Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    It's About Darn Time!

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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Sep 18, 2010 4:55 pm

    Jo eagerly followed Zurg down the corridor, not noticing that the grub was following close-by as she listened to Zurg's description of the female moonshark, apparently named Coco.

    "Hey!" she giggled, sissy-slapping his hand away. "I'll have you know I'm good with animals! So good that I didn't even have a pet!" She had meant that as a joke, but she realized too late that it might make Zurg worry more than necessary about visiting Coco, and she really wanted to see the moonshark.

    "...I'll keep a safe distance, don't worry," she added, hugging his arm. "After all, I've got you to protect me~!"

    She looked around at the hallway, taking in its red, metallic walls, and then noticed the grub from before still walking along with them.

    "45!" she grinned, patting its head fondly. "Still hanging around us? You must be really bored!" There was nothing really fascinating she and Zurg were doing for the grub to be interested in anyway.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Wed Sep 22, 2010 1:51 am

    Nothing interesting, huh? The grub was more than wise enough to not comment on how the newcomer was literally touching its master. Strange, no death rays were fired. Perhaps there was a new policy stated? It was about time. "I am never bored in his Evilness' presence." It droned.

    Ahhh, good to see minions still had it.

    "Actually..." Zurg brought a worrisome hand to his mouth as he spoke. "I don't think I could stand up much against a full-grown moonshark, and Coco has been rather testy lately, if you get my drift. You know, raging hormones. She's nesting."

    The grub made a face, sticking out its tongue, and grimaced. Nesting was a terrible thing to experience with moonsharks!

    And Jo was going to get a taste of it once Zurg brought up--you guessed it--yet another elevator. Were there any stairs to this place? Really?

    "Ladies first~!" He gestured with a mock bow.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Wed Sep 22, 2010 9:46 am

    The grub was either well-trained or scared witless, but Jo only grinned and patted its head again. "Maybe you need to find a new hobby," she commented.

    "Nesting?" she repeated, frowning. "How can she be nesting? Do you have another moonshark or is she mono-gendered?" Jo might have gotten the definition of nesting wrong too, but judging by the grub's reaction and the talk of hormones it had to be something about reproduction.

    She exhaled loudly "Another elevator? Haven't you people ever heard of stairs?" Not that she was a fan of climbing stairs, but she was starting to get tired of seeing elevators at every turn she took.

    But she decided to take it in stride. "Why thank you~" she smiled, batting her eyelashes at Zurg and curtsying back clumsily before stepping into the elevator and breaking down into giggles, coupled with unladylike snorts.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Thu Sep 23, 2010 10:02 pm

    "You mean there is a hobby besides evil?" The grub asked.

    "Ah-ah! What my companion means is that you should find another interest within evil." And with this the Evil Emperor shot Jo a concerned look and silently shook his head. An educated minion was a dangerous minion! Same with democracy and letting people vote. Again, when Jo referenced nesting the grub grimaced leaving Zurg the honour to explain the process of moonshark nesting rituals.

    "You see, Jo..." He began, taking a turn around perhaps the hundredth corner. "Moonsharks are predominantly heterosexual; meaning one male, one female. However, during times of stress, a moonshark may be allowed to become a biologically true asexual creature; meaning, they can reproduce with themselves. This can be referred to heterogamy. With me so far? Good!" He smiled.

    "What is heterogamy?" The grub asked, waving a hand to get noticed.

    ".....I just explained it. PAY ATTENTION!" Zurg yelled at the lackey before snorting and changing moods. "Anyway, where was I..."

    "You were at heterogamy." The grub reminded.

    "Ah! Yes! Thank you. Ahem. Because of this and being the only one of her kind here, Coco has taken it upon herself to mate internally and develop eggs. Yes." The Evil Emperor nodded to himself. "Although... it certainly has made her plenty moody. This one, while I was having one of my good days, she beat me against a wall. Ahhh, fun times with Coco."
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:14 am

    "Well, it is--" Jo started to say, but catching Zurg's look, she exhaled and fell silent. She wasn't going to tell him how to run his staff, but associating everything with evil was starting to get tiresome. Not that she had any real problem with Zurg's chosen occupation; she just wished it didn't follow her around so much.

    "Alright. So Coco's turned to heterogamy because she's stressed." Which sounded strange enough in and of itself. "Stressed because of what?" she asked curiously.

