Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by K.A.R.R. on Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:05 pm

    AI's were not the kind to forget easily, whether it be for the better or for worse. Fighting, exploring, or even doing nothing. Though that seemed to be the minority of people on the planet who decided go about it in that manner. Wait a moment, fighting... The hobos in the desert. Both he and Judge Fear had been reclaiming their strength without even realizing it. Maybe they could continue to prey on the homeless in order to get ahead, no one seemed to miss them and they were left uninterrupted while doing so. "I see." He noted thoughtfully. Perhaps he and the Dark Judge could perform both a mixture in experimentation to see how much power they reclaim.As for choosing their battles wisely, KARR could only figure the technician meant to be wary of those who had gone through more progression than they had.

    Regarding the demon it seemed that he would be more interested in larger spaces than anything cramped and small like the building they were in. Of course, the city was kicked right off the list of where the demon could possibly be comfortable venturing. Although it seemed so long as the creature was not bothered they were fine to go about their business without fear of being hunted down and eaten. A rather logical and easy to placate matter he figured. "Thank you. I shall keep that in mind as well." He replied evenly. Although there was one more thing that KARR was curious about. "On the way here, we heard of a Ridley." The AI began carefully. "From the way they were mentioned it seemed they were rather prominent on this planet. Though I did not gain the proper circumstance in learning how they got to be that way." Maybe he could learn a little more about the space dragon while he waited for Judge Fear to return with the payment.

    ...Speaking of which, where had he disappeared off to for so long? It had been a whole day and the ghoul did not lurk back around for a single moment.
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Zurg on Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:24 pm

    "Ridley...?" Well, that was certainly a name the alien wasn't expecting to hear so suddenly. Zurg shook that horned head of his, jewelry chiming, and corrected the AI's previous statement. "He's not a very prominent figure. If anything, he had his moment of glory and blew it," he remarked. It would seem that further elaboration was needed, as K.A.R.R. was a newcomer and had missed that awful Phazon fiasco. "A while back, way before you even arrived, there was a mishap with an organization and Ridley's forces," the monarch began to explain. "The organization itself is not important, but what is was the fact that Ridley and his Space Pirate goons managed to unload an incredible amount of toxic materials onto Portal Breach and poison nearly everything. It wasn't a very fun time, I'll admit." Quarantines, rations, hot dogs... Ugh, particularly the hot dogs.

    As with Prixlezub, the monarch expressed caution. "Ridley is fairly powerful, despite his coming and going. I'd say he's about as powerful as myself and Prixlezub, but I've done far more damage than any of them." That was not meant to be bragging, by the way. That was meant to inform car, subtly, that Zurg was not to be trifled with. The man had a rather cold gleam in his eyes from time to time... "Anyway, the space dragon met his demise - I was there for it - and Ridley's plans to take over the Gamma were thwarted. Your typical, average Saturday morning cartoon plot."

    The irony.

    "I doubt an honest AI such as yourself has any business with the space dragon, but if there is a chance you are curious..." Zurg had himself a faint chuckle and looked back upon K.A.R.R. with the most minute hint of satisfaction. He was up to something... "Well, who am I to deny you? Ridley lives on Planet Zebes, but a vehicle such as yourself won't be able to get there. It's fortified, hostile, and comes complete with acid rain. Not to mention it's also in space, so... unless you come back here for a pair of thrusters, you're not breaking the atmosphere any time soon." Although the challenge would certainly be welcome. "Now, anything else you'd like to know? I can't linger here all night, you understand."


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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by K.A.R.R. on Thu Nov 07, 2013 8:01 pm

    KARR listened attentively as the technician went on about the space dragon, soon finding himself surprised that he was not prominent but more looked down upon. An organization and a plan, the unloading of toxic materials... Only to be stopped by the other citizens of the gamma. He was apparently quite powerful, though whether or not the dragon had enough brains to know what he was doing had been called into question. Unfortunate for Ridley, but very fortunate for the rest of the citizens.

    As for Zurg, KARR noted the gleam in his eye as he spoke. Of course, this very man used to be the evil emperor, as the clues the hobo gave had pointed. With all the information the alien was giving him though, the AI could not help but feel this whole thing was a little too easy giving the man's noticeable intelligence. He could tell that the AI wanted the information for something other than simple trivia, and yet he was not calling it out... Why? "It seems Ridley is not too fond of visitors as he is of thorough planning." He played along, "However, I could not help but detect a trace of disappointment."

