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    Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

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    Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Sat Dec 04, 2010 10:59 pm

    The shuttle touched down carefully, causing clouds of red dust to puff up. The door opened with a hiss, and Hellboy’s head peeked out with an oxygen mask strapped over his face. He was dressed differently than usual. He was wearing his spacesuit, Nemesis, with his police uniform over it since it only consisted of a long overcoat, and since he’d been planning for this trip today. Zurg probably wouldn’t take kindly to seeing the uniform on him, so he shrugged it off and tossed it on the back of his chair before emerging.

    "Step lightly, boys," the demon said, eyeing the two agents following. "Zurg doesn't really like strangers on his planet, so watch what you say to him." He didn't want to risk the emperor's temper prematurely. Zurg hadn't been at his best lately, and the demon hope that he was doing all right.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Sun Dec 05, 2010 12:13 am

    "What in the hell is this place?"

    "Slick, your manners."

    Both men stepped off, their ties flapping madly in the violent wind and J had to keep cleaning his visor. Ugh, this red stand was everywhere and he had just polished his shoes again! He looked up as best he could and tried to take in his surroundings. There was nothing but sand, sand, sand everywhere and ahead were rumbling, thundering clouds that sparked with constant energy.

    ".....We flew through two hours in space for THIS?" J remarked. "I want a refund!"

    K had to admit, he didn't like this place no more than his partner. A dark, foreboding fortress; an uninhabitable atmosphere; laser turrets; defense moons; scrambling robotic minions. Yep, screamed evil overlord. The old man readjusted his mask and glanced at his supervisor, his stature signifying that he was ready for anything.

    "Whenever you're ready, Sir, we'll follow." He said in no nonsense.

    "Terrific... I bet the inside is even worse, too..."
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Sun Dec 05, 2010 12:25 am

    "It's better inside. No red sandstorm, for one," Hellboy quipped.

    He started off for the fortress, jerking a thumb casually at a squat, red building to the left. "That's home. I told them we'd drop by to see Zurg first, so they wouldn't worry."

    He stopped in front of the front door, massive and red, just like the sand all around them. There were two hornets situated on either end, holding pikes in their hands.

    "Hellboy here, with Agents K and J, to see the Evil Emperor Zurg." Protocol was protocol no matter how you looked at it.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Sun Dec 05, 2010 12:41 am

    "Did he just say home..." The hell kind of home was this!?

    Thankfully K got them in gear, and both agents followed quietly, never once stopping to look around and assess the place. Factories, ammunition compounds, depots... Yes, looked like quite the bustling war metropolis. And there was not one citizen or living thing about, either. Just robots and sewage rats...

    When both men saw the stern, yellow-black robots holding imposing stun pikes, however, Agents K and J placed their hands up their guns out of habit.

    "I take it this is the welcoming party..." J mumbled. He didn't like this one bit. Not one bit.

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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:01 am

    "Agent Hellboy is permitted entry. Agents K and J are not recognised," came the reply from the two Hornets.

    The demon withheld a sigh. He should have expecting there to be trouble. "They're with me. I told Zurg we were coming to see him. Now either they come with me, or I make you let us pass." He was feeling a bit testy today and wouldn't hesitate to break a few robots if he had to.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:04 am

    "Sounds like trouble..." J immediately began to draw out his blaster, but K stilled the young man's hand with his own.

    "Wait, Slick. I don't think taking out your weapon is the best idea. Mr. Red knows what he's doing."

    Both agents could only await to see if a confrontation would break out.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:20 am

    Before the robots could answer back, Hellboy quickly added, "Zurg approved it," hoping to garner brownie points. And if not, he could always just beat them into submission. Man it had been a long time since he'd had the opportunity to muscle his way through somewhere.

    The ruse seemed to work. The Hornets rammed the buts of their pikes on the ground once, then stepped aside as the massive doors opened. "You are allowed entry."

    Hellboy nodded to the two agents. "Come on. It's a long way to the throne room."
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:29 am

    That simple?

    J watched the robots stand back at Red's tone, and he had to give the man credit. "Huh, kind of like saying open sesame. But I bet we're not going to find seventy-two virgins in this place." And then he paused awkwardly. ".....Right?"

    "I doubt this Evil Emperor spends his free time engaging in questionable leisurely activities, Slick. Let's go. Don't want to keep the man waiting." K wasn't about to forget about the death ray mentioned before earlier all those months ago. So he gestured his partner to keep up and they followed their supervisor aimlessly.

    "I wonder if we're going to be probed. You know, for testing."

    "Slick."
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:37 am

    Hellboy snorted incredulously. "Nah, Zurg's not that kind of emperor. He's the kind that... plots and schemes is all. Though he's more mellow lately. Despite whatever the hell he's planning this time." And right in time for the holidays too! Hellboy wouldn't be surprised if Zurg tried to ruin Christmas!

    He led them down hallways with several twists and turns until they finally reached an elevator. The demon jabbed a button with his finger and the elevator groaned to life. It was a long ride up--maybe ten minutes in total--but they finally made it to one of the highest levels.

    This hallway had more activity on it. Grubs, brainpods and hornets scurried around, and Hellboy led the two agents down the long hallway and to the large throne room, with its several grubs, glowing green lava lamps, and none other than the Evil Emperor Zurg himself.

    "Heya, Zurg," Hellboy greeted casually with a lazy wave of his stone hand. "How's it going?"
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:48 am

    When they finally got inside the complex, past the pressure vaults, the agents took off their masks with a relieved breath of air and J was the first to immediately comment.

