Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    What's this About the Fluffy Ones?

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    Kev
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    Re: What's this About the Fluffy Ones?

    Post by Kev on Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:43 pm

    Kev nodded happily. "Yes, I can't wait for them to be my height, then that cheerful face can be up in my face!~" Zurg went off to get the water and Kev decided to look after the little sunflowers while he was away.

    The watching was uneventful, a bee or too coming over to sniff the sunflowers and help the pollination process, when suddenly, Kev noticed that one of the flowers had tattered, half eaten petals. He turned around, looked at the back of the sunflowers and saw a JUNE BEETLE. Kev gasped and reeled back in disgust.

    "GET OFF MY FLOWER YOU HEATHEN!" He swatted at it, only for it to fly from the flower to his face and eye. Great. While Zurg was almost killed by butterflies, Kev was almost killed by a beetle. Two very strong, manly aliens here folks.

    Kev rolled around on the ground, flailing, until the beetle finally flew away. He stood up, panting as if he had just had the fight of his life, when Zurg came back. Kev stood back up and pointed to the sunflowers, as well as a cactus from Dragos. "Those and the Venus flytraps should be good, and great idea, I always forget about the fertilizer! I've got a bag inside, I'll go grab it." Kev raced off to grab it, leaving Zurg alone momentarily. Hopefully, no more murderous butterflies would try to plot Zurg's death.
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    Re: What's this About the Fluffy Ones?

    Post by Zurg on Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:50 pm

    What was Kev screaming about this time? Zurg hadn't a clue and he simply let the little bugger go off to grab some fertilizer. "That poor fellow is so not manly..." The bigger one of the pair just shook his head and proceeded to water wherever Kev had pointed. On the cacti, sunflowers, and even, yes, the carnivorous plants. Ugh, carnivorous plants.

    The watering for the most part was rather uneventful, but the Serviceman did find what had caused Kev's screaming fit. There, on a lone plant, was another beetle. Now, Zurg wouldn't have known it was a June Beetle, but he certainly knew that beetles were pesky and the man went over to it promptly. Hmm, it was rather content to just sit there. Should he squash it, or just... Zurg glanced around and before Kev came back, he reached down and snatched it, holding it securely yet tenderly in his fist. Now that he had it, the Serviceman went over towards a big ol' bush, a weed really, much further away from Kev's cherished garden and he released it. It buzzed away confused, but Zurg had a good feeling it wouldn't be back to bother Kev's plants. The beetle seemed much more content to eat the weed bush!

    Beetle handled successfully, Zurg went back to what he was doing and had himself a little hum. Kev's garden was so pretty! But... the lad needed some vegetables. No garden was complete without growing one's edibles! It beat going to the supermarket, anyway.


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    Re: What's this About the Fluffy Ones?

    Post by Kev on Tue Jul 19, 2011 9:14 pm

    Kev returned with a bag of fertilizer, although it took him a while to shimmy it out of the cottage and into the house. That bag was pretty heavy after all! And these noodle arms aren't what they used to be! In one fist though he had two pairs of gardening gloves, one green the other purple.

    Eventually, Kev got the bag down to the garden and next to Zurg, and he handed over the purple gloves while putting the green gloves on himself. "The garden's not really that big, so I bet between us both, we'll have this garden all fertilized!" He said, grabbing up and handful and careful applying some of the fertilizer around the Venus flytraps. He rubbed it into the ground, especially near where the plant sprouted out, before moving on to a patch a flowers, Tiger Lilies. He smelled it happily before moving on to the Cactus, and several other random plants.

    "So Zurg, how many other gardens have you...gardened? You're pretty knowledgeable bout this stuff, so I bet you've done a lot huh?" He asked curiously.

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    Re: What's this About the Fluffy Ones?

