Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Agents K and J on Sun Feb 27, 2011 3:49 am

    "Oooh, ow!" J made a face and pretended to shake his hand, putting a finger in his mouth to suckle. "This one's got a little sugar, spice, and everything nice. Mm, mm!" But a friend of an evil despot meant she was an accomplice in something, he just knew it. Why would a mechanic like her, who is hard-working and otherwise normal in all sense of the word, be with this bozo? How and why...?

    What sparked K's interest was that Miss Pistonne was quick to come to the evil emperor's aid, and he was already drawing startling conclusions. "So a willing visitation for three weeks is what you're saying." He kept his eyes glued to the evil emperor. "She must be pretty important in your regards if you, yourself, asked her to join your company for three weeks time. I hope she notified her shop employees of her sudden absence." Yes, he had known about Proxy and a Mr. Zeb Brooks. Likewise, Miss Pistonne must have held the evil emperor in high regards, herself. This was following a pattern.

    "I suppose that remains, then." Agent K looked between Miss Pistonne and the glowering alien. "While you didn't break the law in this sense, what is your relation with each other. I'd like to know, personally, in case either of you try to take over Portal Breach."

    A curve ball of a question.

    "Heh, yeah. If he can get a woman, I can get a woman. I want to know your secret, your Imminence. As well as how you got your royal title." J was just going to make the alien miserable as much as he could.
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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Zurg on Sun Feb 27, 2011 3:57 am

    Hmph!

    "Of course it was willing." The Evil Emperor snorted loudly. "Just because I am evil doesn't mean I don't have standards. I follow a set of rules, you know; family standards, even. I asked Jo if she'd like to spend some time with me and she did. Hence, why she is here. Gentlemen." He concluded in a low growl as he flared his eyes towards J and thought about setting something of his on fire. Maybe his pants, or that tie. Something! The human was bothering Jo!

    Agent K's question did come at a sneak curve, but it wasn't something Zurg would let show that it bothered him. It was an old curve by now, anyway. "Jo is very important to me; she's my friend." A humble statement. "And yes, Jo did notify her employees. She's not ungrateful. Unlike some people." Again, Agent J was in his sights and that idea to set something on fire was growing. "And you already know our relation. Friends. I've stated this three times already, if you were paying attention." Zurg could play semantics all day if he had to. He was an Evil Emperor! He knew the ropes of politics and rhetoric very well.

    And speaking of his title...

    "If you are thinking of a human emperor, then you are, sadly, mistaken." One of his many irks was that people compared his title of emperor to that of a lowly human structure; it was far from it. "I was given my title through my father and he, through elections. It is legitimate as me serving my punishment. Are we done? This is clearly getting nowhere, and I'm a busy man."

    The Evil Emperor didn't have all day to chat with these suits.


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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sun Feb 27, 2011 4:11 am

    If looks could kill, Jo's would be killing J right now. What the crater-flipping-viper was he even talking about? Jo didn't know that expression but she sure got the look and tone. This man was a womanizer, but his charm wouldn't work on her.

    "Of course I notified them," she said quickly, wondering whether they'd visited her shop on their way here. She hadn't spoken to Proxy yet and she knew timezones were different between the two planets, but she trusted Proxy to have let her known about these two suits visiting. "I even gave them a number to contact me in case of emergencies." As if she would leave them just like that. How deluded these two must be.

    And their next words only confirmed her suspicions. She burst out laughing, clutching her stomach. "Me, take over Portal Breach? Don't make me laugh! No wait, you just did!" She laughed again, but simply remained grinning after her laughter had died down. "Oh, you two're tickling my funny bone. Say something else! I could use a good laugh."

    What J said next was not amusing, however, and Jo shot him another death glare. She waited for Zurg to finish speaking before putting in her own unibuck, however. "We're friends," she agreed, following his lead. "He invited me over, I came. End of story. If you want dirt, look elsewhere. I've heard there's this witch down on Portal Breach who takes great pleasure in pain. You might want to look her up."

    Jo had personally had enough of their intrusive questions and would love nothing else than for them to just get off the planet and leave them alone.
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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Agents K and J on Sun Feb 27, 2011 4:42 am

    And now she was laughing. Laughing with the same tone the evil emperor had used. Definitely a connection, and the Agents weren't going to take friends as an excuse. Agents K and J were friends, and they had their separate moments. For instance, J would just love to visit K on vacation and show the man how to live whereas K would silently count down the days until J left. Classic love-hate friendship.

