Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Tue Dec 07, 2010 12:36 am

    "What!?" Now J was the one getting pissed. The man boldly stepped up to his supervisor and pointed a finger directly at the Evil Drag Queen. "What do you mean 'You're not forced to give one up'. This guy is subject to all the laws we impose and enforce! You can't play favourites with your... chum!" He snorted while eying the horned extraterrestrial. "That's not how we do things!"

    Ugh, here we go again.

    "Easy, Slick. Let me handle this." K gave his partner a very sarcastic smile, silently thanking the impatient, loud-mouthed man for possibly souring things beyond their expiration date. This Evil Emperor certainly didn't seem like the tolerant type, and Mr. Red's recent buddy-buddy status with the man wasn't... K didn't want to dwell on that. They had work to do. "What my partner here means is that we came all this way to meet you in person. And, also to extract a DNA sample. As bothersome as this sounds it's the law, one Mr. Red helped instate, and we are humbly requesting a simple specimen. When we have that we'll be on our way and won't pester you again."

    There, hopefully that fanned the flames.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Tue Dec 07, 2010 12:39 am

    But K's respectful intervention only made things worse.

    Zurg's feathers were now officially ruffled, and he glanced at Red with a tinge of annoyance. "You mean to tell me you brought these Agents to my home so that they may acquire a DNA sample when you know how touchy I am about such things?" There was silence.

    "I'm giving you all ten seconds to get off my world and leave." The Evil Emperor growled.

    He was not in the mood for this today!


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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:28 am

    "I'm not playing any favourites," Hellboy growled, though that wasn't entirely true. The very fact that he was here, with the agents, giving Zurg a choice, an option, even though it was against police regulations, was testament to the fact that he was showing favouritism. He'd been hoping that things wouldn't escalated to the point that Zurg would demand they get off the planet.

    "Not just for that," he disagreed. "They came here to talk with you too. Like I said, you don't have to give them a DNA sample--shut it, Slick--but your status is a cause for concern for them. Just a nice, civilised talk is enough. Let them explain themselves, at least. Come on, Zurg, you know me. I wouldn't be doing this without a reason."

    He crossed his arms and waited. This would either break or seal the deal now.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:31 am

    J could only glare at his supervisor, not wanting any of this bullshit, and he pinched his lips to keep quiet. K, on the other hand, was much more reliable and he simply nodded at what Mr. Red said. Although... he did want a DNA sample. Friend or not, corruption was not acceptable.

    It all rested on the Evil Emperor's shoulders.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:33 am

    By now Zurg's timecom had already ticked away ten seconds, and the Evil Emperor was starting to get testy. Red should have known better! Bringing men in suits thinking they could just make demands of his person! Outrageous! Utterly outrageous!

    But, Red was still Zurg's friend and the armour-clad dictator narrowed his eyes, twisting his scowl into a tight sneer.

    "Make it quick." He ordered curtly.


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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:42 am

    Hellboy nodded and dipped his chin in the agents' direction. "All right, boys, do your stuff. And no funny business, Slick," he warned the smart-mouthed agent.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:48 am

    And no funny business, Slick.

    J made a mocking face, but that was quickly replaced with a squint as the young man examined the Evil Drag Queen as if the alien were under a microscope. A scathing microscope. "So. You the big bad Evil Emperor, huh." He scoffed, appearing both irked and amused. "You don't seem big bad to me." Yes, this was going very well.

    So well, in fact, K merely kept his hands clasped together at his front and he tried his best not to wince.

    "You know, I'm thinking." J continued, sidling up to the purple alien; so close that he was literally looking up into those red, angry eyes. "I'm thinking..." He murmured, not once backing down. "I'm thinking you've got some sway on our boss, Mr. Red, here. Now, I know I'm not the hottest star in the galaxy, but... does that sound like you're an honorable citizen to you?"

    Yep, the kid was digging his own grave. On a scale of 1 to 10, K thought this would sting on an 11.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:51 am

    Why, that little...

    Zurg kept his cool, if it could be considered cool, and he watched silently as the dark-skinned human moseyed on up, sticking his face where it didn't belong. The man's face was so close Zurg could smell the stink and cheap cologne. The Evil Emperor hoped Red knew what he was doing with this!

    "If you're asking whether or not I'm an honourable citizen." Zurg began in that low, dangerous tone of his whenever perturbed. "Then the answer isn't as hard as you think, Slick." He might as well have stabbed J in the heart.

    "I'm not."

    Let's see what trouble that stirs.


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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:08 am

    Oh, hell no. There he went, just causing trouble. Hellboy only groaned and facepalmed, hoping that all this would be over soon.

    "Kay, do something about him, for the love of god," he hissed under his breath. He didn't want Zurg to blow a gasket!
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:19 am

    "Slick." K warned. But that was all he did. J had a point, and K was going to do his job. As much as the agent found Mr. Red a very respectable Chief, the demon had his faults and K was not about to do a half-ass job because of it. "Allow me." The old man interjected before J could open his mouth, and he took the reins of the conversation.

    "Evil Emperor, if I may." He began, taking out a few devices. "We have reason to suspect that you are a threat to the planet known as Portal Breach. Your death rays, highly-questionable arms manufacturing, and all around evil presence denotes as much. If you don't mind, we'd like to ask a few questions as well as collecting a paltry DNA sample. For our records, you understand."

    And before either J or the alien could protest, K took out a tiny scanner.

