Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

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    Zurg
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Zurg on Sun Jan 23, 2011 4:26 am

    And a mess was right.

    Something, or some things, made an awful racket in the backroom. The clashing sound of tools and scrap produced a cacophony of noise and shortly the scuttling of feet could be heard. It was like hearing giant mice in Jo's shop! The culprits were soon discovered, however, as large insectoids covered in a dirty red-and-blue jumpsuit hopped up and down in front of the mechanic.

    "Do you mean us, Oh Woman who Beats with Wrench?" They asked in unison, their voices creaky and wet.

    Grubs, the stinky little labour force behind Zurg's evil. They had no names, only unit numbers, and together they could achieve a brief collective mentality when in close range. But, unlike Star Command's LGMs, they had far more personality and these two were loaded with it. As well as dirt and grime all over them.

    They both snapped a proud salute in unison, grinning to show off their filthy teeth. "Evil Emperor Zurg entrusted us with you, your Loveliness!" One squeaked.

    "Your Loveliness?" The other asked, momentarily confused while rubbing its grubby chin. "Huh, should we mention what His Evilness calls her when she's not around? I don't think he'd like that..."

    "Oh, right. Uh-huh."

    Nodding, they again brought their big, opaque eyes to Jo and then Lawrence. "Is he the robot we are to modify?" They pointed curiously. "He kinda looks fat."
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sun Jan 23, 2011 4:45 am

    "So a Quantum Actuator's something that robots have installed by chance, huh?" That was interesting. Certainly something to look into. If Jo could figure out how to make one, that might solve a lot of problems. Zurg had mentioned he'd been hoping for Lawrence to be able to use the Chronoscepter during the raid.

    There was suddenly a crash outside, causing Jo to jump. "What in the cosmos....?" But before she could step outside to investigate, the two culprits sprang into the room, saluting with wide, cheeky grins on their faces: Zurg's grubs. And they'd obviously been up to something. Probably the storage room. Blast it.

    "Didn't I tell you two not too--wait." She frowned. "Did you just call me--oh never mind." She'd probably misheard despite their momentary confusion. She reddened a bit, then shook her head. "No, we won't be modifying Lawrence. He's in peak condition and more than ready to participate in Zurg's raid."

    Oh wait. Maybe they knew about the Quantum Actuator. Probably not, but it was worth a shot.

    "If you boys want to help me, tell me if you know anything about a Quantum Actuator," she said, putting her hands on her hips. She wasn't usually firm like this with them, but these particular grubs had been giving her grief all morning. She couldn't help but be a little firm with them. Oh, all the cleaning she'd have to do once they left. She hated cleaning!
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Lawrence on Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:03 pm

    Lawrence just sort of stared at the Grubs when they appeared. Those huge eyes they had reminded him of the Zoni a bit, but his sensors could pick up just how dirty the little bugs were from where he was standing. It took most of his willpower to keep from immediately going for his feather duster and trying to clean them and everywhere they'd been. It was one thing for Jo to have some grease on her in spots, she was a mechanic in the middle of her work day. The Grubs just struck him as too lazy to clean themselves. And they had to insult him too? How rude. "I am not fat, this is just how I was designed."

    After the initial shock had passed, the butler looked to Jo again, but not without shooting a contemptuous glance at the Grubs. "These filthy 'things' are some of Zurg's minions? I hope I haven't misjudged him. And no, they will not be modifying me . . . though if you really need their help, they will wash up first. I don't care how skilled they may be, dirty hands and delicate electronics do not mix."

    Ugh, just the thought of those bugs with their filthy paws inside of one of his access panels made him have to suppress a shudder.
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Zurg on Sun Jan 23, 2011 7:38 pm

    Peak performance? Really? That fat roly-poly? The grubs rubbed their chins again, eying Lawrence up and down with comical gazes. Well, guess they could work with him and since their host was getting edgy...

    "Her Beautifulness is displeased!" They groveled and tried to kiss her feet, bowing up and down and fanning their arms. Thankfully they stopped when hearing this 'Quantum Actuator' and the minions stood up, rubbing their noggins quizzically.

    "What's a Quantum Actuator?"

    "Can we eat it?"

    Oh, Lawrence was going to just love them.

    Apparently the grubs had just gotten the memo and both of their faces lit up in revelation. "Ooooh! So that's what His Evilness wanted us to do! Huh. We need to see the robot, please." They didn't wait for permission and climbed up the table's side in a body chain before rolling atop the surface and finding the schematics.

    "Ooooh!"

    "Ahhhh!"

    The grubs whistled, whispering to themselves and tapping it like they knew what they were doing. "Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. No. That won't work. He's too fat." These were more or less the comments both hushed amongst themselves. When they were ready, which was thankfully in a few minutes time, they turned around with a corner of the schematics in both of their hands.