    Not too long after the man's story, it came time to note that he could not linger forever. Of course, no one could stay awake for so long after performing such labor. Regardless, there was one more thing the AI wished to express before he left. "Yes, I wish to know how much I am to pay you and the Mechanic for your services." He stated, sensors searching about his cockpit for some currency from earlier. He was sure that the ghoul had left some on the seat before he went in...
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Fear on Fri Nov 15, 2013 6:26 am

    What a positively industrious night this was turning out to be! First there was the session in the desert, which easily saw five thankful sinners successfully judged. And then there was the most wonderful encounter back at the bar; he didn't really remember its name, but that was hardly important. Should the alcohol be working its magic and if no meddlesome sinner called for help, that humble five should turn into a generous forty or more. A pity Miss Hallow wouldn't be joining the ranks, though. "She'll see it my way," remarked the Dark Judge. Eventually the woman will see sense in his words and come pleading for release. For now, however, he had a certain suck-up to retrieve. Which way was it to the Chop Shop, again...?

    It must have been hours since the ghoul had left K.A.R.R.'s immediate company, but Judge Fear hardly had a care. Why should he? Don't repairs of such magnitude usually require insufferable waiting periods? The vehicle wasn't going anywhere and the Dark Judge was not about to commit himself to something so... unnecessary. Oh no, he had far better things to do; like downing the rest of this bottle of scotch, for example.

    Alright, so he had taken a few souvenirs from the bar.

    Aimlessly tossing the emptied glass aside, Judge Fear crept his way through city streets and fought urge after urge to continue spreading his judgement. All in good time, he supposed. The fiend had never encountered an ISO, let alone knew what one looked like, and it was not wise to be sent right back into containment. As satisfying as it would be to watch K.A.R.R. rust away while forever waiting payment, it was not in Judge Fear's best interests. Perhaps some other time, yes. Ah, look! There was the familiar red hue of the very brick building he had been searching for. Not even bothering to look both ways before crossing the street, the Dark Judge made haste for the Chop Shop and stopped before its front door. It was, alas, inconveniently locked. No lights were on inside, as well. Had the technician gone home for the evening?

    Judge Fear rubbed a finger against his helm and glanced around. Good, not a soul in sight. Reaching for the door's handle, he gave it a good - rattle, rattle, rattle! - and deemed that it was, indeed, tighter than a coffin's lid. Whereas one may express dismay at this shortcoming, the Dark Judge was metaphorically all smiles. "Oh well, guess K.A.R.R. will have to spend the night. In the meanwhile, I shall find a nice park and see what sinners require my good will."

    Drokk! wrote:"Yes, I wish to know how much I am to pay you and the Mechanic for your services."
    Ugh, no! The wretched bucket of bolts was currently speaking with someone! No doubt the technician's employee...

    Loudly grunting, the Dark Judge banged the front of his helm against the front door's glass and mumbled. It had all been too easy... Well, he supposed it was time to reconvene with K.A.R.R. and see what work there was to be done. This didn't mean the fiend had to like it, though. Judge Fear quietly stalked around the building's corner and headed for where a nearby conversation resumed, his rotted hand outstretched.

    ...Creeeeeeak!

    "Good evening, sinner," the Dark Judge hissed, effortlessly pushing a door back. How unwise to keep a perfectly inviting door unlocked. After all, you never know what will just come walking in. Taking a few steps closer, Judge Fear could make out K.A.R.R.'s immobile form and noticed a taller man - one who reeked of life - standing close beside. This was the sinner he had detected seconds ago. "I have come to bring you payment for my associate's repairs," the ghoul continued.

    Curled talons reached into the flowing confines of the Dark Judge's cape, a boot filled with cuts of plastic soon retrieved. Not caring whether or not this particular container (it had sufficed at time) drew suspicion, Judge Fear brought it closer toward the technician's employee and gave it a light shake. The sound of credits rustling against one another should be pleasing to a seasoned businessman.

