle his snickering. Where did one even find a pool of vodka, LSD, and coffee?! In any case, Kev’s experiences sounded much better than his own; at least they were funny. Kev did seem fairly embarrassed, but Discord just couldn’t help but laugh. “Tha’sh greah’,” he chuckled around his chocolate. “The besht I cou’d tell abou’ ish that one ti’e Judge ‘hear sh’oked shome’hing an’ shtarted shinging poetry a’out deash an’ stuff.” No, he would not remove it from his mouth, he could speak just fine! Besides, he just got to the marshmallow; he loved the taste of marshmallow! It reminded him of his long-term goals and the consequences that followed his poor life choices.
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Tue Nov 17, 2015 5:46 am

    ((Art is RAD))

    Kev entertained the draconequus sneaky and conspiratorial behavior, glancing about and leaning in to 'hear' the secret. His head tilted towards Discord's hand, the one shielding his mouth. Indeed, if one seemed Godly, who would dare to risk it? It was like someone going up to Portal X and demanding to know the extent of his power. Odds were, either they were right or...they were wrong, and would likely be in a world of pain. "The less people know about you, the less they know of what to expect from you, huh?" He agreed with a nod, keeping his own 'voice' to a harsh whisper. Can't let those eavesdropping animals know... "I guess the same is true for me, since I've been here so long. There's no telling what I'm capable of, if you're relatively knew here and don't know me that well!" Though the alien doubted he could ever pull off any sort of 'God' gambit.

    The butchered metaphor that had been haphazardly slapped onto Discord was well-worth the groan and the eye roll! Honestly, it was about the only way he could think of to explain his reasoning. Discord was similar...and yet still different from the animals! If perhaps, the animals got used to his differences...they'd see him as one of their own and listen to him better. "Aaaw..." The alien cooed in sympathy, both for the animals and for Discord! "I'm sorry about that, Discord. Maybe...maybe they just need time!" Time to adjust! Animals could be rather irritable and skittish when faced with changes... Kev sure hoped that was all the animals needed because otherwise, they and Discord were going to be in for a bad time. "You're welcome, Discord. I'm happy to help!" Be nice to see all those animals again too, it'd been a while.

    "Yeah, and so long as he doesn't find any like-minded buddies." Because then, Discord would have a whole army of eagles out to make his life miserable! There was no telling, the power an eagle may have as a leader... Kev crossed one leg over the other, as Discord ate his chocolate and Kev regaled him with his own drunken mishaps! Though still a bit self-conscious, he chuckled lightly and relaxed when Discord merely laughed. The stories were meant to be laughed at, after all! And he'd take it over a finger shaking or something... Though Discord's response was a lot more puzzling then either moral objection or laughter. The scaly alien raised an eyebrow, head tilting to the side as he approached this situation like a puzzle. He mentally pictured the words Discord garbled out, dissecting them to try and figure out what the intended message was. Thankfully it wasn't too hard, once you got the hang of it! "Oh! He did, huh? Was this during that adventure in the summer?" A lot of it sounded bad, but it couldn't be all bad if Fear could stop for a doobie break, right? Kev shook his head in a fond manner and chuckled lightly. "Poems about death...yeah, that sounds like Fear. He's a lot less coherent when he's drunk." Hmm, wonder if Discord might need a napkin...at this rate of food in mouth speech, he might start spraying some of it his treat!


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Tue Dec 08, 2015 9:41 pm

    ((*casually rises from the dead*))

    So true, so true. Unexpected was quite a big part of his gimmick, after all, so sense was to be made. And speaking of unexpected, that was a rather…flashback-inducing statement. Hadn’t Fluttershy implied that Kev had been here at the very least almost as long as she had, at the very least? On the surface, the Kryptonistanian seemed fairly harmless, telepathy aside, but was that really the truth? He had yet to see anyone else who he could even really imagine as harmless through-and-through (aside from Fluttershy, of course). Just when he thought something could be harmless, it sprouted teeth and spat acid. Who would’ve thought that a marshmallow slightly smaller than a pony could knock someone like the spirit of chaos himself silly with just one hit?! The thought that Kev could be the same... Discord put a paw to his chest and recoiled. “Why, Kev!” he exclaimed before leaning back in with the same conspiratorial grin as before. “What are you trying to say, you old devil-in-disguise, you?” He tried to imagine Kev punching the Bandersnatch in the face. Actually, that was a pretty hardcore mental image…

