Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    What Are Friends For?

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    Fear
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Fear on Tue Oct 07, 2014 8:58 am

    Judge Mortis wrote:It isss never too late to expand upon one's repertoire of ssskillsss, brother.

    Ugh, charisma... Judges were not bottom-feeding politicians, although the former profession did have plenty of graft back in the day. Nevertheless, his brother was subtly implying that diplomacy was a skill that required expansion; that it was a skill that should not be overlooked in favour for brusque, yet genuine, tactics when dealing with the sinful. There was reason in Judge Mortis' insight, he could not deny, but it still felt largely unsatisfying. I... sssuppossse, Judge Fear hissed, not entirely convinced. They will have to see which method is more fruitful in acquiring what both Dark Judges sought. Fortunately the more amiable of the two (as well as the more capable with interpersonal relations) had offered to keep Kev's house droid, Marvin, occupied. Good, for Judge Fear's abrasive personality could only feign geniality for so long. I will be sssure to do ssso, brother. Keep the houssse droid from asssking quessstionsss and sssnooping further. That left Kev to him... Hold hard, patience!

    "Of courssse there isss a wrong way for making tea," he scolded, Judge Fear once more focusing on the present. Soon the kettle was filled with an acceptable level of water and he set it upon the alien's quaint little hob, leaving Kev to clean his dishes like a good man. There was no excuse to have a dirty tea set! Now, then. To fetch the milk and to make an attempt (don't pray for much else) at soothing the alien's bubbling anxieties. Tch, never too late to expand one's repertoire of skills...

    How about remembering what a refrigerator was? Grud knows it's been a while.

    Grotesque fingernails were heard scratching about Kev's fridge aimlessly and it took Judge Fear a couple of seconds to recall what the milk carton looked like. What colour was milk again? Should it be white or should it be yellow, with a curdled texture and a smell that could awake even the dead? Ah, right. Silly him. It was white and oftentimes had a caricature of a spotted beast on it, like this container here. Cow, was it? "The milk hasss been acquired while you are busssy," he rasped, shutting the refrigerator door. Was the alien done with his scrubbing, yet? Hmm, maybe not... Sinners had this thing called exhaustion, see. As with the kettle, Judge Fear set the carton next to the hob - but of course not on it, for that would be a rather bad thing. It was taking a while for his memory to jump-start, so give him a bit to warm up. Things were just different when you've been undead for too long. ...Was the scrubbing still not done? A few hot coals beneath the alien's feet would have sped things right along.

    "The houssse droid isss no doubt concerned for itsss owner. Thisss isss a logical asssumption." He may not understand the finer details of machinery and the like, but the Dark Judge had observed many such elaborate sinner contraptions during his purges in Mega-City One. The subservient automatons were typically used for menial labour or cannon fodder; two occupations that sinners found beneath them, although one was perfectly lawful. Institutionalized slavery, really.

    Did Kev believe in the practice by owning Marvin? Wrongful subjugation was a serious offense.

    Alas, the Dark Judge would be here all day (which he wouldn't have minded if purging Kev was a possibility) by conveniently recalling hair-splitting nuances in the law to justify additional death sentences. An enjoyable pastime, but it was currently out of his judicial reach. For now...

    So he instead reached around his back and withdrew something that wasn't - an old tea tin, to be precise. Naturally it was not his; Judge Fear owned very little, save for his robes of office. Where had he gotten it, then? Ah, fret not. The ghoul had not purged someone for it. Although, if he were to be truthful, that would have been a pleasant bonus. Giving it a gentle shake revealed that something loose was jostling within, perhaps further exciting Kev's curiosity - should the alien be paying attention. Judge Fear did not come forward with any additional information, however. He simply loomed there, in the usual creepy, motionless stance, and bore figurative holes into the back of Kev's head with his unwavering gaze alone.  

    A little awkward, but it wasn't as if Judge Fear was aware of it.
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Mortis on Wed Oct 08, 2014 12:34 am

    Yes, yes, to act in a way that was untrue to one's motives was suffering to say the least. Judge Mortis would be lying if he said he did not sympathize with the more zealous of their duo, after all, whie he decided the subtle approach to be more in their benefit given their weakened states, what was once four and six reduced to merely two. Forcing the alien to do as they wished of him could be done, but it would much more of a challenge than was warranted or needed.

    Fret not, brother. Thisss unrelenting necesssity for ssecrecy isss not to my tassstesss either, but until our posssitionsss as bringersss of death are irrefutable, we mussst maintain a low profile. He consoled, all too aware that Fear did not sound very convinced at this method of attaining their previously held power over the sinful criminals that plagued all that lived. Soon enough, brother, he too would be at his former strength and purging right alongside the helmeted ghoul. Until then... He was content with keeping a certain droid from snooping about their affairs. With Kev left in the...well, hands of Judge Fear, he returned his attention to the ever inquisitive Marvin.

    Alas, Fear, he could not call you truly capable in the areas of subtlety just yet.

    Unsurprisingly, the robot apparently had not heard his owner make mention of the two Judges. Given prior events the last time the duo had went and visited the alien, there was very little reason for Kev to even acknowledge they existed. Regardless, the statement sounded innocent enough, even with the robot's electronic voice there was a hint of ignorance in that it did not exactly know why he never talked of them, but at the same time did not question it. Good droid. To further prove this hunch, the robot quickly moved on to talking about the animals, tending to the turtles in the morning while Kev had handled the dogs and cat. "Turtlesss, hm?" Wait, those were the things with shells on their back, right? Or was he talking about that odd kind of dove... Well, a bird with a shell on its back did not sound very sensible, so it had to be the former. "I believe Fear and I have ssseen a few out here on the way to Kev'sss housssse. They are quite ssslow moving creaturesss, yesss. What do they tend to eat, I do not believe I have ever sssseen one feed before?" He rasped, rolling his wrist as he gestured for the robot to continue.

    Inevitable wrote:"How do you and your companion know Kev?"

    At this the ghoul's tail gently curled and came to rest in his lap, the question hardly coming as a surprise. After all, they were strangers that Kev seemed to know and yet never said a thing about them. "We are acquaintancessss of your owner from the ssanctuary. Every now and again we crosss pathsss, likely you have not heard of usss becaussse we rarely meet, it isss more of a luck of the draw." He hissed idly. "Your desssign however isss quite intruiging. I do not believe I have ssseen another with your particular appearance. Are you a cusssstom model perhapsss?" The ghoul soon noted aloud. Maybe switching the conversation over to the droid would prove to ease what reservations it held against them. After all, AI's from what he could tell tended to be rather eager to speak about themselves. KARR definitely never shut up about his capabilities.

    Oh, wait a moment, his brother was being a precious, awkward harbinger of anxiety and fear again. Grud, brother, he could feel that stare outside through the walls of the kitchen and out into the living room. Mortalsss find a prolonged ssstare impolite He stated across their link. Perhapsss offer to help with the tea sssset or make sssome conversssation. Mortalsss tend to like when you asssk quessstionsss about how they are doing, it makesss them feel like you care. He offered, all the while keeping his eye sockets upon the robot in front of him.

    Hopefully Marvin did not find the empty stare of his vacant eye sockets unsettling. Alas, Mortis failed to bring along a massive set of googly eyes to place people at ease... Or maybe it would just put them at even greater unease. Hm.
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Kev on Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:53 pm

    At the scolding, Kev rolled his eyes lightly. "I guess you'd know more about that than me." The alien was no stranger to tea, over the years he had found himself coming to like tea more and more in fact. But since Kev's own sense of...er...taste, was vastly different from those that possessed a mouth, he supposed he could have made some terrible tea in the past and just didn't realize it. Kev busied himself with the tea set, using the sponge to get in every crevice and corner of the insides of the set, primarily the little spout of the tea pot. The more he scrubbed and lathered the soap up, the more he relaxed. Funny how washing the dishes could be so soothing.