    "I assume this will be adequate enough in covering the charges?" inquired the fiend. If not, the Dark Judge could always go find another bar.
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by K.A.R.R. on Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:05 am

    Strange, he could have sworn that there were still credits on his front seat when they arrived at the shop. KARR scanned his interior over twice, dismay settling into his processor as he found that there indeed was no sign of a single credit. That ghoul... He must have taken them all with him! Quickly, he had to formulate a cover, something to keep from ending up as he drove in. Or worse, end up in a pile of scrap for resale since his owner did not return to pay the dues. Although, there was always the option of running...

    Inside the car's cabin the gearshift slowly aligned itself to reverse, the moments things turned sour- wait, what was that banging on the door outside? A scan across the shop and to the outside revealed a rather gangly patron testing the front door of the shop, his surveillance mode detecting that the person was quite rotten. Along with being quite rude, the AI heard that little quip about staying in the shop overnight... "Ah, I hear my driver now. He should be able to handle the payment." KARR quickly announced, tracking Judge fear as he wandered about to the back of the shop.

    As he drew nearer however, KARR detected something else on his person besides simple rot. in fact, he would need his olfactory sensors disconnected in order not to notice it. The Judge reeked of booze and cigarettes, did he spend the whole day at a bar while KARR was being serviced? Regardless, the heavy hand of spirits did not seem to dampen the ghoul's personality any, especially when addressing the technician and shaking a boot full of... Credits?! Well, he certainly was far more useful than any human under alcoholic influence, that was for sure.

    Though if Judge Fear had gotten the credits himself, undoubtedly the methods to gain them it lacked the AI's subtle touch. Hopefully the transaction would be done over quickly, enough so to get out of the city within the next half hour if possible... Maybe ten minutes given the questionable nature of that boot.
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:33 am

    "No, Ridley is not very personable," Zurg agreed. "His plans also leave much to be desired."

    But enough about that. The monarch planted the seeds in what he hoped to be a fruitful kick in the pants for the space dragon, which meant... it was time to talk shop! This was his favourite part in any business dealing. "Let's see..." Retrieving a handy-dandy pocket calculator out from his pants, Zurg got to crunching a few numbers. Well, maybe not a few... "Given that we completely tore apart your engine, replaced the crummy pieces, and reassembled it back together in the course of a single day, it'll be a pretty penny. Oh, and we mustn't forget the fuel," he added. Tack, tack, tack! Soon a number was finalized and the monarch had a fitting answer for his client. "Ah, here we are. Your total comes out to - "

    BANG!

    And just what in the dickens was that!?

    Startled, Zurg whipped his head around, veil and all, and directed his attention at the front's shop. "Who has the nerve to bang on the door at this hour!?" he demanded angrily. The alien set his calculator down and cracked his knuckles. "I'll be right back," he said with a low grunt. There was a ruffian out there and he will not stand for it. That wouldn't be necessary, however. No sooner had Zurg rolled up his sleeves and stormed off, someone - or should he say, something - let itself in through the back. A terrible smell, the most horrid, assaulted the monarch's senses and he nearly gagged. Was that... was that an unholy mixture of alcohol, tobacco, and rotting flesh!? Who in their right mind...!?

    ... wrote:"Good evening, sinner."
    Oh, now that was a little judgmental. Zurg didn't like name-calling from strangers.

    Momentarily stunned as he had absolutely no clue as to what he was seeing, Zurg stood motionlessly as... as whoever this thing was came to approach. "That's far enough," he growled, rested a hand upon his belt. The concealed blaster on his person was starting to itch. "Who are you and what do you want? This area is off limits, only for employees and clients." Turns out that this spook was a driver, though - K.A.R.R.'s driver, to be exact. "...Your driver," he slowly repeated, looking at the vehicle now. There was extra silence as Zurg glanced from both K.A.R.R. and its supposed driver, the monarch wondering just how in the galaxy that union came about. "I... see." Now that K.A.R.R. mentioned it, Jo did warn him about a tall fellow who smelled like death and had the most rotten personality... Seems he found that exact fellow. "Uh-huh, right. You owe a grand total of 1,095.87 credits for parts alone," Zurg spoke up, nailing this price directly to home. "After labour costs and various odds and ends, your total evens out to 2,100.00 credits. Given your driver's appearance, I'm going to demand that you both pay the price in one lump sum." Discrimination? No, more like insurance.

    When the unpleasant creature (Zurg won't go so far as to call it a man) went digging within the confines of his uniform, the monarch rested a hand back onto his belt and tensed. What was the creep looking for... Ah, a boot.

