Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

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    Lawrence
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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Lawrence on Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:20 pm

    No, Zurg wasn't too happy about that last smack but too bad, he had earned it. Although, to be honest, Lawrence didn't hit him as hard as he could have. He wouldn't go all out on an organic, especially if that organic was his friend. This oddly reminded him of something, though. "At least I did not strike you as hard as I would need to do the same to Doctor Nefarious during one of his malfunctions . . . the gears in his head required quite a bit of kinetic force applied to become unstuck."

    The butler was about to get back to sipping on his energon, but it would appear that drink of Prixlezub's would have one last gasp before the night could move on to other things. Zurg ended up belching out a blue-white fireball into the air, and then blushing profusely. Lawrence blinked a bit in surprise, but easily went back to his usual nonchalant manner. Well, maybe he was still a little bit startled. "I... I believe it was best that one did come out."
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    Jo Pistonne
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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Nov 16, 2013 6:18 pm

    Made wife with Megamind? Hold up, hold up! Y'all need to cool your britches and kowtow to the real fanfic mastermind.

    Jo's Super DUPER Mega-Awesome Fanfic:
    There once were two alien bumpkins by the name of Kev and Big Z. They weren't the most clever of aliens, hence bumpkins, but they had really big hearts. One day while skipping gaily through the park, Kev had a brilliant idea strike him. "Oh hey, Zurgito-senpai, you know what we should do today~?" he asked in his Kevvy-Wevvy voice. The bigger bumpkin of the two, Big Z, finished eating a bunch of flowers and hopped on over.

    "No, what, Kev-chan?" he asked, ooh so manly.

    Kev girlishly giggled and twirled on his itty-bitty tiptoes. "We should totes go pull a prank on that meanie-weenie Jo Pistonne, ooh~! She's got such a biiiiiiiiiig badunk-a-dunk that we just have to get her knickers in a twist."

    "Hmm... sounds dangerous," mumbled Big Z, employing the use of his thunk.

    But Kev leaped into Big Z's arms and batted his eyes, irises sparkling in the radiant afternoon sun. "But Zurgito-senpai~! You want to make my kokoro go doki doki, riiiiight?"

    "Umm..."

    "Then it's settled!" Kev rolled out from Big Z's mighty-man arms and began to skip off. "To the blue house on Monitor Lane we shall gooooooooo~!"

    And so our brave alien bumpkins went to the spoooOOOOOooooky blue house on Monitor Lane, Kev and Big Z stopping before its well-manicured lawn of DEATH. Being the big scaredy-cat that he was, Big Z whimpered and clenched his legs together tightly. "This is a bad idea, Kev-chan! She'll cut off our imaginary nipples and make little fried eggs out of them!" So kawaii!

    "Bah, nothing will happen to us," denied Kev. "You're such a big sissy-melon! Put a cork in it and get your blubbery bruuka over here, GODS." Ignoring the legendary crying that was whale, Kev proudly marched up those creaky steps and retrieved his legendary weapon with +1,000,000,000,000 in poop: a tack! "Behold, my most powerful item of all! With this legendary weapon of sheer godhood, I will just place it right here and let Jo Pistonne prick herself! It's not like she doesn't want to prick herself, anyway."

    "Is that a pass at innuendo and at our cross-species relationship?"

    "Are you a big weiner-whiner?" Kev rolled his large eyes and expertly stuck his legendary (read: really bad) weapon onto the doorbell, making sure that the pokey end was facing outward. "There~!" he happily chirped while admiring his work. "Time to enact my cunning master plan." Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy~! Clearing his mind in preparation, Kev reached over and loudly rapped his knuckles against the front door.

    Knock, knock, knock!

    Except.

    It was.

    A TRAP!

    The porch immediately gave way and Kev fell down a long and terrifying chute, the bumpkin screaming, "ZURG-BAKA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. WE SHOULD HAVE NEVER VISITED THIS HOUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE...!"

    A faraway thud and a groan later...

    "Ow..."