    "Wait." The rest of his words just registered. "She beat you against a wall?!" Jo's eyes widened in horror and she stopped walking to gape at him. "Are you alright?! Are you hurt?! Why didn't you say anything?"
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Sep 25, 2010 11:35 am

    "Stressed? She's the last of her kind here. Didn't I just say that? Grub, what am I speaking right now?" Zurg demanded.

    "Uh... Galactic Basic, your Evilness?" It meeped with a shaky smile.

    "Exactly! You all should understand me. Now, where was I..." The Evil Emperor frowned. He was dreadfully quick to get off track lately! This wasn't good at all...

    "Coco being the last of her specie?" Wow, the grub felt really helpful today! Maybe it would get cake! YEAH!

    "Oh, right!" The tyrant suddenly smiled while bending briefly to pat the grub on the head. It probably wanted cake but another day out of the grub boiler would be reward enough. "Now, since Coco is indeed by her lonesome here she has the ability to develop eggs insider herself and continue her specie. And unfortunately this makes her extremely agitated and moody.... very moody."

    Zurg was cut off from explaining further as Jo suddenly became concerned and worried. What got her feathers ruffled?

    "Whoa, whoa, whoa." He fanned his hands before the woman's face and shook his head quickly. "Relax! This incident happened months ago and I've already had the necessary physical therapy sessions! Well, I did miss that one time... but I'm fit, really! No need to fret about it. I'm not as dainty as a Tangean Royal--who did come over once to help Coco. Ranger Nova..."

    "I thought she was nice." The grub blurted out.

    The subsequent look Zurg gave his minion was priceless.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Sep 25, 2010 11:58 pm

    "Sure you did. I just thought you meant a different sort of stress...." She really wasn't one to talk on this sort of subject, but she could see why Zurg felt a sort of kinship with Coco. Not only was she from their universe, but she was the last of her kind, like him. And thank the cosmos that Zurg wasn't asexual like that....

    "You're sure? Absolutely sure?" she asked, her eyes looking him over anxiously besides his reassurances, completely missing the hilarious exchange between the grub and Zurg, but she did hear what he said. "A Tangean Royal? Ranger Nova? Who's that?" she asked blankly.

    Sometimes, it sucked having lived under a rock all this time, it really did. Poor Buzz had been crestfallen to find out she had no idea who he was before she came here. Priotities, Jo! She definitely didn't have them!
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:47 pm

    Thank the Cosmos Zurg wasn't asexual like that. This was what the Evil Emperor had in mind as they traveled yet two more levels down; to the sub-level containing the dreaded moonshark.

    "....Yes. Yes I am sure, mother." Zurg grumbled to Jo's persistent nagging.

    "Is she your mother? Odd, she's not evil..." The grub thought this was strange!

    "NO! NO, SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER, YOU DUNDERHEAD!" The Evil Emperor screamed at the top of his lungs. The grub could only yelp and hide behind Jo, squealing a pathetic apology.

    "I have failed you, your Evilness! Spare me, please!"

    "Yeah, yeah. I'll pencil you in for evil bowling next week...." Zurg waved a hand dismissively as he still walked down the corridor.

    It wasn't long before they reached yet another heavily secured door and the Evil Emperor grimaced at all the rust accumulating from the damp air all around. Note to self: fix the humidifier down here. That out of the way, the Evil Emperor patted his person and made sure he had nothing of value on him.

    "Alright, before we go in, I ask that you both remove any possessions. All of them should be placed in this basket, here." He instructed, gesturing to a little wimpy thing in the corner. "This is so that if you are swallowed, your possessions will not be ruined."
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:48 am

    Jo was about to retort, but the grub's reaction just made her snicker, and she quickly covered her mouth with a hand to keep from laughing out loud. She patted the grub on its head to stop its shaking, but it probably didn't help all that much. Evil bowling sounded pretty painful.

    Jo paused in front of the door, then shook her head, hands extended and fingers wiggling. "Nothing of value here. Unless you count my finge--oh wait!"

    She pulled a glove off and removed a ring from her finger--the resurrection ring. "Does this count?" she asked, holding the trinket out to him.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:50 pm

    Oh! It was the resurrection ring he had bought from Swindle! Hmm...