    A boot filled with money.

    "...You're joking," Zurg flatly remarked, quickly looking at K.A.R.R. before back at the armoured man. You know, that smile was familiar somehow... "This is your driver. This is your driver." Exasperated and feeling a tad hungry, the monarch's patience was starting to wear thin. "I don't know if this is some sort of sick joke, but your driver is presenting me credits in the form of a boot - someone's footwear! What do you two take me for, an idiot!?" About that lip service, Jo...


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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Fear on Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:52 am

    And just who did this purple sinner think he was, commanding a Judge of the law? "I tread where I please," Judge Fear hissed right back, his tone equally peeved. Evil Emperor or not, a sinner was a sinner. "That vehicle is with me and I am its driver. Where it goes, I, too, go. Will that become a problem - " the Dark Judge purposely then dragged out " - ssssssssinnnnnnnneeeeeeeer?" That felt incredibly good to say. And what was so difficult about believing that the ghoul was K.A.R.R.'s dutiful driver? "I see you must be the technician's slow employee," he mockingly retorted. "Is there someone else we may conduct business with? I find your lack of obedience..." Another pause, Judge Fear's transfixed smile verbally expanding. "...sssssiiiiinnnnfuuuuuuul." More displeasure ensued when the employee continued to remain downright bothersome.

    "Yes, I am the vehicle's driver. Yes, this is a perfectly fine boot," the Dark Judge hissed. Honestly, these should be concepts established back in the third grade. Obviously not one to beat around the bush, the Dark Judge made his way for a vacant workbench and proceeded to dump the boot's contents without restraint.

    A plethora of credits came spilling out; so many of them, in fact, that a few handfuls clattered onto the ground noisily. There was easily over a hundred unique pieces...

    SLAM! The fiend roughly crashed the boot upon the workbench and glanced over at the employee expectantly. "There," stated Judge Fear. "The money you so desire is now out of the offensive footwear and free to be collected at your leisure. I'm afraid I never counted just how much there is in total, but I am sure you and your calculator can be put to good work. Shall I stand here and watch you, or do you require that my associate and I leave your immediate premises?" Well? Are you going to be an idiot or are you going to be an even bigger idiot? The Dark Judge was content to play this game either way.
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by K.A.R.R. on Fri Nov 15, 2013 5:38 pm

    The amount of indignation in the air was almost tangible the moment Judge Fear's words made their way to the alien's horns. KARR's optics focused on both the technician and the Dark Judge, knowing all too well what may happen if the ghoul got too big for his badge. Once addressed by the alien, KARR only affirmed Zurg's dreaded suspicions. "Yes, he is indeed my driver. Don't take his attitude personally, he's been feeling a little under the weather lately." The spirits he had been consuming were not doing much in terms of making the ghoul more personable either. Judge Fear would soon find he was not going to be ignored by the AI either. "Now, there is no reason to act antagonistic. The technician has done his job fully and to the very best of his ability. Everything I require so far has been replaced and given maintenance, a good number of my systems have been restored due to his hand and the Head Mechanic's. Is that truly something worth mocking someone over?" KARR stated evenly, watching as the ghoul went ahead and poured out a few hundred credit chips from the boot before slamming it on the table.

    Though when the technician had requested that the payment was to come from both the driver and the vehicle, he would find that there would be only one that held real currency. "I hold no currency on my person, my driver is the only one who is able to pay you." He calmly replied. Scanning over the chips the AI could count that there were plenty with varying amounts of worth, enough to carry the bill easily. "Yes, this should be able to cover the payment suitably."

    As for whether they should stay around and wait for the alien to count the chips or leave, the AI was fine with either. Though for both their sake maybe it would be best if they left immediately before the ghoul roused anyone's full temper. KARR opened his driver side door with a click and a hiss of hydraulics, inviting the ghoul into the cabin. "Come, rest your feet." The AI offered, keeping an optic on the technician.
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:40 pm

    Don't take his attitude personally, eh? Too late.

