Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:09 pm

    Be still!? Oh, hell no. Red's chumminess with the alien was just too much for the agent to handle, and out of an act of sheer defiance and spite, J let loose his own displeasure. Nepotism on his watch?

    "Hold on now, y'all." J snorted a small laugh, strutting on up with his hands still in his pockets. "It's clear to me." He began, at first turning around on his heels to eye both K and Red before he faced the alien. "That Mr. Big and Bad, here, has something he's wanting to hide. Just what might that be, huh?"

    "Slick." K warned. But again, he did nothing. Nepotism wasn't something he liked, either, and Mr. Red was going to learn a thing or two about how things were run in the MIB. It just so happened that he would be learning the hard way. J's way.

    "Why don't you tell us about this Jo gal, your Evilness." The young agent grinned mockingly, sidled all up into the Evil Drag Queen's face once again. "Go on, don't be shy. It's 'off the record' remember?"
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:13 pm

    Clearly there were some... issues with authority here.

    Zurg felt his temper rising by the second, from watching the agents and their Chief struggle on the grounds of what to investigate and from the young man's attitude. Oh, that cheeky little--this was outrageous! Completely and utterly outrageous! The Evil Emperor glared at Agent J as he walked right on up, thinking he was the big bad here, and he nearly had the inclination to open his mouth and bite that pretty little head off. He did promise Jo he wouldn't eat human, but he never promised about simple ingestion.

    "It's none of your concern." Was his curt response, the Evil Emperor even lowering his head to be even with J's. "Put that on your record."
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:27 pm

    "Slick, lay off. She's just a mechanic. Nothing more, nothing less." Zurg wasn't the only one whose temper was rising. The demon had learned to curb it, but it didn't mean he was immune.

    "I want this wrapped up fast, so everyone start cooperating," he added in a low growl, tail swishing.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:37 pm

    "No, I will not just lay off." It was suffice to say that J had been upset more than anyone else, and he was doing a rather good job at keeping it contained within fast wit and sharp lashings of his tongue. "And if you wanted this damn thing wrapped up fast you would have done your job, like you should have been, and helped us get what we needed so we can be off! Instead, you're being all friendly with--"

    "Slick, please." This time K was the one stepping up and he carefully treaded the testy waters that had suddenly churned. "Evil Emperor, if I may entertain you for a moment." He began calmly and concisely, a sharp contrast to J. "Please understand that our questions are not intended to be used against you at any given time or moment. They are simply for us to get to know you better. What you say is useful to us in learning about our citizens--yes, you are a citizen, even if you contest the status of your citizenry. Now, please, can you answer the questions presented before you previously."

    Sometimes being polite yet firm was the best course of action.

    "Yeah, and if you don't cooperate from here, we'll be interrogating that mechanic, too." J added to insult.

    K didn't speak on this, but he did shoot his partner a quick glance before training his eyes back upon the alien. The threat was true, but he wouldn't comment on it just yet.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:44 pm

    The strife was amusing between J and Red, and Zurg chose to savour this moment in silence rather than instigating it further. It seemed Red didn't have as tight a leash on his minions as he thought! Whether this was because the demon was too soft or because the demon wasn't respected anymore was anyone's guess; Zurg thought it was the latter. All that amusement ended, however, when K stood forward and presented his stubborn, rigid case before the Evil Emperor.

    The man was determined to see this through, wasn't he?

    "Read my fake lips." He smiled kindly back, smug. "It. Is. None. Of. Your. Busine--what?" Zurg paused in his confidence when J casually mentioned that if the tyrant didn't compromise and tell the agents what they wanted to know, they would... And that's when Zurg changed. It wasn't drastic, but he had definitely changed. He no longer seemed smug or dismissive, and instead became silent and intense.

    "You wouldn't dare." He hissed, intent on boring holes through J's eyeballs and ultimately through his head. "You wouldn't dare escalate things further."

    Just like diesel fuel and fertilizer. It wasn't hard to guess which one was J.


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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:57 pm

    Hellboy glowered, feeling his hairs beginning to bristle and a growl rising in his throat. It took all of his willpower to keep from smacking Jay right then and there. "Shut. Up," he hissed through clenched teeth. But the agent was right. Hellboy wasn't doing his job right and it was time to step on more than just the agents' toes.

    "Zurg, just spit it out. Answer Kay's questions and we can be out of here in five minutes and never set foot here again and nothing'll have to escalate." Badge of Patience, he fricken earned a Badge of Patience! Several, in fact.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:02 pm

    Finally, for once during this entire episode, J complied and he shrugged, taking a step back. "The defense rests, your Honor." Seeing the alien get riled up at the threat was more than satisfying for the agent. Plenty.

    And while K didn't find his partner's ethics and tactics redeeming, they got the job done and the older agent waited for things to calm down before pressing onwards.

    "Evil Emperor, if you may?"
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:11 pm

    What? That... That was it? Red wasn't going to so much as reprimand his little flunkies for their unethical methods? Why... Why this was insulting! Just look at the facts presented! Here they were, in his home, demanding things in his home, and now they were allowed to threaten him while in his home? Well, it was clear to see which side the demon was on!

    With a tinge of betrayal and resentment, the Evil Emperor finally obliged, but not because of his doing or his friend's.

