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    Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

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    Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Dr. Drakken on Fri Jan 31, 2014 9:50 pm

    Time: 21:11
    Date: January 31st, 0005?

    Did the ISOs arrest people for drinking in public? Drakken decided he didn't really care as he slumped down onto one of the snow-covered park benches. He didn't really seem clad for the cold weather, wearing his usual lab coat and matching pants rather than a thick jacket or heavy coat. In one hand he was clutching a brown paper bag. You'd think he would've learned after spending most of the day nursing the hangover from last night's overindulgence of alcohol, but no. As he opened the bag the contents where revealed to be another bottle of booze. Vodka this time. Unscrewing the cap he brought the bagged bottle up to his mouth, taking a healthy swig from it. "At least I have you, Mr. Smirnoff." he spoke with a dreary sigh, a depressed frown spreading across his face.

    And so the mad scientist sat there in the park, cold and miserable while nursing his bottle. He'd drink from it every so often, but mostly he just sat there, staring at it. It had probably been a long time coming, but... It hadn't really hit home until he was struck by Livewire's fairly innocent comment. He wasn't angry with her, of course. He just felt... well... unwanted. For the first time in his life he actually felt undesired, shunned almost. He was the soft, soggy piece of doggy doodoo stuck to the bottom of the shoe called love.
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Invader Zim on Sun Feb 23, 2014 2:40 pm

    Feeling unwanted? Feeling like fresh fecal matter smeared on the bottom of someone's shoe, unable to be scrubbed because you've slipped into the grooves and not even a finely sharpened pencil can dig out every piece of poo? You know what you needed, Dr. Drakken? You needed a soft, empathetic shoulder to drunkenly mumble on, perhaps a nice slim, feminine shoulder. Dark hair to go with it and pouty lips.

    Too bad the only person around was a very short Irken invader. Walking through the park, Invader Zim didn't have much to do. Getting their hair cut wasn't exactly top priority in the winter time, though that meant when spring came around, he'd be busy! Until then, he mostly just kept to himself. Zim wasn't much of a people person since people were dumb and stupid. How could he have any intelligent conversations when everybody was stupid? Still, as he passed by the park he got a glimpse of some blue on a bench. "EH?" Blue? He came closer, though it wasn't the tumorheaded man he'd seen in the past.

    "YOU. Sad blue hobo! What is your name?!" This hobo looked familiar, very familiar, but he couldn't remember his name. After waiting about a second for a response he quickly waved his hands at him. "NEVERMIND, I will call you the blue hobo. BLUE HOBO! I AM INVADER ZIM. AND I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY YOU ARE HERE INSTEAD OF A STREET ALLEY." He'd seen tons of hobos with those little bagged bottles hanging in an alley, and sometimes the park, but he'd never seen them here this late unless they were sleeping on a bench.
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Dr. Drakken on Sun Feb 23, 2014 7:39 pm

    Hobo? Hobo?! HOBO?! What, a man couldn't get drunk in public in peace now without being referred to as some down-on-his-luck drifter? Drakken scowled over at the... cricket? How much had he had to drink anyway? He didn't even remember, really. Anyhoo, there was a giant, talking cricket and--Oh, wait. No, it as just that one alien thing. It'd been a while since the last time he saw him, and being more than a little inebriated the mad scientist had trouble remembering his name. It had an I in there somewhere though, right? Or was that an O? Yeah. Yeah! That was his name. Ron.

    "What-what are you doing here, RON!" the liquored up villain half-mumbled, clumsily pointing at Zim with the hand he was holding the bottle in. "Don't you reco-go-nize me? It is... I! Dr. Drunken--No--Drakken! Not some common wino. I am an exceptional wino!"

    Yeah, that should set that little piece of dried nasal mucus straight!

    "And I'm here because I'm sad and drunk, and mis-mmhh-miserable and sad. I want to mope around and stew in my loneliness."
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Invader Zim on Tue Feb 25, 2014 8:53 pm

    The hobo scowled down at him, Zim merely crossing his arms in response, antennae flat against his head. No need to get angry, Mr. Hobo! What, an alien can't be curious about a new hobo? Not that he'd memorized these hobos or anything but he had a good memory and this man didn't use to be a hobo! His antennae stuck straight up in the air once the drunk hobo spoke.

