Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Something smells like... BUSINESS!

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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Jan 08, 2011 4:28 am

    "Hah!" Jo drew a few bits and pieces towards her. "Just watch and learn, Big Z! Watch and learn...."

    First, by following the blueprints, Jo constructed the skeleton. She put on her gloves and heavy duty glasses for that, marking out the individual pieces into the sizes she'd need. She measured them with her measuring pen, using it as a sextant and a compass in one instance to make the circular dome that would go on top. After she was done with that, she used a large metal-cutter to fashion all the proper pieces. She gave Zurg some protective headgear to wear, putting a similar one on herself, before melding the pieces together with a laser beam welder. The entire process took about an hour, perhaps more. Jo never really kept the time when she was building things.

    "There!" She pulled the mask off. "Skeleton's done. What do you think so far?"
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Jan 08, 2011 4:48 am

    And that hour was so excruciating! Zurg was never good sitting still for too long, something about... overactive thinking and whatnot. He never listened to Dr. Animus finish. He had been too busy crying at the time and wanting to deep-fry Darkmatter.

    "Do you need... any... apparently not!" Zurg lowered his unsure finger and looked around. Wow, he finally felt like Proxy: the dedicated third wheel. Awkwaaaaard. Right. The Evil Emperor couldn't exactly strike up a conversation with a Hornet, as they were LAME, so he decided to have a look around while Jo worked. She didn't need him anyway; she was too lost in it. So, instead, Zurg tapped his hands together and roamed in the room, stopping by at anything that seemed interesting. He hadn't found much, to be honest, however. He found her old tools, some discarded scrap, and leftovers. And what were those odd machines? Itchy fingers.

    "Nnngh..." He clenched his eyes shut and rattled in place, fists held at his chest. Containment! This wasn't exactly meditation central, here! The floor was probably dirty and he just washed these robes! Thank the Cosmos Jo broke the silence and he clumsily took the mask. A mask, really. Oh, how cruel! He put it on with a little grumble, but security protocols were security protocols. He made Jo wear the protective gear when she visited so... this was justified. Sigh. Zurg couldn't see a thing in this! And the smell!

    Not wanting to appear bothered, Zurg made way to the forge and fiddled around with things. Of course, he knew better than to harm anything of Jo's so he resorted to finding some left over metal. Hmm. He briefly glanced over his shoulder to make sure Jo was busy before he wiggled his fingers and did his own crafting. A little twist there, a snap here, and ta-da! Zurg held up a little metal man. ....Of sorts. It was disfigured as he had to shape it with his strong hands, but it would do.

    "What is your name, mortal." He growled behind the mask threateningly, holding the metal man like a cruel god. "Speak! Your god commands it!"

    "I am but a lowly peasant, sir! Bixby is the name! Please, spare my life so that I may support my wife and ten children!" The metal man squeaked (for Zurg was a master ventriloquist). But the god would have none of it!

    "Fool! I will not tolerate your excessive breeding! To the fire with you!" The god hissed. Zurg slyly set the forge fire onto a low flame, but he wasn't satisfied, so he put it at medium radiance. Ah, a fitting furnace!

    "P-Please! Please, don't! DON'T!"

    "Silence!" The god hefted the man up high and tossed him in with a cackle. "BY FIRE BE PUUUURGED!"

    Fwoosh, the metal man was no more as he melted in the heat of the forge, Zurg cackling like a goon. Clearly he had found entertainment! Now, for more metal... he wanted to create the wife and ten children!

    "There! Skeleton's done. What do you think so far?"

    Jo's voice caught him totally off-guard and Zurg snapped his head up, and a little too fast. "Oof!" He banged the back of his head against the forge's ceiling causing the mask to come off and his hands fumbling to catch it as he turned quickly to Jo and feigned innocence. "It looks rather nice, Jo! I can't wait to see the finished product." A cookie cutter response if he's ever heard one, and he did his best to refrain from tending his injury.