    "Guess that rules out Evil Emperor Ming. Say, Red, ever watch Flash Gordon? Turns out the actor was a real alien. Went home along with Elvis." And he wasn't joking, either. Most Earth actors were really aliens looking to either provide stellar entertainment (no pun intended) or seek galactic amnesty. Go figure.

    K, on the other hand, was too busy surveying the place. "Evil technology, heavy fortifications, constant surveillance. I'd say our friend isn't the peaceful type."

    "No." J quipped sarcastically. "I bet he's into donating to charity, giving children toys, and having tea with the Queen of England tea--who is also alien, by the way. Don't let that crown fool you. It's how her kind mind-controlled humans into being loyal subjects. Ever think Princess Diana's death was so... convenient?"

    Seemed Earth was filled with aliens!

    But thankfully Red got the party rolling and he led them through the fortress, both agents keeping their guard up to the max. They saw more robots of various models as well as... were those brains in jars!? What!?

    "Holy--K! There is some seriously trippy stuff going on here, man! Brains!" He hissed to his partner.

    "I'm more worried about the giant bugs." K never did like bugs and these were everywhere. Well, so long as there were no cockroaches...

    After a long travel upwards in a cramped, silent elevator the agents followed Red to what seemed like... a throne room. There were monitors all about, evil mechanisms here and there, and in the center was none other than the tyrant in question, and he seemed particularly busy with... some... some chart.

    "Would you look at that gaudy get-up..." J mumbled.

    "Slick, please. We're in the presence of alien royalty. Mind your manners." K chastised in a dry tone he never seemed to be rid off.

    "Just saying. I didn't think we'd be humbled before a drag queen."
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:52 am

    "I heard that."

    Zurg peered over his charts, his eyes already narrowed behind his reading glasses. Now who were they. What sort of rabble did Red bring before his almighty evil presence!? The Evil Emperor sat up straighter, assuming his air of higher authority, and he put the chart down upon his lap to better sneer. "Red, my dear." He said in his usual tone of greeting. "I'm so glad to see you; it's been a while, truly. But." He pointed a curved talon at his little flunkies.

    "You haven't properly introduced me to your lackeys~!" He cooed, stretching out his teeth into a broad grin.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:15 am

    Hellboy had pretty good hearing, and he heard most of the agents' comments, unable to hide a wide grin at them. He'd been pretty spooked and overwhelmed the first time he'd been introduced to Zurg's staff too. Their latter comments weren't the best, however.

    "Slick, he's got good hearing," the demon warned, but Zurg's comment made it all too clear he hadn't warned the agent in time. Thankfully, Zurg was in a good enough mood to not order his minions all over them.

    "These are Agents K and J," Hellboy said, gesturing to each in turn. "They're my Second-in-Commands and... they wanted to meet you since they've heard so much about you. And seeing as they didn't have your DNA and all..." He left it hanging, hoping he wouldn't ruin Zurg's good mood with that comment.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Agents K and J on Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:21 am

    J stiffened immediately as this so-called Evil Emperor had heard their comments, but thankfully K kept his cool and didn't appear bothered. They had met aliens with superhuman qualities before, this was no different. He only wished J had remembered that... Hopefully his partner's quick mouth wouldn't get them into further tro--

    "Hey, who are you calling lackeys?"

    Well, he thought too soon. K closed his eyes for a moment, feeling his lips pull back into a thin line but he otherwise didn't betray his emotions. "It is truly an honor to finally meet you, sir." Once again, K had to do the damage control. Once again.

    "Speak for yourself, K." Apparently J didn't get the memo that this guy was on a higher level. "I'm not about to be all nice with evil entities that would otherwise be malignant and disruptive to an otherwise calm and collect society. Now you heard our boss." He took a bold step forward. "Hand over your DNA and we can all go home and resume with our lives."

    Oh, boy... K knew this wasn't going to go well.
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Zurg on Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:29 am

    Well, with a tone like that it was only natural someone like Zurg calmly put the chart aside and casually stand up. His footsteps echoed throughout the chamber as he walked down towards them, his hands held up and touching together. He didn't say a word, apparently appearing benign and tolerant, and as he approached Agent J, he loomed over him and scowled. They were very close together.

    "Cute." Was all he said as he narrowed his eyes and stood up to his full height, walking away to examine the other. "I do so enjoy company, Red, but you know how I get in my old age." Zurg remarked as he stared directly at Agent K.

    "Speak your business, and quick." He demanded curtly, eyes starting to glow. "I don't appreciate such demands in my home."
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    Re: Long Overdue Inspection (Tag: Zurg, Agents K and J)

    Post by Hellboy on Sun Dec 05, 2010 3:10 am

    Hellboy groaned and face-palmed. "Slick, I said to watch your mouth. Do you want me to shut your yap for you?" He shot him a glare, letting his anger speak more than his words. "I thought not."

    He turned back to Zurg, shrugging helplessly. "Well, the agents didn't really have any records on you. And seeing as you're one of the only aliens around here, and aliens are their speciality, they wanted to see you. Yeah, they do kinda want a DNA sample, but you're not forced to give one up. I got ya covered on that."

    Hellboy knew Zurg's thing about DNA and doctors and hospitals and all that jazz, so he wouldn't compromise his best friend on accounts of something like that, even if that wasn't what the agents did with the DNA samples.

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