    Yes, yes, poor wittle Disco’d. It was all he could do to keep his tongue from lolling out. That didn’t stop the mildly good-humored eyeroll, though; he had to do something to preserve his pride and dignity. As for Kev’s optimism, he could only hum in what could’ve been an agreement. Had he the patience to wait longer for the animals to come around, it might’ve been genuine agreement. “I suppose. Hopefully my bribery with food and affection will reduce the waiting period.” That he was more inclined to agree with. If food and submissive attention was the way to an animal’s heart, then surely him following the advice Kev had been giving him would help them come around a bit quicker than just giving them all the time to realize that he wasn’t actually going to actively try to hurt them on purpose. As much as he wasn’t saying aloud, however, he couldn’t hide the small smile that resulted from Kev’s reply to his thanks.

    …Like-minded buddies? As in, more than one?! How many was more than one?!?! The draconequus’s mouth dropped open and he froze. Moments later, the floating plank of wood reappeared once again, but this time he rapped on it continuously and furiously enough that his fists became blurs. Meanwhile, he practically stared Kev down. “Don’t jinx me, Kevin.” He couldn’t handle an angry eagle army! Well, actually, he probably could these days, but he didn’t want to! He could practically feel all the ideas brewing in their tiny brains, spurred on by the unknown-to-them force which was Kev’s jinxing words… He was allowed to jinx himself, but that didn’t mean that everypony else could just come along and jinx him willy-nilly as well! It was too hard to keep track of which days he should just sleep through when everyone was jinxing him all at once.

    Ding-ding-ding, give the anthropomorphic lizard a prize! Discord nodded fervently; that quick little detour in which they encountered the smoking caterpillar was perhaps one of the most enjoyable parts of their little summer outing. Seeing as it was one of the only times when they had had a lucky lull in the violence and hardship, of course. Those little cat-bugs had been marvelously easy to recover and return; only two or three of them had even had to do anything to manage the task. Discord suddenly bit the entire head off his santa--a perfect shark impression, if he said so himself--and swallowed it whole before speaking. “Sounds about right,” he said. “Something about sheep and death, if I recall correctly. None of it made much sense. Then again, if that were the case then he might’ve just been trying to blend in with his surroundings.” He turned his Santa so that he could nibble thoughtfully on the right arm. Had anything about that vacay made sense? Nonsense fits right in with nonsense, and after getting high off of caterpillar smoke, it was hard to pick Fear out of that crowd.
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Sun Dec 13, 2015 5:12 pm

    ((Welcome to the LAND of the LIVING~!))

    Discord wrote:“Why, Kev! What are you trying to say, you old devil-in-disguise, you?”

    The recoil had caught the alien by surprise at first, jerking slightly in his chair and gawking at his guest almost anxiously. Had he insulted him somehow...? Though the true 'reason' for such behavior revealed itself quickly, and everything from the recoil to the grin and the way Discord leaned close spoke volumes. Hammy volumes. Chuckling lowly, Kev leaned in and cupped his own chin, both brows quirked almost smugly. "Wouldn't you like to know...?" The devil-in-disguise sat upright in his chair once more, hand folded neatly in his lap. "Let's just say...I'm a hardened criminal. A...sinner, you might say~!" He snickered like a gremlin, probably ruining any air of mystique he had generated. Though Kev had a few secrets to call his own, and his hands were hardly clean...well. He was Kev. And Kev was a well-intentioned numpty. He'd probably make for an awful devil, apologizing and fretting over the sinners who'd come to burn.

