Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Agents K and J on Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:03 pm

    A fine yum-yum you say, delicious-looking cat? The dog, for all its weight in slobber and muscle, came stomping on over and it literally sucked the ham slice right out of the officer's hand. Shhhhhloop! Yum-yum. Appeased, it had itself a fine seat off the rather loud man and it decided to lick its chops. Answer questions? What did that mean? More ham? MORE HAM! "WOOF!" More ham was good. Get more ham! It wagged its tail and started to pant happily.

    ...This fellow didn't look like much help, but appearances could be deceiving.

    Meanwhile, K fine tuned his device and had a spot near B, holding out the noisy gizmo in front of them both. "Alright, Agent B. Ask it some questions." Because you looked like an animal, and it might trust you over K, the old grumpy-looking man.

    On the floor, J just grunted as no one bothered to help him up and he busily cleaned his suit of any drool and mud. "Yeah, like Fido can understand you... Dumb mutt." He grumbled.

    But to his surprise the dog turned its big head to look up at him, and it growled. "Grrr..."

    "Okay, okay! Easy! I m-meant NICE dumb mutt, in a GOOD way!" Today was just not J's day.

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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Bonkers on Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:06 am

    “Okay!” Bonkers nodded, ready to embrace his new task! With a smile he turned back to the dog and yes there could be more ham! But even that was limited, and IF they were using it up already, the toon would reeeeeally appreciate to save some left-overs.

    Hey, it wasn’t as if Bonkers could just randomly make toys appear out of nowe- but of course he could!

    As if on cue the toon pulled out a little duck – like you find it for bathing tubs. Small, yellow, squeaking… and he tossed it over to the dog.
    “One squeak means ‘Yes’, Two squeaks mean ‘No’ You got that, buddy?”

    Come on – squeak once for uncle Bonkers.

    And while they worked that out… what was there to possibly ask the dog? And HOW should he ask it? He couldn’t go beyond Yes and No after all.
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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Agents K and J on Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:12 am

    Oh! A squeaky toy!

    The dog snapped it up eagerly, teething the poor thing in its slobbery maw before settling down on all fours. Eyes rolling in their sockets as most dogs with a chew toy do, it lazily eyed the bobcat and licked the top of the duck's head. SQUEAK! That was one. J just couldn't believe his eyes and K kept the gizmo rolling. Wonder what that did? They wouldn't know, not yet, as the dog let out a bored yawned and looked up at Bonkers with those reddened, pleading eyes of its.

    Ham... Haaaaaaaaam...

    Talk already, you cat-snack!

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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Bonkers on Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:26 am

    Okay, posting Yes/No questions always built up on things that they previously knew, so… what DID they already know?
    The mess in this house was caused by robots. Right? K had confirmed that.
    And the people in the house were gone – where to no one knew… no one?

    “When was the last time y-“ the toon suddenly stopped himself, facepalmed, shook his head and looked back at the dog.

    “Have you seen it all happen?”
    “Were a lot of people involved?”

    Aaand… come on, one more. You can do it, Bonko! He cut off another piece of the ham, having it bounce temptingly up and down.
    “Do you know where your masters are? And if so could you possibly lead us there?”
    Dogs had this very good nose, right?

    Watch the toon – watch him gooooo ~
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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Agents K and J on Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:09 am

    Ham! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, delicious ham! Yes!

    The mind of a dog was not a hard thing to understand, and it panted excitedly with tail wagging. Okay! Speech! Ham! Ham-speech! Get ham? Speech! First question? Hard! The dog only tilted its head, whining. Can't answer! Ham now? Another question? Oh! See it all happen? What happen? No ham when it happened! "SQUEAK SQUEAK!" The dog didn't see it happen, and it whined again. Ham now? A lot of people? People! People had ham! "SQUEAK!" But the dog couldn't tell metal from flesh, so robots were people. And so were masters. Masters had ham the most!

    Now, that last question was weird. Where did masters go? Could it find them? The dog woofed loudly, standing up. Find masters? How! Masters went away! Masters went with the funny people! Shiny people! Also, weird bat. Bat went with masters! Bat didn't have ham. Do not like bat!

    But could it answer?

    The dog howled loudly, unsure. Can't find masters! Masters never left! Masters were here. Then not! They changed! Can't describe! Not like ham! Know what ham is! Picking up the toy, it sat upon its haunches again and slightly squeaked it. "SQUE-aaaaak..." Get ham now...?