    Meanwhile, back at the safety of the sidewalk, Big Z jumped in place and slapped both hands upon his head. "Oh no, it is all my fault!" exclaimed he, panicking. Running around in a little circle like a chicken with its head missing, the alien loudly whooped and yelped. "What do I do, what do I do, what do I DO!?" Wait, an idea! Big Z gripped at the floating light bulb over his head and tossed it aside with a noisy shatter, "Begone, demon light! I shall rescue the fair maiden Kev and save the day without you!" Ideas were of the DEBIL. Knowing better than to use his thunk, the alien rushed toward the house and leaped into the very same chute that had claimed Kev. "I'm coming to rescue you, little buddy!" And so down he went, disappearing in a flash of greens and purple.

    Now in the blue house's notorious basement, the dazed alien shakily stood up and wobbled off a badly-beaten mattress. "Oof... I had forgotten how much gravity hurts," he groaned.

    "Not as much as I'm about to hurt you," said a sultry voice off in the distance.

    Suddenly a blinding light shone from above and the entire basement was lit, a wicked cackle emanating from across the room. "My name is Madame Pistonne and welcome to my Chamber of Horrors!" laughed the lady of this sinister house. Dressed in nothing but a red bodice and black lacing, Madame Pistonne lounged back and crossed a leg. "Do you like what you see so far?" she inquired with a purr.

    Big Z, always thicker in the head than he was between the legs, glanced around and made a sound of contemplation. A rarity! "Hmm, I don't know..." he said slowly, still deciding. "I like what you've done with the spacing but are all these chains and spikes really necessary? I mean, there's only so much you can do with cages and - "

    "SILENCE!" ordered Madame Pistonne, tired of his critique. "This is a chamber of horror, blubber nugget, not a chamber of chastity. Now, what do you think of my new seat?" Beneath her plump derriere was a hog-tied Kev, Madame Pistonne using the poor string bean for her nefarious resting purposes. "He's rather darling, don't you think? SQUEAL FOR MOMMA!"

    With a swift kick of her spiked heel, Kev jerked at the sudden pain and got to squealing. "OINK, OINK, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He then paused, eying Big Z angrily to snort, "So much for, I don't know, rescuing me, huh?"

    Big Z merely shrugged. "I didn't really think this plan through and her bust is kind of terrifying, so..."

    "MWAHAHAHAAA!" Madame Pistonne had herself a cruel laugh, throwing back her head. "I just had myself a cruel laugh!" she yelled, proud. Glancing back at her second guest, the woman licked her lips and thought of all the evil things she would do to him. "Oho, never you mind about your scrawny little companion here..." she said, one hand reaching for an adjacent drawstring. "I've got something even better in store for you, my elusive virgin." Tugging on the gilded rope without delay, a nearby curtain melted into the background and revealed the most awful torture device of all!

    A fireman's suit.

    "Those... Those pants don't have any backing to them," Big Z squeaked. The atrocity!

    Cackling, Madame Pistonne shifted while still seated on Kev and seductively growled, "I know." She pulled a lever this time and effectively sealed off all exits. "All the more fitting for when I bring out the Cannon," she added with a devilish grin.

    There was much squealing that day, both alien bumpkins never again visiting the terrifying blue house on Monitor Lane.
    "NYEEEHEHEHEHEHEEEE!" Jo was suddenly besides herself with impish chortling, the mechanic drooling over her s'mores treat but not at all focusing on it. "Oh yes, much squealing..." she continued to slobber. Rudely jolted out of her womanly fantasies thanks to Big Z's burp, Jo blinked and the glaze over her eyes lifted. "Huh? OH. Welcome back, Big Z. Glad you could rejoin the living," she grinned, licking her chops. Just you wait, buddy... The mechanic went back to munching on her s'mores, chomping down with renewed interest. "Nyeh he he he..."
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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Kev on Sun Nov 17, 2013 9:31 pm

    Zurg wrote:Why would the monarch make wife?
    Why would Kev stuff Megamind's turkey with a glistening baster? Things happen in fanfics that would never happen in real life! Want a good dose of that, go look at Jo's. Unrealistic dribble drabble! And how was putting a tack on the doorbell supposed to prank Jo? She wasn't going to ring her own doorbell!