    The alien glanced back to see Judge Fear fumbling in the fridge for a moment before locating the milk jug. "Good, good." Usually the alien didn't have milk in his kitchen, not being a fan of it, but he'd bought some to prepare since he knew Judge Fear liked to put milk in his tea. Frankly the liquid was such an odd thing in his own opinion. Just...casually drinking the secretions of cow udders. Casually putting it in tea and coffee. What other secretions did humans like to put in their drinks? Dog tears? Bear sweat? Kev's attention turned back to the set as he set aside the tea pot and a few of the cups, waiting for everything to be scrubbed clean before he rinsed it all free of the suds.

    Judge Fear wrote:"The houssse droid isss no doubt concerned for itsss owner. Thisss isss a logical asssumption."

    "Owner...?" The lean alien blinked and turned towards the Judge questioningly, frothy soap dripping off of his hands and plopping into the sink. The concept of being seen as Marvin's owner was strange. He didn't own Marvin anymore than he owned Nym. Animals were owned, not people. Though, Kev remembered that not all robots were the same. All of the robots he had ever met here had their own personalities, they were no different from organics in his mind. But some robots were not like that. Some robots, such as the first Marvin, were merely drones. Blank slates who were supposed to fulfill a purpose. "I don't really own Marvin. He lives here with me, and he helps me with chores but...he's like a roommate. Or a spawn." The alien turned his attention back to the sink, finishing up the last few dishes, though his eyes flickered back when he heard Judge Fear jostling...something. Not to mention he could feel the Judge's odd stare on his back.

    "I'm almost done." He reassured softly, taking note of the metal tin in Judge Fear's hand as he placed the last of the dishes in the other side of the sink and began to rinse them free of soap. Grabbing a dish towel, the alien began to hand dry the tea set until everything was set on the counter, clean and ready to be used. "So what's in the tin?" Better not be drugs!

    Back in the living room, Marvin bobbed his head at Judge Mortis. "Yes, three of them." Such odd little creatures, turtles. They were perhaps the only critters in Kev's care that did not have fur of any kind. The robot's head tilted curiously. "You have?" It made him wonder where they had seen the turtles. Had to be near a body of water. His head bobbed again, yes the turtles were very slow and lethargic. And as for what they eat? "Magoo, Doc, and Pie like to eat cucumbers, carrots, apples, and strawberries. They also like to eat grasshoppers and crickets, but those are a little harder to find."

    When Mortis' tail curled up to rest on Mortis' own lap, the robot craned his head to look at the strange little appendage. Most of the bipeds he had met did not possess a tail, and yet this one did. His attention flickered back up to the skull as Mortis spoke. "Ah, I see." The Sanctuary was something he had heard of often from Kev, and he knew the alien was usually there if he was not at work whenever he was in the City. Marvin had yet to go there himself, though he was a little curious to. One day, perhaps. Kev being called his owner was a curious and new detail, though Marvin did not linger on it like Kev had. Kev and these Judges were more acquaintances than anything else, happening upon each other rarely. When inquired about his design, the robot turned his head down to briefly inspect himself. True, he had not seen many others with his body. Though he had not met many other robots either.

    "I am a custom model, yes. Custom made for Kev." The robot answered gently, optics turned back to Mortis. Marvin did remember being given to Kev, from Zurg. Anything beyond that, Marvin did not quite remember. He remembered lurking in Zurg's house before he was given to Kev, but otherwise there was no memory for his schematics or about any others like him. Other than perhaps a strange figure he could barely remember, one with a short and stout design. As far as he knew, there was nothing beyond that point. Zurg was the one he saw as his Creator.


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    "I'm Kev, and I speak through the power of telepathy. It is represented by italics and the color code #33CC66."
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Fear on Fri Oct 17, 2014 11:46 am

    Maintain a low profile... In this uniform? Pah, and Kev will somehow choke on his tea and die.

    "...You do not own the houssse droid?" How strange and unlike the more affluent citizens of the Mega City! According to the alien's words, Marvin was more... a roommate? "But he doesss not pay rent," the Dark Judge was quick to point out. Unless, Marvin was charged in labour and not currency? Perhaps this made Marvin more of a... want and not a need; wanted for company, but not necessarily needed for menial work. This gave the ghoul something to thankfully mull over as Kev went about his noble duty of cleaning the tea set. Spic and span, Kev! He wouldn't accept anything but.

    Well, now that you asked... wrote:"So what's in the tin?"

    Again the tin was lightly rustled, pointed talons quietly tapping against its metal playfully.

    "Cocaine," was the matter-of-fact answer. Of course it wasn't drugs! It was much better than drugs, if the Dark Judge had to be truthful - and he was. Leathery soles faintly slapped against the kitchen tiling as chains rattled, Judge Fear looming over Kev's handiwork for a proper inspection. "Hmm..." Ah, he could see his frightening reflection against the ceramic surfaces. Good, very good. "Thisss will do, I sssuppossse." A conservative score for a conservative spirit. As a reward for Kev's diligence, Judge Fear held out his tin and dug a yellowed nail beneath the cover's lip.

    Pop!

    Get a load of that hearty smell, Kev!

    A strong aroma wafted out from the tin, and it was vaguely reminiscent of the woodsy outdoors... With a tinge of smoke, perhaps. Earthy was a good way of putting a finger to the fragrance. It may be difficult to tell for someone like Kev, but at least the smell wasn't so easily lost. And, if he concentrated just enough, he might be able to detect a faint sweetness beneath all of that rich body. The source of this mysterious aroma? Why, a whole generous clump of loose leaves, of course! Loose tea leaves, to be exact. A bit dark in colour, weren't they? "Black tea!" Judge Fear hissed, the puzzle solved. Bless him, he sounded rather excited for a cup. He shambled over toward Kev's tea set and gestured for the alien to closely follow. "I recently went down to the marketsss of Portal City and asssked around for a tea merchant. It wasss bloody hard finding one, but I managed. Mossst ssshoppesss down there sssold their product in teabagsss; I ssspecifically wanted loossse leaf for a richer infusssion." So you can only imagine how long Judge Fear had to shamble about down in the city, hissing and being all around unpleasant to every living citizen that came across his good graces. Oh, suppose he should...?

    The Dark Judge somewhat jolted in place, gaze straight ahead. "I didn't purge anyone to acquire thisss tin," he quickly clarified. Just in case Kev got any silly ideas in that scaly head of his... Right, then! Onward to the instructions. That unpleasant business out of the way, the ghoul set aside his tin and stepped over to allow Kev more room. He'll be making the tea, after all. His cottage, his brew!

    "Firssst thingsss firssst... We need to warm the teapot. Place it on the hob and ssset the flame to itsss lowessst sssetting," Judge Fear rasped. Wait, did Kev even understand what...? "Er, the ssstovetop. Mossst around here probably call it the ssstovetop. Or burner, maybe." Regional differences, regional differences. "Anyway, I digressss. Sssome folksss like to warm their teapot with a swill of heated water, but we're going to make it thisss way. Be sssure not to put any water in the teapot, Kev. That isss what the kettle isss for." Speaking of that kettle... now was its time to shine! With a simple twist and several clicks of the burner's igniter, a cheery little flame roared to life beneath the kettle in a dazzling flare. This one, unlike for the teapot, was set to a medium-high point. "There we are. Now to let the water boil asss we wait for a few minutesss." Was there a clock in Kev's kitchen? Hopefully there was, because it will be useful later.  