    Ow!
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:02 am

    "Mmhmmm." Jo crossed her arms and smirked. "You weren't paying much attention. Don't think I'm that far lost in my own little world while I work! It just so happens that I can't exactly stop what I'm doing when I start it. Especially when I'm cutting or welding something...." She spied the forge and its slowly simmering fire, then eyed Zurg. "Got curious to see how it worked? Burning materials are expensive, you know."

    Well, this wouldn't do. Zurg was as fidgety as a child who was forced to go to a boring department store with their mother and dressed up in curtains to pass the time. Much to the mother's dismay and chagrin. "Do you want to go upstairs with Proxy? Or check out your old room? You don't have to stick around while I work if you're bored," she suggested, grabbing a slab of sandpaper and rubbing down the edges of the skeleton.
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:15 am

    And you better BELIEVE Zurg would have played in those curtains, even now! No shame to this game! An Evil Emperor did what he pleased! Except mess with Jo's things further. That... he could not do.

    "And I was... TOO... paying attention...?" Zurg's voice ended in a small squeak. Oh, bother! Foiled again. He realized Jo had noticed the still flaming forge and Zurg thought up of something super fast on the fly. Because that's what Evil Emperors did! "Jo!" He said dramatically. "I don't know how to tell you this, but your forge! It's possessed! There's no way I turned that on! Why, just LOOK at this thing! Knobs! Archaic!" He turned one with a gasp. "Tools of an unknown design! Old!" He paused to critically examine one with his eyes crossing. "And... and..." Zurg paused, stumped, at what appeared to be.. a billow? "...I don't even KNOW what this is, but it seems far more ancient than I! No, no, no." The Evil Emperor then fanned a hand with a smile, walking away from the scene of the crime. "I didn't touch your forge. But I know what did!" He quickly added.

    "It was a... a... polt-pult-po--hang on. I must." Zurg wiggled his teeth a bit. "Recall my Basic roots. This shall take but a moment." And a moment he took!

    "Aaaah, better!" He sighed in relief before dramatically pointing to the forge. "It was a POULTRYGUY*!" Dun dun duuun! "I know this! And why do I know this?" Zurg gave a chuckle. "From Red! Red knows all sorts of things about these... er, things! Yes. I really don't know what he talks about, to be honest." Here came the rambling. "I just stand at the side all cute and nod my head prettily~!" He patted the air dainty like as he did his galaxy-famous gestures. Never a dull moment with him. His antics fell, however, when Jo said he could go somewhere else.

    Well! "I know when I'm not wanted." Zurg huffed. "Like an orphan, you cast me out and hope I STARVE on the bleak, rain-ridden streets were the rats live! Yes, Jo, I know your foul games. Fine! I shall LEAVE you in your work, but don't come crawling back to me when you're lonely, because I won't come back! So evil, because I am evil! Yes! Right. Going now." The Evil Emperor waved his fingers at her and made off, only to get his shoulders stuck in the thin hall once again.

    "Craters..." This required proper turning and once he figured out the art, he managed to slide into the room Jo had mentioned and not a moment he stepped into it he let out the tiniest of whimpers and clutched his cape with big eyes.

    "I'm lonely...!" What a baby.

    (*poltergeist)
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:38 am

    Well, Jo wouldn't deny that the elaborate lie wasn't amusing. She wished he knew what he was talking about, though. Some ghost or other, she surmised, if he mentioned Red. He talked about all of those weird things. And Zurg just stood there and nodded prettily whenever Red went on and on about the supernatural! That sounded like what Jo did when people talked about vampires or ghosts or demons. She just couldn't summon enough attention to ever really get what they were talking about. And she laughed at that part, and couldn't help but keep grinning when he pulled the dramatic card. Casting him out! Jo was trying to do him a favor. Never mind that it looked like it was backfiring.

    She put down the sandpaper, fiddled with the knobs of the forge to adjust their heat for the next step. "No funny business from you guys," she warned the Hornets. Then, she followed Zurg out into the hallway. He'd left the door ajar to his workshop, so she surmised that entering it now that he was actually in here wouldn't be too bad. She pushed it open and peeked inside, looking around for Zurg.