    "RON?!" He practically spat, aghast. How did he get Ron out of Zim?! There was no 'R', 'O', or 'N'! "YOOOOU need a lesson in your own LANGUAGE, hobo! And ZIM is here to bother HOBOS, one of which you are!" What could he say? Sometimes he got bored. Apparently Dr. Drunken thought he was someone he knew, or at least someone who was close enough to him to remember his name. So it was Dr. Drakken then? Eh, he liked hobo better.

    "You don't look EXCEPTIONAL to me. Except for the odd skin, scar, and thick caterpillar fur tuft, you look like EVERY SINGLE OTHER HYUUUUMAN!" And he smelled like every other hobo~! So he was here because he was sad, drunk, miserable, and lonely. "You're definitely in the right spot then, HOBO." He cackled at his misery, CACKLED! He even pointed and began to cackle harder.

    "AHAHAHAAA! YOU ARE UNHAPPY AND IT AMUSES ME!"
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Dr. Drakken on Mon Mar 31, 2014 7:19 pm

    Dr. Drakken chugged down another mouthful of booze before getting up from the park bench, like the kraken rising from the deep in 'Clash of The Titans', only completely poop-faced. He sauntered closer to the small alien, each step a drunken shamble. "I know how to speak linguist, Ro-Ro-Ah-Zim!" he muttered in another drunken slur. "And I... have a home!" And it as an awesome home too! "It's just underground, so you can't see it, okay?"

    Getting close enough he suddenly took a swing at the Irken with the vodka bottle, but seeing as his hand-eye coordination was less than stellar at the moment he just ended up swiping his arm through thin air, spinning around completely until he was facing the tiny invader again. "Silence, you cacopherous misanthrope!" Was that even a word? Well it was now. See, only an exceptional drunk could make up words off the top of their heads! "Your voice is like a dolphin mating with a non-consenting cat."
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Invader Zim on Mon Mar 31, 2014 8:54 pm

    The hobo rose from the bench after another gulp of booze, rising much like a cobra, if a cobra were totally smashed. Swaying like a cobra, he stepped closer to Zim. In response, Zim ejected his PAK legs rose himself up, moving higher with each step until the two were eye to eye. "You cannot SPEAK linguist! And MY NAME IS NOT RO-RO-AH-ZIM." Frustrated, Zim held out his gloved hands. "SOUND IT OUT WITH ME, DR. HOBO. ZZZ. IH. MMM." His hands bounced around, as if they were a dot above a word in a sing along. "If you have a HOME, then why are you not IN IT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE HOBO PARK?" The claim that his home was underground might sound absurd to most, but Zim's own base was underground.

    A bottle suddenly flew through the air in front of Zim, the hobo spun around in place, stumbling, before he faced Zim once again. He scowled deeply and folded his arms. "Did you just attempt to hit me?!" He scoffed. "I am not some dainty human mate you can smack around, HOBO! If you try that again, YOU WILL BE DEAD.." You only get one warning, Doc! An antennae soon perked up. "...Cacopherous?" That had him completely dumbfounded. Was that...a word? He let out another cackle at Dr. Drakken's description for his voice. "HA! My voice is like HONEY pouring onto SILK! Meanwhile, you sound like a DROWNING WHALE, with your slurring! You're DROWNING IN THE BOOZE!" Dolphin mating with a non-consenting cat...ha!
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Dr. Drakken on Tue Apr 29, 2014 7:47 pm

    Drakken raised his drunken brow at the tiny hairstylist alien. Why would he have changed his name? "Hobo Zzz-Ih-Mmm?" the villain responded, his eyelids falling shut every now and then. "What's that, some kind of title where you're from?"

    He also felt the need to correct the Irken, having never hit a woman in his life. Heck the only female he'd ever attempted to hit was his arch foe once, and she knew sixteen different forms of kung fu! "I'm not some mate-smacker, Zzz-Ih-Mmm!" he spat in inebriated disgust before taking another swig of vodka from his now close-to-empty bottle. "I'm the romantastic type, but I doubt you even know what that meanssss."