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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Bonkers on Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:45 am

    Someone sure looked excited for his ham!

    Okay, so we got a no and a yes and a… maybe?
    Hum… the toon threw the little snippit of ham up in the air for the dog to catch, while he thoughtfully rubbed his chin.

    MATHS!

    The dog hadn’t seen it happen, but it knew there were a lot of people. Maybe it had heard that to be sure of it. The last part… too bad, Bonkers had hoped to get the most information from that. Seemed they had to approach it a bit slower.
    Plucking another piece from the meat, the toon sat himself on the ground and looked the dog over.

    Maybe they could knock the animal unconscious and have Baarbara get some information from his dream? But Baarbara was terrified of dogs, no he couldn’t ask that of her, but maybe… the thought wasn’t too bad.

    “Would you recognize the”
    ...people involved? Troublemakers? “culprits?”
    And without elaborating further, the toon turned to look at the Agents. Maybe they could show him pictures of the people from the criminal record.

    Yes, fine, he'd take it wasn't a party. Happy now, J?
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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Agents K and J on Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:03 pm

    Ham!

    The dog snapped it up happily, eyes lazy. Haaaaaaam, mmmmmm... Oh? MORE HAM!? Its nose never lied, and the dog barked excitedly at the prospect of getting more ham to eat. Sure! Ask! Ham! Get ham, ask!

    Meanwhile, K was trying to make sense of all this. "Hmm, so the dog didn't see anything but it recalls a lot of bodies. Interesting." This only prompted an incredulous response from J, who wasn't believing any of this was happening.

    "Seriously, K, seriously?" J asked, disgruntled. They were asking a dog for clues! A dog!

    K just thought it was amusing and he pulled out a packet of criminal records. "It seems viable enough. Now, do you recognize any of these?" The Agent asked as he showed the eager canine a few pictures.

    Pictures! But none with ham!

    At first the dog whined, unsure about any of them. No! These weren't masters! These just not-masters! Interesting tail on that lady, but no! The dog picked up its toy to all the pictures and went -- "SQUEAK SQUEEEEEEAK!" Nothing here!

    A definite NO, so now what? Perhaps Bonkers needed to ask a different question, and not one about culprits.

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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Bonkers on Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:26 pm

    Bonkers shook his head and helplessly jumped to sit on the table. He tossed the dog another crumb of meat before he sunk his head.
    “I’m sorry, boss – I’m fresh out. Do you got any idea, J?”
    The bobcat looked around the kitchen a bit defeated, until he spotted candy on the counter.

    Ooooh, that was just what he needed now!

    The toon slipped off from the table again and walked up to the little bowl of cinnamon cookies. He was about to take one, when he noticed a familiar pattern next to the sink.
    The crocodile!
    “Booooss…es?”
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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Agents K and J on Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:34 pm

    While the dog was busy chewing on its ham, no doubt satiated and in bliss, the Agents heard B's voice. What now? J shrugged openly as K lead the way, both men following Agent B and glancing down at their orange comrade. "What's the matter, B?" J asked, peering over K's shoulder from behind. "What'd ya find?"

    K only spotted a bowl of cookies, cinnamon from the smell of it. Hmm, cinnamon... He didn't connect anything, however, and instead eyed Agent B curiously. "What is it, Agent B? Is there something out of place here?"

    What was the matter?

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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Bonkers on Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:48 pm

    CUE THE MAGNIFYING GLASS AGAIN!
    With a single swoop Bonkers moved the tool over a tiny heap of scales that looked as if they had been strewn all over the utility sink. For the bare eye they might have looked like rust particles.
    “Could this be from the crocodile?”

    And could the dog maybe wind it?
    …no Bonkers, you treasured your life – don’t let yourself be eaten because of a request like that.
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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Agents K and J on Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:58 pm

    More scales! Dun dun duuuuuun.

    K bent over to get a good luck and he held up the scale he had found earlier. Done cross-referencing, he put the baggie away and nodded his head. "It's a match." He confirmed dryly. So... the same scale was found in the toilet... This was interesting, and it explained why there was --

    "Scat? In the sink!?" J covered his nose and fanned the air in front of his face. "What's that doing in there?!"

    A good question.

    Here came the dog from before, still looking for more, and it sat down beside Bonkers, the giver of ham. HAM! It panted downwards at the officer, looking expectantly at the bobcat's hand. Ham? Ask more! Get ham!

    Looking to each other, the Agents raised a brow and brought their attention back to the bobcat. "Ask it if it could sniff out a trail." A trail of shit, no less, but a trail all the same.