    "This Quantum Actuator is very advanced." One said, shaking their head while pointing to here, here, and here.

    "Yeah, too advanced to do in an hour's time."

    "A day, maybe two."

    Now, where had they said that before?


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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Mon Jan 24, 2011 1:43 am

    Oh cosmos, they were actually kissing her feet. What. Thankfully, they stopped before she got the chance to stop them herself and pondered her question, grubby little faces twisted in concentration. And after bumbling about for a while, they finally gave some promising information. Somewhat.

    "So you can build this Quantum Actuator for Lawrence?" Jo frowned. "Are you two sure about that?" She knew the grubs were knowledgeable, but.... she couldn't help but picture them trying to stuff a donut or two inside of Lawrence and claim that was the Quantum Actuator. And two days? Jo did recall Zurg saying that his staff was unbelievably lazy.... she suddenly got an idea. A pretty evil idea.

    Smirking to herself, she put her hands on her hips, but for the grubs she assumed a scowl. "Are you miserable lackwits that confounded?! Don't you know we're on a schedule?! I want you two to make this Quantum Actuator in ten minutes tops and I don't want to hear any buts! Or else you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna have Zurg feed you to Coco! How do you like them bunzels, huh?"
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Lawrence on Mon Jan 24, 2011 7:11 pm

    Forget the feather duster, Lawrence was considering getting his Plasma Striker out and chasing the Grubs around the room with it. The nerve of those two, just looking at his schematics without asking . . . those were something to be kept between a robot and his mechanic!

    The Grubs saying they could build what he needed took some of the edge off his irritation, but it would take two days? He didn't have time to wait around here, there was a raid in the morning that Zurg wanted him to participate in.

    And that's when Jo took off on a 'you're doing this now, or this is what I'm going to do to you if you fail me' rant worthy of Nefarious himself. She was faking it of course, his sensors told him that her various readings weren't high enough for her to be truly angry, but he was still pretty impressed. A woman who was good with a wrench and knew how to order lesser minions around? Lawrence wouldn't say he was in love, but he was very glad he'd taken Zurg's advice to come here.
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Zurg on Tue Jan 25, 2011 6:26 pm

    "Nnnngh! Nnnnnnnngh!" The grubs made little squeals, wildly flailing their twiggy arms to shield their faces. "Her Lady Evilness is angry! Doom, doom, DOOM!" Naturally the grubs ran around in circles upon the table, shouting their cries to be spared and yelps of wishing to avoid the Evil Bowling roster. Like the cowards they were the minions finished their hysteria and slumped onto their knees, bowing frantically.

    "Please, oh Terrible Woman! Don't feed us to Coco!"

    "Yeah, anything but Coco!"

    They pleaded and begged with their little wet cries. They could do it in ten minutes! They could! As proof, they were going to do it right now! "We'll make it in ten! Ten tops! Be right back!" The grubs hopped off the table with schematics in hand and scampered to the back room to work.

    Needless to say, with all the commotion they were causing back there Jo should be worried and justly so. Who knew what evils the grubs were creating just so they could live another minute!


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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Tue Jan 25, 2011 11:22 pm

    "There! That sorted them out!" She dusted her hands on her pants legs proudly, then rolled up the schematics, handing them over to Lawrence. "Better keep an eye on these. I've got records of the scans in my database, just in case you ever need something in the future."

    She felt a little bad at duping the grubs like that, but she knew they were slackers and that it would have been the only way to get them to actually do anything. Granted, she doubted the quality of something made in ten minutes, but she'd oversee what they'd made in that time. At least to see whether it was in working order. It wouldn't do to install something potentially hazardous into Lawrence.
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Lawrence on Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:29 am

    Lawrence took the copy of his schematics and placed them into his internal storage. "Thank you, and I know I'll probably be back here again . . . I don't really expect to return from that raid entirely undamaged."

    There was a bit of a pause, though it wasn't a silent one thanks to all the racket the Grubs were making in the back room. The butler smirked a bit as he listened to them work. "Heh, you certainly inspired them to get moving. I could tell you didn't really mean it thanks to my sensors, but still, that was expertly handled."
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Zurg on Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:47 pm

    Soon, as in ten-minutes-soon, the grubs came out huffing and puffing, their little chests heaving raggedly. "We finished the thingy, oh Her Evilness!" They cried out with a wipe of their exoskeleton brow. Carefully and quickly, they held up their ingenious improvisation to Jo and Lawrence proudly.

    The Quantum Actuator for the cheap lackey on the go.

    "Ta-da! Pretty neat, huh?"

    When you work with lemons...