    Anyway, back to reality. "But Zurg! Don't we have a limit on how many times we can die?" It was a very weird, flexible little limit to be sure, but still, not a limit to be tested! Especially out of some boredom. Didn't taste a thing, huh? "That's a shame, but at least you seemed to die quick!" Hate for him to have felt all of that. The belch caused Kev to let go and draw back in alarm. Bluish white fire came out of Zurg. Um.

    "..." Holy crap Zurg. Kev shuffled back over to his sleeping bag and climbed in quietly. Instead he looked over at Jo and stared. She was drooling and laughing up a storm.

    SCARY wrote:"Oh yes, much squealing..."
    "...You two must be a good match." He scooted away from Jo slightly, looking at her with a bewildered look. He didn't want to know what was in your head either, Jo...he buried himself inside the sleeping bag and curled up.


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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Prixlezub on Mon Nov 18, 2013 8:55 am

    Prixlezub finished off the last of the massive shrimps with a contented snap of his fangs, just in time to see Zurg unleash a great blast of white-blue fire from his mouth. It was certainly one of the more interesting side effects the demon had witnessed during his many years, more than likely due to the fact that the alien was one of the first mortals he had witnessed to drink Sr'nrighhn, die and then return from death shortly after. Kev's concerned cries gave way to another detail, the number of times they could return from the pool. Was the alien's stunt with the prince's drink truly worth wasting one of their uncountable lives? However, the demon's gaze shifted over to Jo for a short moment as she erupted into laughter while drooling over her s'mores. "Is that how one usually reacts to eating a s'more?" Prixlezub asked curiously. Though from the way she licked her lips at the newly returned Zurg he had feeling it was not over the sugary treat alone.

    "I still have some remaining shrimp steaks if you would like to get the taste of your belch out of your mouth." He offered, tilting his blade to show off the remaining cooked cuts of thunder shrimp. "That is, if you would be so kind as to give me something to repay your little misadventure." It did not take much thought to figure what the demon was hinting at, as he lowered his head to the ground and opened his claws invitingly.

    There were scratches to be owed, Zurg.
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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Zurg on Tue Nov 19, 2013 8:54 pm

    What...? How...!? That fanfic is terrible! 0/10, would not read again.

    There wasn't a doubt in Zurg's mind that Lawrence hadn't been joking; if the butler said he smacked his last evil overlord, then he bloody well had done it. "Well, at least I know how Ridley felt after you punched him right in the kisser," said the monarch. And what in the galaxy had gotten into Jo...? Zurg studied the marshmallow bag for good measure, wondering if someone had slipped in some sort of space-themed drug when he wasn't looking. No, these definitely smelled of sugar and little else. "Right." He wasn't going to worry about it as Jo, for the most part, was fairly harmless. She had a healthy imagination and maybe one that he didn't approve of, but she wasn't going to cause injury. That drooling was pretty scary, though... "Limit on lives? Oh."

    Zurg hadn't concerned himself with the life limit (if it even existed) and he shrugged. "I don't know, Kev. I've died my fair share of times, yet I've never had any difficulty coming back. Maybe it's a limit based on non-numerical values?" Here's hoping, anyway. If not, the monarch was getting pretty close to overstaying his welcome down in the Pool. And as for the sudden exclamation of stomach gases... "Apologies, Kev. I hadn't been prepared to contain that one ahead of time."

    ...? wrote:"...You two must be a good match."
    And now what was that supposed to mean!?

    "Hmm," was all the monarch commented with before he redirected his tired gaze upward at Prixlezub. "I've never had a s'more, so I can't explain what would be a normal reaction to eating one. However, some pieces of roasted shrimp would be a rather nice way to conclude my brief foray into death." At the cost of scratchies, though? Zurg glanced down at his bare hands and wiggled those purple digits, not certain if this would work very well. No gauntlets, no sharp things, no disemboweling tips... "I only have my fingers for the evening but if you still want those scratchies, then I do not object," he agreed. So long as the demon lowered his outrageous body temperature, of course.