    Wow, the place was dustier than she last recalled. The last time she'd been in here was when they'd been tinkering on Barry together. She spotted him standing in the middle of the room in the dark, stiff. She was never that bothered by the dark. She only hated not being able to see in it. Creepy crawlies or whatever nasties some people claimed to be hiding in it was all hogwash to her.

    "Hey, Big Z." She took his arm and rubbed it gently, then wrapped her arms around him, hugging him closely. "I didn't mean to cast you out like some orphan. I just don't want you to feel like you have nothing to do while I'm working. These things take a while to build, you know." She looked up at him. "Do you want to help me build it too? I could teach you some of the steps," she suggested, fiddling with the fingers of one of his hands.
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:51 am

    Wow, this place was absolutely dusty. Disgusting! Appalling! Mind-wracking! Zurg just wanted to take a good duster and, well, dust! Can't a man like him have OCD about being clean? Of course he could! Jo knew all about that, too. Seems the woman was going to need a maid... and he rather liked his new apron he got on his aging day! ....He did not just think about himself being a maid. HE DID.

    Again, Jo saved the day and she apparently had followed him in. The stalker. The Evil Emperor felt something warm touch his arm and before he knew it, Jo was hugging him like she was guilty about something. What? Did he miss something? Oh, orphans. What orphans? Ooooh, orphans! His little spiel back there! Right!

    "Are... Are you giving me attention because I was being a big baby back there?" He hesitantly asked before bursting with a cackle. "Ahahaha! I should use the whole 'pity me, I'm an orphan' gag more often if this gets enough sympathy!" How touching, but she didn't have to do that! He was only being a pill! Zurg just ruffled Jo's hair and tightened his fingers around hers. "I was just kidding, Jo, gosh! I'm a villain! Come on." He pinched her nose playfully. "I know so many tricks in the book to dupe people it's not even funny! Now."

    He heard her offer and decided against it, scraping one of his fingers alongside something and bringing the dust-laden thing to her face. "Do you see this?" He gawked. "This is skin. It's not even mine. And it's everywhere! Huuuuuuuuugh!" He made a small noise, eyes trailing his finger like it contained a deadly virus nestled atop it. Of course he was being dramatic again and he wiped it off somewhere, chuckling. "Hmm, a moment to clean and satisfy my burning OCD, or help in something constructive with you. Decisions, decisions."

    But the answer was clear and he leaned in to give Jo a quick peck on the head. "I guess I shall help you, even though this means my OCD will only fester into a cleaning rage later. Oh, well. I'll just have to suffer." He rolled his eyes with a petite sigh.

    "Shall we? Ladies first! Oh! That means I go!" He snickered before exiting the room and getting stuck once again in the hall. "....You know, I don't think this place had me in mind when you picked it."
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:13 am

    "But I'm just a simple mechanic! Just because my man's a villain doesn't mean I can get the whole villain spiel in a day or two!" she laughed, liking the attention. Not so much the nose pinch. Why did he find her nose so fascinating? And cosmos, if her going after him when she was worried earned her brownie points she should do it more often. But not to a smothering point, no. She needed her own breathing space too, just like he did.

    She squeezed his hand, then laughed at his antics. One of the things she liked about him the most was how he could always make her laugh. "Well, if it'll make your OCD happy, I can help you with all the cleaning up when we're done. But now! We should go back! For there are evil constructs to be fabricated! In the name of purple!"

    ...This corridor really was narrow. Huh. Jo rolled her sleeves up and dragged him back a bit, then shifted him sideways. "Just shuffle sideways for now. You're so broad-shouldered and the pauldrons clearly aren't helping. Very dainty for a lady, am I right?" she teased.

    But they soon made it back to the workshop again, and this time she brought up a seat for him. "Now, onto the next stage! For there is work to be done!" And for some reason she was feeling pretty pumped. No, not like that, but she was enjoying being a little dramatic. Zurg was rubbing off on her way too much. Which was understandable, but still.