    But this? This wasn't friendship.

    "You came, alright." J couldn't resist. "But you two ain't no friends."

    It was K's turn to step up and when K stepped out, there was no backing down. He was pretty adamant. "You're closer than friends. Much closer." He pointed out, hot on the trail. "If I had to take a guess, you two are both xenophiles. There's no reason to have a mechanic here; you've got plenty. And seeing as how you never had a friend over before since you parted ways with our Chief, more or less a human female, this can only mean one thing." He was going to drive this one home.

    "You two are involved."

    J was just trying to see how a barbecue grill for a mouth was appealing. He just didn't see it!
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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Zurg on Sun Feb 27, 2011 5:15 am

    That did it. He was done, and he was done now.

    "This is considered harassment, and I do not appreciate it." What Zurg should have done was blast these two suits into soot, but then Red would get on his case. The only reason why he hadn't blasted these two goons was because of Red -- the demon should feel proud! But even someone as great and mighty as the Evil Emperor had a limit to his patience. Knowing Jo's past with a certain branch of religion, he did not take kindly to the both of them being labeled xenophiles. "You were sent here to check-up on me, and as you can see, everything is in order. You have what you came here for, so now I ask that you leave. Immediately."

    Hornets heard the cue, the agitation in his voice, and surrounded the Agents. And if they so much as dared to challenge his hospitality, a good zap from his Zurgatronic Ion Cannon would settle the score.

    The boys better fold their hands and leave; Zurg was a terrible bluffer when angered.


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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sun Feb 27, 2011 5:27 am

    J's comment did it long before K's. Jo had half a mind to give J a piece of her mind, but held her ground, grating her teeth together. Because that comment? That wasn't just rude, it was insensitive and demeaning. And she didn't care whether they were officers or members of the law, but she wouldn't stand for someone speaking to her or Zurg like that. She didn't care for K calling them xenophiles either, like they were objects and not people. That particular word stung for her and reopened old wounds, wounds she'd rather bury again than bring back to the fore.

    "I suggest you do what Zurg says and leave," she added, eyes narrowed. She would let Zurg handle this one, though she was itching to grab her wrench.
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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Agents K and J on Sun Feb 27, 2011 5:47 am

    Being told once was good enough for K, but J was a little slow on getting the overall message.

    "And do what?" Agent J stubbornly just wasn't going to be beat into submission. Hey, he's handled worse before. Bugs were plenty worse! "Our ride's busted, and we ain't go no other alternate to get off this dump of a planet! What do you want us to do about that!?"

    Ugh, this time K did slap his face, but it was cleverly disguised as rubbing his forehead.
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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Zurg on Sun Feb 27, 2011 6:10 am

    Dump... of a planet!? Did he JUST insult Planet Z itself!?

    The look the Evil Emperor Zurg gave Agent J was so intense, that somewhere somehow... hundreds of babies were crying. Just because he had this look of a thousand suns imploding at once. That's how intense it was. Agent J should really be ashamed at himself. This wasn't a look you wanted from an evil despot with legions of robotic robots and stockpiles of dangerous, futuristic weaponry.

    "So, think my home is a dump, do you? A regular pig sty, hmm? Well, why don't I let you see the more ritzier side to Planet Z~!" Even though you see that tilde, don't be fooled: Zurg was officially royally pissed.

    Without any word, the Evil Emperor latched his cruel claws onto Agent J's nice suit (nice to see a fellow man who ironed) and he carted him off. Off towards the monogrammed Z in the middle of the Throne Room before his throne.

    "THINK MY HOME A DUMP, DO YOU!?" He repeated again, this time with a dual-toned scream. "I'LL SHOW YOU A DUMP, AGENT J!" And to heighten the dramatic shift of gears, the Evil Emperor hefted the poor man over the giant monogram, except it wasn't a monogram! It was none other than a gaping abyss, a trap door to a black doom! DOOM! And if Agent K would try to assist his friend, well. Zurg had a move for that, too.

    "HORNETS!" Zurg barked, snapping his head to the robots. "Apprehend Agent K! I want to make sure he enjoys watching his partner plunge to his death. A thousand feet below, ahahahaha!" He finished on a note of crazed laughter, giving Agent J a most wicked grin.