    Rising to his feet with a wince, the monarch approached Prixlezub's outstretched claws and had himself a seat on one. "Alright, let's get this over with."


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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Lawrence on Tue Nov 19, 2013 10:33 pm

    Lawrence glanced over to Jo at the impish cackling, wondering just what it was Jo found so funny. Oh wait, was she drooling? There was no way all that drooling was over a s'more of all things . . . someone was probably having naughty thoughts regarding a certain other purple someone. The urge to comment struck hard, and he couldn't help but say something, given this perfect opportunity. "Well, Prixlezub, some organic females have an interesting reaction to chocolate, but I believe there's a bit more to it than that in this case..."

    The butler settled in to sip more of his energon, while the car demon offered shrimp to Zurg and also demanded scratchies. Oh my, everyone loved those 'hands of a god', didn't they? Now it was Lawrence's turn to get all dreamy-eyed . . .

    This butler is a fanfic writer too?:
    It was the result of one misadventure or another, but on one particular day, Lawrence came home absolutely covered in dirt and grime. Seeing how miserable his friend was, Zurg wouldn't stand for it and so immediately offered to help scrub him down. The butler seemed a bit too embarrassed to accept, but the monarch insisted, and so it was time for a very thorough cleaning.

    Roughly ten minutes later, while Zurg was working on a rather stubborn spot, Lawrence let out yet another faint little sigh of happiness and leaned into the scrubbing. Just the feeling of having those wonderfully strong hands rubbing all over him . . . it was simply divine.

    The others wouldn't catch the butler drooling, but it was easy enough to tell from his expression and the occasional dreamy sigh that his thoughts had wandered someplace very pleasant indeed.


    Last edited by Lawrence on Wed Nov 20, 2013 7:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:34 pm

    What? How dare you! That fanfic was the absolute best - BEST! Or would you rather make wife with Megamind? Jo fortunately wasn't that dense and she could take a hint. The drool works ceased and she wiped her mouth, huffing. "What? I just so happened to have made a really good s'mores, that's all." Don't you boys question her!

    Kev wrote:"...You two must be a good match."
    QUESTIONING.

    The mechanic finished her treat and sent Kev a lopsided smirk. "You know what they say, Kev! Opposites attract and all that," she said. Jo's shameless nature coupled with Big Z's chaste upbringing. It was perfect! While he went off with his fabled god hands to please Prixlezub, Jo caught Lawrence tiptoeing through a few choice tulips. Look at that butler, sighing as if no one would notice. She squinted and reached into the marshmallow bag, pulling out a plump chubby bunny while closing one of her eyes. Plink! "Portal Breach to Lawrence, Portal Breach to Lawrence~!" Jo teased. Hopefully he didn't mind a single marshmallow bouncing off his otherwise clean paneling. That won't warrant a full-body detail, just to let you know! No freebies.

    "What's the matter with you, Kev?" Jo inched further into Big Z's sleeping bag and tried not to yawn, sleepily eying her friend curl up in his cocoon. "Are you already tired, you patsy? Sleep is for the - " she yawned again, this time failing to conceal it " - weak," Jo finished.

    Mm, this spot was just so warm.
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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Kev on Thu Nov 21, 2013 4:23 pm

    Oh, what's this? "You punched Ridley, Lawrence? Wow. I have even more respect for you now." Mmmyeah punch that Ridley. Punch him real good! "I've died quite a few times as well Zurg, but I wouldn't wanna push it. It could be that...and it could also just be if someone even wants to come back." Though that had some interesting implications for people like Delila that had something still here for them only to leave it all behind. Jerks. "No harm done, it was just a burp~!" And it looked like Kev wasn't the only one who saw Jo's little s'more episode! "I don't think so, Prixlezub. I think she's got something else on that mysterious mind of her's." Lawrence seemed to be of like mind in that regards. And it means exactly what it means, Zurg.