    Exit the calm and mild-mannered monarch and enter the incredibly sadistic and ill-tempered Evil Emperor. It was like a switch, really; a switch K.A.R.R.'s driver had managed to flick with ease. Imagine that! "Don't you call me a sinner, you bat-faced, tacky piece of pedian slug guano!" Hope you were carrying a thick penal code book, because nothing - I repeat, nothing - will quell Zurg's notorious temper now that you've officially coaxed it out from hiding. Calling him slow and making a mess with those credits was just the icing on this murderous cupcake. Purple hands outstretched, Zurg tore off his veil with eyes aglow and revealed the entirety of his face at last. See any resemblance? The alien suddenly lashed out, hooking his fingers around those rattling chains near the spook's thin neck, and roughly yanked.

    "C'mere!" Zurg loudly yelled, muscles bulging underneath his work uniform. Super-fiend or not, K.A.R.R.'s driver was nothing more than a bag of bones compared to the alien's well-built person. It just went without saying, then, that Zurg had no issue dragging the helmet-wearing MORON around as if he were, well, a bag of bones! "Oh no, you two aren't going anywhere!" laughed the alien, rudely shoving K.A.R.R.'s driver against some nameless contraption. It had an awful lot of sharp, spiky bits...

    Make a joke about him, will you?

    Make a tasteless remark about him, will you?

    Think you could just walk all over HIM, will you!?

    WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR! One most traumatic saw noise of all childhood later, the unlucky sap stupid enough to invoke Zurg's wrath was now face-first on the receiving end of an industrial band saw! Terrifying, right? The spook's chains were wound up within the machine's various parts, and the more he struggled the closer he came toward that viciously-spinning metal band. "COMFY!?" Zurg asked, his dual-toned voice barely audible over the raucous blades. "WE'RE GOING TO PLAY A LITTLE GAME, SEE. IT'S CALLED, UNCLE ZURG, AND YOU, MY FINELY-DRESSED FRIEND, ARE THE STAR!" The rules were rather simple. First things first, however. The alien swept all of those lovely credits into a neat pile with a push broom and relocated the pile next to the creep's feet. Next, he rolled a nice chair on over and had himself a seat. "TIME FOR THE RULES OF THIS FUN GAME!" Zurg bellowed with a deranged laugh.

    "ONE: I CONTROL THE PACE OF THIS GAME. SEE THIS LEVER? WATCH." Getting a power-trip out of this, the alien cranked the machine's hand lever sharply to the left and K.A.R.R.'s driver was suddenly a few inches closer than before. Wasn't so smart to incorporate chains into your costume, was it?

    "TWO: YOU'RE GOING TO COUNT EACH AND EVERY SINGLE CREDIT THAT I SHOW YOU. IF YOU MESS UP, YOU GET ONE INCH CLOSER TO FREE FACIAL RECONSTRUCTION SURGERY. IF YOU KEEP PERFECT COUNT, YOU DON'T PROGRESS AT ALL. OH MY, WHAT FUN! I'M GETTING SHIVERS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOUR DARLING LITTLE FACE CRAWLING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO MY SPINNING FRIEND, HERE!" A fairly easy rule to remember, right?

    "THREE: THE LAST AND MY FAVOURITE RULE, YOU'RE GOING TO SCREAM UNCLE ZURG EVERY TIME I DECIDE TO RANDOMLY PULL THE LEVER. PAY ATTENTION, MY DEAR, BECAUSE I WON'T TELL YOU WHEN~!" Surely it was obvious why you had to scream, Uncle Zurg, yes?

    Rules declared, Zurg reached down for a credit without looking and he held it up at the driver. "WELL, SMILES? WHAT IS IT!? COME ON, SPEAK UP! UNCLE ZURG DOESN'T HAVE ALL DAY!"

    This was going to be a very, very long night.

    Rolling a Level 96 - 100 die ; the number is the credit.


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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by System on Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:40 pm

    The member 'Zurg' has done the following action : Dice Rolls

    'Attack/Heal (96-100)' : 53
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Fear on Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:20 pm

    "I am most certainly NOT feeling under the weather!" the Dark Judge hissed angrily at his vexing ally. Again with that imbecilic excuse! Did K.A.R.R. even realize that the undead couldn't fall ill? They were already dead! That was the whole point of un-DEAD. "And while you were busy kissing up to these wretched mortals, I was the one busy at work getting the money for your repairs! I deserve more than the lion's share of recogni - HUURK!" Oops, forgot about the sinner during the argument. Judge Fear felt the host body's neck nearly snap in half, the ghoul struggling out of reflexes. "Unhand me, you iniquitous brute!" he demanded, sharpened talons latching themselves onto the purple alien's overalls. Hmm, that face was quite familiar... Did he smell copyright infringement?