    "What promise, if any, can you afford in that you will not assault or endanger the lives of Portal Breach's citizens? Oh, and your finger, please." He indicated to the device.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:25 am

    "Age before beauty, is it." Zurg eyed the older man, both irritated and delighted in his... approach. Polite and concise. Well, well, well. He rather liked this one. And just like that the Evil Emperor's disposition shifted from dire to pleasant.

    "A threat? My, how you flatter me~!" He practically cooed, loving the attention to his ego. "But, I'm afraid you're wasting your time." To this he shook a finger and mockingly scolded, tsking. "I'm far from dangerous, you see! With my planet now farther away, I've hardly the time for a surprise attack on your little, darling planet. Besides, I've friends on that world and I'd... rather not blow it up right away." The tyrant shook his fingers with a slight face.

    His answer left one open thread, the scanner, and Zurg suddenly flared up his eyes. Without warning the metal device instantly grew a hundred times hot and it melted into a dripping, dark putty onto the floor.

    "Oops! Did I do that~?"


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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Tue Dec 07, 2010 3:12 am

    All right. Things were going far more smoothly. The demon breathed a sigh of relief. This could have ended very, very badly. But so far so good... hopefully.

    "Now, Zurg," Hellboy said, rummaging around in his belt pockets. "Kay's just trying to do his job here and this equipment's hard to come by." He pulled out another scanner and handed it to the older agent. "Why don't you tell them a bit about yourself? Don't be giving them the wrong idea like so many others have, eh?"

    Of course, what he meant by that was how people thought of him being a robot or a man in a mask, or even half-man, half-machine. That never sat well with Zurg, and hell, the demon could get it. He didn't like it when people made jibes about him, either.

    "Oh, how's Jo?" he asked, tone almost casual. "Haven't seen her or you in a while. Been busy?" No, he was not jealous... not really. But he did feel small twinges of it here and there. Even though he was happy for Zurg finally finding someone for himself, the demon felt like his time with the emperor had been sacrificed because of it.

    But then again, he'd been to blame for that too. He'd been busy with the police force and his new family, Zurg had been busy with whatever it was that he got up to and Jo, and they drifted apart, as simple as that. But Hellboy still regarded Zurg as a very good friend, if not the best, and hoped that after this they could get back into the habit of talking more often. Maybe he could come over for lunch and they could try to catch up on old times. The last proper discussion they'd had hadn't been under good circumstances, and the demon wanted to make sure everything was all right with his old friend. Despite his position, he still felt loyal to him.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:29 pm

    Well, that took K by surprise, and not much did. He dropped the scanner the moment it began to become unnaturally hot and the old man watched it turn into goop before his very feet. Interesting...

    "Hey, man!" K heard J snap angrily. "Those things ain't cheap! I hope you're willing to buy another one!" But it wasn't like there were more to purchase. K simply wiped his hands together to relieve the tingling sensation and he gratefully accepted Mr. Red's spare scanner.

    "Thank you, sir. And yes, we'd like to know more about you." The elder agent turned to the Evil Emperor again, this time adjusting the scanner to pick up bone composition as he waved it around the alien's person. Very dense bones, by the looks of it. He snapped the tool closed and kept his hands clasped in the front. "Can we start with your specie? What race are you, if any? What's your full name? Where are you from? What's your class?"

    Typical interrogation questions.

    J, on the other hand, picked up on this "Jo" person and he waited to see the Evil Drag Queen's response.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:37 pm

    Hmph!

    Zurg just gave Red a firm glare, letting the demon know that he was very displeased. The man even gave the so-called agent another scanner to... to... to probably violate him with! The nerve! The gall! The tragedy! The Evil Emperor felt his mood sour by tenfold once more as the human waved it around, apparently finding something interesting to note.

    "I hope you are aware to my rights of privacy." He remarked flatly, wondering what the man was collecting. Wondering if anything was going to be stored and used against him later on. He couldn't help but feel paranoid. And things only grew worse when Zurg heard the questions, feeling his lips pull back into an even wider scowl. Oh, yes. He was most displeased.

    "If you wanted to know me, my dear, you need only ask what I like and dislike. It's only proper, you see, and we're just not that close to discuss... such intimacy." The Evil Emperor growled, unable to hide his obvious annoyance with such brash, straight-to-the-point questions. He felt like he was being interrogated in some back room with his hands tied behind his back upon a chair! The insolence!

    But... just as things were going his way, Red had to open his big mouth and catch him by surprise.

    With a noticeable startle, Zurg dropped his intimidating wall and stared at Red, blinking. "She's... um... Well, she's fine.... Red." Red, you fool! You just gave these newly-evolved baboons information that could be used against me! The Evil Emperor quickly recovered and kept his imposing air.

    "I want that taken off the record." He demanded.


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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:49 pm

    "Be still, Slick. You can change your pants in a moment," Hellboy said dryly. "And don't worry, Zurg. It just picks up little things like bone density. Nothing will be used against you, I promise it."

    But he could tell that Zurg was getting surlier by the minute, and he told himself that he shouldn't be so surprised at how everyone was reacting. He'd been expecting them to butt heads. Just... not quite like this.

    "You can answer whatever you want, and yeah, that's off the record," Hellboy added. Unprofessional, but professionalism be damned. He knew the agents wouldn't be happy with him, but he could afford to be biased just a little... right?

    Who was he kidding?

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