    The draconequus was not quite as eager as Kev was, regarding the animals and their trust in Discord. It could be hard, even disheartening to try your best with an animal only to be rebuffed. Sometimes the animals really didn't mean it...but the quickest way to break Kev's heart was to offer an animal to him and have it ignore him despite every offer. To suddenly have such a big responsibility... The alien offered Discord a reassuring look. "I'm sure it will." If they knew each other better, he'd probably reach out to take a paw and pat it dotingly. Kev's fingers even twitched, as if tempted to reach out, but he kept his hands to himself. Even if they were besties, some people weren't quite so...physical. Besides, the little smile on Discord's face told Kev that he was doing good enough just by talking. No need to potentially make it awkward by rubbing his hands all over him!

    Oh, the wood was back! Kev craned his head to get a better look at it, curious about the drawn little face but it was hard to see much of anything with Discord knocking on it like that... The fist had become a furious blur, and the sound of knocking echoed around them. Knockknockknock! The alien would refrain from asking 'who's there?'. "Kevin...?" He made a face. A name like 'Kev' didn't make many nicknames. Kevvy...yep, that was about it. Kevin, though... Kevin was new. "Ah, right, right! Sorry! No jinxing, none at all. There won't be any buddies for that eagle, he's probably too mean to have any!" His hands raised in a defensive manner, Discord's stare really was kinda scary... If Kev jinxed him again, maybe he'd turn Kev into a plank of wood and knock on him!

    Chomp! And there goes Santa's head. Poor, poor Santa... The scaly alien gave the chocolate a fake sympathetic look before paying attention to Discord's answer. The more Kev heard about this summer adventure, he both wished he took part, and was thankful he hadn't. At least getting high and making poems doesn't sound so bad... "Sheep and death, yep...that's him. Blend in with his surroundings?" Some of it sounded strange, sure... But after five years in this place, lots of strange things sounded kinda normal. "Guess things were pretty insane, if a high Dark Judge reciting a poem about sheep and death can make you 'blend in'. I wish I could say things don't normally get that crazy but..." He offered a helpless shrug. Nope, Portal Breach could be the land of insanity at times!
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Tue Dec 15, 2015 8:54 pm

    Discord snickered devilishly at Kev's cryptic response. Was he bluffing? Was he a secret ninja? The world may never know… And, from the safety of Kev's good side, he was actually kind of loving that he didn't know for sure. This in mind, that snicker was actually a decent touch. He applauded eagerly. "Ooh-ho-ho! The ultimate double life!" Nope, still couldn't quite see it, but it was all in good fun. Anyone who was ready and willing to think himself a genuine friend to a villain could hardly be considered an evil mastermind. Himself excluded, of course, as that had never happened to him before.

    A wise call, the not touching. It wasn't that he had a ten mile bubble or anything of that sort—quite the opposite, actually. And even if he did, after hanging around ponies all the time, he would still be thoroughly used to that sort of mild affection. Especially considering it was something Fluttershy had done as a sort of comfort when she thought he needed it. Thankfully that potentially awkward or even semi-disastrous moment was avoided, and Discord was content to let their conversation transition into something less grave.

    Kevin? "Kevin." he confirmed. One syllable didn't really offer much to work with, and it wasn't as if he knew Kev's real full name, so Kevin would just have to do. He was still knocking on that wood hard enough to avert about a century's worth of jinxes, but finally stopped once Kev felt thoroughly threatened and threw his hands up. Discord gave a curt nod with a slight smile and the plank vanished. "Good." If an eagle army formed and came after him, he'd have no choice but to take shelter somewhere he knew would be safe, and being locked in his own home was not an option. So, really, Kev would only be hurting himself by jinxing him. "And good point…" Sounded like a friendship problem, that mean old bird; a job for Purple Smart. Thankfully Unfortunately, she wasn't here.