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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Lawrence on Wed Jan 26, 2011 10:24 pm

    Usually he had a better handle on his temper but this latest occurrence made Lawrence see red. The Chronoscepter went back into his internal storage with a flicker of blue light, and was soon replaced with his Plasma Striker. This, he aimed at the Grubs, having every intention to fire, though he wouldn't if Jo stopped him. Miraculously enough his voice did stay fairly level, but you know what they say about the quiet ones . . . "You . . . How DARE you. I came here hoping to solve my problem, because Zurg and those associated with him seem to have the highest level of technology in this place, and you present me with THIS?! Not only are you displaying your total incompetence, this is a bloody insult!"

    He paused for a moment, took a steadying breath even though as a robot he didn't really need to, then continued. "Now, you are going to do your jobs properly, or you're going to be wishing she had Zurg feed you to Coco . . ."
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Wed Jan 26, 2011 11:47 pm

    "Oh, well, that'd be great! For me, not so much for you," Jo added with a small chuckle. "And yeah, I don't usually act upon my threats but I sure can bluff when I have to."

    The grubs returned in ten minutes, just like they'd promised. Of course, the Quantum Actuator wasn't quite what.... Jo had been aiming for. "Oh, craters," she lamented, slapping her face. Those grubs sure were trouble with capital T.

    Lawrence wasn't impressed either. Impressed would be an understatement. He was downright livid, even going so far as to point a gun at them. "Easy, Lawrence." Jo placed a hand upon the gun and lowered the nozzle away from the grubs. "They probably don't know any better."

    She eyed the grubs in turn, scowling. "If you had no idea what it was how to make it, why the cosmos didn't you say so?!" Sure, Jo sometimes employed bubblegum on a few things here and there, but she didn't just use shoes and tape. Even though tape and bubblegum sure solved a lot of problems....
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Lawrence on Thu Jan 27, 2011 8:44 pm

    Jo intervened, and it was almost like a switch had been pressed. Lawrence blinked once, then twice. "I-- what in Solana am I doing? My apologies, I normally have much better control than this . . ."

    His gun disappeared again, and the butler still seemed pretty shocked by his own actions. "I'm not sure what came over me, I'm not programmed for that sort of behavior. I suppose I could have picked up a few things from Dr. Nefarious, but that's no excuse." He closed his optics and ran one hand over them for a moment, sighing. "I've never been without a master for this long, perhaps it's doing something to my mental state."

    It didn't take Lawrence much longer to calm down completely, he opened his optics again and looked to Jo. "Well, if those two haven't the foggiest idea of what they need to build, I suppose we're back at square one. I don't see how it could be that hard to build, if the Zoni gave that knowledge to that oaf Sigmund . . ." He trailed off, having suddenly gotten an idea.

    Another flicker of blue light, and Lawrence had his schematics in hand again, unrolling them and looking them over. "Wait a moment, the Zoni . . . why didn't I think of this before? The Zoni had a hand in my reconstruction; there's a possibility they may have installed a Quantum Actuator in my systems already, as sort of a contingency plan. With the way they viewed the timestream, I'm sure they could have seen timelines where both of the Great Clock's caretakers were destroyed. Knowing them, they would make sure I was unaware of the Actuator's existence until they actually needed me. Jo, was there anything on these scans that looked inactive or otherwise not receiving power?"
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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Zurg on Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:09 pm

    "But we do know how to make it!" They squeaked, cowering before the barrel of Lawrence's weapon. "Shiny gun. Big ammo. Not sure if we'd last even one shot!"

    Thankfully the fussy robot put their gun away and the grubs could settle down, but not by much. They were still shaking in their booties, knees whacking against each other. So, snotty robot didn't like their improv, did it? Figures. They had calculated a 64.444% rate of irritation.

    "We don't know about any Zoni..." One rubbed its chin.

    "But we do know that His Evilness is skilled in time alterations." The other added.

    Together, they whispered to themselves and nodded their heads, antenna bobbing up and down. "We'll make this Quantum Actuator, but it won't be exactly how it is from the robot's galaxy. We'll need to see any hidden parts not picked up in the initial scan along with some decent tools and metals. Give us another ten minutes. We're a little rusty on our maths."

    At best they could make some kind of shielding... anything but a shot to the face!


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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Fri Jan 28, 2011 12:58 am

    Jo didn't know just how far Lawrence could go, but Proxy could come down and help if things started to go to a black hole. Luckily, Lawrence got a hold on himself and retreated. "It's alright, Lawrence. Just try to relax," she reassured him.

    She nodded to the grubs, then took the schematics from the robot and spread them out on the worktable again. The grubs would probably crawl up on the bench to get a better look, but Jo didn't care about that now. "There was something I noticed in the schematics before," Jo admitted.

    "Here." She pointed to a spot somewhere around the general area of Lawrence's lower half. "This spot showed up as a complete blank in the scan, right underneath your compartment. I'm not sure what it could mean, but I assumed that it was an unknown component or metal of sorts that my scanner couldn't pick up."

    She looked down at the grubs. "Think this could be it, boys?"


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    Re: Here for a diagnostic scan . . .

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