    Placing the still-bagged bottle down on the ground he took a step closer to stand akimbo and look the former invader in the eye. "My voice is fine, you dope. I don't sound like some mentally desolate elk trying to scratch an itch by ramming his body against a cactus full of barbed needles. Unlike a certain someone else that's not me, but you." Dr. Drakken, the king of comebacks, strikes again!

    "As for your question, I've already told you! I'm here to be drunk and sad and lonely and... stuff!"
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Invader Zim on Tue Apr 29, 2014 11:15 pm

    Dr. Hobo wrote:"Hobo Zzz-Ih-Mmm?"

    "..." Zim brought his hand up and slapped his own forehead in frustration, growling as he dragged the hand down his face. "I AM NOT A HOBO! YOU ARE THE HOBO! DR. HOBO! MY TITLE IS INVADER, WHICH IS LIGHTYEARS BETTER THAN A DOCTOR OR A HOBO! OR A DOCTOR HOBO!" Obviously this one was too drunk to function. He shook his head in distaste, antennae flatter than Dr. Drakken's unibrow.

    "Do not lie to ZIM. ZIM KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS IN THE ROOMS OF HYUUUUMANS. Mates get smacked, children get kicked, and eventually someone dies! Its the circle of LIFE." Ro...romantastic? "QUIT MAKING UP WORDS, WORM!" He pointed an accusing finger right at and on Dr. Drakken's nose. "IF YOU WERE REALLY ROMANTASTIC YOU WOULDN'T BE LONELY!" The hobo soon placed his bottle down and seemed content to keep eye contact. Was this a stare-down?

    ...Yeesh, this hobo sure had colorful words. "ZIM SOUNDS LIKE NONE OF THAT! IF ANYONE IS AN ELK WITH THE DUMBS WHO'S USING THE POINTY EARTH PLANT TO SCRATCH HIMSELF, IT IS YOU! YOOOOOOOU!" He screeched loudly. "MY VOICE MAKES THE BABIES SLEEP. IT IS SOOTHING. Your voice is IRRITATING. Like a sad whiny PERSON." So, let him get this straight; this man, with a home, came to the area where hobos congregated...to be sad and drunk and lonely. "You are PATHETIC." He suddenly grinned and poked Dr. Drakken's nose, letting out a loud cackle.

    "AHAHAHAAA~! PATHETIC! THAT'S YOOOU!" In case Dr. Drakken might not have heard him the first time or something...
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Dr. Drakken on Thu Jun 05, 2014 11:29 pm

    The sloshed villain stared at the irken with a somewhat confused frown while rubbing his nose. How was he still a hobo when he had a home? You really need to listen when other's speak, Zim. "You know--You know Drakken and hobo don't even sound all that similar... you know," he huffed, once more pointing an accusing finger at the alien.

    Stumbling over to the trashcan which was standing about a foot away from the bench he'd been sitting on he leaned on it while dropping the bottle inside. There was still a mouthful of vodka left, but he didn't really feel like drinking any more. While he was quite inebriated at the moment, he was still aware that alcohol poisoning probably wasn't a thing he wanted to experience.

    "Hah!" he exclaimed before repeating himself a few more times. "Hah! Hah! Hah! 'Makes the babies sleep'... Why don't you make a baby sleep right now?" Oh yeah, he went there. "And you're the pathetical one, coming out to make fun of homeless people to make yourself fell better... about yourself."
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Invader Zim on Fri Jun 13, 2014 5:07 pm

    "Don't tell ME what I do or DO NOT KNOW. I know hobo and Drakken aren't SIMILAR. BUT HOBO IS THE TITLE I HAVE GIVEN YOU. It has nothing to do with SOUND." His arms folded over his chest tightly, watching with a scrutinizing gaze as the Doctor Hobo stumbled his way over to the trashcan. Was he going to make that trashcan his vacation home? Or use it as a bathroom? He grinned slightly as he watched, hoping for him to do something embarrassing and silly that Zim could have the almighty BLACKMAIL for!

    ...Only for him to use it for its exact purpose, by chucking the mostly empty bottle inside of it. "Hmph." Maybe he'd gotten too used to how stupid the hyumans on his Earth could be. Dr. Hobo wasn't nearly as smart as Zim but he was much smarter than the humans of the dirt planet back in his universe. "You want me to make a baby sleep now? Easy! EASY! Get on that bench and I'll make YOU SLEEP! AHAHAHAAA! GET IT?! BECAUSE YOU ARE AN INFANT! EHEHEHEEE!" Again he chuckled and laughed to himself, getting a real good kick at how bad and scathing his insults were. Aah, he hadn't laughed this hard in a while!

