Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    It's About Darn Time!

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    Zurg
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:10 am

    Oh, Jo was just begging for some hurt. Both Zurg and the grub stopped in their tracks and turned to look at her, both of them holding the same expression before answering.

    "Sweaty." They said in unison, going right back into walking down the hall and minding their own business.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:12 am

    "Figures," she mumbled, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest and followed them without another word.

    Oh, she'd get Zurg back for that. Him and his little grub too!
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:16 am

    But the Evil Emperor and his little grub didn't seem to pay Jo and her brooding much heed and they soon reached yet another elevator and Zurg swiped his PDA and waited for the grub and Jo to enter.

    "Better get in, Jo." He remarked casually. "These elevators are known to suddenly slam their doors and slice a few limbs off~!" Both he and his minion snickered, loving a good tease.

    If there was one thing Jo had to learn, it was that Planet Z was filled with elevators. Elevators, elevators everywhere.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:19 am

    Jo exhaled and entered quickly, knowing that they were just pulling her leg but not wanting to be caught off-guard just in case the statement proved true.

    Mumbling something under her breath, she pulled off the construction helmet and slipped it between her legs so she could redo her ponytail. Her sweat was clean-smelling! She'd smelled people who literally reeked of sweat before and she sure wasn't one of them when she showered everyday, sometimes even twice a day.

    And if Zurg didn't appreciate that she might as well go back to weekly showers.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Tue Sep 14, 2010 6:53 pm

    Luckily for Jo the ride to Level-05 was super fast, this elevator much more modern, and they were at the level in less than five minutes. Also lucky for her the level was much, much cleaner and the metal walls had a pristine sheen about them. There were more minions running around, too; grubs scuttling to go about their business, Hornets out on patrols, and even a little tekno-tik surveying a terminal to scout for possible security breaches.

    And as they got closer to weapons testing, Jo could hear faint booms and cheers.

    "Hmph, what are they excited about..." Zurg grumbled sourly as he inputted a code into a security terminal. The massive pressure bay doors released their hydraulic locks with a firm hiss and they pulled away. Behind the doors was a well-lit chamber, almost blinding white, and it was charred with blackened craters and pocket marks. At one end of the room was an array of targets and at the other was a group of eager, raucous minions. Some were grubs and some were brain pods; a type of peon Jo had yet to meet.

    "Fire again, fire again! Blow him up!"

    There was more cheering as a brain pod aligned a massive mortar cannon and with a claw, it pulled the trigger and a gigantic glob of super-heated, blue plasma fired out the barrel, careening all the way over to the other side with a whistle.

    BOOM!

    The target didn't stand a chance and as Zurg lowered a protective arm from his head, the target's head rolled to his feet and the Evil Emperor felt that scowl become a wee bit larger.

    It was him. Well, a rather shoddily done mock-up of him out of crayon and food pastes. Oh, so they thought they were funny, eh? He'll show them something funny. "Work humour..." He growled to Jo before cracking a few knuckles and puffing up, striding on forward to the noisy group. The grub at Jo's side only shivered and clutched her pant leg, weakly smiling up at her with a little shrug.

    "Yeeeeeeah! You showed him, 06!"

    "Good job, 06!"

    "Way to go, showing Flat-Face!"

    Uh-huh. Flat-Face? Oh, no. That was so not flying around here.

    Before any of the minions could spout more cheers, a shadow fell upon them and Zurg was at their backs like stink on a moozle. "So, having fun, are we~? My, you lackeys sure know how to pick 'em! Yep, sure do~!" The Evil Emperor threw the target's head right in the middle of the throng and at once the grubs and brain pods separated themselves from brain pod 06 in a millisecond.

    "06 did it!" They all yelled, whistling and stepping further back as Zurg's eyes began to glow threateningly.

    Brain pod 06 only lowered its cranial capsule and it whimpered pathetically. "Oh, craters..."
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:46 pm

    "Oh my." Jo had to try really hard not to burst out laughing at the entire situation, so she just hid her face behind her helmet and silently snickered for a bit. She wasn't laughing at Zurg. She'd never laugh at him. But his minions making a dummy of him and shooting at it was just asking for it, and she could already guess how Zurg would react.

    She bit on her lower lip and patted the grub's head, hoping she could stop its shivering, as she looked at the brain pod--cosmos, they really were brains in jars!--called 06 and wondered what Zurg would do next.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Tue Sep 14, 2010 11:31 pm

    "Hmph, you bet your pod 'craters'!" But Zurg's eyes dimmed and his angry ranting reduced itself to minimal grumbling, the Evil Emperor eying the cannon 06 had used to destroy the dummy. Well, that didn't look like a bad model. What was it? "Alright, I'll bite." The Evil Emperor remarked casually as he placed both fists upon his hips, tipping his head at the weapon. "What's with the cannon?"

