Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

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    Zurg
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 15, 2013 11:16 pm

    So they had been talking about him prior... Or, well, heard a little of Zurg's nefarious reputation. The alien wasn't very thrilled at having a live laser go off within the shop, but he was ultimately powerless in reversing time and telling the automobile no. "Mm, you two are something else," he casually remarked, glancing from both driver and vehicle. Something else, indeed. There was some explaining to do and the monarch replied, "I wouldn't have actually shredded your driver's helmet to ribbons. It would have been therapeutic, surely, but I prefer sleeping in a bed than I do a cold prison cell." ISOs wouldn't have taken too kindly to that, he reckoned. Now, as for that ventriloquist act? Zurg grunted, "Not bad, not bad. Should have figured that one out. After all, I doubt your charming driver, here, could fix that awful hissing problem. He should get it checked."

    Oho, the driver's name was Judge Fear? What a ridiculous name! "No, you two will not be swapping places. You're free to go, Smiles." And what's better to show one's freedom than a delightful - SMACK! - on the hindquarters? A little humility never did one harm, now, did it? Zurg walked away from the so-called judge and addressed them both from a comfortable distance, arms crossed.

    "I'd rather not stay all night, as well. Kindly count the credits, put the agreed upon total on that workbench over there, and I'll hound you no more." The monarch didn't know about this married couple, but he had a certain lady he wanted to be in bed with by the top of the hour.

    To cuddle with, you understand.


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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Fear on Fri Nov 15, 2013 11:45 pm

    Zzzap! Chink!

    Free! The Dark Judge was free but at what cost? Judge Fear wasted no time in removing himself off that aggravating slab, the fiend's bony fingers curling. "...ssssSSS! K.A.R.R., what have you done!?" The cost had come at the expense of the Dark Judge's uniform, both of the cumbersome mantraps situated upon his shoulders beginning to droop. It would appear that the particular link K.A.R.R.'s laser had shattered was the crucial tether in keeping the Dark Judge's gleaming pauldrons together. The two mantraps fell with a jarring clatter, leaving Judge Fear to stand without feeling complete. He was quite angry, as expected... "You hear that, K.A.R.R.?" he rasped, naturally on the brink of really letting that dimwitted automaton have it. "The sinner wasn't going to finish the job, how quaint! You owe me a new pair of chains." And the quality kind, too. None of that cheap costume junk!

    "My hissing has nothing to do with my condition," the Dark Judge growled in turn, gaze still fixated on the vehicle. If he ever came into possession of a vat of acid, the fiend was going to - SMACK! Did that sinner just...!? "How DARE you! I am a Judge of the law and you will show me the utmost respect!" And again and again with that outrageous nickname! "Just because I smell like a corpse does not mean I am into necrophilia." Death had been the one to perform questionable acts with victims, not him! "Besides, you are not my type, sinner. You smell like..." The Dark Judge had a deep inhale for dramatic effect. "...life."

    Uppity Piece of Scrap wrote:"Judge Fear, if another insult or mockery escapes your helm this evening I will make you my personal parking space. Pick up those credits."
    Oh look, K.A.R.R. was getting a bit large for its undercarriage.

    Although he said not a word, the Dark Judge pointed a stern finger at the vehicle and went straight to task. It wasn't so hard counting to two-thousand-and-one; these credits came in such large denominations and Judge Fear wasn't as obtuse as he looked. He had the perfect amount in record time, placing several individual stacks of credits into a neatly-assorted array. They were, interestingly, organized by units from lowest to highest. "Your funds," he hissed to Zurg, stepping away. The rest of the currency the Dark Judge quickly pocketed and kept hidden, lost into the many intricacies of his outlandish utility belt. Now that that excruciating detail was finished, Judge Fear hefted up his fallen mantraps and urged K.A.R.R. to open up with a clawed foot. He lightly pressed his toenails into the vehicle's finish, delighted should an unfortunate blemish appear.

    "We have paid the sinner and you are repaired. Let us be off and dabble with the living no more," he insisted. These mantraps also weren't growing lighter by the second and this vessel wasn't exactly a body builder...
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by K.A.R.R. on Sat Nov 16, 2013 1:10 am

    So the man was not about to mechanically separate his driver? This newest detail was quite perplexing, as the AI could not make heads or tails out of the vitals he had picked up while Zurg had gone through his outburst, unsure whether the man was telling the truth or lying thanks to his alien nature. Though the Dark Judge, true to what the Trans-Am had suspected, began complaining and hissing over the shattered chain. "Either way you would have met with the same fate, your chains were tightly tangled in that machinery, and I doubt our technician here would take apart an industrial band saw simply to keep your uniform intact." Came the AI's collected, if not uncaring reply. Chains could be easily found, easily pilfered and replaced. "Very well, after this I shall help you find some new chains."

    His attention turned back to Zurg, wary of the alien now that he learned of a few interesting quirks. Surprisingly, there were no threats to strip and leave the AI on cinder blocks, no possibility of deactivation. Instead the man seemed very mildly amused, it would have been far better if he had fully fallen for the AI's voice projection, however. With a swat on the butt Judge fear was free to go and collect the pile of chips, a gnarled finger pointed in the AI's direction when further commanded. KARR said nothing to the man, but if he could, the AI would have been grinning from wheel-well, to wheel-well. Once the agreed upon amount was given and stacked rather neatly, the rest stored away, KARR observed as the Judge walked around to his door. "Thank you for your services, Zurg. it is a pity we could not have finished this on a less sour note--"

    Whud!