    Nope. Zurg was no longer going to think about Red's sake in this. This... was war.
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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sun Feb 27, 2011 6:48 am

    "You got him mad," Jo noted, her expression almost smug. "You won't like him when he's mad."

    She had to admit, she enjoyed seeing J dangle over a pit of bottomless death, his life in imminent danger and K helpless to do a thing, but there were limits. The agents had way passed their limits, but Zurg was quickly approaching his own. She knew he'd regret it later. Probably not now and probably not later in the imminent future, but much later.

    "Big Z," Jo began, not in a patronizing voice, but a soothing one. "I don't think that will be necessary. I'm sure the poor man's had enough excitement for one day. Sure, giving him a spin would probably be loads of fun, but let's be the mature ones in this case. Put him down--on the floor, not down the shaft--and let's end it all here. They can go home, and we can go on with our lives."

    She looked around the room, hands clasped behind her back. "I think that sounds like a good idea. What about you guys?"

    (( I'm going to head off to bed. Night! ))
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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Agents K and J on Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:28 pm

    J had said a lot of things, but apparently his last snark had taken the evil, purple cake. "Hey! HEY!" He squirmed and writhed in the alien's armored hand and broke a sweat when the tyrant dangled him over a pit. A pit! A bottomless pit! And did he say a thousand feet!? "H-Hey, now." Agent J gave a shaky smile, sweat sliding down his cheek. "Y'all don't want to harm a poor black man, do you? I-I mean, we're all good, right? Didn't mean the barbecue grill face and planet comment, you know?" Oh god. That look in the alien's cooky eye.

    "KAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

    Sigh.

    Even before Agent K could come to his partner's rescue the robots were already upon him, and K (for once) grit his teeth. "Put him down." He demanded, but tastefully. "You don't want an officer of the law's blood on your hands, and I don't want to turn this into a bloodbath. We can all just calmly and slowly settle down."

    "How can you say that, K!? He's going to DROP ME." Not one of Agent J's prideful moments, but when a man's life was on the line a man's life was on the line! K better have a trick up his sleeve if nothing worked! This alien was batshit crazy!
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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Zurg on Sun Feb 27, 2011 11:04 pm

    Fair, fair Jo. Always the better to his worse. That's why he loved her so~! You all can go suck a flaming pike, you shippers.

    "Very well, very well..." The Evil Emperor listened to Jo's mature reasoning and dragged the young man away, but not before he trust Agent J's face before his with barely an inch of room. "If I ever hear another comment about you insulting either Jo or my planet, I will eviscerate you with my bare hands. I do hope I've made myself clear. RELEASE AGENT K!" He barked shrilly. Agent J was probably suffering from ringing ears.

    The Hornets released K without question and both Agents were thus free men, the Evil Emperor's forces retreated but just enough to keep their weapons obvious.

    "If you need a transport then one shall be granted temporarily to you." Zurg wasn't always untolrable, see? "Since you so nicely decided to create a new landing strip right outside my home, consider this a token of my good will. I'll fix your little automobile and ship it back, but that's only IF you cease harassing me and let me be. This is my planet, and as the sole sovereign ruler respect my authority over it. If you can do that, we're golden~!"

    Always the businessman. And this businessman took his place confidently near Jo's side and snorted. "Consider this my recently-developed lesser bad guy discount. I'm working on a few policies."


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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Mon Feb 28, 2011 12:09 am

    "I'd suggest you do as he says," Jo advised, still smiling sweetly (and rather smugly). "You don't want him to reconsider being so merciful." She was glad Zurg had listened to reason, though she probably wouldn't have minded too much if he'd given J a little more of a scare.

    But she was pleased to hear about some policy changes. "You are?" She smiled up at him proudly, putting an arm around his waist. "That's my Big Z~! Always the mature one."

    She hoped the agents would finally take a hint and take a hike. Preferably not on Planet Z.
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    Re: Long Overdue [Tag: Those necessary]

    Post by Agents K and J on Mon Feb 28, 2011 12:56 am

    Well, at least the evil emperor let go of J. At this trade-off K eased himself and he kept his stance firm. So long as J was okay. "Thank you. That's all we ask. Let's go, Slick." They didn't need to hound them any longer. Their mission had concluded.

    J didn't bother to talk back at this point - he was too afraid of being tossed again. "R-Right. Thanks." He gulped.

    Guess the Agents learned not to overstay their welcome.

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