    Jo Pistonne wrote:"What? I just so happened to have made a really good s'mores, that's all."
    "Mhm. Though I've never heard of any squealing s'mores, have you guys?" He questioned, a teasing tone to it. You can lie to yourself, Jo, but you can't lie to them! They knew you better than that. "Opposites attract, but birds of a feather, flock together." Lawrence was spacing out, Prixlezub had offered Zurg more food in exchange for some scratchies of some kind, and Jo was calling out to the spacing robot, tossing some sort of marshmallow at him. Things were finally starting to settle down! And it seemed to make his eyes heavy...

    His eyes popped back open at Jo's voice, rubbing them tiredly. "Well its been a long day and all..." Being evil really takes it out of you. He looked back at Jo, though he snickered as she yawned as well. "Guess that means we're both weak~" He stretched his arms out and propped his head up on his hands. "If no one else is ready for sleep I can stay up a bit more~" He kinda wanted to see those scratchies.


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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Prixlezub on Thu Nov 21, 2013 5:05 pm

    Between Lawrence's statement about females and Jo's own defense about s'mores, the demon could only come to one conclusion... Jo was trying to cover herself after thinking something rather naughty, especially after what the more noodly one of the bunch had said. "I see." Was all he said in reply, glancing at the mechanic thoughtfully. What imaginative scenarios could be playing through her mind at the moment she was enjoying her treat? Maybe a country based fantasy given her comment about "squealing for momma."

    Opposites attract indeed, Jo. Prixlezub's thoughts focused back on the approaching alien as he seated himself on a claw, the talons slightly closing inward on some subconscious reflex. A content, organ shaking rumble later and the prince gently pressed his nose towards Zurg' hands, inviting him to work on his face, more specifically his chin. While the rest of his body was quite dull to physical sensation, the monarch did not need a pair of gauntlets for the demon to feel him touch his chin. "Do not worry about gauntlets, Zurg. They are not needed this evening." He rumbled reassuringly.

    In the process, the rest of the prince fluidly curved around himself, shrimp slabs and all, to form a fiery barrier of thick hide and muscle. Though while Zurg was busy with giving scratches, he may find a talon or two gently massaging circles into his back and shoulders. Who was the demon to take pleasure from a friend while giving none in return? Certainly not the prince.
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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 22, 2013 12:47 am

    Lawrence was currently thinking of things best left unsaid; Jo and Kev were being their usual selves; and now Prixlezub was giving him a massage while getting scratches. Yep, Zurg decided. All was right in the Gamma and nothing was amiss on this night. "Eh, dying isn't so bad," the monarch stated in-between giving the carmorph demon what he wanted. A little scratch there, a little scratch here... Ah, what wonders it was to have the hands of a god. "I just tell myself that I'm coming back no matter what happens, death rule or no death rule." It would take nothing short of Portal-X to keep Zurg from fulfilling that promise, too. And listen to Jo over there, being shameless. Well, time to burst her dirty bubble.

    "Oh, Jo likes to squeal whenever her panties get in a twist." Zing! Zurg didn't fear death, remember~? He then pressed his back against a heated claw and planted both feet firmly upon Prixlezub's chin, working his toes into the demon's incredibly thick hide. This was just as effective, don't you worry. "But she's right; we're such opposites that we at first hated each other. Isn't that right, darling~?" He especially didn't fear dying by a wrench to the face.

    Funny how life worked out, isn't it?

    Uh-oh, two little campers sounded tired... The monarch was content with sleeping or not sleeping either way, but he knew that if Jo was to share his sleeping bag then he had no choice aside from the former. "I'd say we had a fairly eventful night," he spoke up, feet working their way towards Prixlezub's snout area. "We had stories, food, entertainment... what more could anyone really ask for?" If Jo was starting to yawn and bundle up, it meant she wasn't much longer for this world. Kev would most likely follow suit. "Lawrence, are you getting sleepy yet?" he asked. Zurg knew better than to pester Prixlezub; the demon could remain awake for a very long time. Should Lawrence hint that he was ready to shutdown for the evening, perhaps the monarch will retire early and watch the stars travel across the night sky. That would be a nice way to end the day, wouldn't it?