    ...And then it became awkward. Mainly for the fact that Judge Fear once again lapsed right back into old habits; he stood deathly-still while staring at the kitchen wall, seemingly neither here or there. The ghoul would have most likely remained this way until the water had boiled, too, had not his brother's gravelly voice interrupted the calm.

    Judge Mortis wrote:Perhapsss offer to help with the tea sssset or make sssome conversssation. Mortalsss tend to like when you asssk quessstionsss about how they are doing, it makesss them feel like you care.

    Eh...? Pretty much sums things up.

    Interpersonal skills were an absolute bore, but he'll never hear the end of it from his brother for making a wretched blunder of things. "Ssso... how are you today, Kev?" A good start! "Did you have any near-death encountersss asss of recent?" ...Spoke too soon.
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Mortis on Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:00 pm

    Interesting, so the house droid was more of a companion than anything required for labor. It was understandable, given the alien did not have much company to his home aside from the animals. Even then one would begin to grow a little... strange after prolonged time spent with the furry creatures. While the ghoul could not see Kev as being a cat-collector, that flock of sheep could grow quite massive and he could take up a herding profession. Crazy sheep-person Kev. That certainly would be a sight to see. In the meantime, Marvin was preoccupied with talking about turtles, naming off the three that they held in their care along with the foods they eat. "Ah, I sssee. With their beaksss I had initially believed they ate sssmall animalsss." Mice or fish, perhaps. Maybe a small bird if it got too close. Alas, a nature lover Judge Mortis was not, such facts and trivia were beyond him.

    Aside from that, the ghoul was quite attentive, taking note as the robot glanced down at his tail. It was nothing much to behold, caudal vertebrae held together by old and rotted cartilage. However, he figured likely it was more due to the droid's chores at home and a lack of getting out more that he was curious about it. "Do you accompany Kev outssside of hisss property at all?" He rasped, before elaborating, "Asss a companion, one would think you would perhapsss join him on hisss walk to the city. Unlesss your sssyssstemss are not properly fitted for sssuch a trip." Although the ghoul would not be surprised if Marvin followed him to the city in order to help out with menial errands, he could not help but wonder if the droid was home bound. Regardless, the machine did not appear to be anything that was worth worrying over for the time being, it would not intrude on their plans so long as they were not made audible to its audio receptors, if he thought the term correctly. He had heard the vehicle speak of such odd bits of electronic anatomy before.

    Meanwhile, in the kitchen... Judge Fear had procured a tin of black tea! Loose leaf to boot from the sound of it. "It hasss been quite a long time sssince we had ssssome proper." He commented to the two at the sink, still sitting comfortably upon the couch. How long has it been, a century or so since they had tea? Loose leaf may as well have been declared extinct on Deadworld, and the time spent in the Mega-City hardly had been so kind or permitting...

    Drokk! wrote:"I didn't purge anyone to acquire thisss tin,"

    With how booming his voice was, that surely would have echoed out to reach the droid's hearing things! Careful with your language, brother. We do not wisssh for the droid to get any ideasss. He quickly warned, before turning his attention to Marvin. "Ah, my brother isss a joker." He chuckled, giving the robot a small pat on the shoulder. "Though that one issss more of an in-joke, long ssstory that one. I would not wisssh to bore you with the detailsss." The undead Judge added before returning his clawed digits to rest on the upholstery. Nope, certainly no killing going on here! Nothing that could possibly endanger Kev's life or draw suspicion to their actions.

    After that, things went on rather smoothly, the stronger of the two lawmen instructing Kev on the proper heating of water for tea, along with a few tips. Until of course the instruction ended and Fear was left with nothing to do, little to busy his just claws with as he stared blankly at drokking wall. If he could facepalm in front of present company,  the sound of a rotted palm meeting his forehead would have been deafening. Yes, that was certainly his dear brother; part cat, part undead, all justice. Thankfully he heeded his advice and decided to make some polite conversation--?

    So Much for Polite wrote:"Ssso... how are you today, Kev? Did you have any near-death encountersss asss of recent?"

    Unable to quickly think of a good cover while his brother said that, Mortis suddenly gave a loud, wheezing cough, turning away from the droid for a moment as he somehow got something caught in his throat. The one that did not exist because there was no flesh there to begin with. Yes... Thumping a fist against his chest, the ghoul recovered and turned back to Marvin. "Apologiesss, had a sssmall hiccup. Happensss every now and again." He hissed pleasantly. Hopefully that had been loud enough to keep the droid from hearing anything odd. While Marvin was busy puzzling that inevitable conundrum out, Fear would find his brother's voice apparent within his mind once more. Find a topic about sssomething other than hisss possible demissse. Mortalsss do not tend to asss sssuch... Forward quessstionsss. It was incredibly awkward!
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Kev on Sun Oct 26, 2014 9:37 pm

    "Noooo...?" Kev answered the likely rhetorical question of ownership over Marvin almost tentatively. And when he mentioned rent, the alien blinked. "You have to pay rent to be a roommate...? Huh...I didn't pay rent when I lived with Arius or Leslie..." He and Leslie had started off as roommates and friends, after all. Though living together had only caused their feelings for each other to grow. Remembering the moon fae did put a slight damper on his mood, as he dried his hands off, though being that he had company, he shrugged at Fear and chuckled a little. "Guess I was a bum of a roommate." Not even paying any rent, for shame. Though, Arius and Kev had lived in a church, so Arius didn't really have any rent to pay for. As for Leslie, there was no mortgage or monthly fees needed as she had bought the whole thing with one single sum of cash.

    "Cocaine?!" The alien parroted, dishrag falling right through his fingertips and to the kitchen floor. "You can't bring cocaine in here! If I get high on that stuff with you, Marvin's gonna find out and he'll probably tell Zurg and Zurg's gonna be all 'Drugs are bad Kev, unless its gas, because I have a secret problem.'!" The aliens arms flailed about frantically before he abruptly stopped. Instead, he squinted at the Judge and pointed at him. "Ooooh I get it. That was a joke. You were joking~!" And would you look at that, it was a joke without death even being mentioned! Smelled like progress. "Just 'do', huh?" Aw well, you win some, you lose some.

    Kev's face turned a bit skeptical when Judge Fear pried his tin open with a fingernail, eugh, he didn't think that was exactly sanitary...though, mmm. Whatever tea leaves Fear had in there, it smelled quite...delicious! Unashamed, the alien leaned his head back so that his nostrils were up in the air as he inhaled the scent, feeling it deep in his chest. "Mmm..." It was quite earthy, like freshly dug soil or a fire that had just been put out. The scent was very rich, very thick, though beneath it was a nice sweet smell as well. Black tea, Judge Fear called it. Gods, if it weren't completely uncouth (not to mention rude), he'd reach into that tin and shove every single tea leaf into his nostrils so he could smell it forever. Of course, he would eventually suffocate. Something Judge Fear would no doubt approve of. The alien's eyes opened back up as he nodded along, listening to Judge Fear attentively. "Leslie liked loose leaf, I like either one. Though I'd like the name of the merchant you went to! Wouldn't mind some of that for myself." Judge Mortis commented that it had been a while since they'd had proper tea and Kev commented back "Its been a while since I've had loose-leaf tea too!"

    Though Judge Fear's sudden clarification, as well as the tense posture, earned a curious blink. "...That's....good? I didn't think you had but...thanks for letting me know!" Oh, Judge Fear. You awkward turtle. Kev reached forward to give him a reassuring pat right when the Judge moved out of the way, Kev glancing down at his outstretched arm awkwardly before pulling it behind his back and pretending like that moment had not happened. At the instructions, the alien blinked blankly, the word 'hob' practically going in one ear hole and out the other. Though he chimed a quick "Oh!" at the clarification. The alien had never warmed his teapot before, but he would heed the instructions. Grabbing the delicate little thing, he placed it on the 'hob' and set the knob to its lowest setting, giving Judge Fear a nod when told to NOT put water in it. Judge Fear handled the kettle and soon the stovetop was generating its own, nice warmth. The alien was fine to just stand there and absorb the heat from a safe position, glancing over at the Judge when he suddenly spoke. "Oh, I'm pretty good-"

    Judge Awkward wrote:"Did you have any near-death encountersss asss of recent?"

