Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Something smells like... BUSINESS!

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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Tue Jan 11, 2011 1:48 am

    "Purple? Don't be ridiculous, Jo!" Zurg rolled his eyes, pretending to shake a finger at her. "Just because I'm purple doesn't mean I shed purple! It's actually white... like snow. Disgusting, really. Thick, white clumps of skin snow..." Not that any of them needed to know that. Besides, Zurg was rather good about keeping himself clean! Thanks to Proxy's grooming kit, of course. "I love that grooming kit, by the way." He elbowed the robot before taking the handle of his broom and knocking it slyly upon Proxy's head.

    He stepped out of the dust ring Proxy had bestowed upon him and the Evil Emperor gave his hem a good shake before watching Jo dirty the place even more. "Jo! Who taught you how to clean?! Here!" Zurg took the feather duster from her, but politely, and shooed her away. "If you want to clean dust you must start top to bottom! Like so." He playfully dusted Jo's face before reaching up and dusting anything that struck him as the highest.

    "What's in this room, anyway?" Zurg was curious since he hardly ever came down here. What did Jo store? What did he store? And who created all this dust!?


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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Tue Jan 11, 2011 3:00 am

    White like snow? Now there was a thought. "I'd have thought lilac, but white's nice too! Like dandruff, only fluffier!" Jo said, still cleaing but not really cleaning.

    Bop! What was it with Zurg hitting the robot all the time? "I'm so glad you enjoyed it," Proxy echoed dully before going back to sweeping, this time properly.

    Jo giggled, but watched him work. "This room? How should I know? It's the room you added when we first made the place, remember? It's got evil levers and trapdoors, so I kept it locked at all times." But it was funny. How had all this dust formed anyway?
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Tue Jan 11, 2011 3:20 am

    "Evil levers and trapdoors..." Zurg found himself appearing lost, rubbing a cheek with a wayward hand. Did he really outfit this room? Really? Well, it certainly fit the evil basement scenario and this was were they had outfitted Barry. Guess he really did put the bells and whistles.

    "In that case... Proxy, don't touch anything. You too, Jo. I don't trust myself to not put a few deadly traps for curious heroes." The Evil Emperor muttered, scratching his head as he stared at a peculiar lever in question.

    Odd...


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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Tue Jan 11, 2011 3:49 am

    "Don't have to warn me twice," Jo agreed, taking the feather duster back from Zurg, bumping her but against his in the process (you can decide whether it was on purpose or not, readers) and getting back down to cleaning again.

    All in all, it took up a good portion of a half-hour to clean. Jo had nipped away momentarily to check on her machines and to transfer the melted liquid metal into the molds. During this time Proxy somehow found a lever. Suffice to say, he had nearly been fried in an electromagnetic field, but they'd managed to switch it off in the end without Proxy suffering any damage.

    "I think we're done here, boys!" Jo looked around the room, now spotless and immaculate. "Looks like our break's over."

    "I think I shall return to my counting," Proxy agreed, putting the cleaning utensils back away in the hall closet. "Until next time, Zurg-Emperor," he said politely, before departing.

    "I think Proxy's beginning to like you!" Jo smiled, happy for once that everything was going right. Heh, if only she knew. She turned back to Zurg. "Ready to see if the metal's finally formed?"
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Tue Jan 11, 2011 4:01 am

    The cleaning was a relatively peaceful time, but the electromagnetic field nearly gave Zurg a heart attack when he scrambled like mad to turn it off. Darn Proxy! Did he not understand that the Evil Emperor fitted this room!? Never touch anything by a person with EVIL in their title! Ugh, newbies.

    "I hope we're done." Zurg grumbled, snapping his back with a crack. They had spent a good half hour cleaning and never before did he hate dust until today. This wasn't his skin! Why was he cleaning it!? "Some break... I didn't even relax! And later, Proxy. Call me if you ever need help~!" The Evil Emperor wiggled his pinkie and thumb like a phone near a side of his head. Oh, that robot totally hated him. He could see it in Proxy's eyes. Er, eye. Mission success, ahahaha!

    Oh, Jo was talking to him. "I thought you'd never ask." He was so relieved to toss away that broom that he pushed Jo, both hands upon her back, out of the room of Evil Intentions. Please, for the love of bunzel muffins, no more cleaning! No more! PLEEEASE!


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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Tue Jan 11, 2011 4:32 am

    And indeed, when they'd entered the room, a red light was flashing on one of the machines. "Alright, it's done!"