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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Lawrence on Wed Nov 27, 2013 7:57 am

    The plink of the marshmallow bouncing off his metal hide managed to stir Lawrence from that lovely daydream he was having. He aimed a faint glare at Jo, then picked up the marshmallow from where it landed nearby and tossed it back. He wasn't aiming for any spot in particular, but the tiny puff of sugary candy did manage to land on Jo, the sound of impact barely audible.

    He was starting to drift back into that earlier daydream when he caught some of the conversation Zurg was having with the others. Dying wasn't so bad? Lawrence didn't quite agree, though at least the only time he experienced it, it was more or less instantaneous. Getting crushed by a god would do that to you. At the time, even the Pool was no longer at peace, with a battle going on down there as well when he arrived. Then there was Alpha, and then, well...

    The butler terminated that particular thought process in an instant and took a long draw from his energon flask, letting the burn chase away his bad memories. Ugh, certain things he didn't want to be reminded about, even with how candid Zurg was being about it. He kept his comments to himself, as he didn't feel like discussing any of it at the moment.

    Just as well, then, that Jo and Kev were starting to show signs of needing sleep. Lawrence's charge level wasn't quite at the point where he really needed to go into sleep mode, but if everyone else was going to bed, he didn't mind doing the same. A faint yawn escaped him as he started to reply. Huh, maybe he was more tired than his charge indicated. "Not quite yet, but I am certainly nearing that point."

    With that said, he sealed the energon flask and sent it back into his storage, and then made his way into his sleeping bag. Hmm, that was more comfortable than he was expecting, and his optics started to droop a bit more. Another yawn as he laid there looking up at the stars, an idle thought of how much he sometimes missed space trailing through his processor in his drowsiness. "Then again, I may be closer to sleep mode than I thought . . ."

    Lawrence could probably stay awake for a little while longer, but likely not for more than five or ten minutes.
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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Wed Nov 27, 2013 10:48 am

    "Big Z, just because you've died as much as Kev has doesn't mean you should go prodding fate." Listen to her words, for crater's sake! Kev had the right idea, because no one was truly guaranteed their next life. What if something happened and there really was a limit? What then? As much as Jo liked having answers, sometimes it was wiser to let things be and to play a smart game. "You're a stubborn guy when you want to be, but even you have your limits," she quietly added. Please don't push the envelope too far with this place, alright?

    For once Jo was glad that tonight's conversation changed to something less somber - and at her expense, no less! She was willing to cut her losses and bite the bullet on this one. "Kev, don't you be reading my mind," the mechanic warned. He wouldn't be able to handle what was inside~!

    While that should have been the end of it, Big Z had to further make a pest of himself. What else? "Hey! I don't squeal when my panties are in a twist! What is that even supposed to mean!?" Jo hotly demanded. Cue a flying marshmallow from Lawrence and the mechanic's temper started to boil. "Hmph! You boys act like you don't have any impish fantasies," she huffed. Jo picked up the marshmallow and flicked it into the fire, watching it flare up into a crisp for a sec. "Aside from my hormonally-challenged boyfriend, the rest of you aren't fooling me. No, sir! I know you three have your decadent moments." You're all just picking on her because she was shameless about it! A close runner-up was Lawrence. Look at him over there, sighing... She squinted at him one last time and went back to making herself a sleeping bag cocoon. Squealing s'mores... As if!

    "Peh, don't call me darling... That was Morgana's schtick," Jo grumbled into the fabric. Yeah, the mechanic was pretty weak. Already she was feeling the Sandman's influence and Jo wanted nothing more than to bundle up and pass out. She couldn't, however... Tiredly rolling over, the mechanic kept an eye on Big Z and croaked, "Big Z, get your purple bubble butt over here and leave that demon's face alone. You're supposed to be sleeping with me, remember?"