    "..." The alien blinked at the Judge blankly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Um...no? Not...really. I don't attract many near-death encounters very much anymore. The last time might have been when we tried to get this dragon thing out of Uriel." What a lovely question. Kev turned his eyes back to the kettle before glancing quickly at Judge Fear. "How about you? What've you been up to? You don't seem to be in the Sanctuary as much anymore. Not that I keep track of when you're in there. Just...you know, you're a hard guy to miss."

    ---

    "Perhaps in the wild, they do eat smaller animals." The only small animals he had seen them consume had been insects. Though perhaps if they became big enough, they could eat mice and other pests. The robot was momentarily distracted by the tail Mortis owned, taking in the details of it. It was skeletal, much like the head Mortis possessed. And yet those seemed to be the only parts of him that were skeletal, as his feet and hands were obviously covered in skin. A sickly-looking skin, but skin nonetheless. With such sharp, harsh nails too...

    "Hm?" The robot's gaze adjusted itself back to the glowing eye sockets of Mortis. "No, I don't." At the suggestion that his systems might not handle the walk, the robot looked down at his legs, giving them a slight prod. "I am unsure. I think my systems might be able to handle it, however." Truth be told, the robot did secretly wish to venture out more, to see what was around, but he did not think to ask Kev about going. It wasn't as if he was unhappy here, after all. Merely curious. For the most part, the robot politely ignored the talk in the kitchen, as it wasn't his business, but the mention of purging someone did get his attention, the robot's gaze turning to the kitchen. Only a pat on the shoulder deterred him, optics resting on Mortis once more. "You and your brother have an in-joke about killing people?" What an...interesting sense of humor. "If that is what you prefer. I will not make you explain it." Leave it to Kev to embrace and befriend such...interesting characters.

    Judge Fear wrote:"Ssso... how are you today, Kev? Did you have any ne-"
    Judge Mortis wrote:"HACK-HACK-HA-COUGH"

    The robot inclined his head when the skull-headed Judge suddenly turned away, coughing and pounding his own chest as though he were choking. "Are you alright?" Just a cough that happens every so often? The robot's head tilted to the side lightly. "I see. Do you need water?" How a head like that could consume water, or tea for that matter, or even cough, Marvin did not know.


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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Fear on Sun Oct 26, 2014 11:44 pm

    Yes, Nana wrote:Careful with your language, brother. We do not wisssh for the droid to get any ideasss.

    A tired sigh escaped the Dark Judge, loud enough to be audible. That was his brother, worrying about the only the most irritating of things... Yes, yes. Go ahead and tell the nosy house droid that their profession was a joke. Ha ha ha! You see, Mortis? Laughter. Oh how the ghoul tired of this demeaning charade.

    "A thoughtful roommate paysss rent, ssshould the essstablissshment require it," Judge Fear elaborated. "Or, if money isss tight, then at leassst the roommate can take care of the premisssesss and offer alternative ssservicesss. Mossst young folk sssuch asss yourssself do not ssseem ssso keen on cleaning and cooking." And before the alien said he wasn't a young buck, keep in mind that the Dark Judge was well over double Kev's age. Maybe even triple! "You are only a bum ssso long asss you do not carry your own weight," hissed the undead fiend. You are also a bum if you loiter around the streets with nowhere to go and refuse to work, but those were just nitpicking details. Oh, hello. Seems the alien had an issue regarding drugs. Rather lawful of him.

    Judge Fear pointed a yellowed talon down at the floor. "You dropped your dissshrag," he pointed out, being helpful. You should be proud of him, brother. And look at Kev, thinking that the Dark Judge would be criminal enough to traffic illegal substances on his just person. Ghostly eyes took note of the alien's finger, a quiet - "Mm" - disturbing the air. Suddenly the undead fiend was reminded of what constituted as proper manners. "It isss rude to point," he rasped. But it certainly wasn't rude to appreciate a good tin of tea leaves. Although, the name of the merchant...?

    A few rotten fingers scratched at the side of his iron helm, the Dark Judge having never acquired that particular bit of information. "I do not... recall," was the technically honest answer. And nice awkward moment there yourself, Kev. It was fortunate for the alien that Judge Fear's peripheral vision was shoddy.

    Kev wrote:"Um...no? Not...really. I don't attract many near-death encounters very much anymore."

    Aw...

    "What a ssshame. Better luck ne - " And then his brother, oh his brother, thought to pretend-cough a storm while throwing Marvin off their tracks. He also thought to advise on what were acceptable topics for mortal conversation. Mmmrrrrghgnnngh... Very well, Mortis. No matter how much this hurt Judge Fear's immortal spirit (and it hurt him plenty), he was going to do as you suggested. The weapons of mass destruction were worth it. "Apologiesss, Kev!" the ghoul hissed. Boy was it sure hard to muster up enough stomms to give. A gangrenous hand rested upon the alien's shoulder as Judge Fear stooped a little lower. "I forget that we are friendsss at timesss." Nnngh, the 'F' word. It burns! The Dark Judge glanced to the kettle and then the clock, his expert tea senses informing him that the water was not quite perfect. Soon, however. "What I meant to sssay wasss: how have you been lately? Done anything exciting? Perhapsss learn a new ssskill or experience a different hobby?" Good Grud, being a conversationalist was bloody difficult. Bloody boring, too.

    Without fail, the ghoul had not been expecting Kev to actually inquire about his unlife. Judge Fear 'blinked' for a moment, the Dark Judge having to mentally rewind and condense the last week into a short, concise response. "I have been purg - sssaving a couple of aimlessss transssientsss in Portal City." An excellent correction. "I have alssso been wandering thessse landsss, bringing jussstice to thossse who yearn for sssalvation." There, that sounded fairly decent, right?

    ...Right?

    Another pregnant pause, another awkward glance to the kettle and silently wishing that it hurried the hell up. Erm, what else? Thinking, the Dark Judge forced himself to apply more thought to this captivating discussion. "...I've alssso, uh, been ssslightly busssy. Being a Judge of the law who worksss around the clock nonssstop isss ssstressssful work, you know. Asss for the Sssanctuary, it isss quite draining on my perssson. Ssso much life, ssso many missssed opportunitiesss to bring othersss to a more lawful ssstate. Fraysss my nervesss." As well as tried his patience. Were these good enough answers? Would the alien be satiated enough to leave the topic alone? Why wasn't that kettle done boiling!?
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Mortis on Thu Oct 30, 2014 2:40 pm

    Sigh all you wish, Fear. That droid was not going anywhere soon so long as it decided Kev's guests were interesting. Especially if they had bony tails and were of the undead nature. Of course, he understood the ghoul's awkwardness regarding social norms completely. Even he had a few issues with remembering common manners every once in a while. However, so long as Kev's droid cared about his well-being... It was best to keep the more alarming topics of discussion to a minimum.

    Thankfully Marvin was not all that smart.

    The droid's gaze was rather apt to focus on his bony tail, along with the rest of his being as Judge Mortis could almost feel the droid scanning over his host. For a brief moment, the undead Judge entertained the notion of asking if the robot found anything curious, if only to keep its attention on him for the time being. Fear, for all his attempts at socializing with Kev, was still very loud. Almost too loud to ignore. "You ssseem rather interesssted in my tail." He pointed out. "Firsssst time you had sssseen exposssed bone?" He added, the ghoul's croaking rasp patient despite the machine's inquisitive actions. Damn things could be like the children of the living when they wanted to be.