    Dr. Hobokin wrote:"And you're the pathetical one, coming out to make fun of homeless people to make yourself fell better... about yourself."

    "HAHAHAAA! EHEHE...hehehee...wait...eh?" His laughter died down and he instead tilted his head at the inebriated scientist. "ZIM does not make fun of the homeless to make himself feel better about himself! I am ZIM. I feel better just by being ME! Laughing at your stupid misfortune is just a PLUS!"  Why would Zim need to feel better? Sure, he was the last of the Irken Armada, and he hadn't seen the Tallest in almost 5 years and there was no Dib for him to fight here and GIR had even disappeared too, like an idiot...but he didn't need to feel better about squat! He had a business! And a base! And membership to a League of Villains! He wasn't the drunk hobo! "There's no other USE for the homeless anyway! They are like punching bags of COMEDY. SOMETIMES LITERALLY!"
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Dr. Drakken on Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:08 pm

    The inebriated mad scientist quirked his brow at the Irken, giving him a very skeptical look. Please, the only way his voice could possibly make babies go to sleep was by sending them into a psychological trauma-induced coma. "Ve-heh-ry well," he slurred, shambling his way back over to the bench and unsteadily easing his tush back down onto it. He turned to the little alien once more, a confident smirk on his lips. "Go on then. Try put--putting me to sleep with just your voice, and I'll--uhm... If I fall asleep I'll... sleep. If I don't then you're the elephant. Yeah!"

    Oh yes, drunk challenge. Everything else Zim had said was ignored simply for this. Also it was kind of hard to pay attention after emptying an entire bottle of vodka into your gut, even if had been done over the course of several hours. Anyway, would the Irken bring it on like Donkey Kong? That's what Drakken wanted to know now.
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Invader Zim on Tue Dec 09, 2014 2:36 am

    Mr. Hobo Man wrote:"Ve-heh-ry well,"

    Huh.

    Dr. Bum Rush wrote:"Go on then."

    What.

    Beggar wrote:"Try put--putting me to sleep with just your voice, and I'll--uhm... If I fall asleep I'll... sleep. If I don't then you're the elephant. Yeah!"

    Oh. Oh, this was unexpected. The alien clenched his jaw, eyes wide and staring as the blue human plopped himself down onto the bench and waited for Zim to rise up to the challenge. When he'd offered to put Dr. Drakken to sleep with his voice, he definitely wasn't being serious! He was just calling Dr. Drakken an infant! The Invader was just posturing! What kind of challenge even was that? And for the love of Irk, why would him losing this challenge make him an elephant?

    "You are on, pathetic dumpster diver! And when you are the one to be lulled to sleep, it will be YOU who is the elephant!" The human definitely had skin more befitting an elephant's. Zim's own smooth, green skin was nothing like an elephant's! Now...how to make this idiot go to bed. The smeets of Earth were typically sung to sleep, from what he remembered. Of course, the smeets in the town he lived in were also aliens taking advantage of the stupidity of humans, but that was besides the point. Dr. Drakken was also preeeetty hammered by this point. Perhaps if Zim sang a song, and sang it long enough, the blue human would eventually pass out on his own. Technical win for Zim!

    Smirking, the alien puffed his chest out and stood to his tallest height. Time to use the glorious voice of Zim in the form of song. "THE MIGHT OF ZIM IS NOT A WHIM.~ BOW DOWN TO ME OR YOU WILL SEE!~ SLEEP NOW, FALL INTO A COMA.~ OR I WILL GIVE YOU A STOMA!" Sleep, Drakken. Feel the lullaby of Zim's vocal cords and be lulled into heavenly sleep.
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Dr. Drakken on Sat Jan 31, 2015 8:43 pm

    'Dumpster diver', eh? Now Drakken was even more determined to come out on top. With the ball being in Zim's court at the moment all the mad scientist could do was get comfortable, which wasn't all that easy considering he was currently seated on a wooden park bench. Some pillows would have been nice. Still, he shifted a little and leaned back, preparing himself for a cacophony of a musical interlude. Perhaps the Irken would put him to sleep with a lullaby, but he severely doubted  it.