    How come she didn't get scratchies like that? Oh well, pay no mind to her. Jo was precariously tipping between consciousness and unconsciousness.
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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Kev on Wed Nov 27, 2013 5:03 pm

    Jo Pistonne wrote:"Kev, don't you be reading my mind,"
    "Oh, perish the thought, Jo. I've read enough minds today." He'd seen too much, and hopefully it would not haunt his dreams. "But Jo is right, its better to be safe than sorry!" And that included avoiding situations of death. Especially considering what had happened to Proxy. He would have hated for Jo to lose Zurg along with him. His attention was diverted slightly to Zurg and Prixlezub, in a little embrace of scratchies, kneading, and massaging. An interesting display, to be sure, but it also looked kinda comfy!

    "Oh, I remember those days. Jo had a habit of making bad first impressions in those days." Calling Zurg a tranny, rubbing her unmentionables all over Kev, it was quite a trip! Especially compared to how she was nowadays. Speaking of which perhaps he should back off before he got a repeat performance...

    Lawrence tossed the candy right back at Jo, who was getting a little upset. "Decadent moments. Yep. You caught me Jo, secretly I dream of being a real woman. I dream of working in the kitchen and making food for my husband, who is every male in the breach put into one body. And then we make babies." How's that for impish? He snickered like the nosy gremlin he was, curling up in his sleeping bag even more. Lawrence seemed close to going to bed as well, and Jo was urging Zurg to sleep with her. One more snicker and Kev went quiet, quite ready for sleep. For now though, he watched. He liked to watch.


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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Prixlezub on Wed Nov 27, 2013 8:20 pm

    "Mm, they're right." Prixlezub rumbled, his voice a relaxed drawl. "If you tempt fate one too many times, one day it may decide to take what is owed." The demon watched as Zurg leaned back, letting his feet do the work instead of his hands. His lip quirked slightly at the bold action, fangs glinting in the firelight as the alien's toes kneeded into the prince's hide. So, the monarch decided it fitting to massage the demon's nose with the very toes he walked upon, hm?

    Unwilling to let such an offense pass, the prince's gaze looked down at the offending appendages, talons still slowly massaging circles into the alien's back. At least, until they suddenly opened and clasped around the monarch snugly. "You know, Zurg, it is considered an offense to place one's feet upon another's hide where I come from." He said lowly, a deep rumble penetrating air and innards alike. "Such insults do not go unpunished, shall I humor you such torments?... Hm, yes." His even tones belied the flicker of Prixlezub's burning eyes, maw gaping to reveal the boiling magma that awaited inside. Fangs glinted ominously in the firelight, pointed and curving inwards like a row of hellish daggers as a ribbon of flame flicked about before snaking forward, the end forked.

    Had the alien tempted fate one too many times, was this the end for his purple piggies? despite what struggling the alien may make or the loudness of his screams, it still advanced forward like a racing serpent, seeking out a soft purple foot before...

    Ssslurp!

    The ribbon of flame dragged itself up the alien's sole, it's surface blisteringly hot to the point where it felt like the alien had accidentally stepped his foot in an oven. What was that again about one's feet being just as effective? Again the demon rasped his tongue up the other foot, more than happy to treat Zurg to a moment of skin renewal by fire. Only when the mechanic had demanded that the alien go to her sleeping bag did the demon relent, smoke curling from his grill.

    Luck was in your favor this night. "It seems you are required elsewhere. I will pardon you from punishment, for now." Prixlezub noted evenly, loosening his grip on the purple alien as he placed him back on the ground. Perhaps he better go see the mechanic before her fatigue got the best of the both of them.
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    Re: A Sleepover? Is That What Normal People Do?

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 29, 2013 11:44 am

    Just listen to all these weiner-whiners. Don't die again, Zurg, it's too risky! Oh, you don't know how this place works, so use that brain of yours. Yadda, yadda, yadda. The monarch rolled his eyes and remained as ever stubborn, true to his deterministic nature. "Pah," he lazily remarked. Zurg didn't fear a thing on the Breach except for, you know, his loved ones vanishing straight out of the blue. Aside from that the monarch considered himself pretty fearless, however. But if they all kept insisting that he shouldn't tempt the powers that be...