    "Oh believe me, even I would never have thought of some of the crazy that we all stepped in," he replied earnestly, pausing briefly in his nibbling. The dark judge reciting poetry under the influence was hardly the most unusual thing that had happened that week. Or even in that same moment, considering that they had at the time been gathered around a half-alien purple caterpillar that had been smoking like a chiminea whilst lounging atop a massive mushroom as he requested that they retrieve his cat/bug hybrid pets from meaty timberwolves. "Or so I'm told. Even with all my power, I'd be hard pressed to mix this place up; it'd be more of a remix, really. Hankly, I'm a little surprised that anyone here finds me unusual, given what they're surrounded by, and yet I get the same reactions here that I received back in Equestria." Honestly, if he could get hammered by a sentient marshmallow, consoled and lectured about it by a miniature talking Pegasus, and carried to the hospital by a talking dragon, then how was somepony like him so unusual to some? Not that he was complaining, of course. After all, if no one found him alarming or odd at all, then it'd just be a clear sign that he needed to try harder…
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Fri Dec 18, 2015 5:25 pm

    Ah yes! By day, Kev was an unassuming scaly alien. Friend to most and lover of animals and children alike! Simple co-owner to a little music store! An optimistic ball of kindness! But by night...the alien became a sinner, wreaking much havoc and discord in his wake! Oh, the awful deeds he had done! The arson, the time he was unwittingly taken along on a stolen ice cream truck ride, being an accomplice to a few robberies, destroying a Dairy Queen-! Oh, the life of crime never ended! At the applause, Kev gave a seated bow. More of an incline of the head, really. Then, he turned his gaze away from the draconequus and to the nearest window. With a dramatic and intense look in his big ole eyes, Kev stared out at the winter wonderland of the outside world. "Alas, double lives are hard...trying to keep track of who knows what at any given time, keeping the two lives separated...ah! It's torture! Absolute torture!" Suddenly the alien leaned back against his chair limply, a hand held to his forehead in a delicate manner, even letting out a soft sigh. Oh, the life of a tortured sinner was just so hard! A-bloo-bloo-bloo!

    Eventually though, the angst came to an end. Probably a good thing too, one could only take so much whining and angsting over a double life! If Kev were perhaps a bit more of his old self, his cheery little self that readily gave affection to anything that even looked at him nicely, he probably would have comforted Discord without a second thought. Probably would have latched onto that fuzzy neck too. At the moment, time had changed Kev, making him more hesitant to latch onto people. Besides, this was only the second time he and Discord had ever met! They seemed to get along well, but all it took was getting uncomfortably touchy to make a guy back off and decide not to visit again. And with the news Discord had come to deliver...perhaps too much physical affection was too much, too soon.

    "Kevin..." The alien repeated, as if testing how the words came off of his metaphorical tongue. Kev...in. Hmm... "Somehow, when you say it all...'scolding' like that, it actually works." Kevin Mak-Tarr, you march your scaly butt back upstairs and clean the bathroom! Just imagining Discord saying that in such a falsetto tone made the alien snicker to himself. Hehehe...soon, the threatening wood knocking had disappeared, Discord apparently satisfied by Kev's kowtowing. Remind him never to jinx Discord... "Yeah...maybe he's a big ole jerk eagle because he's lonely and doesn't know how to express his feelings in any way other than screeching at you and being rude." Kev offered with a light shrug. It was, unfortunately, how a great many people seemed to work. "The key to that is either saintly patience...or not even trying, you might be fighting a losing battle anyway." Some eagles just couldn't be reformed! Bad eggs, through and through...

    Even Discord, master of Chaos, was brought to a little standstill by the sheer insanity of what they had experienced. The alien nodded in sympathy, he could only imagine... In his years he'd seen many horrifying, crazy things. Some of the details he had heard were...more confusing than awful. Particularly the friends who were...re-purposed somehow. "Yeah, a lot of the chaotic things I've seen here that try to shake things up kinda...go nowhere. Or they just focus on screwing with people directly instead of really messing with the environment. It's very rare that they succeed in doing a lot of damage to this place..." Especially lasting damage, how many times had the city been torn apart by now? Though Kev seemed to perk up in his chair, nodding furiously along with what Discord was saying. "I know what you mean! I've gotten some odd looks due to not having a mouth and being a scaly guy, but I've also gotten weirder responses. Like, I've been mistaken for a turtle, a frog, and even a ninja and a superhero! When you get down to it, I'm really not that weird...I think. Same as you! Different looking, maybe...but with everything here, we fit right in."