    Droid wrote:"You and your brother have an in-joke about killing people? If that is what you prefer. I will not make you explain it."

    Nailed it, or so he decided. Apparently the robot was not one to travel alongside the green alien either, although the way it looked down at its plated legs seemed rather contemplative. "You ssshould go out more." He gently encouraged. "There are milessss upon milesss of thisss planet to explore." He leaned a little closer, until his face was next to where he would expect the robot's ears to be. They usually put them on the sides of the head, right? "I hear that thisss planet isss not even fully explored yet. Imagine the mysssteriesss you could uncover." He quietly hissed, wondering at the possibility.

    Think about it, droid. You could uncover a new continent, become the savior or destroyer of civilizations yet to be discovered! Or he could just go down to the corner and get the mail, a monotonous and rarely rewarding adventure to be repeated over and over...

    Predictably the droid held some sort of preserving, caring behavior. At its inquiry, the ghoul gave a small wave to the machine and replied, "Do not worry, it isss but a sssmall..." Oh, what was the word? "A sssmall tick." There it was. Alas, his brother was not so hospitable. Honestly, it made the ghoul wonder why he wished to visit the alien if he was not going to follow his advice. Or at the very least, bring him along for the ride. While a few of his responses made the ghoul inwardly cringe at how obvious he made it seem that their profession was killing every living thing in existence, the rest he decided were well enough to keep the droid from seeing through their disguise.

    Bringing justice and salvation sounded much better than purging and near death experiences. At least to the naive, mortal ear. Once the topic was brought back around to the Sanctuary, Fear had enough tact to move the alien away from the subject and towards something more to his tastes. Very good. He hissed across their link. His brother's growing agitation seeped across the line like a dense mist, the sheep-skulled ghoul doing what he could to fan it aside with calm and contented thoughts. Fret not, I'm going to move the droid out to sssomeplace where it will not ssso readily eavesssdrop and become sssussspiciousss." He promised, before returning his attention to the droid.

    "How about we ssstretch our legsss while waiting for the water to boil, hm?" He suggested to the droid, before turning his skull to the kitchen. Bone crackled with the unnatural rotation of his skull as it turned about on his neck without any other bodily shifting from his host. "Kev, friend. Would it be alright with you if I take Marvin out to ssssee the ssssheep?" He asked, "Once the water isss ready we can be called back in."

    His brother would likely value the privacy between himself and the green alien for sure. Of course, their link would still be retained, just in case Fear required some tips or needed advice. Not that he usually asked.
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Kev on Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:48 pm

    Judge Fear elaborated on ways one could be a good roommate without paying rent, the alien perking up eagerly. "Oh, I see! In that case, I'm not a bum." Living with Arius, Kev had been the one who took their clothes to the laundromat to clean them. Took a while to learn, but with time he had riddled out the washer and dryer machines! Leslie and himself had always split the work up evenly, and he'd helped her to fix this place up. Paying the rent...eh wasn't exactly possible. But he most definitely carried his weight! And that was pretty relieving, he'd hate to be a terrible roommate.

    WOT WOT wrote:"Mossst young folk sssuch asss yourssself do not ssseem ssso keen on cleaning and cooking."

    At this however, the alien rested a hand on his own hip, eyes narrowed. "What are you implying? Because I clean this place and the store, and I cook the best I can considering I don't really eat! I'm no lazy bones." Somebody's jimmies were jambled. Though as for being young, he couldn't refute it that much. For his own kind he was still considered a young adult. So long as the Judge didn't starting calling him 'child' or 'kiddo'...Kev's eyes flickered down to the dropped dishrag and he bent down to pick it up, that other finger still pointing. "Oh, thanks." He flattened it out and laid it by the sink to dry, giving a snort when the Judge tried to cite 'proper manners'. "Its also rude to wish for someone to choke." Sound familiar?

    Judge Fear did not get the name of the Merchant? ...That purging theory seemed to have a bit more credit now. "That's fine. How about the store, do you remember the name of the store?" You can do it Judge Fear, just gotta put some think in that thunk. The alien's gaze flattened at the initial reaction to no near-death encounters. Yes yes, he wanted Kev to die and...all that. Though he was surprised when the Judge began to backtrack. "With all the moments and personal things we've shared, how could you forget?" The alien teased lightly as the Judge rested a hand upon Kev's shoulder. The alien took that as something of an invitation, wrapping an arm around him to pull the corpse in for a hug. "No hard feelings!" Judge Forgetful ought to be his name-o. "I've been alright, lately. Been taking it easy. I've uh...got some new skills and hobbies and stuff I'm gonna be working on in the future and I want to make sure I'm not burnt out before we start. You know?" Hint-edy hint hint.

    There had been a time where learning that the Judge was out purging people would have unnerved the alien and made him scared. For better or for worse, the alien had become somewhat used to the Judges' and their...habits. The answer was basically expected by this point. The alien's head merely nodded, hearing that the Judges' had been out and about, purging. Likely, he hadn't known any of them or else he would have heard something by now. "Then it seems this tea break isn't just good for me, but also good for you and your brother. Everyone needs to slow down sometimes, and who better to slow down with than some friends? No worries about purging or any of that! You just relax that helm of your's and let ole Kev make the tea." Wasn't friendship grand?

    ---
    The robot gave a brief shake of his head. "The cat hunts pests, and Nym likes to hunt as well. The cat, however, likes to leave presents outside. Some of her kills have had bone exposed from the wound. But you are the first time I have seen exposed bone on something that still moves." The robot paused for a moment, as if weighing his words. Cautiously, he asked "What...exactly are you and your brother? I have never encountered any like you two. " The skull headed man seemed to feel the robot's inner curiosity, because he suddenly urged for Marvin to go out more. Who was he to disagree?

    "Miles?" The robot seemed to whisper, voice soft and pensive. This cottage was basically all he knew, and it was a fine place to live. He enjoyed it here, enjoyed the animals, enjoyed the atmosphere. But everyone needs a change in scenery sometimes, even robots. The man moved in closer, the robot turning his head slightly to keep eye-optic contact. "The mysteries here could be very interesting...perhaps I could find something of interest and bring it back. And I'd like to go to the city...see everything this world had to offer." Throughout most of their talk the robot's tone had been light, polite, but pretty monotone, but now the voice's tone was wistful. "I would have to ask Kev but...I would like to try that."

    A small tick? As long as he didn't start coughing like that again. The robot would hate to see what he'd hack up. The robot nodded his head and for a moment there was silence between them. When the man spoke up again, he mentioned stretching their legs while the tea was made. "I have no objections to that." Sitting on the couch was awkward anyway. The robot clambered out of the couch and stood before Judge Mortis, head swiveling towards the kitchen as the Judge asked Kev's permission. That terrible cracking noise though...

    "Hm?" Kev's head peeked so they both could see. The alien had somewhat hoped to see Mortis react to the sheep, though it wasn't as though Mortis had never seen a sheep before. So perhaps he could watch again later. "Sure! Have fun, you crazy kids!"


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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Fear on Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:44 pm

    What are you implying, asks Kev... A light shrug was the Dark Judge's innocent response.

    "Huffy, huffy," he rasped, tutting. "Besssidesss, you are not quite asss young asss I wasss referring to. You, Kev, have managed to sssire three children and are currently entering your golden yearsss." His eternal golden years, apparently. What a dreadful thought. Judge Fear continued while gesturing, "Additionally, you sssomehow manage to keep thisss cottage at a tentative level of acceptable cleanlinesssss. Not perfect or lawful, but we sssuppossse it isssn't a pigsssty." Same with the alien's shop, if Kev truly wanted to engage in short debates. "And where we come from it isss perfectly fine to wisssh sssomeone a choking ssspell. Ssshould they choke on their meal and peacefully depart, it makesss our a job a whole lot easssier! Collecting their tipsss every now and then isssn't ssso bad, either." Judging the masses was hard work, don't you know?