    "I'd say you keep that, Jo." Zurg suggested. "If you do get eaten and if you do die, you'll come back! And hopefully not in Coco's stomach... If this happens I think we'll already be surgically removing you, so no worries."

    No worries, he said.

    But that little, tiny detail taken care of the Evil Emperor made sure all his possessions were clear and he punched in a number sequence into the datalock. The grub was no dummy and as the dual pressure doors slowly pulled away in an agonizing grind it let out a yelp and jumped into a pipe, perhaps never to be seen again this day.

    "Hey! Don't you get stuck in the--Oh, never mind! Blasted grubs and their penchant for getting stuck!"

    Zurg only mumbled under his breath and went into the chamber, which was voluminous and dark. The air was chilled, to the point of being absolutely frigid, and the only lighting came from the glows of keys and monitors, with a luminescent tank in the middle. Whatever was in that massive tank let out a low, deep rumble that vibrated the very ground and the Evil Emperor tried to put on his nicest attitude.

    "Coco, darling~! You've got a guest! We like guests, don't we~?"

    Again, another rumble shook the room and the murky, glowing green water sifted; a gill here and there or an eye popped through the clouds of solution. And Zurg, giving a slight wince, kept his distance as he motioned for Jo to stay back.

    "I think she's a bit testy this morning..."
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:49 am

    "Ugh, that'd be nasty." But she put the ring back on anyway, pulling the glove back on. She wouldn't want Coco--however she looked like--to spot the shiny ring and try to chomp her fingers off.

    The grub scuttled off, obviously sensing the danger and preferring to face the vents rather than Coco. Jo was starting to think that this wasn't such a good idea....

    The tank stood in the center of the room, and it rumbled as something decidedly large moved in its depths. Jo swallowed, but stood her ground, standing by Zurg's side as her eyes were fixed upon the tank.

    She waved to the tank, and said a small, "Uh.... hi there?"
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Nov 06, 2010 2:40 pm

    Well, that did it. Jo's greeting set the moonshark off and with a tremendous roar from within the tank, Coco's face was finally revealed as she suddenly plastered it to the glass, her claws scraping from inside. She had six wide, alert eyes and each were pinpointed on Jo; hungry. Her teeth came in many jagged rows and each bristled at the young woman while Coco's gills flared up monstrously. My, she looked rather testy.

    Her bountiful muscles bunched out of tension, and three of Coco's eyes instantly snapped onto the Evil Emperor.

    "Ahaha~! Coco, you look... rather... nice!" He tried to make kissy, holding his hands while still smiling. "I think she doesn't like you..." Zurg whispered to Jo before approaching the 'grinning' moonshark's tank. "Coco, darling, this is Jo! We like Jo. Jo is a friend. Jo is not food. Friends are not food. So, ergo, Jo is not food."

    But while Zurg began to explain his rather simplistic logic to the creature, a writing, stocky tentacle began to reach out from the tank's top and slide down the glass, wriggling closer to the unsuspecting Evil Emperor.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Nov 06, 2010 5:45 pm

    Jo held her breath, and took a careful step back. She looked pretty vicious! If she wanted to eat her, Jo was sure that Coco wouldn't even have to break into a sweat to catch her. And perhaps it was just as well that she was staring so intently at Coco, not daring to let her gaze stray away lest Coco break from the tank and attack, because she saw the tentacle slither up whereas Zurg did not.

    "Uh, Zurg....?" Jo said slowly, eying the tentacle warily as it got closer to him and pointed at it. "Is she supposed to do that?"
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Nov 06, 2010 5:49 pm

    "Do wha--WHAAAHEEEEY!" Zurg was suddenly taken by surprise as the tentacle wrapped around an ankle and dangled him up high. "COCO!" He spat out, beating against his cape and skirt that wanted to irk him so thanks to gravity. One could clearly see his much coveted legs by this point. "Coco, you put me down this INSTANT! Wait, wait, WAAAAAIT!"

    The tentacle curled up with Zurg in tow and flung him at full strength, causing the Evil Emperor fly clear across the room and into a firm, metal wall.

    THUD!
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Sat Nov 06, 2010 5:52 pm

    "Zurg!" Jo broke out of her frozen state and ran to his side, quickly looking him over for any injuries, holding him close. "Are you hurt? Did you break anything?"

    She wrapped her arms around his arms and tried to help him up. "Why would she do that?"

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