    "What you demand of me is unimportant and dated." He began in a tone of neutrality and distance. "I am, before you, the Evil Emperor Zurg. I was the scourge of the Galactic Alliance and enemy of Star Command. I am the bane of justice and the beacon of the corrupt. What I do is called evil by some, but by me opportunity and business. And while I may be evil and aptly labeled as such, I have morals and standards that I follow diligently. I am not an uncouth lout, and I am not a depraved individual like some here. My evil is dignified and distinguished, not juvenile and asinine. I live alone here, on my world, far away from a place that irks me to no end. And it is here in my solitude that I am at peace and tranquility."

    There came a pause, the only sound throughout the chamber the scampering of feet and the boops of monitors.

    "I am not a threat to Portal Breach." Zurg finally admitted, still distant. "I have no desire to spark evil down there anymore. I find the vacuum of space much more charming. I'm safe here, away from others. Are you satisfied with my answer, or do you require deeper discussion." He ended on a particularly sour note.


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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:18 pm

    "All right, are we done here?" He eyed the two agents sullenly. He was starting to feel physically ill, and that didn't happen to him often. He just wanted this over and done with. It had been a terrible idea from the start.

    "Thanks, Zurg. And sorry about intruding like this and being so demanding." The damage had been done, however. And Hellboy had to learn the hard way that you couldn't be on two sides at the same time.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:23 pm

    Both agents listened carefully as the alien told them his story, and while J wasn't sure he bought the little fable K had more than enough information he could glean over at a later date. "Thank you, Evil Emperor and almost Mr. Red. If I may?" The agent held out the scanner once more, pivoting the open end for the alien's finger to slide through.

    "Your DNA." K clarified.

    J was, meanwhile, too busy eying the collection of brain in jars at the side of the chamber.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:25 pm

    "Don't mention it." He remarked petulantly to the demon.

    Zurg's eyes fell upon the scanner and he felt his heart sink, knowing full well the dangers of sharing one's DNA. Blast it, Red! Why'd you have to do your job and bring them here? Why? Choosing to end such brooding thoughts, the Evil Emperor began to remove one of his gauntlets--something he rarely did in front of total strangers.

    "Am I to assume that if I... comply." Oh, how that word soured his tongue. "You won't enact on that threat?" He asked, doing his best to keep his tone impartial as he exposed his purple flesh, flexing his fingers.

    "Do I have your word, as agents of the law?"


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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:34 pm

    He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. He couldn't say much else now without making somebody mad. But he nodded, holding back a sigh.

    "We won't," he promised, eyeing the fingernail-less hand. He had a little sinking feeling he knew why Zurg was cooperating now. But then he decided he'd say it anyway. "You have my word as your friend."
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:41 pm

    It seemed J had something to say, but one quick shake from K's head got the man to think better and he remained silent. For once. "You have our solemn promise as agents of the law that we will not enact upon that statement given at a prior time." K nodded.

    When the purple alien drew his finger near, K carefully clamped the scanner shut and waited for it to draw a tiny blood sample. The Evil Emperor would feel a slight pinch, but that would be it as the scanner finished its survey and chimed with a green light. It was done. All there was to it.

    "We thank you for your cooperation, Evil Emperor." K said while pocketing the scanner into the folds of his suit, perhaps never to be seen again until they were back at HQ. "We try our best to ensure that the citizens of Portal Breach are safe and orderly."

    "Mmhm." J chose not to remark on that comment, either. Personally, he wanted to see this alien bring up an issue again just so the agent had the legal opportunity to trump his plated ass. There was just something not right about the guy. Evil Emperor? Really? And K was going to let that slide? Boy, talk about inviting evil in. "Guess that's it, then. Y'all ready to go, or... are we invited to lunch?" The young man smiled at the drained tyrant.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:46 pm

    Hmph, what Agent K said sounded like some cleverly crafted loophole a lawyer would through at you out of nowhere. Zurg knew the jargon, but it was the only thing he had close enough to a promise from them. Red's promise was apparently not the same as the agents apparently overrode the Chief in this endeavour.

    "I'll hold you to it, then. All of you." He stared them down intently, drawing his forefinger near.

    The scanner clamped down around it and with a slight pinch Zurg felt something prick his skin and draw a little blood, the Evil Emperor doing his best not to wince and find the interaction discomforting. He always hated needles. Always. Thankfully the procedure didn't last long and that was that, Zurg placing his gauntlet back on with a metallic hiss and letting his knuckles crack.

    "No, I'm afraid I don't have lunch prepared as I wasn't given proper notice of your arrivals." At this he glanced at Red before continuing. "That is, you could stay if you like~! Perhaps see a torture session or two! We have a special on drawn and quartering today." He practically cooed, wondering what they would all think.


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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:57 pm

    Hellboy grunted, knowing he had erred in more ways than one. "Come on, let's get the hell out of here." He gestured to the agents to follow. Torture wouldn't help impressions.

    "See ya, Zurg. Maybe we can meet again under better circumstances. Just you and me, I mean," he added in clarification. He was never going to put Zurg and the agents in the same room again if he could help it. Though he wouldn't blame the emperor if he wasn't up to it anymore. Maybe he had overstayed his welcome in more senses than one.

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