    As much as Judge Fear would have liked to rest his feet after an eventful workday, he couldn't. Why? Well, because he was currently slammed against a metal slab and staring down a rotating saw blade several feet away, that's why! "PAH! This game doesn't frighten me!" spat the Dark Judge, his otherworldly voice easily rising above the machine's ravenous crying. Defiant until the bitter end, Judge Fear craned his neck to glare at the assistant technician, hissing, "Go on, then! KILL me, you purple fool! I will only come back and punish you for your insolence!" There was just one problem, however...

    How was the Dark Judge supposed to find and ripen a perfectly good replacement!?

    Whipping his gaze back at the spinning teeth, several things flooded his mind: where was the nearest morgue; what were the bodies like; and how could he brew an adequate amount of dead juices? Could he even make dead juices here!? An even bigger question yet was: how could the ghoul get someone - anyone - to do this all for him? K.A.R.R. certainly didn't have any arms to give aside from a spare tire! "W-Wait... Perhaps we started on the wrong foot," Judge Fear addressed the frenzied alien, changing his previous tune. Futilely his yellowed nails tried to scratch and claw at anything they could find, the Dark Judge desperately squirming. When his toes could no longer feel the ground, however, that is precisely when the fiend knew there was no escape from this sinister contraption.

    "NO!" Judge Fear shouted with all of his supernatural might, his talons creating sparks against the very metal they fought against. "I do not want to play this game! I do not want to have my face surgically reconstructed! I do not want this vessel destroyed!" Not after he had struggled so long to obtain it! Not after he had worked so effortlessly to keep it! Perhaps he could reach for a shrunken head and blow off the sinner's hand?

    ...No, that would certainly spell this body's doom.

    Hissing and fighting like a trapped animal, the Dark Judge scratched at his throat and couldn't seem to disengage himself from these chains. Wretched uniform! He just had to opt for chains, hadn't he!? "Uncle Zurg, Uncle Zurg!" he cried, kicking and flailing. Judge Fear hated this world with an infinite passion!

    "Fine, fine! I will count for you those accursed credits if you spare me this vessel, this body!" did the Dark Judge continue to shout. No longer rolling upon the slab and thinking he could win, the fiend forced himself into an uncomfortable position to read, "Fifty-three credits! You are now holding fifty-three credits!!" What a stupid game! When he got out of this ridiculous trap and reached the height of his power, the Dark Judge will smite this grinning sinner like no other! "The next one, the next one!" Judge Fear hollered, the ghoul feeling this body's windpipe collapsing against tightening chains. "Show me the - hrrk! - next one, damn you!"

    Somewhere Judge Mortis was cackling his sheep skull right off.
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by K.A.R.R. on Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:57 pm

    Alas, it seemed the AI's smooth words were not enough to level out the tenseness between ghoul and alien. Within moments of Judge Fear's mockery and insults the overall wearing technician decided that enough was enough. His movements were a blur, quickly snatching up the Dark Judge by his uniform and slamming him against what looked to be an industrial band saw. What came next was nearly no surprise, as the alien began to partially feed the ghoul to the mechanical monstrosity, demanding that they play a game of Uncle Zurg. The stakes were high and the rules dangerous, it could only be hoped that the undead retreated from his hubris before things grew too far. Though, while he was up there...

    "What you call kissing up is what I consider business, if you had not been so uncouth to the Head Mechanic and the Technician I would have never needed to get involved earlier and you would not be up on that saw." KARR retorted coolly. "Both of us have just arrived here and yet you still walk like as if you have all the power in the world, what other logical ends do you think to have happened by attacking one much stronger than yourself? That man you are mocking is the Zurg we had heard about earlier you fool!" Why else did the ghoul think that the AI was being so personable to the mechanic and her employee?

    The saw came down once, halted by his driver's sudden pleas, all the while the enraged technician began to pick up credit chips and hold them to the ghoul's face, demanding a number that was displayed upon them. A few lights glowed within KARR's cabin as Judge Fear continued to beg for mercy, the laser that was repaired earlier silently charging and the car quickly made a split second decision.