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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Discord on Wed Dec 23, 2015 3:41 pm

    Discord chuckled darkly along with the antics. Oh yes, leading a double life was one of the most difficult feats to successfully master. Just one careless slip of the tongue to the wrong person could mean disaster… "Yes, yes… Torture indeed, but with such great reward in the end!" he announced dramatically, his fist poised with determination and his voice lofty with melodrama as he stared off into a different distance than Kev was. "Just imagine the looks on their faces…" He knew the look on his own face would probably be some variety of priceless; for sweet little Kev to turn around and suddenly reveal himself as a raging psychotic lunatic in his friend's most vulnerable of moments, likely resulting in his tragic, untimely, but inevitable demise at the hands of one of his trusted allies?! Simply evil! Diabolical! Practically unimaginable! The very reason no one was allowed to possess material wealth of high quality! The torture that would result was certainly worth the torture that had to been endured in the meantime, he was sure any diabolical villain would say.

    "Kevin." he confirmed once again. Of course it worked! Everything he said worked, naturally. The witty banter ceases for nopony! As for the unfortunate events surrounding a certain eagle, he could swear that sounded vaguely familiar… But only vaguely, so he let it slide by with just a blank look. "Well, as I'm sure they say somewhere with lots of pink sparkles and naïve optimism, 'there's no such thing as a lost cause!'" he said with a squeaky voice and a mockingly gung ho swing of his fist. "And even if there is, I still owe it to several others to at least give it a shot. As long as I get to keep all of my hide intact, that is… It's not nearly a worthy enough cause to earn that level of dedication." He preferred it when his blood remained inside his body, thank you very much. Perhaps he could just outlast the eagle by resisting his aggression until he wore himself out? Or beat him in an argument… He predicted a lot of mutual screeching if that ended up being the case.

    Now that Discord took as a challenge. He was no typical chaotic thing, how dare he allow himself to become so grossly incompetent to be grouped as such! Portal sickness was hardly an excuse, he just needed to try harder. A lot harder. Time and dedication, that would likely be the key, and he wasn't anything if not completely dedicated to his art… If what Kev was saying was true—and it very obviously was, given that near-apocalyptic events rocked the Breach regularly and yet they weren't living in a smoking crater—then he supposed it was a good thing he never sought to damage his environment, per say. And "screwing with people directly" he could certainly manage, if nothing else. That was good; he'd at least get by, if nothing else. A starving artist, but an artist none the less; they all had to start somewhere.

    Discord could distinctly recall thinking of "superhero" to describe Kev the first time he had met him. It was the cape, certainly. The whole mouthless thing hadn't really struck him until he began to question just how Kev had managed to speak and eat… And even then, it wasn't so much the mouthlessness that struck him as odd, but the coping-with-the-mouthlessness. And he thought that more as interesting than anything else. When Kev finished his sentence, he nearly gagged on his Santa. Discord? Fit in?! He cleared his throat to cover his astonished and somewhat indignant response. "Well, yes, I suppose you could say that," he half-mumbled. Anything sounded bad when you put it that way… "We certainly have a point here." What was the new different when different was normal? Perhaps if John "No Powers" Doe came through a portal then worked contentedly as a greeter at the grocery store downtown from nine to five every day before going back to his apartment every night… That would be unusual. That didn't mean he was about to start trying to act "normal," though. Honestly, he would rather die. Nah, he'd just have to think. It had been a while since he'd been genuinely challenged like this, so surely he would enjoy rising up to meet the challenge? "Is there really anything this old place hasn't seen yet?" The question was hardly rhetorical. No wonder the big bads sought to mess with the citizens directly; they may very well be the only ones left to surprise.
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    Re: Breakeven