    "Any color preferences for the carapace~?" Jo asked, grinning. She already knew the answer.
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:21 am

    "Your man? Whoa, whoa, hold the vid phone, folks! I am now someone's slave and I did not know. Holy moozle, Brent Starkisser would gobble this up!" But it was all in good fun and he crab-walked out of the hall, just as energetic as Jo was. For some reason he found this constructing fun! There was one thing he had to snicker at, though, and it was the lady comment. "Jo, just look at these hands!" Zurg held them up to her face. "With these hands I create works of art." Cue the long, drawn out word sequence. "Knitting, sewing, cooking! Bunzel muffins." And it was with these masterful artists of art that he tapped Jo's cheeks playfully and leaped into the chair offered, rolling to the other side of the room with the momentum.

    Ah, the carapace colour. His favourite thing to do: decoration. With a lounge back he held out his arms. "Hornets." Zurg began casually with a relaxed grin. "What colour are we painting the carapace?"

    "PURPLE!" They rang out in a monotonous robot tone.

    "Oh, you make me so proud!" He gave a fake sniff and fanning of his face.


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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:41 am

    "Brent Starkisser would gobble more than that up!" Jo pointed out, smirking. "And as for your wondrous works of art...." She wiggled her fingers mysteriously. "....I demand bunzel muffins after this venture, made from your very own evil hands~!" Only the best for Mecha Babe. "And purple it is~!"

    Jo set off to work again, taking measurements again. Once she had gathered all the individual numbers she'd need--she loved her measuring pen sometimes, it made the entire process so much easier--she went over to the back of the room and started up one of her machines. It groaned to life, whirring loudly and twinkling with bright lights, and Jo punched in the measurements. With another shuddering groan, the machine began to fabricate the molds she'd need for the flea's carapace. She was lucky that she'd previously made Barry's armor's molds in here and most of the plating was similar, hence she wouldn't have to actually fabricate molds from scratch, which would have taken a day or two. The machine itself would shift the molds under high enough temperatures into the forms she'd need for the carapace. Jo also started up another machine. This one also whirred to life, the sounds filling the large room. She'd be needing it to melt the metals they'd be using for the carapace more quickly than a regular fire. Then, she went back to the forge and checked the fire to make sure it was still hot.

    "Alright," she said, returning to Zurg's side. "These machines will take a while to start up right. The molds should be ready in about ten minutes, and the machine to melt the substances for the carapace ready in twenty. In the meantime, let's check what colors I have and mix some up to get the shade we want.

    She rummaged around under her desk and produced several different bottles. Reds, blues, and some purples that she already had. "These are my sprays. I use them to color metal. They're relatively permanent and impervious to scratches if we use this spray on them for protection." She showed him another bottle, then laid a yellow bottle beside it. "We could even make your insignia!" She grinned. "We can practice on some scrap metal I have until you're satisfied with an actual shade."
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:47 am

    Ooooh, so professional! Zurg clapped in his chair apparently finding something so... amusing. "This is so cool." He bubbled. "I get to see how Jo works~! This is like taking your child to parent career day! I NEVER had a parent career day!" And Jo had sealed his death warrant by showing him the paint canisters. Oh. Cosmos. Arts and crafts. IT BECKONS.

    With twitchy fingers and a whimper he opened up all the bottles in a blur and dipped a finger in, tasting. Was that healthy? "Mmm, yuck." Zurg made a face and cast that shade away, repeating. "Hmm, nuh-uh." Two rejected, maybe a third was the charm? He tasted this paint again and nodded. "This one! This blue will do! And rhyming should be a crime." Zurg had to pause in place at that one, eyes growing dull. Ugh, why was rhyming so easy? Never mind! He moved to the reds and tasted each one.

    "Nope. No. Disgusting! Aha-ha! This one, too!" The Evil Emperor shoved the selected blue and red to Jo happily. "Eeee, purple paint next! I bet it shall taste delicious! I-I mean!" He coughed into his hand, putting on a serious face and deepening his voice.

    "It shall be glorious."


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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Jan 08, 2011 7:02 am

    "Hey, I never had one either, so me seeing Planet Z was a similar treat." Jo smiled, liking his enthusiasm. Of course, when he started sampling the paints she nearly had a heart-attack, but.... Zurg ate a lot of strange things. Nothing bad would happen to him.... right?