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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Bonkers on Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:13 pm

    …For REAL? Eu…
    Well, order was order.
    “Okay, boy,” the toon said and bubbled up a colorful leash for the dog. “Come here…”
    With that he knelt down on the ground and put the leash on the dog’s collar.
    “You’re gonna do us a big favor now, okay?” the bobcat prepared the dog with pets and ruffles – and a tiny piece of ham.

    Well, yeah – and then – leash still tightly in hand (the toon had EXPERIENCE) the bobcat took a paper towel and picked up some of the scales, lowering them down for the dog to smell on.
    “You heard my boss. That’s a big piece ham, if you can help us here”
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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Agents K and J on Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:26 pm

    Yes, for real. Evidence was evidence, and K didn't skimp out on the details. If this was a murder mystery, then they needed everything. Including the shit. Luckily the dog just loved walks, and it wagged its tail happily. Oh, boy! A walk! Walk with ham! Ham! At the ruffles and the patting it closed its eyes happily, rather content. Oh, boy! Walk and ham, walk and ham! HAM! Oh?

    At the piece of paper the dog sniffed the scales curiously, before narrowing its. "Grrr..." Smell! Bad smell! Lizard! Stinky lizard! Yes, the dog knew of this scent and it did not like it. Lizard breathe fire! Fire singe hair! Not good, like cat with ham! Why did the cat want to know? What!? More ham!? BIG HAM!? Cat want to know where lizard went~? Okay!

    "Woof! Woof!" Barking loudly the dog yanked Bonkers away, going out of the kitchen proudly and marching out of the backdoor. Lizard this way! Went this way! To the backyard! Near dog house!

    Still silent but amused, K glanced at his partner through the corner of his eyes. "Not going to work, huh." That was all he said as he walked out without another sound.

    "Yeah, yeah..." J grumbled as he followed. "I didn't know we'd be dealing with Frank's cousin, okay?"

    Come to think of it, were Remoolians on Portal Breach...?

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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Bonkers on Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:39 pm

    Wurp – and there Bonkers went.
    In the garden, the dog seemed to slow down and stopped near its hut.
    Well… that was… not quite what they had been looking for? But who knew!
    The toon took a look into the hut but… didn’t find anything suspecting. It was kinda dark too! Maybe K would find something, but as of now, it didn’t look too promising.

    “Are you sure this is where the crocodile went?” the bobcat questioned the dog again and… for safety issues tightened the grip on the leash. Somehow he had a bad feeling about this…
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    Re: A Great Way to Start the Holidays...

    Post by Agents K and J on Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:52 pm

    "A doghouse?" Yeah, J wasn't necessarily buying that one, either. This idea was a load of --

    "Aha."

    Aha? The young buck stopped his criticizing and he spied his partner doing -- of all the things -- peeking into the doghouse on his knees and hands. Why was the man on his -- never mind! "K! What are you doing?" J asked. This was all getting out of hand! Was he the only sane one around here? Compared to a toon who thought he was the dog whisperer and K who was messing with filth, looked like it!

    Agent K removed half of his body out of the doghouse, in his hand the tweezer gripping another clump of scales. "What does it look I'm doing, Slick." He grumbled. "I'm doing your job." Oh, touchy. Getting up and dusting the mud off his suit -- he'll clean it later -- Agent K deposited the evidence in another baggie and labeled it backyard. So far this made bathroom, kitchen, and now the backyard. Interesting. Things were piecing themselves together. "We're getting somewhere." K remarked as he fixed his tie. "I can feel it."

    "And I can smell it..." Pee-yew! This caper was a stanker!

    But back to the dog.

    Doghouse! Ahhh... doghouse. It liked this doghouse. But lizard wasn't here! It was, but not now! Sniffing, the dog went around in a few circles before picking up its head questioningly. Lizard? Lizard! With a mighty bark, as loud as a car's horn, the dog suddenly charged with Bonkers unwillingly dragged along for the ride. LIZARD! Without another second to lose, the dog simply plowed through the fence, taking a sharp turn and disappearing from sight.

    All that was left was a cartoon cut-out of the dog's shape, along with an alarmed Bonkers.

    "That's our cue. Let's go, Slick." And before J could even object, K had already ran out of the backyard to follow. Did that man ever get tired?

    With a sigh J could only prepare himself and he grudgingly went after the officers. "I should have taken traffic duty today..."

    Great...

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