    Jo eagerly moved forwards and pulled on the same gloves again, drawing the plaque out. The machine had automatically switched off to prevent any damage coming to the metal. Jo took a small wire-like implement from the machine and pried open the molds. They came off easily, and the silver metal gleamed, ready for use.

    "Tadaaa!" she announced, lugging the plaque to her workbench. With her gloves still on, she removed the pieces of metal. They were dull, because she handed sanded them down to work out the bumps and edges yet, but it was definitely ready. "Usually, I work on other things while I wait for the molds to do their thing, but today was different. Had to do something to occupy your boredom!" She bumped hips with him again, grinning.

    "Now you can help me sand the pieces down, if you want. Then we'll paint them, and then we'll add them to the skeleton!"
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:38 am

    "Oh, just like that! Huh, sort of like baking bunzel muffins." What? Did he just compare her work to cooking? And now he was hungry. Terrific. Zurg shoved the thought aside and stepped out of Jo's way so as not to impede her work. The man was equally troubled when she bumped hips with him while mentioning sandpaper. Ouch.

    "I wasn't bored!" He huffed, folding his arms over his chest. "I was simply... Okay, yes. I was bored." Zurg rolled his eyes with a sigh. "But not because I'm with you! No, no." He smiled while picking up a piece of sandpaper and feeling the texture. "I'm actually having fun! Never really explored blacksmithing, or whatever this is. Say, this feels pretty good!"

    With the sandpaper in hand, Zurg had somehow managed to scratch the back of his neck with it, apparently getting an itch he couldn't scratch himself. "They should make brushes with these... You soft-skins ruin the market, I tell you. Ruin it!"


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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:41 am

    Jo giggled and shook her head, grabbing one of the sandpaper pieces and rubbing down the edges of one of the metal plates to make them smooth. She'd be bored with all the technicalities Zurg had to get up to on Planet Z too, but not because of the company.

    "It is a form of blacksmithing, yeah. Normally, I'd have suppliers processing these raw materials for me. But with private commissions, I end up doing everything. It's not too bad. I like what I do."

    She didn't even bother looking at him as she kept smoothing out all the small bumps. "That's for the metal, not for your skin. I can look for a harsh-toothed back scrubber at the supermarket later for you." But she smiled to herself, finding his fascination with simple things kind of cute.
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Thu Jan 13, 2011 11:10 pm

    "Well, at least you like what you do. Otherwise you'd be miserable, wasting away with a life you never wanted, and wont to pine away for things you'll never have until you're a lifeless, bitter husk of what you once were. Oh, well." He sighed, surprised momentarily as Jo took the sandpaper out of his hands. "At least you have your job~!" Realistic expectations: raining on people's parades since the dawn of rational thought. Zurg often considered him a pro at this. Went hand-in-hand by being a ruthless oppressor.

    He watched her sand out the imperfections and decided to try and mimic. He may be clumsy in speech, but his hands and feet were more than compensating. "Oh, that won't be necessary, Jo! I can buy my own beauty supplies! After all, with a face like this, I won't be needing much. Trust me." The Evil Emperor muttered sarcastically, sanding away on another piece.

    "I wonder if I can polish this to see my own reflection. An ego boost is due, I think!"
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Fri Jan 14, 2011 1:04 am

    "Do you like your job too, Big Z?" she asked curiously, working out the finer details in her plate now. She knew he enjoyed being a terror and causing mischief, but that didn't mean that if he'd been given other choices in life that he wouldn't be doing something else. Watch him have turned out to be a master weaver if he hadn't turned to evil!

    "But I like your face," Jo said with a little pout, scrubbing away. "Big teeth, eyes, horns, and all~" She felt sometimes like she showered him with too much praise and that an objective person listening in on them would find her constant gushing sappy, but she didn't particularly care. It didn't hurt to boost his ego every now and then, even if what she said was true. And speaking of egos....

    "Just scrub a bit harder and you might be able to. See?" She held up her own plate at him, showing him his reflection. "Immaculate, am I right or am I right?" She grinned.
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Jan 15, 2011 8:32 pm

    What? Did he like his job? Was the woman daft? The answer was painfully obvious! How could Jo be so dull at times!? Why, the answer was--

    "No, I don't like my job." Zurg replied back, sanding in a lovely Z because he didn't quite grasp the concept of smoothing out the rest of the imperfections. The only thing perfect was the letter Z! Oh, and sometimes Jo.

    No? What?

    "I mean, don't get me wrong." He began to explain, now bored of sanding and instead scrubbing his face again. "I like being evil and I like causing mayhem, but all that isn't fulfilling, you know? It's great for eight out of twenty-four hours out of the day, seven times a week, but it's hardly what keeps one going in life. And, sure, I have hobbies." Zurg gave a lackluster shrug. "But even hobbies can only do so much, and torturing people is hardly something to share with close friends. I wonder why people don't find screams as therapeutic as I do." Something to ask Proxy!