    Post by Zurg on Tue Jul 19, 2011 9:24 pm

    Looked like Kev was having trouble! "Let me help you with that, Kev. If anything happens to you on my watch I'm in pedian slug guano." Together with their collective efforts they both set the fertilizer down, and Zurg almost squealed when he got a set of purple gloves. "Eeee, purple gloves! And they fit, to boot! Even better!" Kev had a matching pair of green gloves, and they looked like a couple of ninnies -- or would that be... househusbands? Whichever.

    "We'll cover this garden in no time, Kev, so let's begin!"

    Digging into the bag, Zurg sprinkled a little handful here, some over there, and lots near the sunflowers. It required that he stayed on his knees a lot, his skirt getting a tad dirtied, but it was all good, clean honest work. He could wash his uniform later by digging into garbage pails for coins. He used his dollar to help support Livewire! "Oh? What gardens have I gardened?" He paused in his work to fix his hat, and he thought for a moment. "Well, recently I helped Casshern with a garden in the desert. That was very hot, but we both learned a lot. Prior to that, I've started a little garden back home on Planet Z. A very lovely assortment. I believe Hellboy, Lightyear, and Xenon helped me with it. But if you're thinking past that? Hmm..." He was tempted to tap a tooth, but Zurg remembered his hands were dirtied. Ew, fertilizer on face!

    "Back on the plains, when I had been a young boy, I did tend a community garden along with the livestock. For seven years, or... was it five? I can never remember. I also developed a slight phobia of carnivorous plants, then, too..." He then blinked the memories from the surface of his eyes, and decided to ask a question himself. "Is this the first garden you've owned, Kev? I daresay it seems so. You don't appear to have a clue at times! Was this your idea or Leslie's?"


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    Re: What's this About the Fluffy Ones?

    Post by Kev on Tue Jul 19, 2011 9:53 pm

    "Oh, thanks Zurg!~" Kev said gratefully as Zurg helped him get the bag over to the garden. How nice! And then Zurg squealed with joy at getting purple gloves, which was...adorable. Oh Gods he just used the word ADORABLE for Zurg. That had to mean that the world was gonna end, natch.

    Zurg was getting down and dirty in his fertilizing, which was admirable to the cause of gardening! Sure enough, by the time they were down he would have EARNED that shrimp. He mentioned that Casshern had that garden in the desert he had only recently gotten done with, and he even had a garden on Planet Z! Kev had no idea!

    "Oooh, that's great, I bet its well taken care of!" Hellboy, Lightyear, and someone named Xenon had apparently helped him with it. Hellboy and Buzz, he knew of course, but Xenon....he was sure Zurg might have mentioned her name before, if only once and if only to Jo. "Who's Xenon?" He asked curiously, although he kept listening as Zurg went on. Back on 'the plains', he wasn't sure what that meant other than possibly somewhere on his home planet, he had spent years on a garden with livestock, which was probably where he learned to be so good with sheep too! Although he also got a phobia for carnivorous plants which....just about explained his aversion to them. "Wow...I never knew that Zurg! Why are you always so full of surprises?"

    He rubbed the back of his head bashfully at Zurg's question. "Well yeah, its my first actual garden, yes! Back home, my job was to help cultivate the ground and make it more fertile, place some plants in there, but that was different from gardening, since you got a new place to work on daily. One day I'd insert a specific plant into the ground, the other I'd make sure every plant was planted, its not as...extensive? Yeah that's the word...extensive as owning plants that we have to water and fertilize individually and daily! It was my idea, I sort of underestimated gardening...its much easier when they're all in pots." He confessed, as he rubbed some more fertilizer into the garden.
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    Re: What's this About the Fluffy Ones?

    Post by Zurg on Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:59 am

    "Who's Xenon?" Zurg repeated the question, peeking through a throng of sunflowers before going back to work. Well, let's tell Kev who Xenon was! "Xenon was my friend! Er, before she... aha, disappeared. But before she disappeared she was my friend and an agent. We did some things together; traveled, explored, fought side-by-side. You know, those kinds of things. She was a real handful and certainly caused my heart to jump and my head to ache, but we got along just fine. Xenon also wore some very fashionable gear. With purple cloth and armour, the girl daresay looked... like........"