    Perhaps excited that its master was giving its creation attention, the brain pod looked up with a snap of its capsule and it stuttered in bewilderment and relief. "I-I-It's a new prototype plasma mortar that, upon detonation with the target, showers crystallic shards that add a bonus shrapnel effect. It's... not quite done, as you can see your evilness, but... with a little tweaking I think it can devastate a group of armoured organics."

    Hmmm, that sounded useful as well as deliciously evil. Maybe another test should be given; one where he can observe.

    "Armoured organics... Let's see about that! DROP ANOTHER TARGET!"

    Minions jumped at the shout and they hastily complied, pulling a switch. At the far end of the chamber, another dummy appeared out of the floor--this one in the shape of, you guessed it, Lightyear.

    "Ahhh, Lightyear...." Zurg held out his hands and flexed his fingers, feeling something he hadn't felt in a very long time. Yes, how fitting! Use this cannon on his nemesis! YES! "Excellent! Move out of the way! Let a pro show you how it's do--Oh!" The moment Zurg wrapped his itchy fingers around the trigger, he slapped his forehead and peeked over the monstrous thing at Jo.

    "Jo! Would you like to do the honours? Everyone, this is Jo. Say hi. DON'T BE RUDE!"

    Again the minions jumped and they all straightened out, mumbling. "Hi, Jo."

    There, such good minions.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:56 am

    It was nice to see Zurg had a sense of humor and wouldn't punish them for shooting at a replica of him. Another dummy appeared as per Zurg's request, this time in the image of Buzz Lightyear himself. Jo smirked, watching Zurg eagerly grab the gun, but then Zurg turned to her to ask her whether she wanted to shoot first.

    "Huh? Me?" she asked, waving meekly at the minions when they greeted her. "But I wouldn't want to deprive you of your moment in besting Dummy Lightyear...."
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:39 pm

    "Yes, yes; you. Is anyone else named Jo here--No, put your hand down!" Zurg grumbled as a minion started to raise their hand. He turned, asking Jo once more if she would come on over and fire the big gun at the dummy Lightyear. "It's a great stress reliever~!"

    C'mon, you know want to squeeze that trigger.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:54 am

    "Well...." A small part of her did want to try and shoot with the gun, and seeing as Zurg was insisting, who was she to say no?

    "Alright," she finally agreed, stepping forwards to grasp the gun. It was probably heavy, seeing as it was on its own stand, but she turned it and aimed carefully at the dummy, taking a deep breath before pulling the trigger.

    Globs of blue plasma enveloped the dummy, tearing it apart at the seams and leaving nothing but a charred mess behind.

    "Woooooo! Alright! Bullseye!" Jo laughed, jumping in a circle and punching the air triumphantly.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:06 am

    "Very nice, very nice." Zurg and his minions did a little golf clap at Jo's marksmanship. "Anything else for weapons testing today?" He asked his minions patiently.

    One grub stepped up, jumping around excitedly as they rose a hand. "ME! MEMEMEME! I developed a cake machine!"

    "..................Anyone else?" The Evil Emperor sighed.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:11 am

    Jo couldn't help but snicker at that. "Do you really have cake machines?" she asked curiously.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:32 am

    The grub quickly nodded and smiled broadly. "Ye--!"

    "NO." But Zurg was fast to interject and he let his eyes flare up brilliantly as he eyed the grub with a sinister glare. "No, we do NOT have cake machines that are stored within Level-03. Period. Now, Jo..." He began, turning to face his guest with a smile, his eyes no longer glowing.

    "What would you like to see next?"

    At once the minions all started to speak, randomly throwing suggestions much to the Evil Emperor's grimacing. Sheesh, they were a loud group.

    "Go see the Moonshark!"

    "Visit us in the mess hall!"

    "To the torture chamber!"

    "Take a dip in the septic tank!"

    ..........................................................

    "Okaaaaay... now that last one..." Zurg frowned.
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Jo Pistonne on Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:21 pm

    "Right," Jo grinned. No cake machines down in Level-03 essentially meant that there were. That was something worth investigating.

    When he asked her what she'd like to do next, the grubs and brain pods all jumped to make suggestions, and Jo had to admit she was slightly overwhelmed and yet surprised at their enthusiasm.

    "You have a Moonshark?" she asked eagerly. "I thought those were extinct!"
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    Re: It's About Darn Time!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Sep 18, 2010 1:48 am

    "Well, yes. They're exti--I mean, they're endangered." Zurg and his minions all did the air quotes, and the Evil Emperor left the presence of his peons to accompany Jo down the same and only hall they had come through not long ago. The grub was still following, but Zurg didn't seem to pay much heed; he needed his schedule, anyway!

    "Coco's a sweet thing, really!" He went on to say with a fond gesture. Why, he was even smiling as he recalled his dear pet. "She's getting in age, and is certainly grouchy as of late, but she's charming and would love some company. So how about it? You up to seeing Coco? Don't worry; she won't harm you. That is if you behave... She does favour the flesh of human. Plump human." He teased with a small pinch to Jo's hip.

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