    "Alright, red and blue have been selected! Let's hope they make for a nice purple shade!" she said, putting the rest of the reds and blues aside. She didn't know whether he wanted to sample any of the purples next since they'd found a red and blue shade already, but she'd let him if he wanted to. "Oh, here. Clean yourself up a bit." She pulled out a ragged piece of cloth from her belt and handed it over to him so he could wipe the pain from his gauntleted fingers before it dried. "I bet you don't want your metal fingers to stay those shades, do you?" She had another solution if he couldn't remove the colors, but if he wiped them quickly enough they should be alright.

    The first machine pinged, signalling that the molds were ready. "Oh, the molds have been formed!"

    Jo went over to it, undid the safety hatch, donned extra-heavy duty gloves hanging on a rack attached to the machine, then pulled the tray out. Black molds simmered, of a strange sponge-like substance that sizzled when it came into contact with the air in the room. She cast a quick, but critical glance over them. Everything seemed to be in order. She pulled the tray out, carefully balancing it in a hand, as she closed the hatch and opened another compartment, sliding it in. She fiddled with the controls on it again, then secured the lock, pulling off the gloves and returning to Zurg.

    "Now the molds need to cool and solidify for a bit, so I can pour in the metal without risking them getting melted in the process." After that, the metal solidifying would take the longest, but her machines halved the time it took, and she usually removed the metal while it was still soft around the edges to tweak a bit here and there over her forge, to make the plaques more form-fitting. Building things from scratch was a long and tedious process, especially when one didn't mass produce objects. But Jo loved her job all the same.
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:30 pm

    "Oh, thank you, Jo." He took the cloth to wipe his sampling finger happily, making sure to clean it right as new. Paint was just awful when it dried and started to chip. In the meanwhile, however, he watched Jo get to work and he realized that she was almost preparing a pizza. A great, big, black, simmering pizza that looked like... yuck. Say, a pizza sounded good right about now. Wonder if Overcast was on speed dial!

    "Very interesting! I've never seen an actual human mechanic work!" And Zurg wasn't just saying that to be nice--he was evil, never nice! The Evil Emperor watched the machines go to work and he looked around before asking another question. "So, what next? Do we paint?" He smiled eagerly with a little tremor.

    Painting!


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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:16 am

    "Yep! We'll paint some scrap metal I've got in the corner! Try out the different shades so we can paint the carapace in one go while we wait for the--" Ping! "Oh, the other machine's ready!"

    She checked the scrap metal piles she had in the corner and selected a few pieces, lugging them over to the workbench. "Here we are," she said, spreading them out. "Now, feel free to go all out on them! Cosmos, paint designs on them if you feel like it while I prepare to melt the metal."

    She took the pieces the Hornets had spread out from their supplies, lugging it over to the machine in the corner. She donned the heavier gloves again, then pressed a few buttons, opening a hatch. She deposited the pieces into containers, then slid the hatch closed.

    "Alright," she said, coming back to him. "The metal will take anywhere to a half hour to an hour to melt entirely." She looked over his shoulder. "How're you getting along with the painting?"
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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Zurg on Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:33 am

    Yes! Zurg took all the pieces. Well, he left one for Jo so she could paint on if she wanted. Otherwise, though, he confiscated all the metal he could find and started to weld them together his style: with his laser eyes very carefully. Sure, it was a gross misuse of his powers but hey, he wanted to create something!

    "A half hour?" The Evil Emperor looked up from his doodling, pausing to stick his thumb at it critically before adding a few last touches. "What do you think, Jo?" He turned the fused metal plates to show her his masterpiece. "Can't wait until that half hour!"


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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:41 am

    Jo simply blinked. First at him, then at his masterpiece. Not that it wasn't a beautiful painting--Jo just wondered why the cosmos he'd painted it all on her scrap metal. Something like that would have looked much better on an actual canvas.

    "Well, we could do something else that's productive with out time. But the molds should be ready in a few minutes." She hopped up and onto a clear space on her workbench, dangling her feet. "Sure, I know this is a speed commission, but you can only go so fast! It'll be ready today, though. That, I guarantee! And Jo Pistonne always keeps her promises~!"

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    Re: Something smells like... BUSINESS!

    Post by Sponsored content


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