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, it clicked. "....me." Zurg finished softly with his eyes slowly widening.

    Immediately the Serviceman stopped, his hands frozen around a sunflower's base; fertilizer still wet and clumped. Kev had spoken about a human -- a female -- wearing clothes similar to him. Xenon was a human -- a female -- who wore clothes similar to him. Could... Could she... No. No, that was impossible. Xenon left, gone. She abandoned them all and didn't look back. She abandoned him. Why would she return after so long? It didn't make sense!

    Now came the mood swing that Zurg was so famous for, and the alien's previous disposition quickly went south. In fact, it went downright terrifying. With a silent blur, his feet quickly rushing through the softened earth, Zurg was already upon Kev and the dangerous villain instantly descended upon the hapless alien. It was a matter of seconds and Kev's neck was already property of Zurg's hands, the enraged Serviceman damn near strangling the poor lad as he pressed Kev's body forcefully into the dirt. Knees pressed against the weaker alien's body to keep from fleeing, the Serviceman growled and snatched a pair of sharpened, metal pruners.

    "Kev, Kev, Kev..." A dark chuckle escaped from Zurg's throat, but the man was anything but happy. To be honest, he was down right pissed beyond all understanding. "You've been withholding information from me, haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU!?" He shook the alien once to scare him into tears, and Zurg brought down the pruners with several cold snip snips! If the alien wasn't afraid then he should be; the Serviceman had a track record, and murder was one of them! "Tell me about the girl who looked like me! TELL ME, KEV!" He snarled loudly, voice grating into that familiar dual-toned echo. "Or..." The villain smiled sweetly and lowered the tipped blades just mere centimeters from Kev's eye. "I'll stab your eye out~!"

    Uh-oh... guess this would count as a relapse in treatment, huh?


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    Re: What's this About the Fluffy Ones?

    Post by Kev on Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:24 am

    Kev had just been putting two and two together, that the strange girl who seemed to know Zurg and looked kinda like him was this Xenon girl, when he felt himself being pushed to the dirt, and two big hands on his neck, choking him. Oh Tulsit. Zurg, who had been so abnormally nice and polite, had just taken a 360 and was choking him, which wasn't polite at all.

    His arms flailed helplessly and he tried to shove Zurg off, but of course, Zurg was bigger than him. Much bigger. And.....oh Gods....he grabbed some kinda of sharp metal THING. He whimpered as he tried to keep up his struggling, terrified like he so rightly should be.

    "I didn't withhold anything, I told you everything I knew Zurg!" Everything he knew that was a truth of course. He winced at the 'snips' and the threat, shaking. Not his eye! Oy GODS not his eye! Take an arm, take a leg, but not his EYE! "Zurg, all I know is she's female, looks human, has that armor you were talking about, and seemed to have just came here! She was very interested in you which was why I thought you knew her! Everything else she told me was a lie! She said her name was BOB! She said she was your lovechild! And when Mustang found her and wanted to drag her to the headquarters, she flew off! With her boots! THAT'S ALL I KNOW! I swear! I SWEAR! Please don't kill me! Don't cut out my eye, or kill me, I don't wanna die again!" Zurg was lucky Kev was telepathic and didn't need an air supply to talk! Although he was getting close to passing out, from both the strangling and the pressure of Zurg on top of his body.
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    Re: What's this About the Fluffy Ones?

    Post by Zurg on Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:45 am

    And sing like a canary Kev did. Zurg listened to everything carefully, and with each syllable that entered his mind the more the Serviceman started to react... violently. "Lovechild?" Oh, yes. Here came the indignant cultural taboo that reared its ugly, purple head. "She said she was my LOVE. CHILD." Not possibly the smartest move on Kev's part, and it resulted in a very adrenaline-rushing ordeal.

    SLAM!