    "Big Z?" A rather familiar voice called from the front of the shop. "I hear yelling back there, is everything okay?" It looks like the technician's boss decided to come back and see how her employee was doing. "And what's this about an Uncle Zurg?" Uh-oh, she did not sound too pleased about that...
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 15, 2013 9:10 pm

    "THAT'S RIGHT, YOU OVERGROWN BUZZARD. SQUAWK FOR YOUR SUPPER, SQUAWK!" As satisfying as it was to hear a grown man plead for his life, Zurg's attention was thus effectively... split. The band saw was immediately killed and soon the back area grew deathly quiet. No pun intended, you understand. He could have sworn he heard...

    Jo? wrote:"I hear yelling back there, is everything okay? And what's this about an Uncle Zurg?"
    What the...

    Zurg's bout with madness reached its cooling point and the man rose up from his seat, dubious about... something. He didn't know what, but something didn't feel... right. "Jo?" the monarch called back, his senses returning. "Jo, you are supposed to be home right now. It's dinner time, remember? Why are you back at the shop and without calling me first?" That wasn't something she would do. His suspicions increasing, Zurg sniffed at the air and strained his hearing as far as it would allow. Funny, he didn't notice Jo's usual stink or breathing patterns... He also didn't feel her walking around, either. That left one logical conclusion: "Alright, which one of you wisecracks is secretly a ventriloquist," he demanded to know. "Come on, now! Speak up or forever hold your peace. I know one of you is trying to pull a fast one on me..."

    HellooOOOOoooo! Ex-Evil Emperor, remember? Zurg may be retired and a little sluggish on the draw, but he knew his companion like the back of his hand. There was no mistaking that stink for anything else in the Gamma!


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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by Fear on Fri Nov 15, 2013 9:19 pm

    "I know this man is Zurg! I KNOW!" It's not like the sudden sadistic streak didn't give it away, or anything... Still trying to wriggle his way out from this unpleasant sequence of events, the Dark Judge also paused when he heard a... feminine voice from the store's lobby? Oh no... Oh no...

    With an exasperated sigh Judge Fear ceased his struggles and grew limp. "That would be my, ugh, ingenious associate..." the ghoul grumbled, currently helm-first on the metal slab. You know what, it was far easier to just let the sinner cut this body in half and be done with it. Anything would be less painful than hearing K.A.R.R.'s pathetic attempt at trying to hoodwink the man known as Zurg. Oh well, perhaps something good came out of this blunder. The band saw was no longer in operation and the Dark Judge could rest a little better knowing that he currently wasn't threatened with facial reconstruction surgery, as the employee had generously put it. There was just one thing that could make this all better. Really, as right as rain!

    "Does this mean K.A.R.R. can swap places with me, or...?" It was worth a shot.
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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

    Post by K.A.R.R. on Fri Nov 15, 2013 10:13 pm

    Luckily the KARR's ruse had managed to temporarily distract the alien, but not for long. While the AI was able to replicate one's voice quite well, the alien's other senses were far beyond the vehicle's capabilities. Breathing patterns, scents and footsteps were not part of KARR's ruse, sadly. Quickly the AI's systems searched for the offending chain that held Judge Fear in place on the band saw, locking onto the taught bands of metal with precision only a machine could muster.

    Zzzap! Chink!

    The weakest link was snapped with a beam of neon green light, freeing the ghoul from his place on the machine. A trifle the Judge would undoubtedly lament over, at least until they found a hardware store to scrounge for parts in. Though with the ghoul's rather quick change to rat out the AI on his attempts to quell the alien's rage, he began to wonder if doing all that was truly worth it in the first place...

    "No one will be swapping places." He sternly remarked. "While I admit you certainly earned that scare, I would much rather keep my driver's body intact. Technician Zurg, if you wish I may count the credits once he picks them up off the floor and places them on the table. While your facilities are admirable in their order and care, I would rather not stay here all night due to my driver's actions." KARR stated calmly. "My ventriloquist act, as you put it, was the only reasonable method I could figure to persuade you from cutting my driver's face into metal strips."

    The door that had been opened in offering earlier slammed shut, sealing the car's interior off from bot the technician and his driver. Speaking of which... "Judge Fear, if another insult or mockery escapes your helm this evening I will make you my personal parking space. Pick up those credits." Nothing but ice came from the AI's vocalizer as his command was given, turbines firing and giving a short rev for emphasis.

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    Re: We Hope You Accept Frequent Murder Miles

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