    Predictably, the alien was rather dogged in knowing the name of the tea merchant - the very tea merchant whose name the Dark Judge could not properly remember. Hadn't he already told Kev this? "..." Yes, he had. So cue more awkward staring, Judge Fear seemingly incapable of putting additional effort in recalling this minor, irrelevant detail. "I forget many thingsss," he admitted. Being undead wasn't always a glamorous existence. "I often forget the time of day, the daysss themssselvesss, and even the yearsss. Time isss meaninglessss in the grave." These were just a handful of examples skimmed off the top of the ghoul's armoured head.

    "There isss alssso the vexing habit of forgetting interpersssonal relationsss with sssinnersss. When one isss immortal and freed from life'sss mortal coil, one tendsss to... overlook the deathsss of the unlawful." Take friendships, for example. All of the Dark Judge's graduating class and fellow Judges of the law had since long ago kicked the bucket. And many by his hands, no less! Instructors, classmates, and civilians alike - all nothing more than dust and echoes in the mind. Save for a certain trio, of course. "It isss a lonely exissstence at timesss," Judge Fear remarked, "but you learn to develop a thick ssskin and get over it. No hard feelingsss, Kev. You are unfortunately sssinful by birth, dessstined for a life of crime." To which, naturally, the only cure known was death. How funny, though, that the alien figured to be of a similar (albeit warped) opinion.

    Kev wrote:"No hard feelings! I've been alright, lately. Been taking it easy. I've uh...got some new skills and hobbies and stuff I'm gonna be working on in the future and I want to make sure I'm not burnt out before we start. You know?"

    Of course, of course... At the hug, Judge Fear reacted as customary by grumbling - "Hnngh..." - and wasn't too thrilled by the friendly gesture. His rotten host of a body had much to say as well, numerous organs and sickly flesh producing a cacophony of wet squicks and squelches. Fun! And to think, Kev's ears were hardly a centimeter away from the show.

    "Yesss, yesss... I know," the ghoul reluctantly answered.

    It was then that his brother thought to take the house droid outside and away from any repeated spoken blunders on Judge Fear's behalf. Or, as the Dark Judge secretly opined, so that Judge Mortis could go play with the sheep. Enjoy yourssself at my expenssse, came a grumpy hiss. Leave him with Kev and all of his sugary affection, why don't you? Subtly the ghoul began wriggling out of Kev's cuddly grasp, Judge Fear feeling his skin almost crawl. "We will relax only when all the living have been - " Oops! Incoming shiver. The Dark Judge immediately perked up and rasped, "Water'sss done." And not even a second later the kettle began whistling. See? Inner kettle alarm. He slithered out of the alien's clutches and shambled closer toward the job, rigid corpse fingers audibly creaking and cracking. "Ah, good... Kev, take out a ssspoon and give the pot four generousss ssscoopsss. One for you, one for Judge Mortisss, one for myssself, and one for the pot. Don't forget, asss thisss isss important." Never forget the pot! Anything else? Oh yes! "No ssstrainersss or any of that nonsssenssse," he instructed. "Jussst put the tea leavesss in asss-isss." Simple, right?
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Mortis on Thu Oct 30, 2014 10:45 pm

    Ah yes, the wolf child. Mortis had nearly forgot the blue creature resided with Kev, at least until the memory of that fateful night arose to his mind. He had been eavesdropping on their sentencing of the demon, rude child, Nym. The cats, like any other feline, liked to bring their kills home to deposit at the step or on the carpet. Aside from those corpses, dearest Marving had never seen anything with exposed bone that still moved and acted alive. Which soon lead to another question.

    Inevitable wrote:"What...exactly are you and your brother? I have never encountered any like you two. "

    Hm, how to answer this one... Well, likely the way Mortis tended to answer those that asked what exactly he and his brother were. "We are Judgessss." Came his honest reply. "We pressserve the law, guide the iniquitous onto a more jussst path and protect the innocent." Of course, the ghoul was not going to elaborate as to what exactly the iniquitous and innocent were in their own terms, lest the droid get any odd ideas about them and its owner. "You may know of our professsion along the linesss of criminal jussstice." He elaborated, rolling his wrist in an off-hand gesture. If not, well, it was never too late to enlighten the robot. Tactfully of course.

    Of course, his brother had yet to learn such a virtue among the more impressionable members of the household. Good thing the robot seemed preoccupied with the topic of travel. It even began to sound wistful, a yearning for adventure close to its... Whatever served for its heart. "Yesss, you ssshould asssk him. But..." The ghoul hissed, rising from his seat to tower at his unnatural height. "Be wary of who you ssspeak to in the city, Marvin. Sssuch placesss are a cesspool of crime, the unlawful will gladly prey upon the naive and innocent. The robot should be able to figure just who the ghoul meant by his description. His tail gave a light curl and flicked behind him, his head turning back to face forward as he heard Kev call out from the kitchen. Very well, they were excused to have a look at the sheep while they waited for tea, albeit begrudgingly by his brother.

    Judge Grump wrote:Enjoy yourssself at my expenssse,

    Hardly, Fear. He smoothly returned, turning and beckoning the droid with a gnarled claw before he opened the front door, ducking down under the frame to avoid smacking his head into the colorful drywall. Once out in the sun once more, he kept the door open for Marvin to follow out behind him, before shutting it with a click. There, now his brother could socialize, if he could call it that, with Kev while not having to worry about a third wheel overhearing the conversation.

    Looking out over the rolling green field of the alien's property, Mortis' sockets soon spied a large, red barn smack dab next to his home. Well, how convenient. His long, emaciated legs lurched forward and down the steps of the porch, the Judge making his way to the barn. Already he could hear bleating from the woolly creatures inside. Hm, how many did Kev say he had again? A psychic scan of the area denoted several of the bleating, colorful creatures within the structure's walls. The barn door was pushed aside with little effort, the ghoul striding in to have a look at Kev's flock.
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Kev on Fri Oct 31, 2014 7:34 pm

    "Golden years?!" First he implied he was young, now he implied he was old! The alien seemed to gawk, however one can do that without a mouth, before reminding himself that Judge Fear had no experience with aliens. Even as disconnected as humanity as he was, he was used to humans. The alien took in a nice deep breath through his nostrils, to calmly explain. "For my kind, I'm more in the middle. I'm still sexually mature. A hundred years from now I'll still sexually mature and able to pop out some spawn. Its only after that point that one is considered old and in their 'golden years'. I'm just...you know, an adult. And between you and me, I'm staying at this age, and not any older." Ha, like he wanted to age...sit there and lose his sight and hearing, be an old alien and yell at the children to get off his lawn...no, he was happy where he was, thank you!

    However, the Judge seemed to find the state of the cottage to be acceptable! Granted, he knew there were places for improvement, between his own scales and the animal fur there was lots of sweeping to be done in this place. But it was in one piece, not smelly, and quite cozy. "Thanks! I do try, especially if I'm having company." And in this morbid world of the Judges, apparently it was just common to hope someone chokes. Better for them to pass on, a mercy and a bidding from the torture that was life, and they collected the tips sometimes. "Should have figured that would be your answer." Incorrigible. As for the tea merchant and his store, Judge Fear knew neither. "Guess we ought to conserve your tea leaves then." If they ran out, it might take forever to buy more of those amazing smelling little leaves. As for forgetting details dealing with time, that made sense. Before Portal Breach, the Judges didn't really need to keep track of days. They didn't even sleep, so Kev imagined the days must really run together then. As for forgetting those he was in relations with...well, the Judges didn't usually speak to sinners and all. Or if they did it was a short conversation. 'Hello, time to die!'. Short, sweet, and to the point. "If you guys are lonely, then its no wonder you're all very close!" When the two of them hugged, Kev made sure to give him an extra tight one, though he still wasn't quite used to the, ugh, sounds the Judges' bodies made when they were hugged like this. It was kinda gruesome. But at least Judge Fear understood Kev's super subtle hint!