    With good reason too, as when Zim started singing his voice was, uh, less than soothing. It left a lot to be desired, even to a couple of drunk blue ears. Drakken made a pained face, gritting his teeth as a sound, which could only be described as what it would be like if a Tasmanian devil tried playing the vuvuzela, filled the air. No, it did not put the not so good doctor to sleep, though something suddenly seemed to have an effect.

    "Ughhh... I don't feel so g-good all of a sh-sudden..." he groaned, clutching his stomach. He arose from the bench once more, just as unsteadily as the last time, stumbling a little again as he ran towards the trashcan. Lady luck was not on his or side, though, as he didn't make it there in time before a torrent of puke shot out of his mouth, like water out of a fire hose. It was bad, but at least he wasn't Zim, who was now caught in the line of fire.
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Invader Zim on Sat Feb 21, 2015 2:47 am

    The words that sprang from Zim's lips were like spring water over rocks. Obviously, his singing was not just amazing, but completely beautiful and capable of putting Dr. Drakken to sleep! At least, that was what Zim figured. The opposite was the truth, but it didn't keep Zim from eyeing Dr. Drakken intently as he sang, documenting every twitch and turn the man's face made. ...Oddly enough, the blue human looked like he was in pain. Zim had seen enough people in pain to know what it looked like, and it was written all over his face. Zim's lips curled into a sneer, singing now over. "You FOOL. My singing isn't THAT BAD!" Dr. Dumpster Diver was probably just being over-dramatic so that he would win and make Zim an elephant! The Doctor began to do more then make a face, grasping at his stomach and whimpering that he didn't feel good. Zim leaned forward with interest, even smiling a bit. Was he in real pain?

    "Maybe your liver is rejecting you!" The dangers of alcohol, Drakken. The pitiful human stumbled around for a moment, and something suddenly leapt out of his mouth and onto Zim's clothes. The Irken locked up, eyes wide as the warm, chewed mass of food and alcohol dripped down the front of his uniform, plopping nastily to the cement. As he began to take in what had happened, the Irken's insectoid eye twitched. His antennae twitched around as well, before flattening themselves across the top of his skull. "Yoooooooooooooooooou IDIOOOOOOOOOT!" The alien retreated from the Doctor and screeched as loud as he could, arms flailing for a moment before he dug into his PAK. He withdrew a blue spray bottle and a white cloth, spraying in Dr. Drakken's direction with a squint before he began to spray and wipe himsel down.

    "Pitiful...dumb...sang for him AND EVERYTHING...AND THIS IS HOW HE REWARDS ME...gonna rip his liver out for my OWN purposes! Dumb homeless elephant!" Once he was quite satisfied, he tossed both the rag, no longer white, and the empty spray bottle right at Drakken's chest. "APOLOGIZE OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES! The dire, awful consequences OF MY DOOM."
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    Re: Touched down in the land of the Drakken blues

    Post by Dr. Drakken on Sat Feb 28, 2015 3:37 pm

    The villain didn't really listen to Zim's threats of extra doom-y doom, his mind preoccupied with other things all of a sudden. Like where to unload the next barrage of spew that was about to erupt from his mouth, like lava rocks and superheated ash from Mount Vesuvius. Falling to his knees Drakken was quick to crawl over to the closest bush, just managing to stick his head into it as his pie hole exploded like a scene from a movie about demon possession. It was as if someone had turned on some kind of gruesome, disgusting faucet as the contents of his stomach shot out of his mouth like so much water out of a Drakken-shaped squirt gun. "Blluuurgrghrghrgrrrghhhhh!" If Zim watched extra closely he would probably notice some of it was shooting out of his nostrils as well, not to mention a couple of salty tears running down his cheeks from his eyes stinging a bit.

    "Mmmmuhh--I think I should go home..." the mad scientist groaned, shakily getting up on his feet before dragging the back of a gloved hand across the front of his face, cleaning it up a little even if it did leave a good portion of the vomit hanging from his right cheek. "Good night, strange lit-little... Little lil-phant," he slurred before shambling off out into the darkness of the night to find his shower and bed.

      Current date/time is Fri Jul 28, 2017 12:44 am