    The monarch begrudgingly listened and thought no more of it. Instead, he focused on the several pieces of dialogue going on and found one in particular to pester. "It sounds exactly like how it's supposed to sound," Zurg chuckled. And what's this about having decadent mome - oh, she singled him out...

    "Hormonally-challenged... You know, I'm not very upset about that," the monarch decided. After all, hormones got people genital-deep into trouble. Eh, all that sexual hoo-hah was overrated if you asked him. There were plenty of other things to appreciate and partake in, such as very nice food or snuggling in bed with the cats. Oh those precious purr-boxes. As for him having these so-called decadent moments, well... Let's just say that the monarch didn't have such imagery very often. For Kev, however, Zurg was always willing to make an exception~! "Alright, I shall not call you darling as you are an entire Gamma better than that overcompensating blowhard. I'm the best at everything I do, NEEEER!" Okay, that was enough mocking an otherwise unimportant failure. Back to massaging Prixlezub's face with his - ?

    Aaaaaand now the monarch was trapped within the demon's claws. Terrific!

    "My, Grandma... what big claws you have," Zurg idly said, reaching up to tap one. Ooh, very pointy. Like death. "And what big fangs you have, too." Wait a moment, how was the monarch supposed to - "It's considered an honour to have my feet grace anything of your body, did you know that?" he asked. It really was, for some silly reason. ...Torment? Oh, now the demon was just being picky.

    A great burst of light and heat escaped from Prixlezub's awaiting maw and Zurg had the nerve to say, "What a pity! I forgot my sunglasses and vegetable oil. You can't eat me without that, you know. Really brings out the golden brown in my skin."

    Purple piggies...?

    Purple PIGGIES!? The audacity! His toes were nothing like the common, lowly swine! Now, Jo's toes, on the other hand...

    Suddenly fire. A lot of fire, or, actually, just a very searing pain. It went without saying that Zurg's feet were quite sensitive, so feeling something that hot across his tender skin was bound to hurt. Even with his naturally thick skin the monarch had himself a little jolt. "YOUCH! Hey, watch it!" he barked. So this is the thanks he gets for giving Prixlezub what he wanted? Fine, he sees how it is. Zurg wasn't going to indulge the demon for an entire year - maybe ten! Or, depending on how the monarch keeps his grudges, for eternity. All will be revealed when he wakes up at sunrise. For now, though, he was glad to be set down on the earth where he could tend his feet.

    "Punishment, hmph!" Zurg sat beside Kev for a moment and stuck both of his feet directly into his mouth. That's right, you read correctly. The monarch popped all ten of his purple piggies and salivated on them in an effort to alleviate their pain. Considering how limber the man was, it didn't hurt him despite how awkward his legs buckled inwards like that.

    It may hurt to watch, though.

    He did that for several minutes, all the while eyeing up at Prixlezub like he wanted a new demon hide set of leathers. You know, to rival Megamind's gaudy fashion sense. Speaking of that blue-headed doofus... Zurg pulled out his feet, now completely drenched in his sticky drool, and glanced over at Kev. "Your husband is every male in the Breach, was it? Well, hope you like making wife with Megamind because you two are just perfect for each other~!" he cooed. Whether or not Kev retorted or grumbled the monarch didn't stick around to find out. He wiped his feet on the cool grass, still eyeing Prixlezub all funny, and eventually found his way back toward the sleeping bag Jo was currently hogging.

    "Okay, okay. I'm here and Prixlezub's face is over there," he grumbled. Now, if he's supposed to be sleeping with her then how was Zurg to actually get into the sleeping bag with Jo already in it? Using his legendary thunk, the monarch shrugged and proceeded to make a drum set out of Jo's back using his hands. Lightly, of course.

    Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap!

    Because sometimes saying "open sesame" just doesn't cut it.


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