    "Good!" Off went Mortis and Marvin, off to go see the sheepies that Mortis had wanted to see for so long. Hopefully they would be more welcoming than the cat and dogs had been. If not, the Judge knew where he and Judge Fear were for assistance. The alien blinked at Judge Fear's insistence that they weren't relaxing, able to fill in what he was about to say before the water interrupted. Despite Kev's best efforts however, the kettle created a distraction that allowed for Judge Fear to escape the hug of friendship. Next time, Judge Fear. Next time. As directed, the alien went to a drawer and pulled out a spoon, holding up the tin. Though wait... "One for the pot...? What does that mean?" Couldn't say he'd ever heard of that saying before. In any case, he still scooped out four spoonfuls of the leaves and placed them inside the tea pot. "Whenever Leslie made tea she typically used these cute little tea infuser thingies." And he himself typically used the bag tea. Placing the spoon aside, Kev moved aside so Judge Fear could judge the tea pot contents and decide if they were proper or not.

    ---

    "Judges." Was the robot's flat response. Judges were typical a part of a court system, correct? Handled a gavel, involved in criminal justice, sometimes wore wigs? According to Judge Mortis, their job as a Judge involved law, pointing out just paths, and protecting the innocent. "I never knew being a Judge could be a job and species description." Though that may explain why the two had an inside joke about killing people. Some of the decisions of the law ended in the death of the perpetrator, after all. Perhaps these were a pair of hanging Judges? "Yes, I am familiar with the criminal justice type of Judge. Does this mean you and your brother are a part of the court system here in Portal Breach?"

    Judge Mortis agreed that Marvin should talk to Kev about journeying around the Breach, though he then warned the robot. The city was quite lawless, it seems, and talking to the wrong person could end up terribly wrong. Like predatory creatures, criminals preyed on those that were easy to get, and unfortunately easy prey meant naive and innocent. "Do not worry. I will have care, who I talk to. I may linger more to the wilderness in that case too. Do you know if there are any criminals in the wilderness?" With permission given, Judge and robot had stood up and walked out of the cottage, the robot giving Kev a brief wave before joining Mortis out in the cool air outside. The robot gave him a nod of thanks for holding the door open before glancing around the area. No one was grazing...in that case, they were likely in the barn. Mortis must have come to this same decision, because he began to walk towards the barn, Marvin following behind.

    The barn had several stalls, each one with a layer of hay for bedding. The Llama and the Ordon goat had stalls to their own, since they were bigger, but two of the stalls had two sheep in them, and the last two stalls had one sheep in each. Every animal's head swiveled in the direction of the one who had opened the door, Llama's eyes going cross-eyed before he went back to chewing his cud. The sheep came closer to the doors of the stall, baaing for attention. The sheep had wool of varying shades of blue, a bright pink, a light lilac, and finally a creamy white. The lilac sheep was a ram however, and he was the sheep most interested in the newcomer. Glen baa-ed at him and bumped the door with his horns. "I think he likes you." Marvin commented as he approached the stall with Chester the Ordon goat, reaching over the door to pat the top of his head.


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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Fear on Sat Nov 01, 2014 2:30 pm

    Judge Mortis wrote:Hardly, Fear.

    You son of a...

    "I am ssseveral decadesss your sssenior," the Dark Judge growled, neither confirming or denying that he was taking his frustrations out on the alien. "If I sssay you are young, you are young. And if I sssay you are old, you are old. Got it?" And don't you think to back-sass him either, Kev. The ghoul wasn't open to negotiations! Things only continued to sour upon the realization (and the unwise statement on the alien's behalf) that Kev could procreate well into the future - the eternal future so generously bestowed upon Portal Breach's iniquitous citizens. "Mmmngh... Your ssspawn won't lassst a fortnight," he muttered.

    Fortunately for the Dark Judge and his waning sanity, Kev forgot all about the tea merchant and any additional questions. Unfortunately for the Dark Judge and his waning sanity, Kev's hug had been extra tight. Just for that, Judge Fear's abdomen gurgled and out popped a slimy, disease-ridden intestine - right out of the ghoul's grinning helm! The gooey organ slipped through one of the grating's vents and lifelessly dangled there, an awful smell permeating the area. It was going to take a LOT of incense and pleasing aromas to scrub this scent out from Kev's kitchen walls. "Oopsss~!" hissed Judge Fear, completely insincere. There was a loud - SSSLURRRRP! - and poof went the offending (odorous) body part, inhaled like a string of spaghetti. The ghoul pretended to munch on something, sickening noises echoing within his helm. Now that his brother, that irritating nanny, was out of the picture, it was time for all the shenanigans. If Judge Fear had to suffer, so too did Kev!

    Oh, and... try not to step on the puddles of dead fluids on the floor, friend. Stepping on them, let alone coming into contact with them, was hazardous for one's health. On second thought...

    "One for the pot meansss exactly what it sssaysss," he began to explain with a playful undertone. Someone was feeling better after misbehaving. "You alwaysss give ssscoopsss for yourssself and your guessstsss, never forgetting the pot. It helpsss brew a ssstrong cup!" As for using tea infusers... The ghoul looked off to the side and held up a disagreeing hand. "Eh... I find it better, persssonally, to have a ssstrong brew that isss left unhindered by unnecessssary... gimmicksss." He was a spirit of the law that liked his cuppa bitter, stronger, and ready to knock you on your buttocks! None of that sissy, womanly junk... Water still boiling, Judge Fear peered into the teapot and deemed Kev's handiwork passable. Not too bad... for a novice and an ignorant. "Right, then. Time to add the water. Bring the pot clossser and be careful with it." And once the alien had, being mindful of personal spaces, the ghoul lifted up the kettle and - psssSSSSSSH! - in the water went! Ah, look at all that glorious steam... Can't drink it yet, though! That would just be a terrible brew. "Good! Now place the lid on and let the tea sssteep. Hmm... three to four minutesss ought to sssuffice. Go ahead and get the tea cozy ready in the meanwhile." He glanced at the alien expectantly and patiently waited for the item in question.

    Kev... did have one of those, right?
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Mortis on Sun Nov 02, 2014 11:36 pm

    Cheeky Pile of Scrap wrote:"I never knew being a Judge could be a job and species description."

    At that Mortis gave a quite growl of his own, which sounded like he was gurgling sludge. A job description and a species... Kev's house droid was proving to be a tin-plated smart-ass if he ever saw one. "Our jobsss are our identity, asss we are defined by our dutiesss." He rasped as they trekked across the field. "Ssspeciess, creed, gender, they matter not under the all-encompasssing reach of the law." Came his adamant response to the robot's statements. So long as one had an interest in bringing justice to the iniquitous and keeping the law from falling into anarchy, what did such trivial details matter? However, that was not the only inquiry that the robot had on its mind. Apparently it wished to know if he and Fear were part of the Justice Department for Portal Breach. "We are not part of the city'sss jussstice department, no." He rasped unfaltering as they continued onwards. But, our law extendsss passt mere dissstrictsss, petty boundariesss that break apart jusstice and compartmentalize itsss truthsss. Our law isss all encompasssing."

    Whether people liked it or not.