    The dull thud of a foot on the black and silver paneling was as far as the Judge would be allowed this evening. Luckily, since the ghoul said nothing he would not be turned into a speed bump, for now. Instead KARR had something else in mind. A sharp hiss of hydraulics was the only warning the Judge would get as the car's door swung violently open like a great palm to slap across his grinning helm.

    WHAP!

    "Oh dear, the door mechanism is a touchy thing, isn't it?" KARR sarcastically remarked, a smirk evident in his tone.
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Zurg on Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:23 am

    These two really bickered like a married couple. "I'm sure they can offer counseling for you," Zurg piped up, leaning against an offline machine. Oh if only he had a bag of popcorn shrimp to go with this free show. Wardrobe malfunctions were just the pits, weren't they? "You know, I do recall there being a therapist stationed at the local hospital... I heavily suggest you schedule an appointment and work out those awful, awful kinks." But please, go ahead and ignore him. You both were such a shining example of what all partners strove for~! "Oh, I dare, alright. I dare quite a bit, you see. Judge or not, you've got some very steely buns for a toothpick," he shamelessly remarked. "But I understand. Not very many can handle all of this, either." This being himself, of course. Ah, enough provoking the unfriendly man's temper. Zurg wanted to go home and he gave a cursory glance at the credit stacks, idly tallying up a quick total in his head. Well, at least the foul-smelling driver could count.

    "I love it when things are arranged in some semblance of order; that'll do just fine, thank you," the monarch said. Back to K.A.R.R., Zurg dipped his head out of respect. "You are very welcome. Here at the Chop Shop we strive to bring you excellent service. It is indeed a pity that we did not - ?"

    WHAP!

    Well, that was a slightly better sour note, don't you think? Zurg watched the driver get smacked right back onto his bum, the monarch allowing a lopsided smirk beneath his veil. "Ah yes! I forgot to mention," he began casually. "The doors are a bit iffy and I do suggest that you be gentle with them. If you are not, well... You've obviously seen why you should be. I'm certain that glaring bruise you'll receive in the morning with be more painful than it actually looks." What's that they said about karma, hmm? "Farewell, you two. And do come back should you need anything else. It was a pleasure, naturally." When both vehicle and driver were out of the shop's bay and long down the street, then Zurg will close up everything and begin the lonely walk home. Not now, however. He wanted to make sure these two didn't get into further trouble, first.


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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Fear on Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:51 am

    At hearing K.A.R.R.'s agreement in helping the Dark Judge find a new pair of chains, Judge Fear dropped the issue and thought of it no more. He will most certainly be holding the vehicle to task after leaving this shop, however. "Pardon...?" the fiend hissed, not sure he was fully understanding the purple sinner's insinuations. Did the employee think that K.A.R.R. and he were...? "Sss... You are a very crass individual. The automobile and I are associates and nothing else, and I am beginning to find your lewd mannerisms tiresome." No doubt that was probably the sinner's exact agenda, which made it all the more reason why Judge Fear wanted to be rid of this awful place. This will be difficult, as K.A.R.R. itself, was not contributing anything positive in the exchange. Before the fiend could even step aside or evade, the Dark Judge was completely struck by surprise.

    WHAP!

    In a noisy clatter of aged bones and heavy chains, Judge Fear unceremoniously fell back upon his hindquarters with a sickening crunch! He first landed on his spine, thin legs sticking high into the air, before they too gave into gravity. The fiend came to a full rest and he balefully stared upward at the shop's high ceiling. "..." Somehow the Dark Judge severely doubted it was just a harmless malfunction.

    Judge Fear soon sat upright, gangly hands still clutching his unbearably-heavy mantraps, and he gazed over at K.A.R.R's accomplice in the scheme. "The vehicle and I are soon to be estranged," he flatly remarked. You just wait, sinner... Oh, you just wait. Rising to his towering height and more shakier than usual, the Dark Judge approached K.A.R.R. warily this time and placed his possessions within. "You have your repairs and you have your funds," the ghoul hissed, repeating what he had stated from earlier. "Let us be off, K.A.R.R. There is work to be done, justice to dispense... Staying in this garage will accomplish nothing." And the longer Judge Fear had to interact with sinners and not purge them, the longer the fiend felt an unnatural sickness take hold over him. It was not a sensation the undead man fancied.

    He took his rightful place at the driver's side, gazing straight ahead and seemingly not all there. Wonder why?
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by K.A.R.R. on Sun Nov 17, 2013 6:30 am

    "We are not married." KARR corrected, finding the technician's statements rather puzzling. "Judge fear and I are merely mutual in our relationship, I assist him and he assists me." Nothing more and nothing less. The little display from earlier was simply an... Example of social ranking, yes. That loud smack across the Dark Judge's skinny form should have been enough to send the message home, however. For all that pride, he was still a bag of bones until he grew strong enough to prove otherwise. Once the undead man rose to his feet however, the AI ceased in his more impish inclinations, the door remaining open and still.

    Though the ghoul could be deathly sure that the AI saved that video footage for later. For what, it could be anything that he desired of course, perhaps even a bit of blackmail should he require it or just a clip to look over for amusement on a rainy day. That wary approach was especially satisfying to watch.

    Once Judge fear was situated in his seat, KARR closed the door behind him with a click. "Affirmative." The amber vox blinked in response to his commands, emotionless as he shifted the Trans-Am in reverse and pulled out of the shop. His head lamps flipped up to better blend in with the rest of traffic as he turned onto the road, silently noting the ghoul's somber stare that was occasionally illuminated by the lights of passing vehicles and buildings. "..."

    A few electronic chirps later and an equally synthetic tune drifted from the speakers accompanied by a rasping chant, the volume turned low.

    look your life

    it makes no sense

    try to make it better

    don't let your aggression

    take control

    be strong

    resist...

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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

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