    Kev would find the pruners plunged into the earth a few centimeters beside his head, and Zurg leaned closer towards the frightened alien, his red eyes intense. As he did so Zurg's hand pulled the pruners backward, and a huge gash was raked into the dirt. "So, Xenon's back is she...? And she's already making a mess is she? Lying about someone and trying to save her own miserable, treacherous hide is she? Well! That's certainly no way to treat a friend, now, is it, Kev?" Another deranged laugh and Zurg quickly went back to scowling at Kev, his breath hot and foul. "Thank you, Kev. You told me exactly what I wanted to know. And now... and now..." Kev would feel a firm hand caress his face, and Zurg forced the trembling alien to look up at him, the villain now relatively calm. What was he going to do? Was he going to stab out Kev's eye!?

    Fortunately the pruners were left in the dirt, and Zurg let go. He let go, and he stood up, earth falling off his uniform and the gloves Kev had lent him soon at the green alien's side. "And now, I go." The Serviceman stated rather casually, fixing his tie and hat while dusting off any large patches of dirt. "It was good, Kev. We had a great time together. Didn't you think we had a great time together? Of course you did. You will put that on the evaluation form. Don't have one? Here."

    There was a slight ripping sound and Zurg stuck the sticky end of the paper onto Kev's forehead. "Make sure it's positive. I can't let this little slip-up dampen my good progress. Oh, and Kev?" The Serviceman planted a solid foot onto the little alien's tiny chest and he pressed. Get the picture now, Kev? "You say one word out of line to blow my cover in this and I'll, sadly, put your little sheep into meat pies. You wouldn't want poor little Suzy, Felicia, Glen, Mary, Bessie, Lula, and Lavender to become sweet treats, do you? Of course you don't. Fill out the form with positive sentences, or the sheep get it." Finished threatening, the purple alien chuckled and was off, his things already collected. And no further than ten feet away, Zurg said one last thing to the little alien. "Don't forget to use the fertilizer once a week, Kev~! Ta ta~!"

    Ohhhhhh, yes... It felt good to be cruel, baby. And speaking of cruel... there was someone that required a little visit from Evil.


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    Re: What's this About the Fluffy Ones?

    Post by Kev on Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:06 am

    Well Tulsit, Kev kept right on digging himself into a deeper hole! LOVECHILD. Kev you DOLT BRAINED IDIOT. That only served to make Zurg angrier, and he brought back the metal thing and brought it down and Kev winced-but after a few brief seconds, opened his eyes back up and felt relieved that the metal thing wasn't anywhere INSIDE his body.

    Zurg leaned close and Kev tried to pull back, frightened of this alien he considered a friend. He mentioned to Zurg before that he had fully expected to be killed by him one day, but expecting it and having the possibility look you right in the face....it was two different things entirely. The first was partly in jest, friendly, playful. But now....with Zurg glaring at him, looking so...so....OFF, and with a weapon that he had promised to hurt him with....this was ten times worse than being killed by Mr. Dark. Screw pain, screw decomposing and rotting, having a friend go crazy on you and the minutes passing by as you waited for him to stab you...THAT was REAL terror.

    Zurg's rant made him terrified for the safety of 'Bob' too, what was he going to do to her..? What had SHE done to HIM to make him do...THIS?! Zurg's hand carressed his face and made him look straight into Zurg's eyes and Kev whimpered, shaking. Now...now...what was going to happen now?! Death, torture?! Waiting for the answer made him quiver. Thankfully though, Zurg was standing up...he was...leaving..Kev stayed in that spot in the ground, looking up at the stronger alien, still fearful of what may happen.

    "Yes, yes, we had a great time, the best time! I'll put it on the form, I will!" The form was applied to his head and Kev didn't dare to move it. He wasn't done though and Kev groaned as he put his foot on his chest, pressing down HARD. He couldn't even answer coherently without whimpering or stammering, so he just nodded. Zurg began to leave.....with one last word of parting, to use the fertilizer....as soon as Zurg was gone, Kev finally moved, and curled up into a ball, sniffling and shaking. And only one thought kept racing through his mind.

    Oh Gods .....what have I DONE.

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