    Thankfully the robot knew better than to trust every stranger it came across, assuring that it would be careful. "Good." He hissed, patting the droid on the head with his rotted palm. "There isss much darknesss that lurksss in the heartsss of men." He warned, albeit cryptically given he never spoke of what kind of darkness exactly there was. As for the wilderness? "Beassstsss are capable of cunning, but only of a more inssstinctual kind. Ssso long asss you know what they fear, they will possse no threatsss. Otherwisssse, beasstsss are incapable of criminal actsss asss we sssee it, they are innocent ass they do not have a choice in their actionsss." He replied thoughtfully. As Sidney had determined a long while back, they were incapable of true choice, and therein lied what made the living so criminal.

    Speaking of that... Apparently Kev had the idea that the two were quite lonely, which was why they stuck together so closely. His tail gave an agitated sway at that, although he was far from the house, the link between himself and his brother was still quite strong. Not to mention the fact the ghoul could see and hear what his brother did... Along with-

    NASSSTY wrote:SSSLURRRRP!

    Taste. It would take a long while of drinking for that sensation to be lost upon his mind. Hopefully the house was stocked with plenty of vodka, or whatever was strong enough to replicate its burning signature. Despite this, it likely would keep the alien from making anymore odd embraces with his brother's host. Even if it was a sign of affection, Kev had no purpose giving a Judge of the Law a hug, or contact of any kind. In fact he could be sentenced to death for that, lucky they needed him for a favor. In the meantime, the door had been opened and all the sheep were revealed, surprisingly there were very interested in meeting him.

    Especially that big, lilac ram in the back.

    Bang! Bang! His horns rapped against the stall's door. Although from the beast's rather crude thoughts... "Like certainly isss a word for it." Mortis hissed, tilting his head at the fluffy creature before shambling over towards the ewes. Sorry, Glen, but there were such things as rams without horns, and this ram did not shake his tail that way. The blue one especially caught his attention, the ghoul resting his clawed hands on the door of pen and looking down at her vibrant coat. "He takesss good care of them." He noted, raising a claw to gently stroke the wool on top of the sheep's head. More or less it was an effort to keep his gaze and thoughts away from the ram in the back. That thing was just raunchy! "Doess he dye their wool in order to make them ssso colorful?" That could be the only reason he could find for the animals' coloring.

    Giving his ewe of choice a idle scratch behind the ears, he brought his attention back to Fear, who apparently had gotten the water boiling and the tea ready to stew. Very good, soon it would be time to head back. The sound of boiling water pouring into the pot, the steamy hiss it gave... Already the memories of a good pot were making his bony tail give a small wag. Although from the way his brother asked about the tea-cozy, likely this alien was lacking one.
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    Re: What Are Friends For?

    Post by Kev on Wed Nov 05, 2014 7:41 pm

    Kev could not deny that Fear was definitely several years older than himself. That seemed to be quite common here on the Breach was well, being so much younger than some of those here. Zurg and Prixlezub were just a couple of other examples. "Isn't that kinda contradictory though?" The alien pointed out, still keeping a friendly tone even as his companion seemed to become more and more annoyed. If Judge Fear 'decided' how old he was and changed from considering him a 'kid' to thinking he was entering his 'golden years', that was quite extreme. And it didn't do the corpse any favors to his mood to learn that Kev was still capable of creating spawn. "If it'll make you feel better, its not like I can make any, anyway. Not by myself at least." Maybe one day a female would come. Kev doubted it however, and with the luck he had, it'd likely be Jew-Err-Lyy. HNGH.

    Judge Fear's body made the most mysterious sort of gurgling noise, and out from a slit in his helm came a really strange string of...meat? "Is that a sausage?" The alien asked curiously, leaning in a bit more to look it over, though that proved to be a mistake. All at once the smell emanating from it hit Kev's nostrils, seeming to find its resting place in his very lungs. Kev's pupils shrank, his skin seemed to turn a pale green, and the alien's body tensed before suddenly releasing the Judge as though he were infected. Which, from the smell of that thing dangling from his face, was certainly possible "Tulsit! Is that an organ?!" He asked, aghast, before he began to throw open every window in the kitchen, as well as the doors that lead out to the patio in an attempt to bring in some fresh air. The alien stuck his own face out of the window and seemed to desperate inhale the cool breeze from outside, giving a disgusted shiver at the slurping noises and other miscellaneous sounds taking place in the middle of his kitchen. Ugh...

    "Remind me to be more careful with your body." He finally said after a few moments of breathing the fresh air, turning back to the Judge. So one for the pot was basically just putting in an extra scoop of tea leaves so that it'd make a strong brew. "I guess that makes sense." Definitely a creative thing to call it. The tea infusers didn't impress the Judge much, Kev giving him a shrug. It didn't burn his biscuits any, he didn't really know where her infuser was anyway. When prompted, the alien came closer and held the pot out so that Judge Fear could pour the water in, being mindful of the steam that wafted out of the pot. With a nod, Kev set the tea pot down on the counter and placed the little lid on top. Wow, British tea was kinda easy!

    Judge Fear wrote:"Go ahead and get the tea cozy ready in the meanwhile."

    "..." The scaly alien turned to the Judge and gave him a blank stare. The gears in his head turned like a well oiled cog. And yet! He could not quite conjure up what exactly a 'tea cozy' was. Nor why it would need to be 'ready'. What for? And how? "Is that...a rag thing? Or some sort of...tea...machine?" What in the world was a tea cozy?

    ---

    Marvin gave Mortis a curious, side-long glance at the noise he had made. It almost sounded like the skull headed man was choking on something, though from the way he spoke next, the robot deduced that the noise he had made was one of displeasure. How curious, that these two beings considered their job to be such a huge part of their identity. Kev had a job at a store in the city, this Marvin knew, but it did not seem to be the alien's identity. In jobs of law, however, it seems they held the job to be a part of them. "At least that sounds like an equal system." Was the robot's neutral response. And so the brothers were Judges that were not associated with the City, and yet their reach was supposed to include everything under their law. Sounded like a couple of vigilantes. "I see."

    Marvin had to admit however, he did not expect to receive a pat on the head. The robot's head tilted to the side, but he did not move away from the motion, nor did he lean into it. He merely allowed it to happen. "I haven't seen such darkness myself, but I know it is still out there." He was made to protect Kev, after all, and the alien would only need to be protected if dark deeds were possible, out there somewhere beyond the cottage. Of the things Marvin may experience beyond the cottage, it was definitely people that he would need to worry about most. Animals could be vicious sometimes, even crafty, but they were ruled by instinct. Animals primarily attacked for food, and Marvin was hardly a source of nutrition for animals. And it seems in the laws of Judge Mortis and Fear, animals could not commit criminal acts due to it. Interesting. "A bit of force should keep any predators at bay. Only enough to stun."

    Inside the barn, the sheep regarded the stranger curiously. The sheep were...a bit dimmer than the animals in the house. Glen of course was rowdiest, making quite a noise, only to be rebuffed. The robot only scratched underneath Chester's chin innocently. "Quite a word as well, is it not?" Was his response to the hiss. Mortis' attention was instead grabbed by one of the blue wooled sheep. As dim as they were, when Mortis approached the ewe was at first cautious of being touched. Though when the sharp talons only provided a comforting scratch rather than pain and spilled blood, the ewe leaned into the touch and made a soft baa-ing noise. The robot nodded his head gently when Mortis noted that the sheep were well-cared for, though he looked to Mortis at the question. "He does not. In the summer he shaves the wool off, and it grows back in the same color as you see now. They were born this way. I think I recall him saying they were a gift from someone?" The alien had been strangely evasive about who in particular the sheep had come from.


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    "I'm Kev, and I speak through the power of telepathy. It is represented by italics and the color code #33CC66."

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    Re: What Are Friends For?

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