    Post by Kev on Sun Dec 27, 2015 1:39 pm

    Kev attempted to join Discord in a dark chuckle but...being Kev, he offered a chuckle that started out a little dark, but ended in a dorky guffaw. Even a little snort! Truly, a force to be reckoned with. The room was about to get quite hammy, as Discord joined Kev in dramatically staring off into the distance! A...different distance actually, the alien noted with a glance to the draconequus. A stifled snort sounded as the alien took it in, from the raised fist of TRIUMPH to the grin upon his gray muzzle. "Yes, all matter of things can be endured, so long as you have a great reward to look forward to!" He agreed with an eager nod, raising a fist to mirror Discord. Two people in the same pose, looking at two different random areas, what's not to love? "The shock, the horror! The respect because 'oh my, Kev's a criminal mastermind'! Their faces would be absolutely amazing!" His little fist shook, completely into the hypothetical looks on their faces. Very few would see it coming if Kev suddenly revealed himself to be an evil villain, playing a long-waiting game to enact his plans! Of course, this was all just silly, hammy jokes. Even if Kev were secretly evil or something, his reaction to the looks on his friends' faces would be a lot less amused and triumphant. The idea of his friends ever looking at him that way...Kev's fist fell, and the hamminess melted away into a more solemn posture. He might as well be secretly evil, huh...?

    "You know, in all my time here I don't think I've ever met anyone named Kevin. Lots of names, both weird and common...but never a Kevin!" Probably for the best, that'd get confusing fast. Kev figured that his proposal for the eagle would sound familiar to Discord, what with his past deeds. The blank look helped to alleviate Kev's solemnness, the alien taking on a more cheeky squint. Hit too close to home?~ Especially as Discord took on a saccharine little tone. Kev snickered and raised a brow at him. That tone aloneas full of sparkles and naive optimism. "Oh, there are lost causes, alright. But you don't know that somebody's a lost cause until you try to get to know them and see how they are! Sometimes someone who seems like a lost cause at first could turn out to just need a good ear. Especially if you have a bad first impression..." It wasn't easily that Kev deemed anyone to be a lost cause. "That's the spirit, Discord! As long as you keep a positive outlook, and try your best, I think you'll do fine." Sometimes, whether one succeeded or not, what truly counted was that they tried.

    Kev's head cocked to the side, giving Discord a perplexed blink as the draconequus seemed to gag on his chocolate. Swallowed it the wrong way, maybe? Though obviously confused by the action, Kev allowed it to be covered up by the cough and decided not to comment on it. "Mm?" Now what was that mumble about? Unless... "Ooh I get it. You spent so long not fitting in that the idea of fitting in now is weird. That's fine! You don't have to fit in if you don't want." Sounded like somebody wanted to be a rebel, which was more than fine. Not everybody was comfortable with being one of the crowd. "Hmm..." At that last question, the alien turned thoughtful. He went silent, contemplative, and rubbed his chin lightly as he leaned back into his chair with a soft creak. What hadn't this place seen...?

    "Well we've had our fill of evil Gods...a powerful supernatural creature with a corrupting aura... A rogue AI, environmental changes, toxic goo that turns you into an insane addict, technically had two of those... An evil circus, some time travel, a town of demons who use people's bodies like batteries...stuff of that nature is what this place has seen, so if you've got stuff that isn't along any of those lines, then this place might not have seen it!" All of the events that he had either seen or been a part of, and the evil Gods thing was probably the most prevalent, most common. "From what I was told of your world, a lot of those things seem pretty strange, even to me! So maybe things more from your world would be the type of thing this place hasn't seen before."


    _________________
    "I'm Kev, and I speak through the power of telepathy. It is represented by italics and the color code #33CC66."

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    Re: Breakeven

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