    "And I miss Lightyear..." Ah, Lightyear. Why did you ever leave him? Zurg wasn't complete without you! But he flicked that lone tear aside and perked up as Jo gave him an ego boost. Yes, ego boost! He needed one, you see. "Dohoho, Jo, you." He elbowed her playfully. "Stop buttering me up like a lobster! I don't want to look like Red and smell like alcohol." But he quit talking her ear off when she showed him the plate, his reflection staring back.

    Eh, right. Not something he was fond of seeing, but it was rather immaculate, as she had said.

    "Aha, so I... see." Zurg politely put a hand upon the metal and pressed down, hoping to get it out of his sights and look at the smiling mechanic. "But I don't need a reflection to show how much I'm appreciated." Ohhh, how cute. Fluffy talk! The Evil Emperor knew it too, the moment it escaped his mouth, and he took a step back and cupped a horn with a sigh.

    "Go on, say it." Secretly he was smiling inside, despite his scowl and eyes set in the opposite direction of Jo. "Go on, you know you want to."



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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:42 am

    "It seems like you like it sometimes, yeah." Jo shrugged, moving on to another plate. She was lucky she'd managed to do what she liked in life. She couldn't imagine doing something she hated. But then again, now that Zurg had assumed the title of Evil Emperor, he couldn't really change it. He was stuck with it, unable to do something else in his life because of the image he had to maintain. "And if you have fun sometimes, it just makes it worthwhile, right?"

    Jo didn't particularly like screaming therapeutic, but to each their own. But she thought of something, then smiled, drifting a bit closer to him. "What about my screams?" she asked slyly.

    "And if you want me to say it so much, I will," Jo grinned, laying her hand beneath his breastplate for a moment. "You're a great, big sap. But I don't mind! Sometimes, sap is good, don't you think~?"
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:09 am

    "Well, yes! Of course I like it! It's fun, has great perks, I can retire when I want, and the best thing of all!" He placed his hands upon his hips and threw back his shoulders confidently. "No one can stop me. I not only know the man, I AM the man." Although there was the matter of him being stuck with his title, but hey, it was still a very interesting and fulfilling life. Very solitary, however.

    What wasn't fun, however, was Jo's sudden turn to the dark side. It took him a while to get what she meant--a few seconds--but her advancement sealed the deal just fine. "Y-Your... screams?" Zurg gave a shaky chuckle, talking half a step back out of surprise. Wow, that came out of nowhere. Completely blindsided him! Why even his body temperature spiked, and that was abnormal! What to do!?

    And sap is... what!? The Evil Emperor Zurg, destroyer of worlds, conqueror of free people everywhere, THE blight of the Galactic Alliance... choke.

    "Uhhhhh...." Real smooth, champion of evil.


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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:25 am

    Jo chuckled, liking the effect she had on him. She put her plate and sandpaper down and turned to face him fully, her own hands on her hips. "Is that all you have to say? Really?" She smiled wryly, her eyes shining mischievously.

    Well, that meant she'd have to try a little harder, didn't it?

    She removed her gloves and took a step closer to him, standing on tiptoe to wrap her arms around his shoulders. "Want to try again?" She smiled up at him.
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:48 am

    Another try?

    "Well, isn't someone rather merciful today." Zurg didn't know what was worse: Jo suddenly in his face in less than a second (way to go, defense training), or the fact that, well, being a renegade was actually enticing. Should he play along, or shouldn't he. Decisions, decisions. It was suffice to say that he had recovered from his initial shock and was, for the lack of a better term, adapting. If anyone could push things past the envelope it was him, but was now the time and place? Even though Jo didn't hear her employees shuffling things upstairs he did, and that was fair indicator enough.

    "As much as I hate leaving business in the middle, I'm afraid... I'll need to save my game for later. That is, if the merciful one would spare me~! I'm sure I've got enough game tokens to, oh, play around with." And before she could remark, he wrapped his arms around her waist and took her close, embracing her. How did she always smell so lovely despite all the sweat and grease she worked with? She must tell him her secret! But, sadly, the moment came and went and he let her go with a silent sigh, taking his distance. "Sorry, Jo, I really need that device constructed. But... I wouldn't mind some other time, however. When Proxy isn't around to chase me with a double-barreled shotgun. I don't think you'll want me back riddled with holes!"

    Maybe some other time.

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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

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